People both plot against each other and set up defenses against each other, and all the complexity of human relationships stems from this. The best relationship is to care for each other, not mutual need, the real interaction between people, to the simple and true, the highest level of interpersonal relationships, is to meet with a clear happiness.
1
Eight years ago, I went out of college, looking for a job around the world, all around the wall. When I was lost, a good friend from high school called and invited me to go to Nanchang to develop.
That is my very good buddy, without the slightest hesitation, that night, I sat on the train from Xi'an to Nanchang. The thought of having a decent job right away, the excitement replaced the fatigue of more than 1,000 kilometers and more than ten hours of hard seat.
The next day, my good friend personally came to pick up, but also took me to the "sunset and the unruly fly together, the autumn water *** long sky a color" Tengwang Pavilion skirting a circle.
A whole set of "service" down, I am very touched: this buddy, meaning!
On the third day, began to talk about the development of "business", he took me to a neighborhood. As soon as I entered the door, a full mouth of Shandong dialect of the aunt of the head to tell me the current economic situation, and said Nanchang is located in central China, the state vigorously support the secret project, I must be such a talented person to be competent.
Around and around, I understand: this is a trap, my good buddy to take me into the big pit of marketing!
It was the first time in my life that I felt a great loss, and even if I finally escaped, the feeling of being cheated by my best friend is still unforgettable.
I'm not the only one who has been cheated by someone close. Every year, there are countless people who mistakenly enter the pyramid scheme: they are cheated by their relatives, cheated by their loved ones, cheated by their friends ...... in front of the money, as if not to sacrifice some of the true feelings, can not walk the jianghu properly. In front of the interests, love is not important, money is the most important.
Most of the modern people are utilitarian, false feelings, cheating more money, less long love. The reason why relationships in modern society are getting thinner and thinner is because there are too many people like my buddy who have been overspending on friendship to satisfy their personal desires, and people are scheming with each other and setting up defenses against each other, so that people are losing more and more expectations for the word "friendship".
2
Every winter, I have to participate in the college reunion, so many years to participate in the reunion down, my feelings on the two words: embarrassed.
This year's reunion, the director of the department attended as usual. The director is still the director, but the way the director addresses us is changing every year. Mixed well, the suffix is "total": Mr. Wang, Mr. Zhang, Mr. Li ...... Mixed poorly, the prefix is "small": Mr. Wang, Mr. Zhang, Mr. Li...
This year's reunion was a great success. ...
Last year's reunion, the former Little Li jumped to become Mr. Li, and this year, there is a Mr. Wang.
Mingle and mingle, a rich old classmate asked the director of the school where to park, the director of the enthusiastic introduction of the parking lot, parking space, all the arrangements for meticulous and thoughtful. A not so good mix of students also jokingly asked, "Where can I park my bike?"
As a result, the director put on a stern face and coldly dropped a sentence: "It is recommended to travel by subway." Seeing the embarrassed and lost look of the students who were advised to travel by subway, I really want to pat him on the head and tell him: mix well and try to add a suffix to yourself soon! At that time, driving a Rolls Royce around the campus!
Over the years, reunions have become more and more "tainted" over the years, with more and more exquisite and expensive dishes on the table, but the people sitting at the table, "remembering the year" is less and less, "more than the present" is more and more. "more and more, the feeling of true love is getting fainter and fainter, bragging about the meaning of the broad more and more thick. Classmates love tasteless, teachers and students love tasteless, full of table filled with copper flavor.
In May 2017, ZJU 120th anniversary of the occasion, ZJU alumni Lu Jin, a "ZJU today 120th birthday all over the world jumped up square dance" red. In this "cold water for the alma mater" article, Lu Jin lamented: "a good thing has become a pompous thing". You see, brand-name colleges and universities run school celebrations, the celebration is not academic how awesome, the celebration is to donate money how much!
Said a father with a child out of the street, ran into years of no see classmates, each other pleasantries for a while, before parting, the two are politely said: "next time to eat a meal together." But as soon as he turned around, the child said to his father, "Dad, you didn't even leave that uncle's phone number."
Simple children may not understand that in the adult world, the relationship between people has been materialized, and there is never only the word "interest", where there is "friendship"? We can put a smile on our faces and in our hearts we can think: "What will he ask me for? What can I ask him for?" In this society, the utilitarian people more, talk about love less, thousands of miles to send off less, thousands of miles to chase the debt more.
3
There has never been an era more pretentious than ours, more lacking in truthfulness, more exaggerated hypocritical feelings. If you live in such a society where we are all in danger of being caught in a trap, you will realize that sometimes just to maintain a relationship, we have already exhausted ourselves physically and mentally, and the world is still a good place to live.
But a little further back in time, the world was far from that. Human interactions are clean, simple, and righteous.
In the Song dynasty, there was Dao Qian, who accompanied his friends for thousands of miles from each other.
Song Yuanfeng two years, the Wutai case, in this Northern Song literary world of the widest reach of the movement, the most seriously implicated is Su Shi.
He was first relegated to Huangzhou, where he lived a bitter and lonely life.
During this time, he wrote words, as if in a sigh: get up late at night, sigh "lonely sandbar cold", see the poplar flowers, sigh "point is the tears of the departed", a mid-autumn festival, or marigolds, sighing! "Life a few degrees of new cool"......
A foreign country, Mr. Dong Po has no place to complain about the pain. At this time, Dao Qian not far from Bianjing to Huangzhou, lived, this stay is five years, accompanied Su Shi through the most difficult years.
Later, Mr. Su Shi was deported to the South China Sea, and when he found out about it, he sailed a flat boat across the sea to follow him.
A journey to the mountains, a journey to the water, not for the benefit of the company, for the company, care. The best friendship, do not publicize, do not show off, life when you can not necessarily notice it, only when you are in the dark, in order to see it flashing light: rest assured that I have been there.
4
In the Qing Dynasty, there are for the sake of his friends to run to the rescue, and even hesitate to kneel Gu Zhenguan.
In the fifteenth year of the Shunzhi reign, a large number of literati were exiled to Ningguta because of a massive case of bribery. Among the people affected by this catastrophe was a literati named Wu Zhaoqian.
Wu Zhaochen wrote to his friend Gu Zhenguan in Ninguta, and after receiving Wu Zhaochen's letter, Gu Zhenguan vowed to "return to Jizi". He ran around for days, hoping that someone would help rescue Wu Zhaochen.
The human condition is weak, the world is cold, and no one is willing to help others who have already made it to the top. Gu Zhenguan was at a loss, after returning home, mixed feelings, put pen to paper and wrote the "Golden Wisp Song", the first line of the opening paragraph, is a strong love for each other:
"Quarterly peace or not ......"
He took the written good words and found Nalan Rongruo, who was friends with the emperor at that time, and asked him to come to the rescue of his friend. Rongruo promised to rescue him within ten years. Gu Zhenguan was so anxious that he knelt down and said, "What is the length of a person's life? Please take five years." The most literati bones hard, Gu Zhenguan this kneeling, used up a lifetime of courage.
Wu Zhaoqian was released on the day of return, specially to the Nalan House to pay tribute. In a room on the white wall, see the inscription: "Gu Liangfen for the talented Songling Wu Hancher", which realized that Gu Zhenguan for his life back to do his best. At that moment, the past, gushing heart, has been 50 years old Wu Zhaoqian, can not help but let go of howling.
You see, such a friendship, the same does not flaunt, not profit-oriented, only for a promise, put all their efforts.
5
Even in the chaotic Republic of China, strangers interacted with each other simply and righteously.
In 1922, Shen Congwen, a 20-year-old boy from western Hunan, traveled several days and nights by train to Beijing in order to see more fresh sunlight and cross more fresh bridges. It is not easy to live in Chang'an. Two years later, in the huge imperial capital, he was so poor that even eating was a problem.
That winter, Shen wrote to several famous writers in the capital.
Among these writers, the only one who replied was Yu Dafu, who was a professor of journalism at the Beijng University.
Yu Dafu braved the snow to come, the first thing he did was to put his scarf on Shen Congwen, who was already shivering.
Before this, Yu Dafu and Shen Congwen have never crossed paths, but Yu Dafu insisted on inviting Shen Congwen to dinner.
The meal*** cost more than one yuan and seventy cents, but also Shen Congwen "drift" since the most sumptuous meal. After eating, Yu Dafu took out a five-dollar ticket to settle the bill, and then, patting Shen Congwen's shoulder, and the recovery of three dollars and twenty cents, all into his hands.
Because of these three dollars, Shen Congwen eventually survived the most difficult stage.
Half a century later, Yu Dafu's niece came to visit Shen Congwen, who had already become a great writer. Referring to Yu Dafu, Shen said, "That day, he took out five dollars and went out to eat with me.
When recalling this past event, Shen Congwen was already more than 70 years old, and from the death of Yu Dafu, it has been more than thirty years. Yu Dafu's five dollars, Shen Congwen remembered for the rest of his life.
Why tell this story? It is to say that strangers can be so honest and frank with each other, and the best relationship is probably like this.
6
In 1989, San Mao, who had just returned from the desert, stood on the streets of Taipei and saw a cold, numb, expressionless face hurrying past her.
SAN MAO was terrified: "I warned myself not to become one of those people because I had lived in this environment for a long time, without realizing it. They make me so gloomy that I don't quite dare to look in the mirror."
More than two decades have passed, and we are in an age where relationships have not improved, but instead have grown colder and more embarrassing. In this era of unparalleled technological advancement, there is almost no distance between people, yet nowhere is there distance.
Self-interest, hypocrisy, and vulgarity are accelerating the destruction of simple and pure relationships between people. The "face to face" distance brought closer by the Internet is far from keeping up with the "heart to heart" speed of modern people.
In this secular world, "do only what's good for you" seems to have become the default rule of survival, and everyone is an exquisite egoist. But for a healthy relationship, you have to be serious.
When you try to tear off the mask of hypocrisy, face everything frankly, you will find: the best interpersonal relationship is to care for each other, rather than mutual need, the real interaction between people, to the simple and true, the highest level of interpersonal relationships, is to meet with the happy.