Working again, right? I have more than once said to you don't work so hard, take care of your body. But you always said meaningfully, "Not to take advantage of the warm weather to roll a few more balls of shit, what do I eat in the winter!!!"
2.
Some things should let you know! Sky, is used to wind and rain; ground, is used to grow flowers and grass; I, is used to prove the greatness of mankind; and you: "is used to stew vermicelli.!"
3.
Don't get drunk again, yesterday you were seen chasing a pig with a glass of wine and screaming, "Is it a brother? Is brother's dry!!!"
4.
I am a lonely tree, thousands of years standing on the side of the road, lonely waiting, just for one day when you walk past me, for you to fall, smashed not flat you even if you live in vain.
5.
If the fall is gone, I will wait for you in the snow; if the world is gone, I will love you in heaven; if I am gone, I will let her take care of you. Really, she's not a bad pig farmer!
6.
I know you are hygienic and wash your hands every time you go to the toilet and wash them carefully. Suddenly once you did not wash, I was very strange: how did not wash your hands? You replied: "This time I brought paper!"
7.
Thinking of you is a very happy thing; seeing you is a very happy thing; loving you is something I will always do; putting you in my heart is something I have been doing; however, lying to you is something that just happened.
8.
I pray to Buddha every day to get a long-lasting blooming roses, wait until nine hundred and ninety-nine when together to give you and emotionally said: "small child, I do not believe that the bees do not sting you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
9.
According to reports: a few days ago, the Ibiza armed forces in Baghdad walls hung up your jade photo, resulting in a large number of U.S. soldiers vomited to death. The United Nations investigation and evidence confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction, you run away.
10.
Couples in Western countries are always getting divorced because their love child is a little baby. Look at China's moon goddess, full of experience, so Chinese couples are more constant in their marriages. Carrot to see customers, respectfully hand over the business card, the customer to see the business card asked: how do you call the ginseng la? The carrot small waist a straighten, "people ha Korean it!"
11.
Today you woke up, lying on the pillow of a mosquito, surrounded by a suicide note: I struggled one night, your cheek so thick that I have no face to live in this world! Lord forgive him! I committed suicide.
12.
You were seen today, charming as ever, in your plaid undershirt, walking slowly, with a look of supreme ease, just adorable, I don't know how you raced rabbits back in the day?
13.
In one year, a man wrote more than 800 love letters to his girlfriend in a row, and as a result, his girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married, and the groom was the letter carrier who delivered these letters to her.
14.
The barber helped the guests to repair the face while chatting, chatting is not paying attention to the guests eyebrows shaved off one side. The barber asked: Do you want to keep your eyebrows? The guest: to stay! Barber: Aiya! How not to say earlier, has shaved one side!
15.
Husband: Honey, I was fired. Just because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage last night after work. But they don't think about it, who dares to steal a tiger!
16.
"Do you know why lately men like to keep long hair like a lady?" "Because, if your lover or wife found long hair on their clothes, he would laugh and say 'It's my hair!'"
17.
You're interning in a psychiatric hospital, and suddenly a psychopath comes after you with a kitchen knife, and you turn your head and run until you get to a dead-end street, thinking it's over, and the patient says, "Here's the knife, it's your turn to chase me!"
18.
A player can't catch a ball. When practicing passing and catching the ball, another player gave him a good pass, fearing that he could not catch the ball, so he shouted "Catch stable", the result was that the ball hit him on the head, only to hear him say "and who?"
19.
When you are alone and empty and lonely, the pencil may be your best plaything. You can cut it, sharpen it, chop it with a pocket knife, and at the same time, you can vent yourself and yell at the top of your lungs, "I'm killing the pencil, I'm killing the pencil, I'm killing the pencil!!!"
20.
The sky is so clear, the sun is so bright, the sea is so boundless, you stand in the azure sea, I took a small stick and stabbed you: "Hey, this little bastard, the shell is quite hard!!!"
21.
On the first day of the obstetrician and gynecologist's practice, his wife asked him, "How is it today? "The doctor said" is not too bad, although the mother and the baby did not save, but finally the baby's father to save life.
22.
That year, the military training under the tree, the instructor said to the students: the first row of the number. You looked at the instructor in surprise, the instructor said loudly again: "Report! So you turned around and hugged the tree with great reluctance! !"
23.
Your voice came from the valley, I looked down and found you at the corner of the mountain, it was you! It was really you! You were with an old man, and I ran over excitedly and said, "Master, lend me your donkey!!!"
24.
The childless watermelon was successfully developed, and frequently participated in a variety of celebrations and presentations, the scenery is infinite. Other watermelon very envious, a watermelon indignation: beauty what ah? There is no next generation.
25.
Camera cell phone war, a camera excited to run: report head, caught a cell phone! Camera head to see, angry: how the undercover agent to catch us here? This is a cell phone that can take pictures!
26.
You know what? I really want to take you out to experience the charm of ktv! You know what ktv is? It's k you a meal, t you a kick, and then I make a v sign at the end yay!
27.
The moment I left, you behind me helplessly crying and heartbreaking pain so that I instantly understand how much I love you, I turned around and cried and hugged you tightly: "I'm not going to sell this pig."
28.
It is said that the arrow has a golden arrow. The first thing you need to do is to learn how to use the silver arrows! Words of martial arts have eighteen 360 strokes, you prefer to learn drunken arrows, so soon the jianghu appeared you: "Drunken silver arrows! !"
29.
The first time I saw you, I felt a kind of long recognized feeling, I have never said so sure words, you may not believe, but it is true, you really look like my family ...... lost that pig!
30.
God said to fulfill one of my wishes, I said I want world peace, he said it was too difficult to change it, I took out your picture and said I want this person to become beautiful, he pondered for a moment and said, "Take the globe I'll take another look at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
31.
I saw you the other day, you sat in the sun, so uncomfortable, I asked you what you were doing, you mysteriously smiled: small voice, when I got a tan, no one said I was an idiot!
32.
The tortoise and the hare are racing, and the pig is the referee. When I came home one day, my four children were arguing. I was very happy to see me back, and I thought the kids were afraid of me. I was happy too, thinking that the children were afraid of me. But then the wife said, "You are the only obedient one in the family!
33.
You are going to other places, sincere friends to see you off, the cold wind can not block our friendship, I held your hand and said: "good rehabilitation, and strive to reduce the sentence!
34.
Listen! I'm going to chase you! I'm going to identify with you! You're the one I've been looking for! I'm definitely going to take advantage of this opportunity! I'm going to chase you! Dead fly!
35.
Darling, I'm thinking about you again, and my love for you is growing tremendously every day, because I was told: the price of pork has gone up, and you'll fetch a good price!
36.
The defendant promised his defense attorney, "If you have the skills to make it so that I can go to jail for only six months, then you'll get an extra $1,OOO honorarium." As it turned out, he finally got what he wanted, and as the lawyer collected the money, he said, "That's a tricky job, and the judges were going to want an acquittal."
37.
In those days, we walked quietly along the paths of our hometown, your head shyly bowed. When the townspeople saw us they complimented you: hey, nice and clean! Also complimented me: good boy, out herding pigs at such a young age!!!"
38.
Oh! It's snowing! I really want to become a snowflake and fly into your arms. I flew into your collar. I flew into your cuffs. Fly into your ...... How come you don't have a zipper!
39.
A group of male hippopotamus risked being eaten by crocodiles to cross the river to the female hippopotamus courtship, after crossing the river, found that they were all castrated by the crocodile, the only one was spared, and that one explained: silly who called you all breaststroke, and I was backstroke.
40.
"Did you know? My husband was injured in the table tennis final." "But no one ever saw him play?" "Yes. He was watching the game and broke his vocal cords shouting."
41.
A man was passing by the cemetery, heard knocking, cold hair down trees to see a man, so relieved, asked: what for? A: "They carved my tombstone wrong, is changing it!!!"
42.
My dear know? You have recently lost a lot of weight! I am looking in the eyes, pain in the heart ah, look at the New Year, your body but people worry about ...... who do not want to let their own pigs kill more than a few pounds!
43.
Someone said you are a pig! I seriously criticized him! How can that be? How can you say people are what they look like? Class president: What is the purpose of your martial arts training? Keung: To strengthen my body! Mang: To serve the country! The first time I saw this, I was able to get a good look at it, and I was able to get a good look at it, and it was a good look at it.
44.
All roosters chasing the hen neck long song, a rooster eyes red and silent, hen heart. Newly married, hen: you're so cool, then why not call? Rooster: that day drank too much ...... afraid to vomit.
45.
A girl walked into a bar and said to the owner: "You pay two hundred dollars, I will do anything for you." The owner says, "Sure, you paint the walls in here."
46.
Please don't read any further, turn it off, there's really nothing to see, please, really? No regrets? Well, you asked for it you're a pig!
47.
Jade Emperor: Now the heavenly world is in session to hear the case of Erlang Shen's roaring dog Q B Chang'e's jade rabbit, and the defendant is summoned! Hey! Roaring Dog! Called you! Still reading text messages! Still giggling!
48.
Tonight there is a meteor shower, I heard that there will be a big pig flying through the sky, but unfortunately I have to sleep, you will be good, there are so many people watching you fly! You take the white clouds as a dress, borrow a pair of wings from the birds to insert, you flew to me in front of the arrow, tell me - bird people is this look!
49.
John read the advertisement for a lifeguard at the swimming pool and went to sign up. The owner of the pool asked John what his specialty was, and John replied, "The pool is 2.1 meters deep, and I'm 2.17 meters tall."
50.
A drop of water is small in the ocean, but great in the desert; a crane is small in a flock of cranes, but great in a flock of chickens; you're small in a crowd, but great in a pigsty.
51.
Do you know that I met a retard yesterday, and I've never seen anyone so stupid? As for just how stupid? Let me put it to you this way, he probably has a lower IQ than you!
52.
He has long hair and doesn't care about it, dirty clothes and doesn't wash them, messy beard and a few strands of beard, unmanly image, sleeps until noon, and never wants to win the lottery. Who? It is you!
53.
Please touch your little red face first, and then touch your little belly! Good! That's the end of this pig knowledge seminar, see you tomorrow!
54.
Drinking too much also spit, sad also cry, drive also on the tree, see beautiful MM also can not step, always feel is almost income, feelings also always not progress!
55.
Today is your birthday, all women's toilets and women's bathrooms are free to you, welcome! You take the white clouds as a dress, borrow a pair of wings from the birds to plug in, you flew to me with an arrow and told me - this is what a birdman looks like!
56.
Yesterday, my friend and I played a bet, I said: the world is not dumber than a pig. As a result, I lost, and it turns out it's all your fault!
57.
Ah! Your skin is so lustrous, the fragrance you emit is so irresistible, let me bite you hard, my dear - red meat.
58.
There is a tacit understanding called unspoken, there is a feeling called wonderful, there is a kind of happiness called having you with you, there is a kind of thinking called looking at the eyes, and there is a fool who will read the text message through.
59.
I wish you good health and teeth fall out! A smooth journey, halfway missing! Have a good trip and fall down halfway! I'm not going to be able to do that! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it!
60.
An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask: "Hey, you listen! Listen, take a nice deep breath, I need a five-minute blackout!
61.
Rare and rare really rare, seven turtles bouncing, six lions playing chess, five monkeys eating pears, four donkeys chasing Shuki, three mice shooting the third level, two crabs playing tai chi, a piglet reading the message!
62.
A pig and a penguin were locked in a -20 ℃ cold storage, the next day the penguin died, the pig is fine. Why? You don't know? By the way, the pig doesn't know either!
63.
Are you Aline? Let me do the math: three inches of golden lotus, four inches of silver lotus, five inches of copper lotus, six inches of iron lotus - wow, a foot and two inches is Aline!!!"
64.
You know what? I dreamed of you last night, we were strolling by the creek, snuggling up to each other, and you gazed down into my eyes and said three words fondly: woof woof woof.
65.
A group of swallows pecked at the mud under the eaves of the house to build a nest, after the base into the swallows in the roof of the house screaming, the yard children curious, go to ask the father. Father replied: alas, the contractor hid, did not give people money.
66.
Crickets tootling, the spider asked you how the sound changed? Cricket: cold, dial tone is not right, so on not go. At this time the spider suddenly fell down, cricket: ah? Broadband also dropped?
67.
Mother: "In my opinion, my child is really a prodigy, he has a lot of very unique ideas, is not it?"" Yes, ma'am, especially when it comes to mimeographing vocabulary."
68.
Please walk in front of the nearest telephone pole and say loudly to the wild advertisement on it, "I'm saved!" A lady goes to take a snapshot. After taking the picture, she went to pick up the automatically developed photo and exclaimed, "How did I look like a monkey in the picture? Behind the woman coldly said: that's my, your still have to wait.
69.
Last night I had a dream that you fell into a stinking cesspool, and after climbing up you said, "In the end, it was a good time to be born, and even the cesspool smelled good!"
70.
A jet fighter whizzed by in the sky, and the bird was amazed to see it, bird: "Mom, how did that bird fly so fast?" Mother bird: "Try putting a fire in your butt."
71.
I'll give you the heaviest gift since shit on the holiday, you'll definitely eat a pound, but also more full, if you feel the portion is not enough, please help yourself.
72.
To kill time with short messages is called the letter life, the side of the letter received for the letter of interaction, the wild hair crazy received for the letter of the climax, only received not sent for the letter of indifference, the wrong object is the letter of harassment, send and receive unsuccessful is the letter of dysfunction!
73.
Toilet couplet: top: feet on both sides of the Yellow River hand holding confidential documents, bottom: machine gun fire in front of the back of the artillery. Crossword: cool!
74.
A neurologist lying in bed singing, singing, turned over and continued to sing, the doctor asked him: you sing it, turn over why ah? The doctor asked him: "Why did you turn over?" The neurologist said: "Fools, after the A-side of the song, of course, sing the B-side!
75.
The first love is a new version; the old love is a new version; premarital cohabitation is a trial version; the wedding night is the original version; the golden house is a collector's edition; love widow is a revised version; seduce the wife is a pirate version.
76.
A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracted passers-by to watch, a pol.ice over: what happened? Drunkard: "Not clear, I also just arrived!"
77.
In the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting beside her: you do not know I am pregnant? Only the man was nervous and said, "The baby is not mine!!!"
78.
You heartless, honestly, who was the woman who answered the phone in your room in the middle of the night yesterday? She actually told me that ...... the number you dialed is busy, please dial again later.
79.
Go home: fill your stomach. Hand over your ticket. Kiss your wife. Tease the children; go out: look in the mirror. To meet a woman. Move your brain. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that.
80.
One day a drunken man after drinking a taxi home, reaching out to stop a 110 patrol car, and yelled: "Even if you are a piece of a per kilometer, there is no need to write so big? ！！！！"
81.
( ! ) regular ass (__! ___) chubby butts (!) Tight butts (_. _) flat butt (_*_) inflamed butt
82.
The sun is pregnant, type a song. Hee hee ...... (The moon is causing trouble) Well! The tiger held down the king's eight and said, "Little man! Wear a vest I do not recognize you? The next day to see the turtle, the tiger laughed: hey! What's the matter?
83.
Cucumber cried out of love, eggplant comfort her: love is not only sweet. Just intoxicated, and heartbreak. There are also tears. Alas! Who let you fall in love with onions?
84.
The teacher said: find two people I want to class flower. So the vote to select the class flower, a class, elected the most beautiful two girls. The teacher said: "Go to the Registrar's Office, move flowers!!!"
85.
Mosquitoes flying to the sleeping baby buttocks, the father chased away mosquitoes wiped on the flower water. The baby woke up screaming, "Mom, the mosquito just peed on my butt!!!"
86.
The boss pointed to the beautiful yellow bird in the cage and said: "This bird is honest and does not fly around. The customer bought it at a high price and opened the door of the cage: fly, home. The yellow bird laughed: fooled! I am ...... chickens yeah!
87.
A man to jump, his wife shouted: honey do not be impulsive, our road is still long! The man heard, whoosh jumped. pol.office said, "You really should not threaten him like this!!!"
88.
The glutinous rice and buns fight lost, very unconvinced walking down the road bumped into the burnt seller splitting his head, only to see the burnt seller immediately take off his coat, said angrily: "In fact, I am an undercover agent! !"
89.
You are the rose in my heart, but unfortunately thankful; you are the moon in the sky, but unfortunately covered by the clouds; you are Chang'e down to earth, but unfortunately the face of the first ground.
90.
Grandmother and granddaughter in the consultation room. Undressing, the doctor said to the pretty girl. No, doctor, said the old lady: I am a patient. Am I? Then stick out your tongue.
91.
People get married for lack of judgment; people get divorced for lack of endurance; and people get remarried for lack of memory.
92.
Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei your eyes are brighter than Zhu Geliang; my love is deeper than Lu Zhishen my love is longer than Guan Yunchang, but my promise is emptier than Sun Wukong.
93.
An old lady loved to play mahjong during her lifetime, and after her death, her children proposed to send mahjong to accompany the burial, but a woman was worried: "In case of insufficient manpower she came to call us how to do?!"
94.
Street beauty a wave, street lamps have to take a look; street beauty two waved, high-rise buildings want to kiss a bite; street beauty three waved, the earth brakes to go back.
95.
A couple **** gave birth to eight babies, in order of cinnamon. Camellia. Plum blossoms. Chrysanthemums. Yellow flowers. Grass flowers. Wild flowers, the last one is called no money to spend.
96.
The world of flowers, flowers, flowers, flowers of men cheat people's hearts, to achieve the purpose of the change of heart, to no longer be sad, completely on the man dead heart!
97.
You angrily rushed into a unit, yelling: here is the Animal Protection Society? Staff: "Yes, may I ask who bullied you?!"
98.
There is a boy in the class is known as a sissy, an art class teacher let do clay figures, he shouted: I want to do a man! The same table on the side of the pick up: "Alas, you finally figured it out!"
99.
Mountains outside the green hills outside the building, you ignore me I do not worry, the world's beautiful women everywhere, at any time will take me in.
100.
First year, rabbits do not eat lying grass; second year, a good horse does not eat back to grass; third year, the end of the world; fourth year, the fast wind knows the grass.
101.
Two mountain friends went hiking together, one of them accidentally fell down the valley ...... another shouted, "Are you hurt?" Only to hear the abyss came back: "I do not know ah, I'm still falling down ......"
102.
The eight ring met the moon old man asked: shit! Moon Lao! Why did you let me separate from Gaojia Yulan. The Moon Elder said: she's a human, you're a demon, I'm afraid your children will be born as humans and demons.
103.
Those who go home right after work are poor, those who go home at 9 are drunkards, those who go home at 11 are colorful, those who go home at 2-3 are gamblers, and those who don't go home are wild spirits!
104.
Windy and dashing is handsome, a call is a big brother, taxi driver is a brother, read the text message is a PIG.
105.
Some people say: "A woman is like a book, so what book is a fat woman like? A bound book!"
106.
Xiaoming always sleeps in class, and the teacher criticized him: can you not sleep! Xiao Ming replied, "No, because I'm a special needs student!"
107.
The state of life of modern people: work today's shift, sleep yesterday's sleep, spend tomorrow's money.
108.
The woman who pleases herself, the man who pleases himself is poor, if the two sides to please each other, must be frogs with dinosaurs.
109.
A cool poem about falling in love in college: Loneliness, loneliness, not in loneliness in love, in loneliness in perversion.
110.
Beautiful women are beautiful again, beautiful women are so many, if you treat beautiful women, you can't get a wife.
111.
A fat lady often boasted of her good figure, and had to ask Old Zhai to praise a few words. Old Zhai said: "too plump, how can you apply Fengyun Dan to the waist!"
112.
I don't know what kind of reason makes me think about you so much, but I've got four words: "Give me back my money!"
113.
If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I was once innocent!
114.
Since the beginning of time, a math equation has been right (A = B, B = C) so A = C, you = animal, animal = pig, so you = pig!
115.
God knew you were thirsty and created water, God knew you were hungry and created rice, God knew you didn't have a lovable friend so he created me, yet God also knew there were no fools in this world and created you by the way.
116.
Someone said to me, "You're as smart as a pig" and I was furious! I know you well! Such an insult! Simply too sorry for the pig ！！！！
117.
Jumping notes: leave last words to the sixth floor; want to cripple to the fifth floor; to be hospitalized to the fourth floor; only scary to the third floor; play martial arts to the second floor; watch the fun to the first floor.
118.
I've always been attracted to you, and your face has always been in front of my eyes! But I was poor and didn't dare to hope, now I have money! I can say loudly: "Boss, cut me half of that pig's head!"
119.
A river of spring water, a mountain is higher than a mountain, send a message to the straw bag, the straw bag quasi to the cell phone out, out of the cell phone to look down, and found that they are fools!
120.
People will fall in love, not rare; cattle will eat grass, not rare; pigs will press the cell phone, only magical, pigs are pigs. And also press! I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that!
121.
I'll tell you a story, once upon a time there was a fool, he was very stupid, people asked him questions he would only answer "no", this story you have heard?
122.
The first line: look at the back of a thousand soldiers and horses, the second line: turned his head to scare off the various allies. The crossword: Holy shit!
123 The one who makes furniture is timber, the one who understands poetry is a showman, the one who thinks about money is money, the one who is cultivated is talent, the one who wants a woman is a figure, the one who sends a message is a genius, and the one who is looking at a text message is a fool.
124.
The horse and the pig encountered the tiger, turned around and ran, the pig ran slowly, the horse shouted: "stupid pig! How can you run fast with a cell phone in your hand! Quickly throw!
125.
The patient escaped from the operating room to find the dean: "The nurse said do not be afraid, calm down, the operation is very simple." Dean: "Is that not true?" Patient: "But she was telling that to the doctor."
126.
Brain teaser: a pig crossing the road was hit by a car and died, why? Tell you what, it's the pig that can't make a sharp turn.
127.
Recruitment: people poor family ugly, one meter 49, primary education, rural household, three broken houses, a sick pig, all year round, medicine not to leave the mouth, today's text message to recruit girlfriends, do you want?
128.
Married only five months, his wife gave birth to a white fat boy, the husband asked skeptically: this child came too early point? The wife replied: we married a little late.
129.
For many years there has been such a problem plaguing me. Today I finally got up the courage to ask you. That is, do you stretch out your left or right leg when you pee?
130.
The May Day vacation is coming, for the sake of the city's appearance, please stay home during the vacation, don't go out again and scare others.
131.
A woman in a one-step skirt on the car, the skirt is too tight to lift the legs, to solve the hem of the skirt two buttons still can not, turn around and see a man is watching her, then scolded the hooligans! Man: You only hooligan, so you will be so long you have to solve my two buttons!