"I don't want to come to Shanghai, I live in a small place and I don't have any acquaintances. My son and daughter-in-law are not at home every day, so I'm bored at home. I'm not sure I understand what the locals are saying, but I'd rather be in my hometown, where I can still play cards and chat with my old friends. But the son does not allow to go back, the old partner died early, the son does not rest assured that I am alone in the old home. I have to take me and their young couple to live together, not bad, or feel uncomfortable."
A spoke with a Sichuan side of the accent of the Zhang aunt said with a sad face.
"Yes, yes, yes. I live with my children, help them to do this and that, and I am exhausted, but in the end, it is not good. After retirement I have become a son in law full-time nanny, get up early in the morning every day to burn breakfast, buy food, burn vegetables, give them a good lunch for the young couple to bring to the unit to eat. We will just pass ourselves off, and in the afternoon, we have to go shopping again, prepare dinner, and wait for them to come back to eat. Alas, I wanted to retire to enjoy the happiness, but now make more tired than work. This is not to mention the son in law's frequent instructions."
Auntie Xie, who has been retired for two years, chimed in.
"Haha, old Xie at first I let you listen to me, you do not listen to it. Now know regret it." Auntie Huang, who has been playing well with Auntie Xie, laughed and said.
It turns out that they are all relocated households, hands divided into three houses, are in our neighborhood. After the house in hand, Auntie Huang advised Auntie Xie, do not live with her son and daughter-in-law. They live alone, so they are free and free from many conflicts.
Auntie Xie would have liked to do this, but then found that the house is very tight, a lot of people to rent a house, the price is also very high. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new car, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new car, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new car, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new car.
The son in law also advised Auntie Xie, a family in a neighborhood still live separately, more trouble ah, but also increase expenses.
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world who has been in the same situation as me.
Auntie Huang is not, she and her partner live alone in a one-room house, the big house to the son in law to live. Usually the son in law often go over to see them, ask if there is anything to do, what is missing to buy. If there is something to do, they come over quickly by phone, and they get together on New Year's Day and festivals, and they are very polite and lively. The in-laws sometimes go to the son's side to live a few days, so everyone is happy.
Auntie Huang said: "If you live with the children, they are filial again, and will produce friction for a long time. And now the young people have their own way of life, some of us are inevitably the old ones are not accustomed to, together will inevitably interfere. Now this is quite good, we do not disturb them, they are at ease we are also happy."
"Raising children to prevent old age" has been our deep-rooted idea, the son became a family, to take the parents to live together is also become a natural thing. But can we ask our parents what they think in their hearts, and are they willing to do it?
Are you willing to work for your children all your life, and then tie them up with your children in their old age? We all say that our young people's thinking is changing rapidly, in fact, the parents are also. From the previous not "show your face" into the square dance now professional.
A lot of parents after retirement a lot of time, are spent in the care of grandchildren a generation on, because "children and grandchildren" is the traditional Chinese culture of the elderly happy an ideal. We are not against such a lifestyle, provided that the parents themselves are willing to choose to take care of their grandchildren, rather than the children take it for granted.
When I think of the many children who have children, I feel that in the future it is the parents' business to take care of their children, and the demand for parents is very justified, and more because the parents do not take the children to create a disconnect.
Listening to this side, I thought of my forgetful friend Auntie Zhang.
Auntie Zhang is also in her sixties, and she's one of the more transparent people I've ever met.
Her son has been married for several years, and his son in law has his own house. At first, the son and daughter-in-law wanted the aunt to go and live with them. But she didn't agree, saying that she didn't want to disturb them in their own world.
Usually, Auntie Zhang never said her daughter-in-law a "no", no matter what the place and occasion. She said: "The little girl married to my son, my son did not say anything, I'm a mom, what is the qualification to pick on people. Besides, I think my daughter-in-law is quite good, I just do other people's daughter-in-law performance is not as good as her."
One time, Auntie Zhang told me that her daughter-in-law had politely suggested to her that her mother would like to bring her child to their home.
I laughed and said, "How should I listen to this? Is it because I am afraid of your hard work or because I dislike you?"
Auntie Zhang did not think so, she said: "My attitude is casual son in law, but I said, daughter in law in menstruation must I take care of. The child who brought the same, people are also only child, grandmother thinking of bringing grandchildren is also normal. I am giving the Lord to the children, the children are theirs."
Auntie Zhang's retirement days are very colorful, often enrolled in groups to go out to play. At home, the daughter-in-law over, it will be a whim to do a variety of delicious, fill the daughter-in-law's stomach. Do not take the initiative to interfere with the daughter-in-law anything, daughter-in-law often boast: "mother-in-law than my mother is also good."
Auntie Zhang said that she has worked hard all her life, and she wants to live a little bit of her own life when she is old, and go out to have fun and see. In the past, there was no time to work, and now that you're retired, you don't want to be around your children, and your children and grandchildren will always have their children and grandchildren.
Give your parents the right to choose for themselves, so that they can live a little bit of the life they want after a lifetime of work for us.
When I went back to my hometown on New Year's Eve, my uncles and uncles said that I was not filial and had no conscience.
Because my parents are still working, my parents still have two or three years to 70 years old, in the eyes of other people, such an age should be living "with grandchildren, square dancing, playing cards and chatting" life.
But my mom and dad are still working. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a long journey, and it was a long time ago that I was in the middle of a long journey, and it was a long time ago that I was in the middle of a long journey, and it was a long time ago that I was in the middle of a long journey.
In fact, for this, our family held a few family meetings to discuss the parents so old, change to support them to go out to work.
I know very well that mom and dad are not working to make money, and all three of us are working, and it's not bad. Mom and Dad go to work purely to pass the time.
Dad said: "I am young, I know work, there is no hobby, do not like to play cards and so on, and now idle in the home, uncomfortable, might as well go to work, there are people to talk to, do some work is not tired."
Mom said, "I don't know how to square dance, and I don't want to. Now and your father together with the commute is quite good, the work is not heavy, but also know a lot of old sisters. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it, and I'm sure I'll be able to do it. Now that you're all out, I'd like to get a taste of work. I'm in good health, don't worry."
Our family is supposed to go with the open door policy, and with Mom and Dad saying that, and with my brother and I having been to the place of work and seeing that Mom and Dad are really fulfilled in their work, we didn't object.
I know that my uncles and uncles are for the good of my parents, and I feel sorry for my parents' health.
I know that my uncle is for the good of my parents, and he cares about my parents' health. I am also the same, so we all have "three rules", the health is not good, not happy, the workload increased immediately resigned.
A lot of people are forced to ask their parents to do things in order to make themselves look good, in order to save face, in order to make themselves look good.
I am your son, you do not live with me, do you want to live alone ah, others see not scolded me ah.
The son is now rich, how to let his old man live in the countryside? The first thing you need to do is move to a big house in the city.
We have a small house, let your parents live in the nursing home. A lot of other people's parents live there, so it won't be that bad.
Let your parents take care of the kids for us, they are retired and don't have anything to do at home anyway.
......
Parents are old, but they still have the right to make their own choices, and if we really love our parents, we should let them make their own choices and respect their choices, so that they can live the life they want to live in their later years.