? A twelve-year-old Syrian boy, in a Lebanese court, sued his parents on the grounds that: they gave birth to me.
His parents are full of grievances in their own defense: I grew up the same way! I in order to feed the child, a lifetime like a slave to work hard, how many crimes are willing to commit. At first glance, it sounds like the parents also have their own unspeakable secrets. But careful thought found that their cause and effect logic is very problematic, it seems to give birth to a child is the cause, live hard and meticulous is the result.
? Imagine if living itself is very difficult, living is suffering, then why even involve the new young life, struggling in this dark hell on earth. In my opinion, the child should not take the blame for the parents' unfortunate life, the child should be the sublimation of the parents' life, not the Zane parents who never wanted the child to be a good person; every child should be an angel spilled on the earth, and should be born in the pure, warm, clean environment, not a piece of shit like the world; every life should be in the expectation and blessing of the sound of the arrival, not the bedtime of uninvited guests; if there is no such thing as an uninvited guest, then why should the new young life struggle in this dark hell on earth? If you don't have the ability to make the lives of those who come to this world because of us live happily and with dignity, I still advise people to be careful.
I don't understand why some people would choose to "Dink", because the child is so lovely, so full of hope, so people are so excited, is the witness that we are alive, but also alive to the goal of the struggle. As I grow older and see more, I realize that children are much more than that to us. Watched a "Venus Show", the interview guest is Liu Jialing, host Venus asked about the topic of children, Liu Jialing said that there was a time when she very much wanted children, the reason is that it is like a woman's hand a bag, the child is a woman's standard. Later, she agreed with her husband, Tony Leung, on the issue of children: children are a responsibility, and raising them poorly has too great an impact on public figures, so they chose to be a family of Dinks. There is also Li Jian, a former member of the Waterwood Carnival, who once had a netizen say: you guys have such good genes, if you don't have kids, wouldn't it be a waste of time? Li Jian replied that I don't think my genes are that good. Children are a social responsibility and a personal choice. This group of people who choose to do Dink is a kind of extraordinary existence, with the current very fashionable expression is "tide".
In contrast to the Dinks, there is another group of people who believe that children are a gift of destiny, a gift of grace, like Zane's mother, who got pregnant after the death of her daughter, Saha, and called it "God's gift". It was her mother's words that enraged Zane, "You're stabbing me in the heart", and Zane despaired, "All I remember is the violence, the insults, the beatings, the chains, the tubes and the belts. The softest words I ever heard were, "Get out, you son of a bitch. Get out, you piece of shit." Parents endlessly giving birth to nothing more than one more carpet-like child like Zane to be stepped on forever, with tragedy repeating itself on a predictable scale, and that's what's so tragic about it. The poorer you are, the more you are born, and the more you are born, the poorer you are. It's like a spell, caught in a deadly cycle. Once, because of my work, I came into contact with a scoundrel who was idle all day long and had nothing to do, and his favorite thing to do was to mingle with the circle of square-dancing mothers and seduce women of good families. He was about forty years old, his wife was said to have died of illness, and he brought up four children, the oldest ten years old, the youngest three years old. Whenever there is no money to spend, he takes his four children to the government leader's office to sit on the floor, and puts on a show that he will not leave until he pays the money. This trick really works! A few times three times down, the town's minimum subsistence guarantee, relief for the needy once a month, and a variety of condolences are tilted to his family. A few times to go to the sympathy, do not see his person, see a little older children, boiled a pot of thin soup noodles, to the smaller children to share food. These children spread such a father, the man can be said to be God's reward, the child has become a sympathy, extortion tool, in addition to not trafficking in flesh and blood, he did not do things nobler than the traffickers to where. Ignorant children born in such a family, the future and fate is worrying, want them to have a valuable, dignified life, is simply a luxury.
? For the children, I believe that the vast majority of people are in the heart of love, the heart of the good, but does not rule out the name of love, the implementation of kidnapping, kidnapping the child's right to choose their own life. Especially our traditional Confucian culture, too y rooted. In order to promote the culture of filial piety, it is the parents of the birth of kindness to the supreme position, such as weeping bamboo shoots, lying on the ice to seek carp, heard the thunder sobbing tomb and other allusions, and even the mediator pushed to cut the meat to feed his mother such a story. The logic of filial piety culture: you even life is parents, what is not parents. At an age when I was not yet capable of discernment, I was convinced by this theory. But nowadays it's different: some of our destinies are predetermined by the way we live in the world, from the moment we croak. From this perspective, it is the parents who should say sorry. They have born us into an imperfect world without our permission.
? I once read a sentence in a book: the relationship between parents and children is just a meeting of life and life, and after a brief intersection, each is at peace. I like this sentence, rational, pertinent, there is not so much return and owe each other, intertwined and independent. The deepest part of human nature dislikes is the endless debt of repayment and bowing. Parents raise their children in the weak, children support their parents in the old, human nature, why impose the logic of owe and grace? If we don't feel indebted to our parents, will we categorically say no when faced with their interference in our lives? If parents do not expect their children's "crows to feed", then the face of the old, sick and disabled in their old age, will not save for a rainy day? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do it.
? In short, parents and children have limited responsibilities and obligations to each other, to leave space for each other, to make room for more freedom in life. I hope that my children, can feel our hard work and not easy, do not want them to carry the heavy cross of debt, looking forward to their light load, spread their wings and soar, live a life that should be the style.