I want jokes! Funny jokes with a little YA! Must be funny! I'm in a hurry!

1. The fox got into the chicken coop and ate three chickens in one sitting, holding on for dear life before stopping. When it tried to sneak out through the hole in the wall where it came in, it got stuck. Looking at the approaching night patrol dog, the fox said to himself, "It was insatiable greed that got me into trouble."

The night patrol dog heard the fox's lament and commented, "Your reflection is very profound, but if I let you out, you will make the same mistake next time for sure."

2. The leopard and the coyote hunted in partnership. Every time they caught a prey, the panther dominated the chewing and swallowing, and finally left only a few bones for the coyote to chew.

The coyote protested, "Since we are partners, we should distribute the prey equally."

The panther said, "You deal with me, and to live in peace is the greatest equality. And for me to leave you a few bones is nothing short of mercy!"

3. After the fox cheated the crow out of the meat in his mouth, the crow called the fox a liar every time he saw him.

On one occasion, the fox said to the crow, "Mrs. Crow, you have absolutely no need to be so righteously indignant at the word 'liar.' In fact, you yourself are a complete liar. You yourself know better than anyone else what your singing voice is like, but after listening to the praise of others, you really think you are a singer. Aren't you also a liar who deceives the world? Of course, the first person you deceive is yourself."

4. The shrimp happened to come into a well. The water was ice-cold and sweet, and the food was very rich.

The shrimp thought to itself, "I found this well, and I want to have complete possession of it, so I can't invite other shrimp over.

So the shrimp never went out, even though it had numerous opportunities to do so.

After a time the shrimp died of old age, and the well remained as it had been before, without a single shrimp.

5. A wounded sparrow was cowering at the foot of the wall in the cold winter, freezing.

The cow saw the wounded sparrow and came over to him, and withstood the pain and pulled a handful of cow's hair out of his own body, and covered the sparrow, and brought it food.

The sparrow was saved, and his companion said to him, "The cow has saved your life; you should go and thank him. The sparrow said, "I see no need. A handful of hair for a cow, is not just one hair, too insignificant, is to thank people will not care!"

6, the circus boss from the zoo bought a lion, intends to train well to participate in the circus performance. But the lion could not drill the iron ring well.

The owner threatened the lion, "If you can't do it again, I'll send you back to the zoo."

The lion heard this and said, "I'll go back."

The boss reminded the lion, "Don't forget that you are here as a performing artist. In a zoo cage you're just an animal."

The lion retorted, "No, the keeper said we are artists in the zoo too."

The owner sneered, "Artists? You eat meat and sleep in front of the visitors, what kind of art is that?"

The lion also sneered, "Performance art!"

7, a family overflowing with rats, so specially from the field to find a cat known as the most powerful ever. Sure enough, the results were remarkable! With the companions continue to decline, the rats are y disturbed, they continue to discuss countermeasures, but still one by one fell into the cat's mouth ...

Finally, the last two mice left, the mouse A said to the mouse B: "You sneak out while the cat sleeps, if nothing else then call me out ... ..." Mouse B went out obediently.

After a short time, a small voice came from outside the hole, "It's all right, come on out!"

Mouse A then tiptoed out, did not expect to step out of the hole, was a big paw grabbed, only to hear the cat thief said: "Now you know the importance of learning a foreign language it ......"

8, hen hatching eggs The time of the year has come, a few hens quietly lying in the nest hatching eggs. Ms. Duck, who had nothing to do, came and wandered here and there, accusing the white hens of hatching too few eggs, the black hens of not concentrating enough on hatching the eggs and running out to drink, and the yellow hens of not being professional enough in their lying down positions.

The rooster said to Ms. Duck, "You say that people are not doing this and that right, but you hatch a few eggs to see."

A hen chimed in and said, "You don't get it, it's usually the people who can't do anything who talk down to others!"

I. Interesting occupation

1. Mosquito: working in a small hospital, specializing in injections.

2. Bee: I'm a stewardess, I'm very hard.

3. Butterfly: look at my dress do not understand, dancer!

4. Dragonfly: flying a helicopter, the ideal is to be an astronaut.

5. Spider: open a web store, food and drink will not worry!

6. Ant: Alas, a small porter, bitter wow! What time is the end!

7. Mouse: this year, carefree, thieves live very comfortable.

8. Cat: the past is the manager of the grain depot, retired for many years.

2. Funny thunder words:

1. Parrot: I just spend the time of other people gossiping on learning foreign languages.

2. Hippopotamus: Julia Roberts is nothing, I am the real beauty with a big mouth.

3. Peacock: There's no charge for watching me perform.

4. Panda: I didn't do the "panda burning incense" thing.

5. Gecko: It's easy to climb the walls of the Forbidden City, but it's hard to climb a network firewall!

6. Bat: I am a veritable ultrasound guerrilla.