The most important thing to remember is the fact that you are a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law, and that you have a good relationship with them.

Father's siblings are more, in recent years, aunts, aunts have upgraded to become mothers-in-law, the topic of discussion naturally cannot be separated from the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship, "mothers-in-law" are competing to complain about the daughter-in-law difficult to serve, it seems that everyone has a bellyful of bitterness, each family has a book of difficult to read the scripture, a good living family gatherings have evolved into a miserable than the General Assembly The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.

I was sitting on the sidelines, just smiling and silent. If my female friends of the same age were together, the picture would be like this: this complains that the mother-in-law is a hands-off, do not care about anything. The mother-in-law complained that her mother-in-law is too much control, the dish put more salt, the child wears less, the bath time is long, everything is worried about.

At this point, my best role is to be a listener, not much to say not much, or I will become a target, be envious and jealous of people scolded: "or you happy, you are unable to understand us these deep into the complexity of the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship in the woman's suffering ah!"

I've been married to my husband for 10 years, and I've been living under one roof with my mother-in-law for no more than four months. My mother-in-law is a southerner, more self-centered, and hasn't left the county much in most of her life, and my husband and I have settled in the north, and our two places are far away from each other. I have given birth to two babies, from pregnancy to birth, mother-in-law did not even a phone call, 10 years of marriage, mother-in-law initiative to call her husband's phone together no more than 5, are husband to call her. My mom and husband took care of me during the month, so I was very lucky not to have experienced what is the "monthly feud not **** wear day".

After the birth of my first child, I was sick for a period of time, my mother went home to take care of my elderly grandmother, my husband had to work, but also to take the time to take care of me and the child, it is really not possible to turn around, and I wanted to ask my mother-in-law to come over to help, and my mother-in-law reluctantly came to the beginning of the relationship between us is still okay. Later, the atmosphere in the house changed subtly, now I think it should be the mother-in-law is not willing to continue to stay here, but she did not open up, so she deliberately create all kinds of trouble.

4 months later, the mother-in-law went back to her hometown, I originally thought the matter was over, but my husband's aunt suddenly called, the two of us scolded a pass, said we are not filial piety, do not let my mother-in-law to eat, do not take my mother-in-law to the hairdresser, do not give my mother-in-law to buy clothes, and so on, in short, a variety of wrong. Probably because my mother-in-law felt that she did not help her son with the child, afraid of being friends and family say it, she made up a lot of lies to discredit me and my husband.

At that time, the gas ah, indescribable, feel particularly aggrieved, we have not done the old man sorry things, but on the back of the "unfilial" black pot, really jumped into the Yellow River can not be washed. This has been the past almost 9 years, I have been on the mother-in-law has been talking about hate, but also can not talk about love, we have their own good.

Parents-in-law conflict is the problem of the ages, so do not try to find a correct answer, have to argue who is right and who is wrong, the home is not reasonable place, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along with the highest state is to their own good. You are comfortable, I am also comfortable, to achieve this realm, grasp the three words is very important.

Clear

Here is the clear meaning of clear, we have to maintain a clear mind, understand the following reasons:

1. What is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the end

First of all, we understand that between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the end is how a relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a man because of a man only to know each other from a certain point of view, daughter-in-law robbed her mother-in-law of her daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law snatched the mother-in-law raised more than twenty years of children, she more or less will be jealous of you, hate you, "Why I have worked hard to raise twenty years of children, to be obedient to your words?" Perhaps this is the root of the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

2. Responsibilities and obligations between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

Many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts escalated to the point of irreconcilable, are accompanied by the birth of a child, some daughters-in-law hope that their mother-in-law to help take care of the child, and hope that the old man can accept their own concept of education, can not produce conflict? Some daughters-in-law want their mothers-in-law not to interfere in her education of children, but the elderly feel that this is my grandchildren, why not let me bring? There are also mothers-in-law who feel that you have a child, why do I have to bring it, I have to go to the square dance, enjoy my old age!

Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have to weigh their roles, one is the child's grandmother, one is the child's mother, from the legal obligation, the mother is the child's guardian, the child is rightfully should be brought by the mother, if the mother-in-law does not bring, we can not be faulted, people do not have that obligation, the child is our own, they are tired of bringing, either to bear, or to find a husband to help.

If the mother-in-law is willing to bring, that people have feelings, we have to turn a blind eye, endure those you are not accustomed to, but also off the principle of parenting differences, otherwise, unless you do not work with their own, or find a nanny. Both can not, we can only be more tolerant.

Here is the meaning of respect and far away, respect and far away is to show respect but have some concerns do not want to approach. In this world, almost can not find a 100% match with us, even if it is lying on our side of the pillow, and how? In the TV series "Divorce Lawyer", there is a line: a person in his life at least 200 times to divorce the idea; there are 50 times to kill each other's ideas.

What's more, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were originally with "hate" to know each other, become a family, so, to the mother-in-law we must first of all be clear that she is the elders, respect for the grown-ups is supposed to, do not be bossed around by the mother-in-law; and secondly, we have to understand that the mother-in-law is not a mother, and we and the mother to casually make a couple of jokes, even if it's too much, at most, by the mother with a smile scolded a couple of times, and the mother-in-law is not a mother. If we joke with our mothers, even if it is too much, we will be scolded by our mothers with a smile, but if it is our mother-in-law, she may remember it for the rest of her life! So, we have to stay away from the mother-in-law.

Often heard some daughter-in-law said, now she does not help me bring up the child, after her old age, I do not care about her. From a legal point of view, the daughter-in-law really do not have the obligation to support the in-laws, but she is her husband's mom, your husband is the obligation to support the parents, you if you love your husband, want to make your little family peace, we must support your husband to support the in-laws, and you do not want your husband to be scolded by the unfilial descendants of it.

I don't have a lot of interaction with my mother-in-law, but on her birthday and holidays, I still remind my husband to greet her, give her money, and pay her respects. We are also mothers, it is not easy to raise a child. Even if your mother-in-law has a thousand mistakes, without her, you will not know your husband, right? What's more, as long as you are reasonable, reasonable, and stick to the bottom line, it's a good idea to do it.

Don't take the old man as their own nanny and money tree, don't take the old man's dedication as a matter of course, don't care how she is, we do well with our conscience on the line. Respect for her, but also not to find trouble for themselves, so that we can each be good, each other, those adult past, how much is a blood feud, it is worth remembering a lifetime ah! Tired, put down, the day is good.