01
Mother-in-law does not help me with the child, I do not help her cure
In the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law issue, there has been a controversial topic: mother-in-law does not help me with the child, I want to help her old age? Some say yes, some say no. Avon's answer is: "If my mother-in-law doesn't help me with my children, I won't help her with her old age".
Yavonne has been married for 3 years and now has a 2-year-old child, all of whom she brings up alone. At first, she wanted her mother-in-law to come and help with the child, but she refused on the grounds that she had to work.
To this end, Avon was resentful, believing that her mother-in-law was too selfish to help her with the child, while her own mother-in-law only cared for herself. Now her mother-in-law is sick and needs to spend tens of thousands of dollars to be cured. Avon is in charge of the family's finances and refuses to give up the money. Avon's husband, Ah Wen, is a coward and is afraid that his wife can't do anything about it.
Watching his mother lying sick in the hospital, he felt helpless and could only borrow money from all over the world. When Wen's sister heard about this, she came to their house to make trouble with Avon and asked her to take out the money.
Afang was adamant: "My mother-in-law didn't even bring me any children, so I won't help her with her treatment!"
Small aunt also not willing to show weakness: "Mother-in-law has no obligation to help you bring up the child." "Who said there is no obligation, who's child is not brought up with the help of a mother-in-law."
"Your mother-in-law raised your husband, or you wouldn't have the family you have now." It was an argument that let no one get away with anything, and no solution came out of it.
02
On the issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, often mirroring human nature
Ya Fang's unwillingness to treat her mother-in-law quickly spread, and people behind the scenes were talking about it, thinking that Ya Fang was too heartless. But Avon still felt that she was right and that it was her mother-in-law who was at fault for not bringing up her child.
Arwen couldn't possibly watch her mother go without treatment and argued with Avon: "If you won't treat my mom, then I'll treat her okay, give me my part of the money." "Isn't your money my money? If you take the money to cure your mom, then what about our life in the future?"
"Are you going to be happy watching my mom get sick and die?" "I don't want her to get sick and die, I just don't want to spend the money, she must have money of her own, you told her to take her own money out." "That's my mom's own retirement money, how dare you."
"I don't care anyway, who told her not to bring up my kids in the first place." "Not bringing up our children, that's because of the debt she incurred when she married you in the first place, and she had to help me pay it off, so she went to work."
Avonne was a little surprised because she didn't know anything about the debt she owed from marrying in the first place. It was only after much persuasion that Avon took out some of the money for her mother-in-law's treatment.
In the case of the daughter-in-law's support for her mother-in-law, the heart of the matter is illuminated. Some daughters-in-law feel that their mothers-in-law did not give birth to me to raise me, I do not give her old age, and some daughters-in-law will love the house, think that she gave birth to her husband, and her husband should be filial piety.
Mother-in-law is not a nanny, there is no obligation to give you a child, she with or without is her freedom of choice, and you raise or not to raise is a legal and moral constraints.
People can not be so selfish, you married your husband, you and he is a whole, he has to support the elderly, you also have this obligation. Even if you don't support the elderly, you shouldn't stop your husband from doing his filial duty.
03
Mother-in-law has no obligation to help you bring up your children
On the issue of supporting her mother-in-law, Zhang Ling's thinking is completely different from that of Avon. Zhang Ling also brought up her own children. Her mother-in-law is in the countryside and is not accustomed to life in the city, and she is also worried about mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems, so she brought up her own children.
Zhang Ling's mother-in-law is a very dashing person, although she can't read a few words, but she also goes out and travels, and dresses herself up every day. When she was asked to come and help with the kids, she said she wanted to square dance and didn't want to come to the city.
Zhang Ling did not say anything, thinking that it was not easy for her mother-in-law to raise her husband. Now that she's old, she's finally enjoying a bit of freedom, and her burden is lighter, so she's not obligated to help herself.
In the mother-in-law to help themselves not to help themselves with the matter of the child, chapter Ling carry clear, and do not complain, mother-in-law can help themselves with, that naturally have to be grateful, if not that can not be blamed for what she. Last year, her mother-in-law broke a bone, Zhang Ling also took the child back to take care of her for half a month.
The mother-in-law asked her, "I didn't help you with the baby, will you blame me?" Zhang Ling replied, "No complaints, you have your own life too, there is no need to sacrifice for us."
After this incident, her mother-in-law felt that Zhang Ling was a knowledgeable daughter-in-law and became more and more attentive to her.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if there is more understanding and sympathy, there will not be so many conflicts.
Nowadays, many people's concept is that if you don't help me bring up my children, I won't help you in old age. But you and your mother-in-law are independent individuals, your children you have the obligation to take care of, and mother-in-law does not have this responsibility.
If she helps you it is out of affection, not legal responsibility. Most of the mothers-in-law are old, it is not easy to enjoy their own life, but to be kidnapped by your, it is too unfair to her.
Being a son or daughter, all have the obligation to support the elderly, your husband to support your mother-in-law, where can you escape to?
Not asking you to treat your mother-in-law like your own mother, but at least you can't go too far. You have to have a minimum of conscience to live in this life.
You married your husband, you should be with him to bear the burden of all that should be borne.