Every mom wants their children to be brave and go forward, and often things do not go as planned.
For example, relatives and friends came to the house, the mother let the usual home and dance children sing a song to the aunt and uncle or dance, and the child squirming reluctant to step forward;
Another example, take the child to the shopping mall playground, saw some children in the construction of the air climbing tower walking freely, give the child to buy a ticket, the child is dead dare not go up, the mother of both the heart of the ticket money, but also sighed! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes, and you're going to be able to get your hands on a new pair of shoes!
These two scenarios are not the same as the one above. It doesn't matter if your child is 3, 5, or 7 years old, there is always something about them that makes you feel y frustrated with your child's education.
My daughter is in first grade, and last Thursday was the last day of class in 2020, with morning classes and an afternoon New Year's Day gala performance in her own class. A few days before my daughter was there, she told me that they had a gala event and said she didn't want to go to the show, and I didn't take it seriously.
Later, when their class group issued a gala program list, I realized that my daughter really did not sign up for a program.
There are 11 programs on the list, including soloists, chorus, solo dancers, poetry readers, and magicians, and half of the 51 students in the class have participated.
Seeing these program lists, I expressed my dismay that my daughter did not participate, and complained a bit about how she did not participate in any of them. The reason she gave was that she didn't want to perform, didn't want to put on makeup, and didn't know what to report.
Listening to her reasons, I was angry, she said she wanted to be a singer, and now she is afraid to perform in front of the crowd, not to mention the singer, even if it is in front of other people may not have the courage to speak out; she also said she wanted to be a drummer, there is no talent, I'm afraid that it is very difficult to go out of this road.
My daughter is a child who loves to try new things, and at home I have very few restrictions on her, and almost no verbal blows to her.
When I saw the performance of the diving team of the Shanghai Yangpu District Junior Sports School, I was somewhat relieved.
This little player called Jiang Qiaochu, her mom and dad must especially hope that she can always compete in everything, to give her this name. Xiao Qiaochu is 5 years old, just joined the team training last month. In the first diving practice, in the platform stood for 10 minutes, finally gathered the courage, jumped down.
Her tiny body was so overwhelmed and scared on the platform that it was adorable and heartbreaking. She later described her feelings, saying she was scared and would slowly overcome it next time.
Netizens gave this little girl a thumbs up and said, " Bravery is never fearless, but to face the fear, choose to win" . 5-year-old child, in the eyes of many mothers, is still a baby, and the little Qiaochu, has learned to face the first lesson of life.
Every mom in the encounter children because of timidity and afraid to do some seemingly simple things, you can try the following three methods.
It is said that parents are the best teachers of their children, and to teach their children to be brave, parents must first be courageous.
People are most affected by their parents in their childhood. For example, when I was a child, my parents said that snakes were a scary thing, and since then, I have been afraid of snakes as animals.
Whether it's a plastic snake, a toy snake, a snake in a book or a picture of a snake, when I see it, I immediately jump up and run away like an electric shock, and even when others talk about it, as long as I associate it with the appearance of a snake, my whole body will be numb.
Until now, I'm a mom of two girls, and I talk about snakes all the time.
This is something I do very poorly, because although my two daughters are not as afraid of snakes as I am, every time they look through an animal encyclopedia and see an invertebrate or mollusk, they will look at it and run away screaming, and then they will run back to look at it again. I was thinking that if I can be calm and not show fear when I meet something I am afraid of, maybe they won't be afraid of some things.
In the future, I will try to avoid showing fear in front of them. Because, moms are the best role models for their children, and being calm and collected is an excellent quality.
Christopher Mung, in his book Intimate Relationships. Meng says in his book "Intimacy" that the two main needs of young children are to belong and to recognize their own importance. Jane Nelson in her book "Positive Relationships". In her book Positive Parenting, Jen Nielsen says that when a child's needs for belonging and validation are not met, he or she becomes frustrated, and that frustration varies from child to child, but that it can lead to some kind of deviant behavior.
A child's ability to be brave enough to challenge something he/she is not good at is not innate, it needs to be exercised constantly, and behind this, what is needed is the patient companionship and guidance of parents.
I've seen a grandmother take her child to kindergarten, and halfway through the child's run, she fell, and the child got up and cried. The grandmother ran up and hit the child twice, saying, "Why are you running so fast? Why are you running so fast? You fell and you're still crying!" The child cried even harder. This cry must be more grievances.
The child fell down is a very normal thing, fall pain and cry is also instinctive, if you blame the child, then the child feels that he is not doing well, can not find a sense of identity, will be more and more frustrated. The next day, let him go to do some difficult things, I'm afraid that the fear can not take this step.
Every child is afraid of needles, not only because they hurt, but also because they are afraid of the unknown. Just like the little diving team member Xiao Qiaochu, before diving due to fear, on the diving platform, hands around their own crying. Fear of the unknown can keep children from challenging themselves.
Yin Jianli, an expert in children's education, mentioned in her book "A Good Mother is Better than a Good Teacher" how she guided her daughter Yuan Yuan when she got an injection.
When Yuan Yuan asked her mom, "Does it hurt to get a shot?" Mom smiled and said flatly, "Oh, it hurts a little, but not much, just like the day you sat on the little stool and accidentally fell on your butt." Yuan Yuan listened and her worries eased. In the end, she cooperated well with the injection and completed the task.
Children are very receptive, so don't cajole your child into taking on something he hasn't experienced before, just because you think he's small. Give him a clear explanation, figuratively tell him the cause and effect, he will become more and more willing to accept new things and challenges. Because he knows that his mom and dad talk to him as an adult, as equals, and inform him about everything, he feels the patience of his parents and his own importance.
A child who grows up in such an environment must be more psychologically receptive than other children. When the child knows that no matter what happens, with his parents to support him, he will be able to go forward.
Two days ago, I met a mother in the neighborhood with her kindergarten son in the fountain square to play, the child wanted to go with other children to play in the dry pool, but he did not dare to jump.
His mother said next to him, son, you have to be brave, do not wait for your mother to hold you down, you see other children have gone down ......
Ten minutes passed, the child still did not dare to jump down, and finally the mother was reluctant to chatter about the child, took his son home.
If this mom had taken her child to read some picture books or stories about building children's courage, the child who went to kindergarten would have been a lot bolder.
Little ones can read books like Baby Bear, Tom's Tales, and A Smart Fish, and older ones can buy books like I Have the Courage to Overcome Difficulties.
The children are more likely to understand and follow the example of a story. The magic of picture books and stories is so powerful.
As we can see from the performance of the little diving team member, every child is afraid of the unknown, but he will surely have his own way of defusing the problem. Before that, it is the dad and mom who give him strong enough security and patience to guide him.
What do you think? Is there a better way? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.