I remember for a long time in the long night, in my dream, I slid back on the golden rice fields without breaking a mountain tip.
So I called the name of a strange hometown again and again, like calling a missing child.
I haven't been back for five years. Forget about the past. What chance do I have to go back in the future?
My hometown is too far away, but my hometown is too close. When the back of my hand touches the carpet, people like me can't even go back to their hometown. What rooms are suitable for returning home and wandering? The music on the radio is over, and I only feel fear and sadness.
Hometown is only in legend, only in my mind and paper. The farther away you are from her, the more real she is, and the clearer she closes her eyes ... In broad daylight, as long as I get close to her, my hometown will be smashed with a bang. The negative film of memory is exposed to white, the anesthesia fades, and new pain occupies the nerve. At that time, I really became a hard-to-find person in my hometown.
What's the significance of returning to China? Just from one foreign land to another.
I can still recall the brick-red garden wall, I can distinguish different insects, I can pull down the curtains one by one all night ... I struggled like a drowning man, struggling not to forget it. I knew I couldn't be loyal to her, so I racked my brains and begged her forgiveness. But my past is still decreasing bit by bit, disappearing at the speed visible to the naked eye-lighter and lighter, overflowing from my body and soaking in the hot air.
Sometimes I fall heavily on the ground and look up at my hometown in a trance. The blood on the knee dripped to the ground and merged into a pool behind the door. The joy of childhood is like an enduring ballad in my hometown. That piece of land is full of rice in the season, but it has been abruptly passed by the cement asphalt pavement that I am grasping now.
I clenched my fist, but I couldn't catch anything.
When people in my hometown disappear like clouds in the corner of my hometown sky, I can't say a word about her anymore. I closed my eyes, but I couldn't recall how my hometown rose from Ran Ran below the horizon. The connection was cut off, stable and free, clear and vague. The history page of my life was pasted, hastily kneaded into a ball and thrown into the bottom of my soul.
I tried to spread it out and flatten it, but the tears made the ink dizzy and I couldn't see it clearly anymore. I tore a corner roughly and tried to peep through a word or two, but as soon as the scribbled handwriting entered my eyes, my eyes went blind.
Hometown, hometown. I sang silently, but I couldn't hear an answer.
Editor's note: Hometown is in my heart. Sing if you want, and sing if you want. My hometown is far away. If you miss it, stand on tiptoe.