1.
Lin Meng and I walked out of the school's gate together, dragging our large and small luggage. I pointed to Li Kai, who was standing not far from the school entrance, and asked, "Meng Meng, have you really decided?"
"Decided, he can't give me the life I want, we're going to break up anyway, might as well do it before it's too late." Lin Meng frowned slightly, looking slightly annoyed.
I thought to myself, "That's fine, how can an onlooker understand what's going on in their relationship.
Just a few steps away, Li Kai walked over and begged Lin Meng bitterly not to break up. The company's main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers," he said. I thought Lin Meng would be soft, but I didn't expect her to go straight away without even saying goodbye.
I still remember when I turned my head to look back, Li Kai squatted on the side of the road, crying like a child.
This was the last memory of college for us. After graduating from college, we both went to different companies. I went to a real estate company in the field to do sales, Lin Meng stayed in a local construction company responsible for project contact work.
It's not easy to work alone outside. I've been working hard during the day, and at night I have to take care of the household chores when I get back to my rented house, and sometimes I get homesick with tears in my eyes.
I still remember when I was a newcomer to the company, I felt that everyone was very good to get along with, until later on when the customers I wanted to sign up for were always inexplicably other people's customers, I realized that I was too simple. Once, I finally couldn't help but argue with my coworkers and cried out in frustration without saying a few words.
When the tears flowed down, I really hated myself for being so useless, and turned around and walked out of the company, thinking that I would never stay in such a place that eats people's bones again.
I didn't get very far before I felt myself being dragged by someone. When I looked back, it was Zhao Ming, who was in sales with me.
"Lin Xue, are you okay?" He said, smoothly handing me tissues.
I didn't know how to react for a moment and just stared at him. Zhao Ming looked at me like this, and without saying a word, he dragged me to have coffee. That afternoon, Zhao Ming and I chatted for a long time in the coffee shop. He told me a lot about his first experience in the company, and those things that were obviously a bit bitter were actually very humorous in his self-admiring narration. The first time I was in front of a man in a mess a moment to cry a moment to laugh.
It was probably because of Zhao Ming's comfort that I stuck with the company. He would always be there when I needed him, bringing me help or comfort. Two months later, I got together with Zhao Ming.
2.
That New Year's Eve, my sister brought her new boyfriend, Chen Li, to the house.
Chen Li was very handsome and treated people just right. He was a rich second-generation man that Lin Meng had met on the project, and his family was well off. The company's main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers," he said. "I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that," he said. I'm not sure if I've ever had a good time, but I'm not sure if I've ever had a good time," he said.
The three aunts and six grandmothers took a look at this state of mine and couldn't help but play the role of a big sister, saying that I should hurry up and find a boyfriend so that I won't have a hard time finding one when I'm older. And, you have to look for a young man like Chen Li, a good person, family conditions are also good, the future will not suffer anything.
Listening to everyone's advice, I couldn't help but think of Zhao Ming's hard work. He is an ordinary-looking man, his family conditions are not even as good as mine, and he doesn't have Chen Li's eight-sidedness. Putting it that way, it seemed like he couldn't compare to Chen Li anywhere.
But I like him.
After the banquet, people scattered one after another. The house returned to its usual tranquility. I was lying on the bed after washing up, and video chatting with Zhao Ming. Perhaps I was having a good time, but I didn't know when Lin Meng came in.
"Ha, I caught you!" Lin Meng snatched my cell phone and asked Zhao Ming on the phone with a smile, "You're my sister's boyfriend, right? Why don't you come to play on New Year's Eve?"
"Meng Meng, stop it, give it to me."
Lin Meng handed me her cell phone with a thieving smile on her face. I hurriedly hung up with Zhao Ming, intending to clean up after my naughty sister.
Lin Meng, this girl did not hide, after being cleaned up by me, she got into the quilt, and after interrogating Zhao Ming carefully, she asked, "Sister, why don't you find a better one? I see that he is also average looking."
"He's nice, I like being with him."
"Sis, being nice can't be a meal, you should think more about your future when you fall in love and get married."
"Zhao Ming is a progressive person, don't worry, I know what I'm doing."
After I went back to work, it wasn't long before Lin Meng accepted Chen Li's proposal. In the picture, Lin Meng was in the flowers and candlelight, smiling sweetly, and the diamond ring on her finger shone with romantic luster.
I showed the picture to Zhao Ming and told her my sister was getting married. He looked at the picture and said dully, "Lin Xue, I feel like I'm watching you being proposed to. You guys are so alike."
"We're twins, of course we look alike."
"Lin Xue, I will make you so happy in the future." Zhao Ming looked at me with deep love in his eyes.
I nodded and leaned on his shoulder, smiling sweetly.
Lin Meng's wedding came as promised, and I took this opportunity to bring Zhao Ming to meet my parents. Although my parents are supportive of my relationship with Zhao Ming, they are still worried that I may be struggling to make ends meet after I get married. Zhao Ming saw his parents' concern and said in front of them that he would make sure that I would have a good life.
A little more than a year later, Zhao Ming and I got married. We had a simple wedding, and he said in front of all the guests that I was in every plan for the future. I felt at the time that I was the happiest woman in the world.
3.
My life after marriage with Lin Meng can be described as worlds apart.
Lin Meng did not go back to work after her marriage and lived like a young grandmother at home. Being the daughter-in-law of a rich family seems to be very uncomplicated, and Lin Meng's eccentric nature probably didn't fit in with her mother-in-law's eyes, so it didn't take long for Lin Meng and Chen Li to move out of the villa and live alone.
Lin Meng, who lives alone with her husband, has been enjoying a comfortable life, shopping, beautifying and working out every day. Chen Li's work is sometimes very busy, she will occasionally travel on days when Chen Li is traveling. I was in Lin Meng's circle of friends, followed her together to see the beauty of the four seasons, enjoy the mountains and rivers and scenery.
Lin Meng often chatted with me about how she had a good time, or how her husband had taken her on a romantic trip. To be honest, I sometimes envy Lin Meng's life in my heart. I also wished I didn't have to work so hard every day.
Soon after Zhao Ming and I got married, we came out to start a business together. We started with a small daily-use department store and worked our asses off every day. During that time, we both lost weight at a rate visible to the naked eye. When we lay together at night in exhaustion, Zhao Ming would always put his arm around me and say heartbreakingly, "Xiaoxue, I've really wronged you."
The days went by like this, our small department store business was getting better and better, and I was pregnant. At the end of my pregnancy, Zhao Ming refused to let me stay in the store. He hired someone to come to the store to help, so that I could rest assured that I would be at home to recuperate.
A short time later, our daughter Lele was born. During the month, my mom stayed behind to take care of me. Lin Meng also stayed with me for a few days, saying she wanted to see more of her little niece.
During dinner, mom asked about Chen Li a few times, but Lin Meng was vague and just said she was too busy with her project. I couldn't be bothered to ask more questions, I just changed the subject and asked her when she was going to have a baby, Lin Meng smiled and said she hadn't had enough fun yet, so she'd wait a little longer.
After finishing the month, my mom was ready to go back to her hometown. When I was leaving, my mom told me that Zhao Ming was a reliable person who treated me and my family very well, and told me to cherish him.
4.
Time flew by, and five years later I was already a mother of two girls. Zhao Ming and I also grew our business, starting from a department store, and now have taken over the sales of several building materials companies through business partnerships. After my second child was born, I stopped doing business with my husband and focused mainly on raising our two children.
This time, we are really well off compared to when we first got married. My parents often exclaimed to me that my son-in-law, who was not so promising back then, was so good.
In contrast, Chen Li, who was once the favorite of everyone, did not bring Lin Meng long-lasting happiness. They are still married without children, and when asked, they say they don't want children yet. Lin Meng from the beginning of the smile like a flower, to the current forced smile, clear-eyed people can see in the eyes.
On New Year's Eve that year, our family happened to be at my parents' house. It was almost twelve o'clock when a knock sounded at the door. Dad opened the door and saw that it was the drunken Lin Meng.
Dad helped her to sit on the sofa and rushed to pour her a glass of water. Mom anxiously asked what was wrong with her. Lin Xue cried out with a "wow" sound.
She was crying while she was huffing and puffing about how Chen Li doesn't love her anymore, and often doesn't come home to be with her, doesn't love to contact her, and always hates her for being annoying, and now he doesn't even bother to come home to celebrate the New Year to pretend to be with her. I'm not sure how much I love you, but I'm not sure how much I love you," he said.
My two children were woken up by Lin Meng's cries and ran out clutching their pillows, asking my sister-in-law what was wrong. I sighed and said, "My sister-in-law is in a sad situation, do you two want to go give my sister-in-law a loving hug?"
Two little fleshy children ran next to Lin Meng and hugged her one on each side, chanting "Auntie is good, Auntie doesn't cry, we all love you."
Lin Meng was hugged by the two children so comforting, crying even more sad. The two children looked at me innocently, realizing that they seemed to have done something wrong.
I pulled the two children and took them to bed first. I had just put the children to bed for a while when Zhao Ming came in and said, ''Mom has already taken Lin Meng into the house to rest. There's not enough room tonight, so I'll sleep with dad, and you can squeeze in with the kids in this room."
"Okay, then I'll go to our house to wash up first." I said and was about to pull the door open and go out when Zhao Ming hugged me from behind, hugging me tightly.
"What's wrong?" I asked gently as I responded to his hug.
"Xue, I watched Lin Meng grieve like this, and I felt like you were being bullied. So heartbroken. Little Snow, I will never let you be sad like this, I can't let go."
I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him softly and said, "Mmm, I know. I can't let you be sad either."
After that, for three days in a row, Lin Meng was on the couch with a head of messy hair, staring blankly at the TV, and it's not too much of a stretch to say that she was disheveled. The father was so angry that he wanted to go to Chen Li, but Lin Meng refused to do so, and even forced her to die. The Chinese New Year was a good one, but because of Lin Meng's incident, everyone was a bit sullen.
On the fifth day of the month, Zhao Ming and I had to go back to Guangzhou. Before leaving, I really can't stand to see Lin Meng this self-defeating appearance, hard to pull her up from the sofa to pick up some. The cleaned up Lin Meng, still so good-looking, even looks a lot younger than me.
I pulled her, standing in front of the mirror, let her take a good look at how beautiful she can be, thinking to persuade her to love herself more.
Without waiting for me to say anything, Lin Meng suddenly said, "Lin Xue, I really envy you."
"Hmm?"
"In the past, to be honest, I quite didn't understand why you looked for a man who had almost nothing. It's love when a rich man loves you, and it's love when a man with no money loves you, but a rich man must be able to bring you more things, including happiness. That's what I thought at the time. So, I quite dislike Zhao Ming as a person. I didn't think he was good enough for you. At that time, Chen Li ah, baby baby calling me, soaking me in the honey pot every day, think about it is really happy, so happy that I look down on your happiness."
"Mengmeng, in fact ......"
"No, you do not interrupt me, you listen to me. When I used to go to Guangzhou to look for you to play, I often saw that you were tired as hell, and the food and clothes and accommodation were not good. I just want to say you are too stupid. Why do women bother? So tired of what? Why don't you find a rich and loving husband? Lin Xue, I realize now that maybe it's not. I never had the respect of Chen Li's family, and his mother and I didn't get along. After I moved out, I thought my life would be carefree, but it wasn't at all. His mom was always his mom, and I wasn't always his wife. Do you think I was just sad that he wasn't there for me and didn't love me anymore? No, it's not that he doesn't love me anymore, he's simply used to spending his time, and I'm just one of his women."
"Dream, you're different, at least you're the one he married."
"Lin Xue, you don't understand. My marriage is a joke. I, me, Lin Meng, am a joke too!"
"Mengmeng, calm down for a while and think about how to resolve things between you and Chen Li. There will always be a way."
"Hopefully." Lin Meng wiped the tears off her face, sniffled, and turned to me, "Alright, alright, I'll be fine. You're all leaving, and I haven't accompanied you properly. Let me see you all off today."
That day mom and dad were uneasy about Lin Meng, so they followed us out to see us off to the airport. When it was time to say goodbye, Dad patted Zhao Ming's shoulder, his unspoken wishes written in his eyes.
5.
Less than half a year after Zhao Ming and I returned to Guangzhou, Lin Meng and Chen Li divorced. Lin Meng was in a bad state, and after some discussion with my mom, I decided to bring her to me for a break.
Lin Meng arrived at my place and seemed to be in a much better state than during the New Year, but she was not very energetic. I took her around, and she was not interested.
On one occasion, my husband forgot some important meeting materials at home and needed me to bring them to him. Lin Meng said she wanted to go with me and see our company on the way.
When I arrived at the company, Zhao Ming was already in a meeting, and I had the information sent in. Lin Meng looked around excitedly and said, "Sister, your company looks pretty good, the decoration is beautiful." I laughed and said that I am in the building materials business, how can I decorate the facade in a decent manner.
Lin Meng lived in my home for almost half a month when the mood gradually better, and sometimes naughty with late Zhao Ming complained, said he did not properly accompany us mother and daughter three. Whenever this happened, Zhao Ming smiled in embarrassment.
Every weekend I send my child to piano and dance lessons, and at first I didn't feel comfortable with Lin Meng being home alone, so I would ask her to join me. Then she got in better shape and I went by myself.
One morning in late June, Lin Meng came out of the restroom and worriedly pulled me into the bedroom. In her hand was a pregnancy test.
"Sis, I'm pregnant. What should I do?"
Already a mother of two, I can't tolerate abortion in any way, and in my eyes no matter how long the pregnancy lasts, it's a little life that deserves to be cherished. I took Lin Meng's hand and said, "Keep the baby, you still have us. Although you and Chen Li are divorced, this child is his after all, are you going to tell him?"
"No, I don't want any more contact with him."
In the days that followed, I took Lin Meng to the hospital on time for every maternity checkup. Often times, Zhao Ming was uneasy about the two of us and would accompany us to the hospital. He said that it was better for him to do things like queuing.
During that period of time, I took care of Lin Meng's diet, fearing that she and the baby in her tummy might have a problem. I often touched Lin Meng's belly and said, "Little baby, we are waiting for you to come out, your aunt and I love you so much,"
This is the first time I have ever seen a baby in my life, and it is the first time I have ever seen one in my life.
With Lin Meng's due date approaching, I took advantage of the opportunity to send my daughter to her piano lessons to go to the mall and buy a lot of maternity items.
Walking to the place selling baby clothes, I took out my cell phone and made a video call to Lin Meng, wanting her to choose something too. Just as I was about to hang up, I suddenly heard Zhao Ming's voice, he said, "Meng Meng ah, what's a good name for our baby?"
Before I had time to respond, the other person had already hung up.
Our child? What do you mean our child? By the time I realized what was happening, I was shaking uncontrollably. I told myself over and over again that this was fake, that I had misheard, that this couldn't be true.
I took a long time to calm myself down, sold the clothes that Lin Meng had just chosen, and took a cab back home. I even forgot that I had driven to the mall.
When I got home, Zhao Ming wasn't home, so I looked around and pretended like nothing had happened and asked Lin Meng, "Meng Meng, where's your brother-in-law? Is he not at home?"
"He left not long after you left in the morning, saying he was going to take care of some company business."
That day, Zhao Ming came home late. When I heard the sound of the door opening, I looked at the time and it was already past two o'clock at night. It was the first time since we got married that he came home so late.
He walked gingerly into the bedroom, turned on the bedside lamp and then gingerly went to wash up. I listened to the subtle sounds as if each whisper said, I'm sorry.
When he got into bed, he didn't come over and hug me as usual, he just lay still for a long time. I knew that he wasn't asleep.
"Jo Ming." I called to him softly.
"Uh-huh."
"I made a video call to Lin Meng this afternoon."
As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt the man beside me catch his breath, and along with it, his body seemed to suddenly tense up.
"I heard you." I turned and looked at him, but he didn't look back at me.
"You said Lin Mon's baby, your baby." When I said that, my throat felt like it was blocked by a stone, it was painful and grueling, and tears rolled down my face uncontrollably.
"Zhao Ming, is it true? Is it your child?"
"Snow, I'm sorry." Zhao Ming closed his eyes and shed tears in front of me for the first time.
"Look at me, why are you even afraid to look at me? She's my twin sister ah! What have you done!" I was so full of pain it seemed like I couldn't cry, my mouth was open wide, but I couldn't cry. How I breathed, it felt like the air was being taken away from me, leaving no room for a single moment of reprieve.
The man who said he couldn't bear to see me sad, was it my illusion? This man in front of me, so familiar, yet so strange, how could he be so heartbreaking.
Zhao Ming watched me cry to the point of near total body spasms, and hugged me, circling me firmly in his arms, saying sorry over and over again, his tears constantly falling on my face, hot and hurtful. This infinite tenderness of the embrace, which gave me countless happy memories of the embrace, has become my eternal pain.
It makes me sick to think that there was once another woman in this embrace.
"Zhao Ming, let go of me, I feel sick."
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Zhao Ming let go of me like something had burned him hard.
I got up and looked at Zhao Ming sitting on the bed, he looked so wretched, like me.
I washed my face and went to Lin Meng's room and called her out. The three of us sat on the couch in the living room, neither of us speaking first.
I looked at the two of them and asked, "When did this happen? Why?"
"Sis, don't blame Zhao Ming. It was me, I was the one who climbed into his bed. That weekend, you went to drop Lele off at her hobby class."
"You climbed up, hmmm, you climbed up, he didn't take the initiative can this thing work?"
"He, he thought, it was you. I was wearing your clothes."
I really wanted to stand up and slap Lin Meng hard, but I couldn't do it when I saw her stomach that she was stroking with both hands.
Tears still fell down my face as I asked in a shaky voice, "So what are you going to do?"
"Sis, we ......"
"Shut up! Let him talk!"
Zhao Ming grasped his knees with both hands, his knuckles whitening, after a long time, as long as a century, he spoke, "Xiao Xue, there is a child in Meng Meng's stomach, I ...... I ...... "
Like God pulled on the last light, my world completely blacked out. I stood in the middle of the living room, feeling like the whole world was so far away from me, as if I was the outsider in this family.
I spent the night buying a plane ticket to go home the next day. As I packed my bags, I looked at this incredibly familiar home and my heart was cut to the core.
In the morning, I made breakfast as usual and waited for everyone to get up and eat. The two children ate happily and praised me for being the best mom ever. After breakfast, I told the kids I was going back to Grandma's house to play.
Lele asked, "Mommy, is Daddy going back with us too?"
"Daddy's not going back."
"Where's sister-in-law?"
"Not going back either. Well, come on, let's go get on a plane."
After returning to my parents' house, I told my mom and dad everything. Mom and Dad were so angry that they broke off their relationship with Lin Meng. We never contacted each other again.
I used to think I was a happy woman, with a great career and family, until Lin Meng knocked down all my self-righteousness. Blame me for being careless? Blame Lin Meng for being selfish? Or blame Zhao Ming for being confused? No, no one can be blamed, this world, originally is the world of the weak and the strong. And I, just the loser.