People in old age, their own children are not filial, the evening is bleak, but, "there is no love without a reason, there is no hate without a reason", any feelings are not produced for no reaso
People in old age, their own children are not filial, the evening is bleak, but, "there is no love without a reason, there is no hate without a reason", any feelings are not produced for no reason. In fact, the root cause of the children's lack of filial piety, there are only three points:
1, the old man himself is not filial piety to their own elderly, self-inflicted.
Some old people, when they are young, they think their old man is a burden, never filial piety. The years go by, and when they are old, they don't have a family tradition of honoring their elders, and their children start not honoring them.
There is an old man, the son of his unfilial, open-mouthed scolding. The old man was not angry, said: "You scold me, I am your father"! The son also said: "I scolded you are still good it, when you were young, but also hit my grandfather it! A sentence, choked him speechless.
2, the old man over-indulged their children, improper education.
Some old people, excessive pampering of their children, in the mouth for fear of melting, in the hand for fear of breaking, they ate all the hard work, but do not want to children suffer a little bit of aggression. So that the children in the process of growing up, the formation of selfishness, domineering and brutal character, no responsibility, no responsibility, no love, one day, they are not useful, naturally, will be the children's dislike.
3, the old man was a bad parent when he was young and lacked love for his children.
Some old people, although young parents, but incompetent, did not fulfill the obligation to raise, teach their children, their own behavior is problematic, not a good person. Therefore, when the children grow up, there is no affection between the two sides, and the parents have a very bad impression in the minds of the children. Such parents, the children simply do not have any grace to feel, after the old, want to let the children filial piety, but also become a kind of luxury.
Yesterday, in front of the shopping mall at the rest, I met an old lady, and a middle-aged sister chatting about their own children, while saying, while shivering and wiping tears.
The old lady is eighty years old, back hump, hands are shivering, from the supermarket to buy a bucket of ten pounds of cooking oil, buy some carrots, onions, potatoes, to the son called, let the son rushed over to pick up, the son said that there is something wrong with the unit can not come out, so she took a taxi home, so the old lady on the other side of the older sister cried and said that her children dislike her, do not care about her, his hand is not good, not to take it back. The old lady then cried to her elder sister, saying that her children disliked her and didn't care about her, and that she couldn't take it back because her hands weren't good. The older sister said that in the future, these things let the children buy, she said, the children bought her not satisfied. The first time I saw this, I was able to see the old man's face, and I was able to see his face.
The first impression of my heart was that her children were too much, the old lady was eighty, and let her come out to buy things by herself. However, I later calmed down and thought, I remembered the old lady said the words, children to buy things she felt do not call the heart.
Filial piety is our traditional virtue, our laws provide that children have the obligation to support their parents.
But when people reach old age, why do many old people say their children are not filial?
First, the children's life is very stressful, busy work, accompanied by less time, the elderly feel lonely and neglected.
Second, the elderly do not have pensions, and their children are overburdened and do not want to bear the cost of living or medical expenses.
Third, the elderly are overly picky and are not used to their children's habits, which often leads to conflicts when they live together.
Fourth, the children were spoiled from childhood, which made them self-centered and irresponsible.
Fifth, the frequent occurrence of old-age problems in multi-children families is mostly due to the children's dissatisfaction with some of the practices of the elderly, or the children's shirking of responsibilities among themselves, resulting in a situation in which one monk has a drink of water, two monks carry a drink of water, and three monks do not have a drink of water.
I have a friend beside me, my sister does not work, after the divorce with children living in her mother's house all the year round, relying on her parents' pension to live, my friend many times to persuade her sister to find a job were choked back. Every time my friend went home, his father said that the economy was tight and that he didn't have enough money to spend, but then he turned around and subsidized all the money for his second daughter and nephew. And he also told everyone that my friend didn't visit him. The friend said also very sad.
So is it really true that many children are not filial? After all, our thousands of years of traditional virtues. I personally feel that from the heart not filial parents or a very small minority. Here I have a few suggestions for parents.
First, do not be too harsh on your children, children buy what they say like, not accustomed to children's habits, can be treated as invisible, they take care of their own body is most important.
Secondly, parents of families with many children must pay attention to the balance of the relationship between the children, sometimes a decision of the parents is the children's conflict trigger.
Third, if the children really do not honor their parents, parents can take up the legal weapon to defend their rights.
In fact, the most important thing in old age is health, and this health is not only physical health, but also mental health.
Finally, I wish all the elderly people in the world good health and longevity.
Often see some old people to cry to people their children are not filial, and in reality, there are many people do not filial behavior. Let's say many years ago, Shandong Tai'an, an octogenarian to the Spring Festival, because no one to take care of Ou, go to his son to ask for a bowl of noodles to eat, the result was the son and daughter-in-law hanging on the beam whip, and finally hate to go.
However, all kinds of unfilial behavior is condemned at the same time, but few old people to reflect on their own. The old man never realized that his children were unfilial, and perhaps he was the instigator of all this.
Let's take an example from life: one of my neighbors has a son, and perhaps for this reason, he loves his son so much that he loves him too much until he is over the fire and becomes arrogant. No matter what, in reason or not, are centered on their son, the result is that the son spoiled into a selfish, self-centered, ungrateful people. The old couple's life is very miserable, the old couple's retired salary every month to be spent by the son of all, sometimes because of the pocket no money, have to accept the neighbors of the succor.
Everyone says that the old couple is in the hands of an unfilial son, but how come no one asks - who made this unfilial son?
This is just one example, in fact, there are many other reasons for children to be unfilial, for example, some parents have a very serious style of parenting, domestic violence against children from childhood, and there are also parents in the children's middle of the serious bias 、、、、、、 All of this, there is the possibility of creating unfilial children.
Another analogy: there is an aunt, her daughter in elementary school when she stole a classmate's things, who knows that the past years, she is a mother but do not forget. Later, her daughter was admitted to a major university in Beijing, the aunt but wantonly blocked, insisting that her daughter is a thief, not qualified to go to college. Later, the daughter in their high school homeroom teacher's help, broke through the mother's obstruction, went to college, graduated and stayed in Beijing as a teacher, until the marriage to start a family, all refused to see their mothers. And this aunt and yell around, saying that they gave birth to a white-eyed wolf, ungrateful daughter - ask the discerning, such an end of the blame who?
So, when we are unfortunate enough to have children who are unfilial, don't forget to reflect on yourself.
Their own children are unfilial, this should not be unfilial for no reason, people say that parents are the best role model for children, first of all, introspection to reflect on their own parents or in-laws, as well as other old people at home unfilial or disrespectful? If you yourself are like this, then you can not blame the child on your ungrateful, this is called a kind of pick up kind, retribution.
If you have a good family style, the child is growing up in a very educated, respectful environment. When you are old, it is impossible for your own children not to be filial to you.
People in old age, their children are not filial, this is the most fundamental reason, of course, you are the parents of the education problem. From childhood, do not pay attention to the education in this area, or their own problems, the words taught by example.
First, from the childhood education problem, filial piety and respect for parents, respect for the elderly this Chinese five thousand years of fine tradition. And parents do not know how to educate their children, a spoiled, no principle to meet the requirements of the child, desire; did not establish a good family style, found a small problem, not to correct, slowly brewed into a bad character.
Second, they do not know filial piety, their parents do not know filial piety, teach by example, so that the children do not know filial piety, "do what will be returned ." Your disrespect to your parents, the same will not be missed at all, and even intensified to return to you. This is not to be blamed.
Third, parents love their children in the wrong way, in the wrong way, bringing harm to them. Such as, and do not go to understand their ideas, feelings, a mandatory instillation of their own practices, their own choice for them to go, so that the children resent, do not respect their thoughts and personality, and when they grow up, must still be from the heart to reject you, even if the heart wants to love you, and in life is still resistant to show and uncooperative, but also can not talk about filial piety.
Fourth, too materialistic children, today's society, rapid economic development, what is material-based, material filled with the whole life. Ideas naturally also materialized, such as, often with material to reward the child, with material to comfort the child, that when the child is full of mind to the interests of the time, affection will become diluted, tasteless.
In short, people to the old age, only to find that the children are not filial piety, is their own education of all the errors, but it is too late, that all to blame for their own, improper education, brewing the consequences of the can taste.
In real life, many elderly people in accordance with their own wishes, live a happy life, family harmony, and some elderly people, but things are not what they want, children are not filial, can be described as a miserable evening. The main reason for this is that the elderly for children's teachings, can lead by example, education, influence children in the direction of the development of good, in the ability to understand the wisdom of life, will not do a not obnoxious old man.
Parents are the best teachers of children, children in the process of growing up, subconsciously influenced by parents. If you want your children to know how to honor themselves, then you must set an example, honor the elderly, and play an exemplary role in educating and influencing the children.
A family where the parents express their views on things or people with bigoted words and decadent emotions, the children will also feel this way of dealing with the problems, and will also be restless and easily nervous. If you are a parent who often fights, swearing, cold violence, etc., the child subconsciously, aggressive, irrational, rude in dealing with things, or do not accept communication, do not accept cooperation.
If parents are warm and kind to friends and neighbors, and filial and sincere to the elderly, the child remembers not what the parents said, but how the child's eyes see how the parents behave in the world. If parents lead by example, treat people, life, and everything with love everywhere, and do a good job of modeling for their children, the children will know what works, and love will take root in their children.
Elderly people should not interfere with their children's lives, so that everyone lives easily and happily. Different concepts of life always exist, the elderly do not need to argue, to learn the wisdom of life, learn to pretend to be confused.
If conditions allow, the elderly and children are best to live separately. The elderly to fundamentally recognize that they are really old, do not use the inherent thinking and concepts of the requirements of the child, do not think that it should be centered on you, to fully implement your instructions, listen to your wishes. To face the times with a positive and optimistic mindset. The past is not entangled, the present is not troubled, for the future, do not fight, do not grab, not angry, do well for yourself, delight everyone, do not be obnoxious.
The old man wants to be happy in his old age, he must have a healthy body, to have an independent source of economic resources. To have a good body and reduce the burden of children, it is necessary to strengthen the appropriate exercise to increase immunity. You can go out for a walk, stroll through the supermarket, help to add some daily necessities, laundry and cooking, with the children as a pleasure of life; or look at the book, read the newspaper, share the national affairs of the world; dancing, practicing tai chi, chatting about oil and salt, firewood and rice; all kinds of flowers, raising grass, cultivating and enjoying the mood. Also have a correct attitude, do not engage in crooked ways, do not add to the trouble of the children. You can also learn unknown knowledge, broaden their horizons, do not let yourself idle, to be old and happy.
At the same time, they have to have an independent economy, to have their own small treasury, or to buy an insurance policy that allows them to easily cope with daily expenses. The most important thing to remember is that the children will not be able to withstand the torture of a bedridden old man, because they have their own lives, and they will not be able to cope with the pain of the old man.
If there are two children, the old man should try to do a bowl of water end of the level, can not love one anorexia one. Crying children have milk to eat, sweet-talking, do what you want to do with your child, you will be more like, what is good are prioritized to him, on the contrary, reticent, rebellious, do things always with you to do the right child, you have to be almost on him, such bias, will only become the main cause of future family conflicts.
The child is smart, do what parents do, he insight, although he did not say once or twice, no opinion, but three or four times? Even if he is generous, do not care about everything parents, but there is no guarantee that he became a family after the other half did not complain or hate. If the old man can do a fair deal, no matter how big or small, all equally, do the children will not understand not filial piety?
Regardless of whether you come from a noble or poor background, an old man can do consistently educate and influence his children to develop in the right direction, be warm and kind, kind and kind, strict discipline, leniency, not to rely on the old, and be able to put himself in the shoes of other people, he will be welcomed by everyone. I sincerely hope that every old man, see more and learn more, improve their own quality, strengthen their own cultivation, to be an old man, old and happy.
Think about your own filial piety over their parents? The parents' words and deeds in the family life will affect the next generation of children's living condition. The first thing you need to do is to teach your parents how to do their jobs!
Before answering this question, I'd like to tell you a story about a man from my hometown, Mr. Li.
The first thing I'd like to say is that I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm sure I'm not going to be able to do it.
Although moncler jackets outlet online the company is still in good shape, it has a few problems with the way it operates. The first time I saw this was when I was a student at the University of California, Berkeley, and I was a student at the University of California, Berkeley, and I was a student at the University of California, Berkeley, and I was a student at the University of California, Berkeley.
On a good day, you can earn 4 or 50 bucks, but on a bad day, you can earn a few bucks. I often meet him outside, pushing a cart, limping slowly, and I feel sorry for him, but he's a poor man.
According to the son of moncler outlet online, moncler jackets outlet online he was a good boy, not a good boy, not a good boy, not a good boy, not a good boy, not a good boy, not a good boy, not a good boy, not a good boy, not a good boy.
And moncler outlet store is a very face, often outside bragging about how much they did how many things, in fact, not at all, for these past, moncler outlet store the son is quite a complaint.
moncler outlet online
The daughter-in-law said, although the old man a handful of years, but very do not love clean, summer so hot weather, a day do not wash a bath, exudes a kind of sour smell, clothes are dirty discoloration will not be changed, and he lived in his own hut, but it is also very messy, things are piled up all over the place.
A white bed mosquito net with black do not know wash, every day out to pick up garbage itself is dirty, come back and do not clean up a bit, hand black on the table directly to eat, she really can not stand a little bit, said many times do not change, but also once helped to clean a few times, but not long to return to its original state, she really is the heart is not able to, do not want to manage again.
Now moncler outlet online, although the son and daughter-in-law live together, but the meal is not eaten together, are doing their own, and then live in a small corner of the house inside.
Through moncler outlet store the story we can see that basically most of the children are filial to the elderly, but because some of the elderly young people made some mistakes, so that the children can not unravel the knot, or is older, some of the faults can not be changed, and even leaning on the old man, always thinking about how many children want to dip their hands in the light.
In fact, the more so, the more children are away from the old people a little bit, on the contrary, those who are thinking of their children in all aspects of the elderly, well-dressed, hygienic, do not want to children to give them how much they can move when they never thought of relying on others.
Such old people are more respected by their children, and they will buy things to visit them on New Year's Day.
So ah, we have to be self-reliant at all times in order to be loved, the old man, do not always expect to raise children to prevent old age, the children have their own life, do not interfere everywhere, can eat their own words that is the best, there is a sense of boundaries between each other, but can make people more close to each other.
Some of them are because the elderly health time, do not know how they will be old, they can be too dejected, do not give a little leeway, some of them meet those black conscience of the children, so that can not be argued together
People to the old age, their own children are not filial piety, the root cause, I think, the wife is not virtuous, the son is not filial piety, can not be ruled also. According to me and the elderly chatting, the existence of the reasons are manifold, the main reasons are as follows;
First, the son is not filial, the father and son over, because the parents are the child's unforgettable good 搒ample, the child's error root cause lies in the adults did not teach well. With the Chinese five-year tradition of unending education, the child's words and deeds are visiting what adults do, to learn and grow up. Hundred good filial piety first, first of all, you must be good to filial piety to your parents, in the child phantom small mind planted a good influence, when you are old, can not walk, they grew up, it is natural to go to filial piety to you. On the contrary, you have unfilial behavior to your old man, the child treats you the same.
Second, "the beginning of man, nature is good", parents and their children to establish a kind of friendship, do not often go to scold and hurt them. In particular, the child has grown up with self-compliance, the opposite of its reverse, do not arbitrarily throw up and alienate them, a good understanding of the child's psychological aspirations, to create a good environment for growth, they will be grateful, in favor of the harmony of the body and mind, the harmony of the family's sense of responsibility.
Third, in today's will, because, are born a child, due to the phenomenon of the teaching of birth spoiled more Pu Bian. Hope that the son of a dragon hope, but turned into a rebellious son, five poisonous, so that adults chilled, can not be cured, too late to regret. To know today, why than at first. Must strictly grasp the early education of children, imperative.
So, people to old age, fool to their own children are not filial, do not have too much to complain, because you do not pay much, the harvest is very little, you raise them small, they will certainly raise you old. Everyone has the responsibility to honor the elderly, which is the traditional concept of being a son or daughter is obliged to do.