I complained that we have only been talking for two months, what are you in such a hurry to do?
My mom said with a straight face: If you don't hurry up, what if it's been a long time and people resent you?
...... pro mom!
Weekend and friends millet about dinner, the other two years older than me, last year just finished the wedding, I spit with her about it, she rolled her eyes and said: I did not get married, my mother every day to urge the marriage, and finally tied the bar, her old man is now beginning to urge us to have children.
I was shocked: No, you just got married? I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a baby.
Mi is a single-parent family, her father died in high school, and her mother worked hard to bring her to her, to provide her with graduate school graduation, and her greatest expectation is to marry a good family, get married before the age of 28 before the age of 30 to have a child, and live a happy and peaceful life.
Mi and her boyfriend are a campus couple, and both of them are the type of workaholics who are so busy that they can only see each other two or three times a week, either when they're traveling or when they're going to study, so they don't have time to think about having kids.
But the mom can't help staging a crying scene every three days, a sentence: she is getting older and older, and if she doesn't have a child, she won't have the strength to help her bring up the child, but she's not thinking about it, and she's not going to be able to find the time to have a child.
Momi's mom said: you just need to be responsible for the birth of the good, other things all to me! I'm not sure if that's a good idea," she said.
But Xiaomi told me: we have just started our career in the past few years, and we plan to start our own business next year, so we don't have time to think about having a child. I want to wait until three to five years later, after the financial base is better, after the birth of the child, I also plan to bring their own. My mom has worked too hard in her life, and I want her to live a peaceful life in her old age, traveling with the old lady, and the old man dancing on the square dance.
We have our own plans for our own lives, but these things don't make sense with her at all. Ugh, why do old people have to have kids right away when they get married?
We are already adults, can't we make our own decisions about whether and when to have children?
Listening to Mi's tirade, I remembered watching the recent TV drama "Hey Kid", which is exactly the same as the situation Mi and I encountered, and it's so real.
In the drama, the old man has three children, none of them have children, so "urging children to have children" has become his daily routine.
The oldest child died five years ago and has not been conceived again.
The second is neutral, but they are hesitant to have children because of his wife's growing career.
The third is a complete Dink and just doesn't want kids for now.
These three couples almost sum up the status quo of most young people nowadays, there are married people who want to go with the flow, there are those who just don't want to, and there are those who can't get pregnant by all means.
While watching this drama, we couldn't help but start discussing the topic of whether or not to have children after marriage.
Should you get married and have kids?
There are 10,000 answers to this question for 10,000 young couples, and only the tone of the old people urging them to have children is the same:
"You haven't enjoyed the joy of family life, you don't understand the happiness of being a parent ......"
"
"You don't know what it's like to be a parent," he said.
"People are giving birth to you too."
"If you don't give birth now, it will be too late when you want to give birth later."
"I'm doing this for your own good."
In the old man's view, not having a child is ungrateful, selfish and irresponsible, and it is only right that young people should get married and have a child, and not having a child is simply treasonous.
I have privately asked several of my friends' parents why they must have children when they get married. They put away their usual bossy tone in front of their children accusing them of being unfilial, and said in a very low voice: I always feel relieved when I have a child, and if I don't have a child, my heart is always hanging in the balance.
The word "assured" reminds me of the time I watched Jiang Wenli and Guo Xiaodong's play and couldn't help but cry several times. In their forties, they lost their young son, and although they are not considered "old people" yet, the pain is too painful to bear.
Between the two of them, only a child can make up for that kind of pain, so she tried everything to have a child, but her health conditions did not allow it.