Not long ago, I saw a report that:
Zhengzhou, a 55-year-old moncler jackets extremely partner, are sanitation workers, every day up early in the morning, 5:00 in the morning has begun to work, the recent daughter-in-law to give birth to a child, the old man went home to take care of it, and moncler jackets but more busy than before, a person to do the job of two people, at noon can not be off duty.
In order to save money, he turned his tricycle into a makeshift kitchen and cooked himself some simple food every day.
The old man has three sons, it is strange that three children are not working, usually rely on the old couple's meager wages to receive assistance, every month the old man has not yet been paid, they began to reach out to him for money.
We do not know why the old man's children do not go to find a job, the report did not mention it, but obviously they have a labor force, why do not go to work, is due to physical disability or because of their own ability to find a job is not enough? If there are objective reasons, we think it is excusable, but if so old, but also rely on their parents to survive, gnawing old age at home, can afford to raise their parents for many years?
At the age of doing something but chose to be comfortable, let me can not help but think of, for our children, they are in the future, in the end, should have what kind of ability, in order to survive in this society?
I watched a BBC documentary about baby turtles.
This is the law of life and death in nature. For us, the challenge of survival is always there, and to survive in the complexity of society, we may need to give our children another level of meaning.
In this day and age, parents are inundated with anxiety. In particular, the phrase "do not lose at the starting line", so many parents are full of energy, dragging their children forward, but many of them are following the trend, you have to ask him where he wants to take the child, but few people can say clearly.
Often, it is running, forgetting the way to come, not clear about the essence of education: is to let the child have the ability to survive.
Why? The explanation given by the school is: Life can not take care of themselves.
In his undergraduate studies, his mother took care of all the children's daily life, his mother has always believed that all the things in the world, the only thing that is high . The first time I saw this was when I was a student at the University of California, Berkeley, and I was a student at the University of California, Berkeley.
In this excessive "spoiling" under, Wei Yongkang to 20 years old, eating, dressing, bathing, are inseparable from the mother, is really sad!
A person who lacks the ability to survive, even if he holds a very high diploma, will probably end up with nothing.
A few days ago, the child enrolled in an extracurricular OU class, taking into account that this is a well-known organization, so, on purpose, than the previously announced enrollment time, an hour earlier to.
But what I didn't expect was that the scene had gathered nearly two hundred parents. And the ones at the front of the line are said to have arrived at two or three o'clock in the middle of the night.
In between the queues, many parents chatted with each other around their children's hot issues. One of them, a mom of a 6-year-old, kept sharing how she planned her child's life. I was curious, she organized everything for her child, the child does not rebel?
The mom said, "It's not up to the child to agree or disagree. Nowadays, competition is so fierce, and education resources are so tight that it's too late if we don't help him organize.
It's hard to imagine how such children, who have their lives organized, will be able to survive in the future. They try to condition their children to be what they expect them to be, but very often, this conditioning, for the child's future, rarely ends well.
Either their creativity is extinguished and the child tends to be mediocre, or the child tends to rebel and develops a rebellious mentality.
As a parent, we often have to ask ourselves the question, what kind of skills do we need to raise our children?
If the child is usually neglected, it is very easy for him to become lax, tired and conservative, and fall into a "comfort zone", and over time, it will be lost and helpless.
And to escape from the original "comfort zone", there must be a challenge to the goal, and this goal in the setting, must grasp two keys:
1. challenging
2. clarity
1. challenging
2.
Only based on the above two points, after constructing a framework of knowledge, you will know what knowledge and skills to learn, and can effectively avoid passive learning.
In the book Individual Empowerment: The Hidden Logic of Accelerated Growth in a New Era, the author mentioned the GAP model, which aims to enable individuals to quickly pinpoint gaps and change from passive to active.
So what does this GAP mean?
G: (Goal) Goal-driven: Set a challenging goal for yourself to help you get out of your comfort zone
A: (Accumulating) Active Accumulation: Construct a good framework for your knowledge system, so that it can be more efficiently accumulated.
P: (Practice) Deliberate Practice: Take advantage of the environment to deliberately practice what you've learned
If you don't want your child to go to mediocrity, and you want to get him out of that state and into active growth, then try the GAP model. GAP model.
Remember that every child is an individual, respect their own choices. The ability to survive is not only about self-care and resistance, but also about the ability to adapt to society and the ability to be flexible, sometimes even relying on one's own wisdom and judgment, to get out of the way from where there is no way out.
Times are different, societies are different, and so are the requirements for social survivability. In today's era, cultivating children's ability to think on their own and character insights is better than forcing them to be a schoolmaster who reads dead books and dies reading.
The following 3 points can be grasped:
Firstly, create the right environment for the child
The first is to create the right environment for the child.
The Japanese management guru, Kenichi Ohmae, found that his two sons, neither of them were very enthusiastic about their studies, but he did not force them to study, he always emphasized that education is not a conditioning, and advocated that the children start from their own interests, to understand why he would be interested in that, and what is the reason or motivation for doing so.
So he set out to create the right environment for his children.
In the end, his oldest son gave up his major in college and started his own business at the age of 20, and is now the proprietor of a web-based consulting firm;
and his youngest son, who was addicted to video games as a child, is now the director of a gaming company, and eventually started his own business out of his own world.
Despite the ups and downs of their academic careers, they eventually gained a firm foothold because they all possessed the "power of survival". This heartfelt love gives them more passion to create a life and more opportunities to grow through trial and error.
So, knowledge is not the only thing, but the ability to think on their own, to make judgments, to socialize, and to learn throughout their lives are all soft skills that will build their future survival.
As a parent, we should give our children the love and strength they need to survive in the world.
Secondly, don't spoil your children, be strict with them
Every parent loves their children, no doubt about it. However, there are many ways to love, and the most important one is to spoil the child. This kind of love not only can not let the child advance, but also let the child into the honeypot, on their own and society to lose judgment.
Pampered children, after embarking on a social, survival ability is very poor, parents improper education will also make the child's character problems.
The Jews are recognized, the education of their children is more important to the people, after the birth of the child, there is a rabbi told them, "the child is their **** with the product, you can not just raise him, cultivate and educate him, is your most important responsibility."
So, as a parent, to educate your child, you need to be appropriately "hard" on your child.
A parent with strong educational goals and objectives, they love their children, just like Yu Dan's father, he understands that the child must have certain requirements in order to excel, which is not only responsible for the child, but also responsible for himself.
Maybe in the process of "ruthless", will bring some pain to the child, but this is necessary, unavoidable, since it is unavoidable, it would be better to play this kind of ruthlessness to the "extreme" to help the child grow up better, so that the child can find a trace of this inevitable strictness in the child. The only way to make this work is to make it work for your child, so that he or she can find a little bit of joy in the inevitable strictness.
Third, develop your child's capacity for lifelong learning
Requiring your child to learn constantly is essential to his or her life, and it's really important for a person to be able to take the smallest of things and situations and turn them into breakthroughs in thinking and behavior. If you think of the whole of life as a school, then every experience in life is a lesson.
This experience, too, is divided into 2 parts:
1) The helpful part
2) The unhelpful part
Beneficial here means that it moves you forward, makes you more confident and comfortable, while unprofitable means that it causes you to struggle and belittle yourself.
By recognizing these two aspects of each experience, you can consciously maximize the helpful parts and bypass or eliminate the unhelpful parts.
Lifelong learning is the realization of human potential through an ongoing support process that motivates and empowers people to acquire the knowledge, values, skills, etc. they need.
I once read about a behavioral learning approach, which is based on the idea that what goes into a mindset goes into a behavior. This behavioral learning approach puts the learning atmosphere at three levels:
First, knowledge transfer, that is, transferring one's knowledge to others.
Second, the training of skills, such as presentation skills;
Third, the training of mindset, such as expanding the concept of reaching the goal of realization.
This means that parents should tell their children what they know, train them in various skills, and develop a good mindset.
In summary, the most important task for parents is to give their children enough love and strength to make them more adaptable to the world's survival, and to see them off without fear, because it is more important than anything else to give them the skills to survive in this society.