A full-time mom is a mother who quits her old job in order to nurse her children, referring to some moms who don't want to rely on nannies, don't want to bother the elderly, and focus on running their families and accompanying their children's growth without a job or quitting their jobs.
In many people's minds, full-time mom is just a name, not a profession. Most people take it for granted that a woman can take care of a family and children, and most importantly, this "career" does not pay.
01
Society is very hard on women.
Society is becoming more and more demanding of women, women who get married, and especially women who become moms.
You usually dress up to show off, some people say you don't know who you want to seduce and who you want to provoke; you don't dress up, and some people say you're unkempt and don't look like a woman.
You don't go to work, the housework is of course yours, you go to work, and when you go home, the housework is still waiting for you. Especially since you have a child, the leaders think you are not enough to take care of the child wholeheartedly may affect the work so you may be cast idle or arrange some mechanical repetitive no future work, or put you frequently transferred to rotate until you know difficult to retreat;
You want to work hard at night and weekends and often overtime to have a career, the old people at home that you intentionally outside the socializing just to escape! The first thing you need to do is to go home and take care of your children. The heavy housework and the triviality of taking care of the children can't get out of the way so that the old people and you always have a gap in your heart, and a small fuse will be more likely to cause the family to quarrel with the house is closed and not to have any peace and quiet night sleep.
As if you were born to be a superman. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new pair of shoes. I've always wondered how a society that was once a matriarchal clan could have evolved to this extent. When it comes to family children, women are at the top of the list.
02
The group of full-time moms is growing.
Although full-time motherhood is a risky and unpopular job that can turn into a tragedy at any time, the group of full-time moms has continued to expand in recent years, mostly due to the following reasons:
Babysitters' character cannot be determined. Many nannies have not received formal training, mothers can rely on a lot of times just nanny character, and the human heart is inherently complex. The fact that some nannies are not balanced in their own material comparison with their masters does not preclude them from having a different heart. A lot of nannies do out of things is even more shocking.
There are burned to death master, there are abused children, there are abducted children. Even though most have been sanctioned by the law, the damage done to the children can never be repaired.
This leaves moms defenseless, and fewer and fewer of them leave their new babysitters alone with their kids if they don't have to.
Older people have lives of their own. Not only do new-age seniors have limited energy, but they have to have a colorful life of their own. Now more than ever, the elderly focus on the pursuit of spirituality, the group to see the mountains, see the world, or group to participate in yoga and chess classes, square dancing, tea and so on, the old people work hard for more than half a lifetime, the children of this change should also be expressed understanding and support.
You can't count on nannies and old people to educate your children, and the concept of education is outdated. Raising a child requires a lot of energy and time, as well as a certain level of education, so even if there is a healthy and hardworking old man, or a nanny who has the right outlook, so that the child can grow up safely, but with the old man's concept and the nanny's general level of education, it is still not guaranteed that the child will have a good education.
The modern enterprise revolving speed is too strong, quite popular 996 work system, husband and wife at the same time in the enterprise, two people have to work overtime until late at night, can not take care of the family and the child, can only temporarily sacrifice one side of the career, to fulfill a more warm family relationship and the offspring can get a longer time and a better amount of quality of education.
03
Is full-time motherhood a tragedy?
Luo Zijun and An An of "My First Half Life" and "The Second Time is Good Too" both illustrate for us the fate of abandonment that cannot be escaped after giving up their careers to be a full-time wife. Due to our national conditions and the influence of traditional thinking, most mothers have the same confusion when they become full-time mothers, and these confusions come from:
Low sense of self-worth. The fact that they give up their jobs and have no economic status leads to a lack of social status and family status;
Inability to generate income. There is only one source of money, and it all comes from the husband's pocket;
Lack of respect from others. Usually, some unkind neighbors will sneer at you, you are really free, you don't need to go to work, you don't have a job. The first time I saw you, I was in the middle of a dinner party, and I was in the middle of a dinner party, and I was in the middle of a dinner party, and I was in the middle of a dinner party. Even the grown-up children will sometimes say that their mom is not working.
The first thing you need to know is that you have to be able to get your hands on a lot of things that you don't want to do. On occasions when you need money, you will feel the occasional dislike from your family members. And even a husband who spoils you so much will snap at you when he is busy at work and physically and mentally exhausted, and doesn't know what to do at home all day.
Paying is not understood. Every day nanny-like existence, laundry, cooking, cleaning. You'll be able to do errands on behalf of your family, and so on. Because you don't have a job, these chores are necessary. The first thing that you need to do is to get your hands on a new car, and then you'll be able to get a new car.
Putting your hopes into your children makes you lose yourself. Full-time mothers because of too many wishes did not come true, always put too much hope into the child, to help the child to enroll in a lot of remedial classes, hope that the children into the dragon and phoenix, to make up for the lack of their own value, but this is not only will increase the child's learning pressure, when the child is still not as good as the performance of the grand sense of loss, as well as indirectly undermine the relationship between parent and child.
It's hard to get a job again. Even though some mothers still have a heart to go to work when their children grow up, they have no choice but to be overage or out of touch with the society. Enterprises seek to maximize profits and recruit more young people, and there is never a shortage of newcomers during the graduation season every year. All you can choose from are nannies, maids, dining hall staff, living aunts, and other manual labor-based jobs.
Full-time motherhood is a high-risk occupation that can become a tragedy if you are not careful.
04
Choices matter.
When a woman chooses to be a full-time mom, she not only loses her youth, health, job, connections, dreams, plans, no voice, no social status, some even lose their marriage and start all over again. Therefore, when a woman decides to become a full-time mom, please think twice before doing so.
Whether or not to become a full-time mom, is just a personal choice, can not complain. And this choice should be made early, even established before a woman gets married. It is important to choose the right person.
The second thing is that before you are ready to become a full-time mom, you have to consider whether the age of your re-employment is suitable after your child goes to kindergarten, and what about your education, experience, ability, and also whether you have the ability to re-employ at any time. If age is no longer a factor, then are you prepared to have a variety of backup funds, even if you are abandoned by your husband, you still have the ability to raise children alone.
Finally, there are the choices you make after you have become a full-time mom. Will you be able to follow your heart and be willing to return to your family, which is definitely not a compromise to give up on life, but a new way of life. Will you be able to continue to improve yourself and give a good example to your children.
05
Solve the knot in your heart, frequent planning, good cultivation, full-time mom can also live a wonderful life.
Even if you have no choice but to become a full-time mom, as long as you do the following three things, you can live a wonderful life.
Undo the knots. It doesn't matter what other people say, the key is that if you can follow your heart, you don't care what other people think. As long as you give your whole heart to your family, you are not ashamed of your family, and you are not ashamed of heaven and earth. Mothers make their families eat fresh and tasty vegetables and fruits, hot and fragrant meals, enjoy a comfortable and tidy indoor environment, and wear clean and fragrant clothes every day. A full-time mom is a mixture of many roles, not only a wife and mom, but also a nanny when doing housework, a teacher when teaching children, a doctor when taking care of a sick family member, a driver when picking up and dropping off children, a hairdresser, a tailor, a repairman, a sanitation worker, and so on. Without income, year-round, full-time mom is a great existence. In recent years, as society's misconceptions about full-time mothers are slowly dispelled and the importance of the role is deepened, the status of full-time mothers will also be improved.
Frequent planning. The first thing you need to do is to take into account your own strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and challenges in the SWOT assessment, and take into account your own savings, investment income, pension, social security, hobbies, physical conditions, and future plans to find a lifestyle that suits you and your family. A mature person knows how to control his own life and how to plan his life from all aspects. Stay humble, talk less and do more, don't become a sloppy, greasy, nagging, pimply middle-aged woman, don't spend money recklessly, have the right outlook on consumption, don't lose your temper, and treat your loved ones with gentleness.
Good cultivation. Full-time mother does not mean a complete loss of self, mothers in the care of the family child at the same time, do not forget to cultivate themselves, improve themselves. You can learn to play the piano, painting, calligraphy, money management, fitness, traveling and so on according to your personal interests. Especially read more books, reading will keep you awake all the time, always know what kind of person you are and what kind of road you are going to take in the future. Even if you do not have time to learn so much, you can have simple happiness, do a mouthful of delicious dishes to taste themselves, taste a cup of tea, listen to a song of music, watch a can not distinguish between the stage can be interchanged between the roles of the movie. You can do a lot of things in fact.
06
Full-time moms around.
There are a lot of full-time moms around, parents of classmates, ex-colleagues and friends, and a few of them have formed a stable circle that meets from time to time to talk about kids, men, cooking and life. These mothers have their own unique style, planting flowers, growing vegetables, making tea, each with their own wonderful.
Pang's mother has a top-ranking daughter, she herself is a graduate of a prestigious university, due to the two sides of the husband are out of town, there is no elderly with children, had to be out of touch with the community, the daughter was born to be a full-time mom, she did a good job of cooking vegetarian dishes, for the freshness of the ingredients, whether or not there is a set of additives and so on have a picky.
Lu's mother has a tall daughter, her husband opened a tea house in the luxurious Vanke Plaza, she often go to help, drink tea, she used to be a lawyer's office administrator, planted a beautiful large rose peony, daily bubble flower tea, the home clean and tidy, but also to take care of the flowers to be born angry.
Ms. Wu has a pair of cute and obese sons, and probably feels that she has already accomplished all she can, without any business or part-time work, and usually loves fitness and yoga, and often sends out some difficult movements in her circle of friends. She loves to eat salad, may help to keep fit.
Yuan mother has a pair of twin sons, she quit her job has been more than ten years, has become a very competent housewife, usually cook a handful of good food, the family economic environment is abundant, her family has a variety of good tools to do food, such as thousands of dollars of powdered machine, special to go to Japan to entrust the back of the iron pot, she is more varied food.
There are more and more excellent women around, no matter whether they are full-time moms or not, they always have an independent personality, with independent thinking and personal charm. Dear kind, any one thing to do well, is not easy. No matter how you have a choice, the most important thing is to know yourself, know yourself, follow your heart, do what you like, use all your efforts to self-growth, live a rich life.