Ask for short jokes or short stories.

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy. the one who sells the candy."

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money you were given yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You're such a good boy," said his mom proudly. "Here's another two cents for you. But why are you so interested in that old lady?"

"She's a candy seller."

Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

"Then, can you

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .

"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair."

Notes:

(1) inform v.tell

(2) nest n.nest; nest

(3) description n.describe

(4) encourage v.encourage

(4) the bird,' am, only the nest," replied the child. ) encourage v. to encourage

(5) resemble v. to resemble; similar

18. bird's nest and hair

My sister is an elementary school teacher. Once a student told her that a bird had made a nest in a tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird is it?" My sister asked her.

"I don't see a bird, teacher, just a nest." The boy replied.

"Well, can you describe the nest for us?" My sister encouraged her.

"Oh, teacher, it's like your hair."

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

Notes:

(1) poisonous adj."

(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue because I've just bitten my tongue. Cause is a shortened form of Because.

I've just bitten my tongue

"Are we poisonous?" A young snake asked its mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied, "Why do you ask?"

"Because I just bit my tongue."

A Woman Who Fell

It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - as I neared the gate, a plump, middle- As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"< /p>

The woman who fell

I was hurrying toward New York's Grand Central Terminal to catch a train during rush hour. Near the entrance, an obese middle-aged woman rushed from behind, not realizing that she had lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back. Her inertia brought her close to my feet. I was about to help her when she got up on her own. She calmed down, wiggled her eyebrows at me, and said, "Is it always the pretty women who fall at your feet?"

English Jokes (I)

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. fleas are different? You might think straight away that they are both big and small. But apart from that, what about the fact that a monkey can have fleas on it, but a flea can't have monkeys on it. That's an interesting answer, isn't it?

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

If you step on a farmer's corn or grain, he'll be angry, and if you step on the corns on the soles of his feet, he'll be even more angry. Corn can mean both "corn/grain" and "corns".

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. strongest creature in the world is not surprising. What do you say?

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

When you see the phrase "make faces", don't think that the people who work in a clock factory make faces all day! Because in addition to that, it can also literally mean making clock faces.

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? The easiest way is to keep him awake. Although this is not a cure, it is true that if the sleepwalker is kept awake, he will not sleepwalk.

English Jokes (2)

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. what does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery. maintenance man in a cemetery.

He is really somebody.

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He's such a big man. What for?

-- Cemetery graveyard keeper.

English Jokes (3)

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit The US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. They are directly from America."

They are directly from America

An old Chinese woman, shortly after returning from a visit to her daughter in the United States, went to a city bank to deposit dollars given to her by her daughter. At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully examined each bill for counterfeits.

This practice made the old woman very impatient, and finally she couldn't stand it any longer and said, "Believe me, sir, and please believe these bills too. These are real dollars, and they were brought directly from America."

English joke (4) my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

My dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh,

My dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you should have put an ad in the paper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my puppy can't read."

English joke (5) Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

Give me the winner.

-- Waiter,

this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry sir, this one has definitely been in a fight.

-- Oh, then give me the one that won the fight.

English joke (6) The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5:00 in the morning. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, and he said, "I'm sorry, but I don't know what to say. gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

Scrooge's treat

A notoriously miserly man finally decides to treat himself for once. Explaining to a friend how to find his house, he said, "You go up to the fifth floor, look for the door in the center, and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opens, then push it open with your foot."

"Why do I have to use my elbow and foot?"

"Your hands have to carry the presents. Gosh, you're not going to come empty-handed, are you?" Scrooge replied.

English joke (7) Advice for "Kid"

A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell, "Get the kid."

Advice for "Kid"

This is a bit of advice for those about to retire. >Here's a word of advice for the retiring. If you're only 65,

don't go into a retirement community. Because everyone there is in their 70s, 80s or 90s. Whenever they have to move something, lift something or load something, they scream, "Let the little one do it."

English joke (8) Which woman?

One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.

On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of

On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out. The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

Which woman?

One night I took my husband's car on a shopping trip and came back to find the body dusty and scrubbed it for a while. When I finally walked inside I exclaimed, "The woman who loves you the most in the world just scrubbed your headlights and windshield."

My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

English joke (IX) The doctor lives downstairs

"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. downstairs."

The doctor lives downstairs

"Doctor," she exclaimed as she rushed inside.

"I want you to be honest about what I've got."

He surveyed her from head to toe and then blurted out, "Ma'am, I have three things to say to you. First, you need to lose about 50 pounds; second, if you were to use a tenth of the rouge and lipstick, your beauty would change. Third, I am a painter - the doctor lives downstairs."

English Joke (10) One Engine Left

A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. we have We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."

A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "if we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

One engine left

A 747 was crossing the Atlantic when the captain's voice came over the loudspeaker: "Attention, passengers, we have lost one of our four engines. But the remaining three engines will get us to London. It's just that we're going to be an hour late because of it ." A little while later, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks? We just lost our third engine. But believe this. We can fly with only one engine, but it's going to be three hours late." While this was going on, one of the passengers said with great exasperation, "For God's sake, if we drop another engine, we're going to be in the sky all night."

Respondent: lovemydream - Senior Manager Level 7 7-5 10:08

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