Wen|Honey Zen
Middle-aged, many women are trapped in the siege of marriage, obviously fish in the throat but to bite the bullet and stick to it.
Middle-aged women are afraid of divorce, because women at this age have long since lost the courage to start over, and even less confidence to live a good life alone, so they choose to settle.
Many men are even more aware of the idea that middle-aged women "can't afford to leave", and are even more brazen in challenging the bottom line of marriage.
Of course, with the awakening of women's self-worth, more and more women are beginning to re-examine their own marriages, care about their own feelings, and really begin to learn to love themselves.
Ma Yili was already in her forties and a mother of two girls when she divorced from the article. But age and children did not become the reason for her to settle for this marriage, on the contrary, she frankly face the karma and karma.
When she got divorced, she said "You and I have loved each other, we have worked hard, and we have accomplished something for each other, and this is regrettable, but there is no right or wrong. I'm sure you'll be happy in your own life." Perhaps her turnaround wasn't as graceful as it should have been, but it wasn't easy for a middle-aged woman to do what she did.
Why is Ma Yili able to let go of the past and live happily ever after?
Because she knows that even if she leaves her man, her life won't be too bad, and her daughter won't lose the love of either of her parents because of their divorce.
A woman in control of her own destiny has no difficulty ending a tasteless marriage when she has the support of her family.
In reality, there are more and more women like Ma Yili. As long as there is still a glimmer of hope in the marriage, it will not be easy to let go. But if you can't find a reason to stick around in your marriage, you won't be afraid to end it.
Chen Jie (a pseudonym) is such a woman.
Chen is 48 years old and is a general accountant in our company.
After the college entrance exam last year, she suddenly told us that she was divorced, a decision that really surprised us in particular. After all, half of her life has come and gone, what else can't she endure that she has to get a divorce?
And at her age, a middle-aged divorced woman with no face value and no body, it's hard to find a better one after a divorce.
When we were worried about Chen's post-divorce life, Chen reassured us, "Don't worry, divorce is not so terrible in middle age, as long as you have two things, the rest of your life is not worried."
The first thing is "health"Sister Chen has always had the habit of exercising, and her body, although not very well defined, is very strong. She seldom gets sick, and she bought critical illness insurance for herself at an early age.
For Chen, 48, she is still young, and divorce is not the end of her life, but the beginning.
The body is the capital of the revolution, as long as the capital is still there, the life will not be too bad.
The second thing "money"
Speaking of which, Chen is our company's "God of Wealth" more than the company's accounts managed clearly, she is also good at investment. And the accounting profession is getting more and more popular as we get older, and she can also take on some private work when she has time.
At the end of the year, the income from her salary is particularly impressive.
Women's financial independence is the bottom line for women to control their own destiny. Money can't solve all problems, but it can solve 99 percent of the problems in our daily lives.
Sister Chen understands the importance of money in life, so she has always managed the financial power of the family. Although the divorce did not net the other party (the man was the one at fault), at least she didn't put herself at a disadvantage.
She believes that as long as she has these two things above, the rest of her life will not be too difficult even if she lives alone.
In marriage, everyone has their own bottom line that can't be touched. If the man again and again to challenge the woman's bottom line, no matter what age the woman, how much reluctance, there will be a day those long years of accumulation of aggression will explode together.
Do you remember that 56-year-old aunt who traveled by car? Married for decades, Auntie wanted to divorce many times, but for the sake of the children finally endured. She endured until her daughter graduated, and then she endured until her grandchildren grew up, and the man was still the same.
Auntie finally broke out, she bought a car and decided to take a trip. She said "This life has been lived for others, the rest of my life I want to live for myself for once."
I hope that when you are disappointed in your marriage, when you feel a lump in your throat when you think of your marriage, you can have the courage to "live for yourself for the rest of your life".
Author: Honey Zen, emotional Q&A person. "Talk about love, talk about love, listen to those you do not know the bottom of the heart," focus on honey Zen focus on emotional questions and answers, if you have something to say, welcome to leave a message of counseling.