In fact, in-laws and in-laws are two relative concepts, not absolute. Taking women as a reference, the family she wants to marry is called in-laws, and her side is called in-laws.
What do you mean by in-laws are as big as the sky? In the past feudal society, women had no status, and the idea that men were superior to women was serious in society. If the man proposes on his own initiative, his family will be virtuous in the last life.
The man's family is coming, and the family must greet him grandly. Loess mats, clean water to wash the house, and the back of the front hall are neatly placed, all of which are clean, just like welcoming the emperor. When the man's house comes, put out the fruit snacks, melons, pears and peaches, and then sit there respectfully and listen to the man's house.
When the man came to propose, he prepared all the matters, from proposing to getting married, from banquet to bride price, and presented them to the woman's home one by one. The woman's family only listens and does not object. If you really feel that some conditions are harsh, you can boldly raise them. Agree or disagree with the amendment depends on the face of the man's family.
This is the husband's family as big as the sky. Because women's status was extremely low in the past, women could not support themselves and had to rely on men, so men had great choices. If you don't want to come, naturally someone will, and you are willing to stay married. We have no problem with that. Women have no choice but to be wronged.
Compared with in-laws, in-laws are worthless. In-laws come to visit for two reasons. First, the daughter made a mistake and needed an apology from an adult. Second, the family did encounter difficulties and needed the help of her husband's family. In-laws don't have good tea and wine, and they don't even have a seat. Just stand in the hall and say something, and then leave quickly.
In-laws should not speak loudly or respectfully. It depends on the face of the husband's family. If it is better, they will help you because of the daughter-in-law's face. Remember, your husband's family will be fine all his life. If you are not good, find a reason to say that you can't do it, and your in-laws will have to leave in disgrace. You can't lose your temper, let alone hold a grudge.
Because my daughter is in someone else's house, if her husband's family is unhappy, give her little shoes to wear, and her daughter will not live in the future. Poor thing! This is the status quo of the old countryside, but it has become the past. Now, the situation is completely reversed. Now families with girls are starting to be masters of their own affairs, and there is room for choice, because there are more men than women in the whole society.
There are more boys and fewer girls, and the woman's family has more choices, and the woman's family is rude to her husband's family. As many as the bride price, the house and car are ready. You shouldn't even go in the door without these basic things. Let's talk about it when you are ready. Once her daughter married that man, she is really finished now. She doesn't do housework, takes no children, and enjoys life at home like a queen every day.
Men have to do housework to make money, which many rural elderly people don't understand. What's going on now? Why does her husband's family, who should have been arrogant, now bow her head? In fact, this is all my own sin. Who wants them to have a son wholeheartedly at the beginning, resulting in tens of millions more boys than girls, greatly reducing their choices?
In the past, men were superior to women and it was easy to get married. The rich can marry three wives and four concubines, which is extremely unequal between men and women and also causes inequality in Xu Xilian area. When a woman marries a man's family, it is called her husband's family. In-laws (mainly in-laws) come to her house as guests and guests, just like heaven. What is this? The ethics, customs and habits of men being superior to women, men being superior to women and men being superior to women are at work. Instead of being kind to her in-laws, her parents treated the important events of the day with respect, fearing that her daughter would be looked down upon, held her head up and abused in her in-laws' house. Therefore, the habit of "the husband's family is as big as the sky" has been formed.
But the wind and water turn, thirty years east, thirty years west. Nowadays, equality between men and women is emphasized. There are more men than women, so it is not easy to get a wife. There are many men and few women, and things are rare, and men are cheap and women are expensive. The man's parents went to visit the woman's in-laws, which was worthless and teased, while the woman's parents were as big as the sky and as expensive as the prince. Men and women in-laws are different. Due to different times and changing situations, nobles are also translocated. If the woman's parents don't treat her well after they arrive, and they are afraid of neglecting their marriage, it will be a big loss. Therefore, nowadays, it has become a big day for women's parents and relatives to visit. Both men and women in-laws have changed.
Haha, rural proverbs have good customs and habits, which hide a lot of philosophy of life. They are broad and profound. With the changes of the times, some proverbs can no longer adapt to today's society, but if we carefully taste them, the mystery is really unfathomable.
What does it mean that "in-laws' visits are as big as the sky, and in-laws' visits are worthless"?
My husband's house is as big as the sky.
In the feudal society of the past, my mother-in-law was the empress dowager, so I couldn't offend her. Women's so-called three obedience and four virtues, moral etiquette, follow their parents at home, get married and become husbands, and their daughter-in-law becomes a woman in ten years. After marriage, the husband's family is also the daughter's family. It's my daughter-in-law's pleasure. We can't wait. First, the daughter is guarded by her mother-in-law at her husband's house. Second, if the daughter is not in place, I still hope that my mother-in-law can cover the sky and master the past. The married daughter, the spilled water and the harmony and happiness of life are inseparable from her husband's family.
In-laws' homes are as big as the sky, which used to work. Now, mother-in-law is worthless, daughter-in-law is heaven, and mother-in-law is earth. If you don't forget your mother, you will be fine. Respect for the elderly and love for the young cannot be lost in social reform, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also the key to family and everything. Many mother-in-law are extremely sighing! For the sake of my son's happiness, I am willing to be a cow and a horse, no matter whether she is in the sky or in the earth. This requires family harmony, turning a blind eye and pretending to be deaf and dumb, all for this family.
In-laws' visits are worthless
As the saying goes, "When in-laws come to your house, they think about money or people". In-laws marry two children and two families. People often say, "I made a kiss and changed my heart." Not a family, not a house. One family doesn't say two, but the in-laws have no blood relationship since ancient times. In-laws' visit is not worth a penny. It's best to keep a certain distance from your in-laws, and don't always come to the door to embarrass your children, which will also make people look down on you. Etiquette pays attention to your coming and going, and people don't like you. Why stick your hot face on someone else's cold ass? As long as the children are happy, there is no need to worry about luxury.
Many people say that "mother-in-law's visit is as big as the sky, and in-laws' visit is worthless." The meaning is reversed. The author thinks that there is nothing against it, and everyone who respects others respects it. Mother-in-law is also the mother of daughter-in-law. Thanking her mother-in-law paves the way for her daughter's happiness. In-laws' visits are worthless, and children and grandchildren have their own eternal blessings. Fuck luxury, and go to the Sanbaotang for everything. You come and go, and your in-laws are affectionate. People are lukewarm to you, why should they smile at you? Is it really worthless? What is a child's face like?
This proverb is a fabrication and has no meaning.
What is the purpose of my mother-in-law's visit? But in any case, most of them go to their daughter-in-law's house to ask for help or talk about things, and sometimes they humble themselves. How can they be associated with as big as the sky?
In-laws' visits to their daughters' homes are worthless, on the contrary. Such relatives are all guests of the son-in-law's daughter's family, and the son-in-law's family dare not neglect them at all. Not only is the hospitality standard high, but you also need to find someone who has a head.
So this proverb makes no sense.
You are wrong. That is, the in-laws are as big as the sky, and the in-laws are worthless. That's what we say here. Because the daughter-in-law family came, her mother-in-law was busy making a big table, but several mother-in-laws went to her in-laws for dinner. Of course, this situation has changed now. Most in-laws are fine now. It doesn't matter if you go to my house and I go to yours.
I don't know much, and I haven't heard this proverb. Why do you have to come to my husband's house for such a big thing? They are all parents of their children. Respect each other, agree to be relatives, not strangers. What can the in-laws do on the wedding day? Can keep the roof from leaking? Or can we give the bride a shower to make her parents feel safe? It's no use. Where is it like the sky? Is there a heart of heaven? Everything is born, everything is nurtured by heaven, and only a mind with heaven can respect you. It's not as big as you think, it's just arrogance.
At first glance, this proverb is a bit inconsistent. Don't "in-laws" and "in-laws" mean the same thing?
The so-called "in-laws" are the mutual names of the parents of two children. Men call each other "in-laws" and women call each other "in-laws".
In order to distinguish the word "in-laws", this proverb uses the terms "in-laws" and "in-laws".
As the saying goes, "in-laws" refer to in-laws who have married their daughters, and parents should warmly entertain them.
"As big as the sky" means that the woman's parents attach great importance to this matter.
Is it just hospitality?
As we all know, daughters become family members after marriage. In the past, women followed the traditional concept of "three obedience and four virtues", that is, "a girl follows her father when she is young, her husband after marriage, and her husband follows her son when she dies".
"Marry a daughter and splash water" has a certain position in order to make her angry with her in-laws. When in-laws visit, their parents naturally warmly welcome them. It can also be seen as helping the daughter improve her position in her in-laws, and people who respect others also respect themselves.
If the parents of the daughter-in-law visit, the other party and the parents of the man also belong to the in-laws relationship. At this time, the man's parents do not welcome each other, that is, "it is worthless to visit." Why is this?
There are several reasons: first, warmly entertaining each other has invisibly improved the daughter-in-law's position at home.
In ancient times, the daughter-in-law had no status, and her in-laws had the final say, which was a little different from now.
Now parents-in-law are coaxing their children's daughter-in-law, who has a high status in the family.
In the past, it wasn't. In ancient times, this trend was suppressed. The ancients paid attention to "Jun Jun, ministers, father and son", that is, the old and the young. Based on this idea, the man's parents will be indifferent to his in-laws and show off to his daughter-in-law.
The second is that it is not good for in-laws to come to the door, either asking for things for their daughters or scolding their sons-in-law.
Can the head of the family tolerate his in-laws getting their hands on his family? Your daughter is married and listens to her husband's family. It's not up to you two to lecture me.
At this time, when in-laws visit, it is considered as an infringement of the power and authority of the host family, and it can also be regarded as the meaning of "two tigers are not allowed in one mountain". Both sides want to show their strength, and the man's parents show disdain and try to maintain their own strength, at least to maintain an absolute advantage in momentum.
Therefore, people rarely see such in-laws.
However, with the development of society, equality between men and women has changed all this. New interpersonal relationships have replaced outdated concepts, and both parents will treat each other equally.
I don't know the rest. Anyway, my in-laws and my mother often eat and drink together and talk about everything. We get along very well. I wonder if you pay as much attention as I do.
Text/candle reading spring and autumn
These are all thoughts of the past.
In ancient times, women's status was very low. Therefore, there is a saying of "little daughter-in-law". Under normal circumstances, the daughter-in-law in ancient times needed to greet her in-laws every day and take good care of her husband. If any "ceremony" is not done, it will be reprimanded by in-laws or husbands; In the worst case, you may be beaten. Therefore, in ancient times, it was very difficult to be a daughter-in-law.
Because of this, the parents of daughter-in-law "accompany carefully" everywhere in order to avoid "unfair treatment" of their daughter-in-law's family, for fear of angering their daughter's in-laws, thus making their in-laws angry with their daughter and making her suffer indignities.
However, as an in-law, if you go to your daughter-in-law's house, you will be highly respected, and the daughter-in-law's house will not expect anything. Otherwise, your daughter may become a "punching bag" or "scapegoat" and suffer unfair treatment. In fact, that's what this proverb means.
However, this proverb has basically lost its meaning in modern society. Because women's status has improved now, most of them have become the "highest status" "masters" in the family. Basically, in-laws and husbands are "cautious" every day, so there is no such thing as "cautious".
However, Khufu believes that the idea of equality between people should be respected. The status of men in the family should be properly improved, and the "big man" should not be turned into a "little man" at once, so that the in-laws can "lift their heads" in front of their daughters-in-law.
Speaking of which, some ladies may be unhappy. In fact, if you can get through it, there is nothing unhappy. Because you will become a mother-in-law one day, and you don't want to be a "passive Nuo Nuo" in front of your daughter-in-law, so be cautious. Therefore, as a daughter-in-law today, you should set a good example for your children, strive to improve the status of your in-laws and husbands in the family, and prevent your children from learning your "bad habits", thus laying a "curse" for your future.
All right! That's all! In a word, this rural proverb is "past tense" rather than "present tense", which is an outdated concept. So, don't talk about this proverb again, so as not to give people an outdated impression.
There is a saying in the countryside that "the in-laws are as big as the sky, and the in-laws are worthless." What does this mean? It seems that this proverb is backwards? The popular saying here is that "in-laws' visits are as big as the sky, and in-laws' visits are worthless." This means that in-laws' visits are grand for them, but what they want from them is naturally worthless.
But on the whole, this sentence left by our ancestors is profound, and it is existence that makes sense. And the above proverb "in-laws' family is as big as the sky, and in-laws' family is worthless" is naturally left by ancestors and naturally has his reason. Therefore, this proverb is not contradictory, but only applicable to ancient feudal society, and it is also a custom that has been followed for thousands of years. As for how to explain this proverb, let me introduce it in detail:
First of all, understand the meaning of the rural proverb "The husband's family is as big as the sky, and the in-laws are worthless". This proverb is also easy to explain, and it is also a proverb left by ancient ancestors. The ancient ancients advocated that "the monarch is the minister, the father is the son, and the husband is the wife." Especially in the "husband is wife program" here, the husband has to specify rules for his wife, and the wife is not allowed to do this, let alone that. One door must be kept closed and the second door closed.
Therefore, in ancient times, there was great inequality between men and women. In the ancient society of "men are superior to women", a good wife is only a husband and children. But can this wife enjoy happiness when she marries her husband's family? No, it's not!
In ancient times, it was no problem for a wife to meet a husband who loved her. If she meets a bad-tempered husband and a feudal dogmatic mother-in-law, then the wife will naturally have a hard time in the future. As the saying goes, "a daughter-in-law who has been married for many years will become a woman", so it is naturally.
Therefore, in ancient feudal society, the meaning of the sentence "in-laws' visits are as big as the sky, and in-laws' visits are worthless" is naturally clear, meaning:
Usually, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law naturally don't come and go. If they come and go, something will happen. Even if it is the mother-in-law's fault, they think it is the daughter-in-law's fault, because this is the concept of ancient feudal society.
The meaning of "my husband's family is as big as the sky";
As the saying goes, everything goes to Sanbaotang, and when in-laws come to see them, they naturally have something important to deal with, not to make peace, but to find fault. For example, this daughter-in-law did something wrong in her husband's family, didn't serve the man well, didn't keep the woman's way, and so on. Anyway, this husband's family is a reasonable person.
At this time, my in-laws welcomed her husband's family with both hands, but they were still a little uneasy. They are afraid that if their daughter does something out of line, it will make her family lose face, especially if her husband's family has put away the books, which will make her family look very embarrassed. Therefore, in-laws should not only entertain them with good wine and good food, but also listen to their opinions from time to time. It is precisely because of this that they have the saying that "in-laws are as big as the sky"!
The meaning of "in-laws' visit is worthless";
Similarly, in ancient times, the status of the bride's family was very low, regardless of whether she had money or not. Moreover, in-laws like in-laws have important things to deal with when they visit. For example, what kind of disaster this daughter has caused in her husband's family, she is not worried about her family.
Although these things are trivial, under the thought of feudal society, this daughter made a mistake and treated them as major events, because only in this way could the bondage of ancient husbands to women be well founded. Therefore, when my in-laws come to her in-laws home, they want something from her in-laws besides apologizing. They have accepted some common sayings that "in-laws' home visits are worthless". The fundamental reason is the feudal system of "men are superior to women".
So the rural proverb: "My husband's family is as big as the sky, and his in-laws are worthless" is applicable to modern times: I think, at the beginning, I have said that this proverb has become "my in-laws are as big as the sky and their in-laws are worthless" when used in modern times. This is contrary to the original statement. The two parents-in-law naturally changed their positions on this issue, just like "30 years in the East and 30 years in the West": when the parents-in-law went to her husband's house, it was like finding fault and always being aggressive with her husband's family. When the in-laws go to their in-laws' homes, there is a steady stream of big gifts and small gifts, and they always humbly ask their sons to apologize to their daughters-in-law. Even if the daughter-in-law does something wrong, it is right in her husband's family's mouth. The son is also like a puppet. When he enters his mother-in-law's house, he will be criticized in addition to pleading.
There is also a reason for this: due to some special circumstances, many men's bride price has changed from "one in a million" to "immobile", but this bride price will still rise. Who can make women hold up half the sky now? Therefore, the old saying that "in-laws' visits are as big as the sky, and in-laws' visits are worthless" is naturally not applicable now.
To sum up, some proverbs can be applied in ancient times, but they are naturally not practical in modern times. Just as the saying goes, "The husband's family is as big as the sky, and the in-laws are worthless", if copied today, it is estimated that the man will be beaten if he does not have great financial resources. Therefore, although some proverbs are reasonable, they are not suitable for modern development.
The water poured out by the married daughter, your husband's family pays a high price to marry you back, and you become his husband's family. Before she got married, her husband's family sent money to her house, and naturally she was greeted with smiles. The woman's family wants money, which is naturally not very welcome. Is that what you mean?