For example, when relatives and friends go home, the mother asks the children who can sing and dance at home to sing a song or dance for their uncles and aunts, but the children are unwilling to take a step forward;
For another example, I took my children to the playground of the shopping mall and saw some children walking freely on the climbing tower in the air, so I bought them tickets. The children dare not go up in any case. My mother felt very sorry for the ticket money and lamented how her children were so timid. If only she were brave!
Have mothers with children ever encountered the above two scenarios? Whether children are 3 years old, 5 years old or 7 years old, there are always some places that make them deeply frustrated in their education.
My daughter is in Grade One. Last Thursday was the last day of class in 2020. She had classes in the morning and performed a New Year's Eve party in the afternoon, which was held in her class. A few days before that, my daughter told me that they had a party, and she didn't want to perform, and I didn't take it seriously.
Later, when their class distributed the evening program, I found out that my daughter really didn't report any programs. There are 1 1 performances on the list, including solo, chorus, solo dance, poetry reading and magic. There are 5 1 students in the class, and half of them are involved.
Seeing these programs, I don't understand why my daughter didn't attend. Some people complained that she didn't attend once. The reason she gave is: I don't want to perform, I don't want to make up, and I don't know what to report.
After listening to her reasons, I was so angry that she wanted to be a singer in the future, and now she dare not perform in front of everyone. Not to mention being a singer in the future, even if she speaks loudly in front of others, she may not have the courage; She also said that she would be a drummer in the future, and it would be difficult to get out of this road without good talent.
My daughter is a child who loves to try new things since she was a child. At home, I have few restrictions on her and seldom give her verbal blows. Why?
I was relieved to see the performance of the small members of the diving team of Yangpu District Junior Sports School in Shanghai.
The name of this little player is Jiang Qiaochu, and her parents must especially hope that she can always win the first place in all aspects before giving her this name. Xiao Qiaochu is 5 years old and just joined the team for training last month. I took part in diving practice for the first time, stood on the platform for 10 minutes, and finally got up the courage to jump.
Her little body was at a loss on the platform, and her fear made people feel very cute and distressed. Later, she described her feelings, saying that she was afraid at that time and would overcome it slowly next time.
Netizens gave the little girl a thumbs-up and said, "Courage is never fearless, but facing fear and choosing victory." The 5-year-old child is still a baby in the eyes of many mothers, and the little leader has learned to face the first lesson of life.
Every mother can try the following three methods when her child is afraid to do something seemingly simple because of timidity.
It is said that parents are the best teachers for children. To teach children to be brave, parents should first be enterprising people.
In childhood, people are most influenced by their parents. For example, when I was a child, my parents said snakes were terrible things. Since then, I have been afraid of snakes.
Whether it's a plastic snake, a toy snake or a snake drawn in a book, as soon as I see it, I will jump up and run away like an electric shock. Even when others are talking about it, as long as I think about the appearance of a snake, I will be numb all over.
Until now, I am the mother of two girls, and I also talk about the color change of snakes.
I don't do this very well, because my two daughters are not as afraid of snakes as I am, but every time they read the encyclopedia of animals and see invertebrates or mollusks, they will run away screaming and then run back to see it. I'm thinking that if I meet something I'm afraid of, I can calm down and not show fear. Maybe they won't be afraid of something.
I will try to avoid showing fear in front of them in the future. Because, the mother is the best role model for children, and being calm and calm when things go wrong is an excellent quality of a person.
Christopher Meng said in his book Intimacy that children's two main needs are a sense of belonging and the importance of self-confirmation. Jane Nelson said in his book Positive Education that when a child's sense of belonging and his/her need to confirm his/her importance are not met, he/she will feel depressed. Every child has different degrees of depression, but it will lead them to do some deviant behaviors.
It is not an innate ability for children to dare to challenge what they are not good at, and they need constant exercise. What is needed behind this is the patient companionship and guidance of parents.
I have seen an old woman take her child to kindergarten, and the child fell down in the middle of running, and the child got up and cried. At this time, grandma ran forward, hit the child twice and said, "What are you doing running so fast?" ? I fell down and cried! "The child cried even more. There must be more grievances in this cry.
It's normal for a child to fall, and it's instinctive to cry when it hurts. If you blame your child blindly, then the child will feel that he is not doing well and can't find a sense of identity, and he will become more and more depressed. Let him do more difficult things in the future, I'm afraid I can't take this step.
Every child is afraid of injections, not only because of pain, but also because of fear of the unknown. Just like a little diver, he cried on the platform because of his fear before diving. Fear of the unknown will make children afraid to challenge themselves.
Yin Jianli, an expert in children's education, mentioned in the book "A good mother is better than a good teacher" how her daughter guides her when giving injections.
When Yuanyuan asked her mother, "Does the injection hurt?" Mom smiled and said flatly, "Oh, it hurts a little, but it's not very painful, just like when you accidentally fell on a stool that day." Yuan Yuan's anxiety eased. Finally, she cooperated with the injection and completed the task.
Children are very receptive. Don't fool him into taking on something he hasn't experienced just because he is young. Tell him clearly and tell him the cause and effect vividly, and he will be more and more willing to accept new things and challenges. Because he knew that his parents talked to him like an adult and told him everything, he felt his parents' patience and his importance.
Children who grow up in such an environment must have stronger psychological acceptance than other children. When a child knows that no matter what happens, he can go forward with the support of his parents.
Two days ago, I met a mother in the community and played in the Fountain Square with her kindergarten son. The child wants to play in the pool where other children go to work, but he is afraid to jump.
His mother said beside him, Be brave, son. Don't wait for your mother to carry you down. Look at all the other children. ......
Ten minutes later, the child still dared not jump. Finally, the mother reluctantly talked about the child and took her son home.
If this mother and her children have read some picture books or stories about building children's courage together, the children in kindergarten must be much more courageous.
Babies can read picture books such as Baby Bear, Tom's Story and A Smart Fish, and older children can buy books such as I have the courage to overcome difficulties.
Telling the truth through stories makes it easier for children to understand and follow suit. The magic of picture books and stories is so great.
It can be seen from the performance of the diving team that every child will be afraid of the unknown, but he will definitely have his own way to solve the problem. Before that, it was his parents who gave him a strong sense of security and patient guidance.
what do you think? Is there a better way? Welcome to leave a message for discussion.