I'm leaving, where to go has not been thought of.
Anyway, it is to leave you, leave you I will be better off, I do not know.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to meet someone who is as good to me as you are.
You don't have to be sad, I didn't cry, just tears have been unable to hold back.
The key I put in the old place, under the flower pot in the corner of the wall. The flowers have also been watered, so at least you don't have to worry about them this week. The clothes hanging on the balcony you have to remember to collect, the dirty clothes in the washing machine I have cleaned, in the future you can not and you guess ding shells to decide who will wash, and will not be in the loss after a petulant all pushed to you. This time, I'm not playing around.
My things I have packed up, did not take away you throw it. The moment I closed the door, I realized that this place will no longer belong to me, I have no qualifications, I did not cherish the privilege it gave me.
Forgive me for leaving without saying goodbye, leaving you, not intentionally, and not a long time to plan. You do not feel sorry for yourself, you are not wrong, I do not deserve. Without my days, you have to live well, you have to be doubly happy. This is the only way to stir up the remorse of an ungrateful person like me, to regret the reckless decisions I'm making now, to regret not holding on to you.
Keep forgetting to say how happy I was during the seven years with you. So happy that I have no bottomless heart to accept such comfort.
In the morning when I went to the supermarket to buy more things, I passed by a handicraft store and inadvertently glanced at the embroidery in the corner. The two dolls holding hands on the cloth were dusty, but still grinning from ear to ear.
Do you remember, I also embroidered one for you. The girls at that time in order to show the handiwork, all scrambling to do needlework, knitting bracelets knitting sleep and food, knitting scarves knitting heartbreaking. I felt I had to do something too, to let you know that I was at least a bit of a showman. But I didn't want to go with the crowd, I wanted to do something unique for you. So I went around and around a few streets and bought a cross stitch with a different idea, intending to give you a flower embroidery.
That was the first time I picked up a needle and thread ah, my hands and so stupid, hard to embroider the flower into a pile of flies. But I was smart enough to secretly cut out two dolls from my sister's dress and sewed them on. I felt it was not enough to express my feelings, and added our names in a crooked way. Finally satisfied, I twisted to show you, you laughed so much that tears came down. I said I'll sew it on your book bag so everyone will know you're mine. You answered with a resounding no, you said, no, it's too girly. I pretended to be angry, I said throw it away then, you grabbed it again and put it in your pocket like a treasure. You're not the same person.
Near the end of the year, the library is always as many people as ants. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money from the government, and then you have to pay for it. You'll have to wait at the door of the library early every day to get a seat, and I'll go over to you in a hurry. Our major final exam is less, I borrowed a bunch of Eileen Chang's novels lying on the table to read, you are scratching your head on the side of the high math. When I encountered the love gold sentence paragraph, I copied it down to show you, you do not make a sound, look at a glance and then buried his head to continue to do the problem, should be overwhelmed. One time I saw Hu Lancheng's "This Life" too deep into the drama, busy grabbed your arm and began to read, you looked up at me with a blank face, said ah? I did not head back to the sentence, no matter what you have to hold on to me ah, you do not give up on me ah. You pinched my face and said hmm.
Finally we graduated, around the people are hugging together and crying like a ghost. I also wiped the tears, I said the world is so big, let's go see it. You nodded and shook your head and said, the town is actually quite good, stable work, calm life. I said that I would listen to you.
At that time, how pure, full of mind is you. If you are looking for love, don't say that you have to throw away two or ten thousand of them.
The town is really suitable for survival, not for life. The first thing you need to do is to find an official job, and I'll continue to be a hobo, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get the job done, but I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get the job done.
The friends circle began to popularize the sun life, as if everyone is living a life, only we still stay in the original circle around, unchanged, become the others compared to the past and present coordinates. I joke, I have to become a lazy yellow face, you smile and say, it's okay, become a yellow face I also like you, you are my wife.
The world of adults are vain, we have no way to stop down, calmly watching others do not stop running forward .
Over time, we began to quarrel, you say I do not understand you, I blame you do not understand me. We blame each other for tying up our hands and feet. You still suppress the emotions to cater to my irrationality, but I can't keep pretending to be stupid and blind to your exhaustion.
You know, like me such a greedy woman, want to get a lot of things, never satisfied with the hard-won happiness. You used to always say that you just like my insatiable look, you said you can support my ah. But ah, you have such perseverance, I do not have such confidence. One day, I will be the same as the day before dawn and set up a subwoofer dancing square dance noisy old ladies, I will be in order to firewood and oil and salt trivial and your face, I will become catty, but also hysterical, filled with our breath, and will no longer be flowers and candy flavored, but onion, ginger and garlic flavor.
The truth is that things change quickly, and I'm afraid that I have nothing to lose.
You see, I am so negative, I am so terrified. I've also fantasized about growing old with you, and such tiny and great happiness is everywhere, but I just don't have the courage to accept the day after day of a thousand and one days.
I have to do something for myself, I can not always see you as a retreat. The future is unknown is not scary, to be a drowning cooked frog is scary. The fight in the big city is very cruel, the life in a foreign land is not easy, but I still want to try. I'm not afraid of the drums of war. Maybe I'll return to my hometown in style, or maybe I'll lose my armor and bleed all over the place, who knows?
The moment the train started, all that flashed in my mind was your face. The opposite side of the small couple smiled heart flowers in anger, I sat by the window seat to look at the brush past the poles tears. I'm afraid I can't help but call you, I was about to turn off the phone when your avatar showed up, I stayed for a few seconds to open the WeChat, you rambled on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.
You see you this person is like this, at all times are not trivial. I could not easily hold back the tears just broke the dike, or did not hold back to cover the face bawled a bit. The young couple glanced at me and hurriedly lowered their hands that were resting on each other's cheeks.
The people who have lost their love are not rational, even if I am such a hurtful egoist. One side of the thought of folding back with you to eat the world, and one side can not let go of the heart want to pretend to be. I hesitated and turned off the phone, forcing myself not to think about you. I know I can not want anything, people live, always have to lose something to be more thorough.
I'm leaving, you have to live well.
Be sure to live better than me, even if I will not know later.
Come to see me in my dreams, remember to tell me.