How to become an idol in the minds of children
How to become an idol in the minds of children, the child's psychological growth of the road parents can not be absent, the baby's intellectual development is very important, problem solving, ability to develop, is the development of many children's goals, all parents must grasp the time. Here to share with you how to become the children's idol.
How to become an idol in the minds of children 1Want to be a good mom first learn to own your life
There may be people who do not understand this sentence, that for the education of the child, of course, is to always pay attention to the child, and this is basically everything in their own life after having a child. "Having your own life", is it about selfishly enjoying your own life and not caring about your child's free-range parenting? It is not.
A common problem among fellow women is that being a mom puts almost all of their focus on their kids, so much so that everything has to give way to the kids and over-amplify their identity as a mom. We need to know that the identity of a mom is not meant to make you lose your whole life into it, to be an accessory or a victim of caring for and educating your child, but to allow you to maintain the premise of educating your child to still have your own life, and to give your child a good home ecological environment.
However, the common problem is that women who are mothers, from the moment they have a child, almost focus their limited time on the child, which will gradually make women form the meaning of life and happiness are from the child, the result of this one will make themselves lose their original life and rhythm, but also give their children produce their own over-importance of the feeling, but rather The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you're doing and how you're doing it, and how you're doing it.
If we lose our own lives in exchange for a perfect child, it's worth it. But now all kinds of "beast", "bear child" performance, and a lot of "giant baby", "mom's treasure". The fact is that this is not a good idea, but it is a good idea to make sure that you have a good idea of what you want to do with your life.
An Angel or a Terminator
Is your life really going to end with the birth of your child? Is your child your "angel" or your "end"? Maybe you will say, when the child is older, you can have time to go to the garden life, you will have time to fulfill your childhood dream, you can go to travel the world ......
But we see more results is that you can never wait for the day when the child is older. The reason for this is that you will always feel that your child needs your endless attention, and you will be able to enter into a state of "infinite cycle of one hundred years".
Even if the child really understand, his family does not need you to take care of the time, you will fall into the loss, loneliness, emptiness, because you have been accustomed to put their own power to the child, and when the child no longer need you the moment, you can not adapt to, and can not be quickly extracted from the state of this.
At this point, then look at their own has reached the age of no heart, physical strength to travel the world, can accompany you only the music of the square dance, and a group of old men and women whispering to each other, or a variety of pharmaceuticals and health care products to attack the sound of your life in this way in the unknowingly consumed.
At this time we may sigh, that in our mouth every day chanting the little cute, a flash of time has become the master of someone else's home, and we are no longer a member of his family.
Become your own work, live the way your child wants to be
Imagine you live a life of daily hustle and bustle and disorganization for the mortgage, the car loan, cooking, working, and cleaning up the house, often possessed by worries, bills, anxiety, tedium, anger, and worry, would a child of such a life want to repeat it? Would they recognize a life like yours as the path he should take? Would they worry about growing up to follow such a path themselves? If even your children don't like your life, much less want to be like their parents, how are we going to fulfill our children's lives?
The child is our responsibility as parents, naturally we have to do our best. But we can not use "brute force", but to learn to use "skill". This "skill" is to let the child see a rich and exciting life of parents, so that children aspire to, and through their own efforts to follow.
Become your own work, and live a life that your child envies. Let the child know that the mother's life is a positive mindset, aspire to a beautiful, full, rich and colorful life, so that the child in the heart of the seed planted "I also want to live as a mother", "live their own quality of life".
This will lead the child, not push the child behind. When you become an idolized figure in the mind of the child, the road to educate the child will be easier and smoother, it will be the attraction of a self-magnet, a path for the child's independent development.
My two daughters often express to me that they want to grow up to be like their mom, and that it's all right to copy them exactly. They say they don't see anxiety, tedium, or boredom in their mom. They've known their mom for more than 10 years, and they haven't seen her angry, panicked, or complaining, and even when the economy is bad or an epidemic occurs, she doesn't look scared, she's still at peace with what she's doing, and she's always comfortable and graceful in the face of everything, and she still brings joy to them every day.
At least from their words, I can hear that the children envy my current state of life, and hope that they can grow up to have a similar life, so they are always observing what I do, and the two little ones imitate.
Raindrops often see me reading, so they come over to look at the books I'm reading, and then they become the books she's reading; Feathers often see me practicing calligraphy, so they come over to write a few words, and then they have some foundation, and the three of us often go to the canvas together to paint, and to find something interesting to do together.
Keep it interesting and live a life of envy
Women need to make their lives interesting, so that not only can they make their own lives exciting, but also can infect the people around them.
My favorite female writer San Mao is an interesting woman in my opinion. At her wedding, there were no flowers, she stuck a bunch of parsley in her hat. In the desert days SANMao's fun infected all the people around her, she used her hobby - is to pick up garbage (she in elementary school proposition essay "my ideal" in the expression of their own to be a rag collector, but also be criticized by the teacher to rewrite), in the desert, she realized her own childhood in the desert. In the desert, she realized her childhood dream of picking up garbage to furnish her home, and she made the boring and monotonous desert life colorful. She was able to capture the beauty in the smallest details, forgetting the difficulties of seeking water in the desert and the hardships of life. The bitter days were lived with elegance.
Living an interesting life, does not need to be very rich, or very idle, from their own inner joy to start looking for, from the life of the little to observe, you will find that when you tear open a small mouth in life, the sun will shine in. Normalize your favorite leisure time, and you'll find it's not hard to make a difference.
Don't wait for the 'mentality', women will be in the waiting in the aging, that time aging is not only your face, but also your heart.
Become your own work is a respect for your own life, if you do not know how to respect yourself, how to know how to respect the children, respect for parents, respect for their own half, if you even let yourself down, how can you do not let others down?
With the popular words of the woman to live out in the face of confidence, long in the heart of the kindness, melting into the bones of the strong, hidden in the heart of the insistence. The most important thing is to make your children proud of you, and to become their idol!
How to become an idol in the eyes of the children2I like to read and write in my spare time, I will contribute to the paper media, often there will be sporadic rain "tofu block" in the newspaper, and from time to time will also receive a bill of royalties, so many of the baby moms around me enviously said: "You are great, you can write, the children can certainly be a good thing! The first thing I'd like to do is to get my hands on a new pair of shoes, and then I'd like to get my hands on a new pair of shoes, and then I'd like to get my hands on a new pair of shoes.
Young parents pay more and more attention to their children's education, many mothers are full-time with children, but at the same time, it also breeds a problem, can not realize the financial freedom, so there will be such a confusion:
I do not have the culture, nothing can not understand, and can not earn money, it will only be responsible for the child's day to day meals and living, especially the homework of the children's homework questions now, almost all do not know, the child will think that I am the best. I don't know how to do this, and I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do this, and I don't know how to do this, and I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do this, and I don't know how to do this.
This is the first time I've ever seen a child with a child's face on a computer, and I'm sure a lot of mothers have experienced this. In fact, the child's demand on the mother is not as high as we think.
At that time, I told her a story that happened to me.
Because my second-grade son's writing was so difficult to read, in order to exercise him, I would let him copy a text every day, not only to deepen his memory, but also to practice his writing, both at the same time.
The other day, when my son was copying the text, I found that he had written a punctuation mark "comma", I gave him a hand to make up for it and told him that he could not underestimate a punctuation mark, I did not expect that I was so casually write, my son saw the surprise and said: "Mom, you are good, how to write this how to write? The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you are doing and how you are doing it.
He said that I wrote the "comma" to his sister to see, she saw also issued the same gasp.
At that moment, I was a little proud of myself. Actually, it wasn't that good, haha, but in my kid's eyes, he thought it was great.
Then, they strongly urged me to write about other punctuation marks, and when I did, they followed my template and realized that it wasn't that hard to write well, and in the process, I told them about the importance of punctuation, and they listened.
The next time I wrote my homework, I found that they both paid special attention to this detail, and resolved to write the punctuation.
Because of this punctuation, both my son and daughter thought I was great, and told their grandparents that their mom was their idol.
Yesterday at dinner, my daughter asked me a question out of the blue, "Mom, let's say I'm in a running race and I come in dead last, what would you say to me?"
I didn't even think about it and replied, "It's okay to run slow, just go for it and try harder next time!"
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, my daughter gave me a thumbs up and said with great pride, "Mom, you're so good at teaching kids, my idol!"
I laughed out loud, because it was really funny coming from a child.
The reason my daughter asked me this question is because a girl in her class asked her mom the same question, and her mom's answer was, "Why do you run so slow? Why can other people run so fast and you can't?"
She was a bit upset with her mom's answer and then "complained" to her daughter.
So my daughter was especially happy when she heard my answer, and I didn't let her down.
We should never lose sight of the importance of the silent role in educating children.
Previously, a friend shared her story with me. On Mother's Day, her 12-year-old daughter confessed to her, summarizing several of her virtues and saying that her mother had become her idol, which moved her friend to tears.
The three virtues were:
One, tolerance for children.
Two, never comparing her to other people's children.
Three, gentle and beautiful.
In fact, these three advantages are not very special, and every mother can do, as for the last one, (the son does not mind the mother ugly), in the eyes of the child, the mother is the most beautiful.
Before I saw a text, the text mentioned, the main character of the 5-year-old mom suffered from severe kidney disease, now seems to be not a difficult problem, just in that era, the doctor asserted: the most live 10 years.
Grandma and Grandpa are not well, and soon passed away. All the burdens of the family are handled by the father, who is tired to the bone, but he never complained, and has not been angry at the family, and the father is still doing his job very well, and is often rated as a "model" in the unit.
Now, decades later, mom's body does not know when to recover, just need to take medication often, but almost no different from normal, the family life is very happy. As a child, he felt that his father was simply a superman, his idol.
Dad's state of working hard for his family back then has always influenced him, until as an adult, facing the pressure of life, especially when he encountered something very bad, he would take his own situation and his dad back then to make a comparison to his dad as a role model, and in the end, they all insisted on it.
Dad unintentionally became the child's idol, and dad passed on his will and strength very well to the child.
In fact, it is not so difficult to become a child's idol. Children, their world is very simple, they may never take you and "other people's moms (dads)" to compare, sometimes a small move you may be infected with him, and this influence may be a lifetime.