Everyone's brain is loaded with different things, some people just some trivial things, nagging on the good. Some people are loaded with untold secrets, can not find someone to tell. Some people are so talented and full of ideas that they must express them through painting, music, and literature. Everyone has to find a spiritual outlet or they will live a life of despair.
I have a friend who is in a very bad mood whenever it is cloudy and rainy, so gloomy that she feels breathless. It's been 13 years since her son left this world and she still hasn't come out of it. She has done only one thing in these 13 years, and that is to keep thinking about his son. She stopped associating with many of her friends and distanced herself from her loved ones. She was afraid of people asking her about her child, she was afraid to mention it. She is a very wise person, yet she has not found a spiritual outlet in this matter. I had told her to do something meaningful, such as writing words to express her inner hurt in words. She said that she wanted to seal this matter properly, that it was the most precious memory in her life, and she did not want to touch this memory. Perhaps, she was afraid that the process of writing could not be faced. I think it's important to write it and say goodbye to the past, even if it tears your heart out and you cry in pain. After writing it, she was mostly cured! And now, she is immersed in sadness during festivals, bad weather, and her son's classmates' happy events. Time is not a good medicine sometimes, and it makes you sink deeper and deeper.
There was a female classmate in the same year of my middle school years who was from a poor family and studied very hard and diligently. She was the kind of person who worked so hard that she had no time or energy to make friends with anyone, and she went all the way to the China University of Political Science and Law, and then to Oxford University for postgraduate study in law. Her life was all about studying, she never fell in love, and her life was all about hard work. After returning to China, she worked in a Hong Kong law firm, and not long after, she had a mental breakdown and split. Such a cold study for twenty years, never give yourself easy, the brain's load must be how heavy ah! Even if she has emotional experiences, even if she has simply have sex, her spirit will have an outlet to vent, not to collapse!
The mental outlet can be understood as an outlet for stress, but also as an outlet channel for talent and ideas. Those things inside that make us carry weight must be able to release, otherwise life is too heavy ah.
We write on, it's a good place for mental output. In the WeChat circle of friends, which are my friends, I actually don't want them to know too much about what I really think. Write in my own journal, I guess, no sharing, no outlet. When strangers see my words, my words become everyone's story, I no longer alone to carry these stories. So, you'll find on a lot of people don't really care how many drills they get, they just go with the flow and write, it's their spiritual outlet. So the more you write, the more energized you get!
From the spiritual outlet, we can associate the nagging of housewives. Their world is very small, the family is their world, every day is the husband and children, vegetables, rice, oil and salt. When the husband and children come back, they have to talk about it, or else they will not be able to find anyone to talk about it! However, her husband and children are tired of her nagging and do not answer. This has led to more dissatisfaction.
There is a phenomenon that I didn't understand before, but now I do. It is my daughter in kindergarten, I found that the mothers in their class, full-time housewives, it did not take long for them to play together, shopping together, go to the content yard together, share food together, take the children out to play together, complain about their husbands together, it is very interesting. When the family does not listen to their nagging, here is a group of moms in the same situation, they share with each other, and soon become so-called good friends and good girlfriends.
The same thing happened when the kids were in elementary school, and the moms who were stay-at-home moms quickly met and became good friends. Working out together, shopping together, grooming together, picking up and dropping off the kids together. I couldn't hang out with these people, we talked about different things. They would not be my spiritual outlet. Now I understand these behaviors, having someone to share family minutiae and worries with, they found a mental outlet, these friends brought them ease and pleasure.
With the mental outlet, I also think of children. Nowadays, children are actually much more tired than we used to be. After school, they are picked up at home, seldom play alone with their buddies, after school vacation, homework is like a mountain, the weekend and interest classes and tutorials, the pressure of the children can not breathe. A school in Hangzhou told each child to wash out a picture of a smiling face and stick it on the school wall. It was found that the more senior children smiled, the more reluctant, rarely see photos of heartfelt joy, the lower grades students will be happier. If parents do not pay attention to their children's spiritual outlet, it is easy for them to rebel during adolescence. Therefore, no matter how busy I am on weekends, I have to take my child out to play, so that she can get in touch with nature and other children. As long as she is happy, she will have the energy to go to class the following week with full energy. One day, the teacher sent me a video of the children dancing indoors. Most of the children were expressionless, but only my daughter was dancing happily. I was so happy to see this. She was mentally healthy, and that's what kids are supposed to look like!
With the spirit of the exit, I also associated with the square dance of the aunt, they in fact not only just dance exercise, they here also befriended the same rural to bring grandchildren of Zhang Amma, Wang Amma. They not only dance together, but also shop for groceries and chatter together.
Those who like to get together to drink and play cards don't really talk about anything much, they just repeat the same thing every time, and they enjoy it. This is their spiritual outlet.
Spiritual outlets don't have to be so lofty as to be expressed through music, chess, calligraphy and painting. Ordinary people, having a group of people who share the same odor get together and talk about heaven and earth is their spiritual outlet.