Not long ago, Auntie Li's grandson celebrated his first full moon, and the scene was as lively as a normal family feast.
While her daughter-in-law Xiaojun went downstairs to see off her friends, Auntie Li was holding her thin child, and her face was difficult to open up to the arrival of the relatives in spite of the mode, "Not a mother-in-law do not know, it's really not good to be. The child was born prematurely, and was sent to the intensive care unit as soon as he was born, and only after he was discharged from the hospital did he start to breastfeed. However, at first, the skinny child could not suckle the breast milk, and cried out in hunger. I couldn't bear to see the baby cry, so I gave him formula milk. A month down the line, the child has not eaten a few times. Take the matter of formula feeding, Xiaojun is now in accordance with the parenting books, every hour to feed the child, our hometown where such, the child is hungry wailing, when the mother will bear it? The child only grows so much in a month, and if you say it's too much, people are not happy. Alas, it is really difficult to say ah." Finished, the same when the mother-in-law of a few aunts feel the same way, you talk about the daughter-in-law together with a variety of forests. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a conversation with my daughter-in-law, and she said, "I don't know what to say, but I don't know what to say.
Speaking, Auntie Li's son staggered to the room, drunk, he was lying on a chair, how to shout and shout not to wake up. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a long journey, and I was so happy to see that I was able to get to know the people who were there. The gesture of that vigor, let a person have the illusion that her thirty-something son as if a moment back to infancy. Her daughter-in-law Xiaojun, however, stood helplessly watching all this.
02
Auntie Wang brought her little granddaughter to that wedding banquet. It was her second daughter-in-law's child.
A few years ago, a bloodbath between her and her former daughter-in-law LILY ignited from the birth of her eldest grandchild. LILY and her husband were often angry, and the house was full of smoke. LILY was impatient with the child's education, and sometimes punched and kicked when she was in a hurry. The child was already rebellious at a young age. Auntie Wang is not accustomed to her daughter-in-law LILY's behavior, quarrels constantly, the family conflict has also escalated. She was unable to control her son, her grandchildren, or her daughter-in-law, but she was unwilling to do so and complained to everyone. Soon, the son's marriage came to an end.
Later, the son met RUI and got married again. The son loved his new daughter-in-law very much. After the birth of their daughter, the two became even closer. She likes to have a moody life, he took her in and out of upscale restaurants around the world, to the tropical seaside vacation, life is gorgeous and colorful. At first, Auntie Wang also praised her daughter-in-law, but after a long time, the new daughter-in-law's various not from her mouth again. The Auntie Wang is not accustomed to her daughter-in-law's extravagant life, buy things with a large amount of money, but also to her stick too tight to the mother's family quite a bit of criticism.
That day, she took her granddaughter at the banquet, a strong chatter: "This child's mother and grandma spoiled her, I don't know if it's okay to let her eat, will not have diarrhea, to her to bring a bad child, go back to the little RUI should be unhappy again ...... "
03
Friend Linlin mentioned her mother-in-law, Auntie Zhang, is a face of helplessness. Ever since she got married, her mother-in-law has started a battle with Linlin. The object of that battle is of course her husband Daming, the mother-in-law's only son.
Although her son Daming has been married for many years, his mom is constantly attached to him. Every day when it's time to eat, the young couple will receive a phone call from the old lady on time to remind them to come home for dinner. Even on days off, the young couple's private time is not guaranteed, because mom is calling again.
Once, instead of going back to her mother-in-law's house as usual, the two Linlin's went to her mother's house for dinner. Her husband's cousin called, but it was her mother-in-law who assigned her, trying to find out the truth behind her not coming home for dinner. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that.
After several years of marriage, the two did not have children. Once, Linlin returned to his home, found that the house was cleaned once. It turned out that the mother-in-law did not inform them, took the spare key to their house without authorization to make the rounds. Lynn almost broke down that time.
04
There is a group of square dance enthusiasts in the neighborhood, and one of them, Auntie Wu, is the leader. She is cheerful and optimistic, often with a smile on her face. But those who are familiar with her know that her partner has a cerebral thrombosis, action limp. She is happy to be with him, and seldom complains about his hard work in front of people.
When her son and daughter-in-law were not at home, Auntie Wu played with her seven-year-old grandson, Zhuang Zhuang, and accompanied him to practice the piano. The family's relationship is peaceful and harmonious, and I have never heard her complain about her son or daughter-in-law.
A neighbor asked, "You have only one son and one grandson, why don't you let your daughter-in-law have a second child?"
She smiled and replied, "One generation doesn't care about two generations, it's their own business, they want to be, don't want to think about it, don't have it, I care so much about what to do. Now I'm still in good health, when you need my help, you can bring your grandchildren. After serving the old man, nothing else, I'll dance with everyone in the square, happy.
......
Mother-in-laws and daughters-in-law are strangers without blood relations, in order to a **** the same "love" together. Then why some people are so fond of each other, and some of them are so hateful to each other?
First put aside the daughter-in-law this side of the reason not to say, one of the important reasons that is, some mothers-in-law border sense of loss, not carry the responsibility, can not let go of the attachment. A load of carry can't put, will be the harmony of the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship should be destroyed.
Auntie Li has a certain sense of boundaries, but the responsibility is not clear enough, which is why she feels that it is difficult to be a mother-in-law. Since her son and daughter-in-law have already started a family, they are the masters of their small home, and it is their own responsibility to take care of their children, which is only right, and the scene of taking care of her drunken son as if he were a toddler is due to the fact that she can't let go of him. Auntie Li hadn't even treated her son, who was already an adult, as an independent person. As for daughter-in-law Xiaojun, although she is a new mother, but should be brave to take on the responsibility of being a mother, her husband is drunk but stood by the side of the helpless shows that she still need to practice.
Auntie Wang is a typical example of a person who has gone to the border and can't get it right or let it go. She's not confident about feeding her young child, but she's a Chinese-style mother-in-law who can't do it. She knows she can't do anything about it, but she doesn't want her son to take her daughter-in-law's side. It's sad and pathetic that she can't get along with both of her daughters-in-law, so there must be a reason for that.
Auntie Zhang, on the other hand, is on the wrong side of the borderline further and further away, she has a very strong monopoly mentality and strong behavior, and even can not be described as "confused and can not let go". This kind of mother who is obsessed with her son is scary and dangerous. She treats her son as her own private property, and even uses moral abduction to threaten her child, so that her son has become tired of the family.
Auntie Wu, is the most liberal and most able to carry the most clear put down, so her daughter-in-law, son is easy lucky, the family relationship is harmonious.
Many years of daughter-in-law into a grandmother, which has experienced how much frost, after how many years of baptism, through how many vicissitudes of life. Aging and outdated is inevitable. The wrinkles on their faces, their old faces, and their unhealthy physical condition will indeed give people the feeling that the river has gone to the east and the waves have been exhausted, and that the people who count the wind and streams of life are watching the present day. As a daughter-in-law, treat your mother-in-law with respect, have the same tolerance as your own children, and try to put yourself in your mother-in-law's shoes.
As a mother-in-law, if you face these realities openly, try to approach new ideas, try to understand the young people, perhaps there will not be so much whining and complaining. If you let go at the age when you should let go, and pull out when you should pull out, maybe you won't have so much to look at. On the contrary, can not recognize what they should what should not do, not willing to face the reality to admit that they are outdated, unwilling and unwilling to let go, this is to destroy the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship and even the family's happiness of the tumor.
The best state of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not close, but to maintain a certain distance of respect. Each other clear which boundaries can not be exceeded, understand what things to do, what things absolutely do not do, everything has concessions and trade-offs, mutual understanding and mutual tolerance, from the ideal mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship is not far away.