Because my own experience is deeper, what I say with myself is more real than what I say with other people's chestnuts, and what I say from my heart is more convincing.
On the one hand, I feel distressed about my present state, and at the same time, I am more powerful because of this.
Because I can't control myself, I am completely "disobedient". When I make a decision, I will do it when I feel comfortable, maybe I want to do it for a second, but I ignore it. The next second, I won't do it. I didn't think about it. Everything else has been ignored, and I can say that I am unable to cope.
It's like riding a horse with you, but he can run as he wants, run as he wants, and stop on the cliff for a ride. You can't control it. Pretty scary.
Practical actions are very powerful, for example, don't be afraid to tell the truth because you take care of others' feelings. The inner language has changed from carefully holding back and pretending not to care-I want to say, love or not. If you don't accept it, you can go. If I can't accept my normal request, I don't have to give you anything else.
Every time I want to back down and choose not to care, I think, that's what I am. I can't even control myself, but I have to give control to others. I have to pay the price, care about others' feelings and ignore my own. What time? I won't. Why do you do this for others? !
Be true to yourself, shout from your mouth to be as firm as possible without hostility, and resolutely safeguard your own interests, even a little.
Kindness is given to people who have the same kind behavior to me. This person is not so kind, just taking over and asking. I will do the same, answer blows with blows, and be more polite than others, so that others will not do this to me again.
So even small things, people around me have to ask me before they can use them.
Others were surprised and even labeled me too real. I think it's nothing. Am I important or are they important? I am very important. In my heart, I am very important.
Rethinking, the person who can set this label is the kind of person who doesn't understand interpersonal relationships. Like me before, I abandoned this, and there is no need to care about and agree with that attitude.
I sent myself away with a sentence "I can't see you when I look up", and I used to endure it so much. Now think about it. Are you that cheap? I dare say other people's feelings are more expensive. Why don't others worry about your feelings because of this sentence? Yes, if you look up, you won't see it Why doesn't TA think so? Don't even consider TA, squander the good impression of TA.
To put it bluntly, that's what TA did to you. Why do you have to sell your goodwill and feelings at low prices again and again?
The people you love, the people who love you, and the people who are kind to you are all accused of being ignored because you vomit blood to others and because you want to keep a psychological balance, so they should pay for you. You give your treasures to others at will, thinking that others will return your equally important treasures. You are ashamed of those who love you and treat you well, and you are angry with them to cover up this shyness. Because you can't give them any more treasures and don't want to admit your incompetence, you become angry from embarrassment and fight back first.
It can almost be such an image-a person kneeling on the ground, holding up the "deed of sale" with both hands, bowed his head and whispered, "Empress/Emperor, please drive away the old minister/concubine at will, and the old minister/concubine has no complaints." Of course, whether you have it in your heart is another matter.
Thinking that I used to be like this, I don't want to retreat, I don't want to retreat, I just want to move forward.
Is there anyone in the toilet? I don't ask myself, I ask the third person, what is TA doing in it? It seems that there is an enchantment around TA. When you open your mouth, not only others can't hear you, but you are also a fool who treats yourself like a cat's paw but has no voice. You will also get hurt because what you say bounces back from the surface of the boundary, or when it comes out, the other party will bomb you with disgruntled bombs, so it is very important to talk or not.
I used to do the same thing, because I was always afraid to talk about it. On the surface, it seems that I am forcing others with my mouth open, so I am forcing myself with my mouth closed.
When I asked people around me about some boring behavior towards someone, I said, do you think TA is pitiful? They said no, but the message they sent me was not "no" but acquiescence.
Now I told that person that your behavior has disturbed us, and I don't want to. I'm sorry, but I also made my attitude clear: What's the use of talking? You've done it. Just say you're sorry and continue next time.
They were there all the time, without saying a word. This gave me and TA more information, "We don't care, or we feel sorry for TA", so we chose not to even talk and let TA bother us.
They also hate this kind of behavior in private, hate it, and then they are occupied, and then they choose to ignore and acquiesce in each other's behavior and continue next time. They don't know that it is their own acquiescence that makes the other party feel again and again, oh ~ you can bear it, then I will go further and test your bottom line.
When someone meets a boss who encroaches on his time, he doesn't need to discuss things after work at all, and he has to reply while complaining after work.
If it's urgent or something. If you are not in a hurry, you are not the only way for the other party to go. You just think it's convenient to ask you, and then pick it clean, and you always do your work seriously. The rest, if you are a workaholic, love yourself, accept if you want, and refuse if you don't want. How does he know you must be watching it on your mobile phone? Just reply. Sorry, I have something personal right now. We'll talk about it at work.
Some people always encounter wonderful things. I want to say, it's not that you always encounter wonderful things, but when you don't realize that you need to safeguard your own interests, and even sometimes you have to haggle over every penny, then you will be surrounded by all kinds of wonders. Even in different environments, there will be an updated version of the wonderful work around you.
Wonderful and picky boss, the salary depends on pushing a little.
He always said that the salary would not come back after a few months, and the other party delayed it again and again, and even bluntly said: I will give it to whoever urges me now. However, TA herself did not live in a cheap house because of this, but lived alone in a room of 4,000 yuan/month. It's rented by one person, two months cheaper than a suite, expensive, large suite and convenient surrounding conditions. However, when she faced us, she only complained about how there were such people. In fact, TA's current rent is enough to pay her salary. TA has a job and a continuous income, which is not high but not low.
Actually, I told her last year that you have to give TA a deadline and explain what will happen if you fail to do so. For example, report to the public security bureau, such as asking TA's ex-partner, such as consulting a lawyer. At present, you can receive good treatment advice online for up to tens of dollars. For example, if you haven't given it by the deadline, you ask your parents for it and pretend to ask them for it. If it's me, if I can't say it myself, I'll find a powerful person and pretend that my parents, friends and relatives are all named TA, but it's also a slap in the face. I'm working, I'm in the dark, change my mobile phone number to continue. If you want to work, you must keep your promise and pay the price.
This is not immoral, but he is ruthless first. Not only do you not honor it, but you also hack it and hide it, which is more irritating and more reasonable! If you want to be a scholar, you are doomed to never return. If you don't know the law and toughness, even the most basic bottom line will be trampled. Because your bottom line is no bottom line.
All she did was accept the promised deadline. She feels that the other person is not such a person at ordinary times, but now the situation is special.
As a result, the other party stood me up and pulled her black.
Until a few days ago this year, I took a line from a cartoon and told her: If you meet a hooligan, you will use hooliganism. Not everyone is so easygoing, but they are all gentlemen.
Actually, I have something to say in my heart. Even if the same person respects your border in many cases, does not encroach on your interests, does not squander your goodwill, and will encroach on it at some point, then he still has to safeguard his own interests.
Don't always say ta when facing the current facts. Usually people are not bad. Even if you pull the feelings, the other party also pulls the feelings, which is good for you, but that's just using the feelings, not cherishing the feelings, cherishing this relationship. Then, TA doesn't care, so why do you care about this relationship?
This is TA's emotional chip to blackmail you. It is not a sincere emotional bond to kidnap you with emotion, so that's it.
Nowadays, it is rare to meet a wonderful flower that treats each other sincerely but has been repeatedly violated. The person who made it clear that he didn't want to disturb me met a dark horse. In reality, I will politely repay the other party for what they have done to me, and revoke the previous comity until the other party respects my bottom line and stops interfering.
This is what I really do. Even if we used to be friends, we didn't owe anything, and it immediately became black. Because if the other person doesn't wake up, it's hard for you to wake him up and tell him not to do so. When the other party doesn't realize that this is encroachment, no matter what you say, he will say yes and continue next time.
Until you stand up for yourself, the other party will not see where your boundary line is and clearly realize the consequences of crossing your line, and the warning light "You can't cross your line" will appear in the other party's mind. Whenever TA wants to cross the line, the prompt light will light up: don't cross the line, think about the consequences, and you will be slapped if you don't eat good fruit.
You tell the drunk that you should walk straight, not sideways. If you are not safe, it will make it difficult for others to walk. The drunk will say yes and continue to walk crooked.
Unless you wake up with a slap, a pot of cold water is poured on your head, such as real cold water. For example, his beloved Alaska ran away and became the news of stray dogs. When you saw it, the dog was so embarrassed that he was told that his money was suddenly gone, or that unless you have the strength to feed him, you can still bear part of his weight along the way, and you must resist his crooked strength. But he won't wake up just because you support him. He's not drunk.
My experience is don't push yourself, you can't save others except yourself.
So, wake up, dear yourself.
If you have a boundary line, show it.
You may also like to keep boundaries, start from yourself and use "obedient" carefully.