2. "Teacher, this egg you really have to accept, but also fresh, our family own birth ......" teacher giant sweat!
3. In high school, the whole school must wear uniforms, there is a repeat student never wear. The teacher in charge of this area every day squatting at the door to check. One day, the teacher saw this student did not wear a school uniform, asked why he did not wear, this student was furious, said: my mother is not dead, why do I have to wear mourning clothes?
4. High school will soon be the time of the examination, one day on the geography class, the teacher reported a place name on the top, let us answer the local minerals below. Said a lot of places, the teacher suddenly asked: "Jiangnan produce what?" The whole class of boys answered in unison: "Jiangnan produces beautiful women!"
5. In junior high school, a biology teacher talked about the ecology of the African grasslands, no one in the class listened to the speech, then angry, said: "You all look at me! You do not look at me, how to know what the African wildcat looks like ah!"
6. In a high math class, the teacher asked my brother, "Calculus is a very useful subject, learning calculus, our goal is?" The dude was deserting, so without thinking he said loudly, "No cavities!" The class burst out laughing.
7. Senior, geometry teacher is an old woman, love to boast, especially annoying. One day in class, said: "I am in the city education bureau are very valued, they always ask me to go together to study the problem, every time is a car to send." I inadvertently asked: "three wheels?" As a result, was banned from geometry class for a week from then on.
8. In the past, the first sentence back to the dormitory always asked: "Is there anyone looking for a phone to call me ah ...? "
The high school language teacher said in class, "You're dead cats running into blind mice!"
9. Once in a hurry, I wanted to say the truth, but ended up saying "the elephant is really white"
10. One day to eat, waited for a long time, impatient, called: "rice, my lady how come not yet come, hurry up! "
11. One day and a few friends wandering in the street, a friend called out "look, beauty", another friend looked at the disdainful said "what good-looking, they are already two mom's children! "(The original meaning is two children's mother)
12. The table things fell to the ground, bend down to pick up, I use my foot to step on it, unexpectedly stepped on its hand. The first thing I did was to get my foot on the ground, and then I stepped on the hand.
13. Roommate long wanted to sell the old books and newspapers, one day suddenly sighed to: "collect the old man's rags how to not come ah."
14. Tiger does not send a cat, you when I was critically ill ah!
15. and mm in the sale of soybean milk before the stall, I shouted: "boss, want a soybean milk." The first thing I did was to get the money to pay for it.
16. I have a "Sun" colleagues one day to answer the phone, the other asked: your name. Answer: I your Sun
17. We have to thank the bacteria microorganisms, if not for them, the earth will be covered by the previous corpses, you 100 generations of the ancestors of the look is still vivid.
18. When we Chinese were still savages, we were active in the Yellow River Valley. That's why some people say that no wonder we are yellow, we are the ones who ran away from the Yellow River Valley.
19. The fossils unearthed from the center to the sides of the slope will become newer and newer, and the fossils of your ancestors will even be unearthed in this area on the far side.
20.These two lousy diagrams on the test paper ...... prove the regression of Chinese printing.
21. The windy climate of Asia, you remember the three chickens: hot chicken (hot season), pheasant (pronounced "sub-season" in the vernacular), the plague chicken (warm season)
22. I found out that there is a woman in my class who, no matter what I say, looks on at everything with the attitude of a Martian, note that I am talking about the knowledge of the solar system. I'm talking about knowledge of the solar system, you Martians have something to do with it too.
23. A saleswoman was trying to sell a pack of coffee beans to a customer, and she wanted to say "Mannings", but due to a slip of the tongue, she said "A pack of Ultraman".
24. Once on the street, I saw a woman, is training children: you know what? Knowing that rice is good to pull, shit is good to eat!
25. A unit of leadership speech: this year's May Day holiday our unit unified arrangement club body situation is as follows: "the first day of the morning male comrades bathing, lesbians visit. Afternoon lesbian bath, male comrades visit. The remaining two days of your free activities."
26. I remember once and friends to KFC, queuing up when I read in my mouth, a chicken leg hamburger, a pair of chicken wings ----- well not easy to my turn, would have liked to say "Miss, to a chicken leg hamburger", but the words to the mouth actually became "small legs, to a hamburger! ----" The whole audience laughed.
27. My friend told me that KFC has come out with a new "Bone and Flesh" and asked me to treat her to it. It was a hot day when I arrived at the restaurant in a daze, and I smiled at the KFC lady and said, "Please give me two ＼ ＼ flesh and blood / thank you!" No place to go.
28. When boarding an airplane for the first time, the stewardess greeted me at the door of the cabin, and when she saw me coming in with my ticket, she asked, "May I ask which seat you are in?" I answered, "I'm in the Horizontal seat, and you?" The flight attendant replied, "I'm a Scorpio, I was asking which seat you are in."
29. The other day I wanted to drink a soda, the boss of the cold drink stand wanted to say to come to a bottle of soda, but unexpectedly saw the beer placed in front of me, and I was so anxious that I said, "Boss, every come to a bottle of fart water."
30. A kid hated the older kid who often bullied him, and was so angry that he wanted to say 'revenge' on him, but he also wanted to say 'settle the score', so he said in a hurry, "I don't know what to say," he said. I'm sure I'll have to go to him to 'settle the score'!"
31. The class teacher held a pen in her hand: "May I ask whose owner this is?". --- Could it be that someone's owner is a pen?
32. The language teacher said, "Everyone must put it to use while wasting time."
33. The math teacher traced the negative sign heavily with red chalk and then said, "Everyone must not forget to throw away this negative sign." --- Negative sign or not?
34.Physics teacher: "For example, if the sun is traveling through the moon, the reference is ......"
35.Class teacher: "How do you grow your eyes, you can't even see this? " --- Who has long eyes on his face?
36. Chemistry teacher: "This question was once a test question in the year 2000." --- 200,000 years?
37. Language teacher: "Students who got this question wrong go home and look in the mirror to see if the person in the mirror has eyes."
38. English teacher: "Find out the key requirements of this question and draw me down." --- Teacher your appearance is really difficult to depict which.
39. Parents' meeting. Class teacher: "I have a sister, my sister is younger than me." --- Of course the sister is younger than you, that's the truth.
40.Mr. Huang was walking towards the station with his son, when he saw a No. 8 bus pulling into the bus stop in the distance, and immediately shouted to his son beside him, "Huang Jun, run, No. 8 is coming!"
41. Reporter: "Are you happy?" The farmer looked at the reporter a few times, said innocently, "My surname is Wang"
42. When I was a child, I went to the bookstore, and the light was quite dark that day. Then I heard a child toward the counter inside the crisply shouted: auntie, I want that book to kill the myth of the pig. I was so shocked that I looked towards the aunt, who looked blankly at the child's finger as she searched the shelves. Finally, we both saw the book of Greek myths.
43. General Li Zongren said: I, for one, have benevolence! General Fu Zuoyi said: I, this person, have righteousness! General Zuoquan said: I, this person, have power! General Huo Zuoyi said: You guys talk, I'll go first!
44. A math teacher lectured on the transformation of equations, on the podium, sleeves rolled up and shouted: students attention! I'm going to transform! ......
45. A student in the lower part of the mess, the teacher said: "You give me to stand on top of the blackboard to go!!!" Highly difficult ah.
46.Teachers talk about the topic like to use the plunge which ...... "my bottom radius is 20CM, my height is 50CM, then I ......" below someone said "is a rice bucket ......" the class burst into laughter ...... 47.We stipulate that when the flag is raised to wear school uniforms, as a result, there are always some people who do not wear school uniforms or single only wear pants or clothes. Then every time before the flag-raising principal is holding a megaphone there to say: "Some students do not wear clothes, some students do not wear pants, some simply clothes pants do not wear"
48. Once, asked his father where the broomstick Dad (pondering for a moment): "Inside the outside of the kitchen Toilet."
49. Downstairs in a mental hospital, there was always an old woman squatting there holding an umbrella. Finally, one day, a nurse went to ask her what she was doing, only to have the granny look grave and say: "Shhh, I'm a mushroom."
50.The ronin said, "People call me a ronin, nice!" The samurai said, "People call me Wu Ren, also good!" The Highlander said, "People call me the Highlander, and that's nice too!" The swordsman said, "You guys talk, I'll go first!"
51.Your kind of people are hard to tolerate in heaven and geography
52.The students who deserted the class, strive for the error within 8 seconds.
53. Me: Welcome to KFC, what do you need to order? Customer: May I ask how to get to the nearby McDonald's?
54. One person scolded another: "I really want to spit a shit in your face!"
55. A few of our middle school classmates were out riding their bikes one time, and one of them kicked another fatter classmate in the foot while trying to scold him, saying, "I'm sticking out a pig's hoof, and I'm going to fly up and kick him in the face...".
56. My class has a student often write misspelled words, once wrote an article in which a paragraph is as follows: Today I saw a pile of cow shit on the road, ah, I ate a catty (shock). Later, the teacher commented: and no one stops you eat all of it is okay ah.