And some of them, in fact, are not really able to get away with it. One has two grandchildren who aren't even in kindergarten yet, one has a husband who is still severely depressed, and one has in-laws in their 80s who need to be taken care of.
The two grandmothers agreed: These mothers are simply not in a position to go out for a summer vacation, and they shouldn't be leaving the house without a care in the world, just for their own enjoyment. But you should take care of your home first, and then enjoy your own life when you really get off the hook.
For the two old neighbors who are a bit stubborn, I have no choice but to ignore the words, and really laugh at the idle chatter. But in my heart, I know very well that a lot of people would probably define the current life of those old moms the way they do.
If we pay close attention, life often hear "should be how how", and "should not be how how" words, there are too many around like that a few summer mom, was defined by life or life.
It's just that being defined is someone else's business, and not being defined is your own business. As long as we don't care about being defined, we can live the life we want and have a different and exciting life by breaking through every aspect of the definition with full courage and effort.
In the past two years, after I decided that the second half of my life would never be wasted, I have turned down many invitations from friends to parties and outings. At first, my friends didn't know the truth and thought I really had something I couldn't get away from and refused. Until one day, a friend came to my side of the business, suddenly came to my store, saw that I was listening to the lesson, and accidentally saw the notebook I put aside on the full schedule.
I knew that for those friends of mine, we were pursuing something completely different within ourselves. Putting aside our inner pursuits, there are certain ****ing same recreational hobbies that we can heckle together during leisure and relaxation. So, she asked half the time, and I didn't clearly tell her what exactly I was holding out for?
She then put the "alternative" hat on me, pointing at me and asking, "Is that necessary?". In her opinion, for people of our age, after half a lifetime of hard work, we should take it easy and have fun, why make ourselves so nervous, so tired, so time-consuming to do those meaningless things.
I still smiled, not explaining, so as not to cause her more confusion.
Unexpectedly, my "alternative" spread among my friends, some admiring, others disdain. But all of them said that I should be like them, when I have nothing to do, or play mahjong, or play jitterbug, or dance, or go out to play in the mountains, should not get up early and stay up late to do so brain burning things.
This is how I was defined by my friends, and was emphasized over and over again at every opportunity. If I hadn't inherited my father's stubborn character, perhaps I would have been unable to overcome the confusion of being defined, and would have chosen to be defined by the state of life. After all, that's what middle-aged and older people do.
No matter what my friends say about me and how they define their lives, I understand that they are kind and want me to live a comfortable life just like them.
I'm incredibly grateful to my friends, and I have no choice but to continue my "otherness". Stepping out of your comfort zone is hard work, but the joy and fulfillment that comes from doing so is something that the defined life can't bring to the soul.
It doesn't matter how you are defined, as long as you insist on being undefined, you will make your life unique. Even if you end up being mediocre, at least it's a life without regrets.