Honestly, plain and simple it's a matter of human nature. Children are hopeful. The old man is a liability.
Why do you dislike old people and like children?
Because children are cute and cute, they are the future of the family and hope, and they are the soul of the parents.
There are a lot of reasons why people are disliked when they are old.
In fact, there are some old people, "the older the more lovely", they are full of experience and wisdom of the brain instead of becoming a valuable spiritual wealth, become a guide for the younger generation.
They have not aged because of the passage of time, at least they have dressed themselves up beautifully, and have become the trend and fashionista.
However, there are many old is disliked, the reason:
01 stubborn wrong ideasMany of the children of their own family of the elderly neither love nor hate, and even some of the children of their parents to the bottom of the heart do not like, but there is nothing to be done.
Deep down, the reason is their inherent way of thinking and mode of doing things.
Some old people, the dying did not live to understand, there are many traditional ideas rooted in their hearts, such as: son preference, love of face, good fame and fortune ......
Although, on the surface of the feeling he is amiable, but a closer look, you will find their views of the stupidity and simplicity of the matter.
02 Do not pay attention to the appearance ofMany elderly people, think they are old, what to wear does not matter, and even the minimum personal hygiene does not pay attention.
Walking past people in front of them, unkempt and smelly, making people feel bad, and how can they let their children like it?
03 Nothing to doOld, busy life, can do nothing. This is the idea of many older people.
In fact, the "old man", this is the life of the elderly, the old man is also the meaning of life sublimation part.
Whether you are young when there is no "flash hair bright", the old should find something to do for themselves, do not rely on their children, after all, you have not come to the "can not walk and need to wait for the time".
Flowers, planting, traveling, writing, painting, dancing, and these things can be done to enjoy and exercise the body.
The average life expectancy of Chinese people is now 76 years, which is tens of years higher than before the liberation.
The more you live, the more you should make your retirement years meaningful.
Do not give your children trouble, do not rely on them, do not rely on the old. Can help children busy help a help, they can do things to do their own, this is the modern state of mind and state of life of the elderly should have.
In this way, the family can be in harmony, and the family business and grandchildren can be prosperous.
This is like the "new" "old" compared to who likes the old like the new. The old man, and children are the same, people are old, clumsy legs, old arms and legs, a smell of old age, bedridden urine is not good to clean up, can not move, can not move, that invites people to dislike. Children are lively, innocent and lovely, leading with a convenient, obedient and good education. So, the reason why the old man is disliked and the child is liked.
Other than that, the old man and the child are a weight? Normal people can easily pick up small children, many adult women may not be able to hold an old man (non-sexist, but women are indeed born with little strength, there may be some strength can hold the move)
More importantly, the child will grow up day by day, you can see the head of the bitter days, and the old man will be a little bit of senility, you don't know how much longer you have to stay up in the end.
6 years later, the child already has the ability to take care of himself, eat, drink, and sleep on his own, 6 years later, the old man may need you to take care of more.
My own sister has worked as a nanny, serving the elderly and children from a few months to two or three years old, but then she quit the job of serving the elderly and accepted the job of taking care of the children, even though the salary of the job of taking care of the children is much lower than the salary of the last job of serving the elderly, but my sister preferred to accept the latter, and I think there must be a big difference. Waiting for the elderly and children cannot be compared either physically or mentally. First of all, physically and energetically, waiting for the elderly to eat, drink, turn over to the elderly, wait for urine and feces, a small body of weak people simply can not get, while waiting for the child is more and more relaxed, and adults want to go out to do things can take the child with them, you can also take the child out to play; Secondly, spiritually, the child is the sunrise, is the family's hope that the child will slowly grow up process will bring too many surprises to the adults and the child laughs can really dispel the adults, and the child's smile is the best way to make them happy. The child laughs can really dispel the worries of adults, looking at the child's pure and tender face adults will not be able to resist the desire to kiss him, really, we encountered outside the child do not know sometimes want to tease her, the child so that adults always want to get close to him, while serving the elderly, the elderly is the sunset, most of the bedridden old people's bodies are slowly dying, all organs are slowly aging, and even smell the smell of decay. Meet the temperament of the stubborn and eccentric old man, serving his people have to put up with the old man's accusations of abuse, young people want to be relieved only to wait for the old man to pass away, but I think as a child thinking this way will be guilty of self-reproach, right? This idea cannot even be shown in front of outsiders.
Seeing this issue, I can't help but remember that during the epidemic last year, the news reported that due to the lack of ventilators in Spain, the ventilators of elderly people over 60 years old were asked to be removed to protect the younger patients, and there was a lot of crying in the hospitals. That heartbreaking scene for countless people is still fresh in my mind.
As the saying goes, "The older you get, the younger you get. "The old body will not return to the old, intellectual behavior ability to decline, but will be like a child.
If you ask why the "old is not too small", it is because the children and the elderly compared to a walking uphill, a walking downhill, the child is the hope is the future, is the sun at eight or nine o'clock in the morning, they will be the master of the future world.
Also suffering from serious illnesses of the two people, a rare old age, an old man, a cardamom or a cute child compared to the latter is undoubtedly more able to trigger the world's sympathy and concern.
First of all, in a fair sense, the two have existed for a long time.
The old man has lived most of his life, and compared to a child who has never been in the world, he seems to have bought a ticket to a movie and quit before the end, basically seeing through the end of the story, and the loss is not too great.
And the child has just entered, only watched a credits were invited out, nothing to see and experience, is really a waste of money to come to the human world this movie theater a trip ticket, not worth it.
After all, the long life, but only a hundred years, and for each person, are only once, from young since old, from life to death is inevitable.
So even if the emperor is rich and powerful, there is also the face of the "sunset is infinitely good, just close to dusk" anxiety, the first popular song sung in the "wish to use a million dollars, to buy a sun does not go down. "Longevity. It has been the eternal expectation of people from ancient times to the present.
Second, from the social value, a light and a heavy.
Children belong to the growth period, the future can have unlimited possibilities, can create value far better than in the decline, and even become a burden on society and the family of the elderly.
Returning to the topic of pager tension at the beginning of this article, the actual world history, encountered in the era of extreme lack of resources for survival, abandonment of the old to protect the young is also a common event. The story of "Guo Ju burying his son" is said to be absurd and out of character, but in the years of the Great Tribulation, the old man lived in the earliest to become a victim.
"I don't mind the old, I don't mind the young", which seems to be cruel, and said, "I'll take care of the old as well as the old, and I'll take care of the young as well as the young"?
Because love is usually a downward social moral standard: a son with limited ability to send his parents with dementia to a nursing home, people will understand, but if he sends his son with a disease to foster care, people will accuse him of being an unworthy parent.
A small child is newborn, representing the beginning of a new life, while an older person is aging, oriented to the end of life.
A child is opening the door to a new world, whereas an older person needs to slowly and slowly close a door.
So there's a reason for that.
Of course, there are many other reasons why children have to be cared for by their families in order to grow up, whereas older people need to be cared for but not necessarily.
And there are a lot of old people who seem to be very pretentious, always like to take their old age to say things, and even always rely on the old to give young people more trouble.
Of course, not all the elderly are like this, but the elderly are not always made to dislike, but the need for the elderly themselves to have their own way of life and choices, you can do some of their own interest in things, to distract themselves from the attention, but also try to make themselves more integrated into the society, learning new skills and so on.
The other day, we talked about the topic of old age, and how the birth of a human being starts from a small child, and how the human being is small, and the heart is small, and how everything is a new beginning.
And when people leave this world, like a child, but not a child. Not physically, not psychologically. The reason why one feels like a child is because of the degradation factor. And really, there is still a big difference from a child.
For example, a small child mostly accepts everything that his parents give him wholeheartedly, because for the child the parents are the one or the main channel through which he is exposed to the world.
Parents love their children because the future has infinite possibilities. All your efforts are changeable for the child's future.
And for the elderly, who become some behaviors like children because of regression, they don't think you are the world like a child, but they have their own standards. They want to stick to you like a child, but are living with their ideas or concepts.
The child is a follower to the parent; the parent is a changer to the child.
The most important existence of a person for his or her parents is acceptance; for the child, it is guidance.
One is hope, the other is destined to leave.
If the old man can become a child-like appearance in old age, then most people are a little more patient.
With the appearance of an adult, but can not do the standards of an adult, false appearance, the name is not real, so it will feel unacceptable.
After all, if you're not as good as you think you are, you'll be misled.
The Return of the Aged, or Benjamin, Patton, is worth a look. From birth, a person grows slowly as an old man, slowly gets younger, and finally ages as a child. This is a movie that will make you realize that the old man's resemblance to a child is old age; and the child's resemblance to a child is new life.
Doomed to a happy ending, the process of hard work can also be accepted;
Doomed to a sad ending, the process of good is also in vain.
First of all, it is human nature that most people love their children more than their parents. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal on your own, and then you'll be able to get a good deal on your own, and then you'll be able to get a good deal on your own. Parents need to wait for us in the old age, sometimes it is really not to dislike their parents, because they see their parents aging day by day and can not do anything about it, the heart will feel sad. Thriving and withering in stark contrast.
Because the interests and emotions of the elderly are more complex, children are much simpler.
My family's situation is very illustrative of the problem, the following two aspects.
First, the emotional
My husband's family of four, more than eighty old grandparents, under the child less than 2 years old.
After I finished my maternity leave, my mother-in-law spent most of her time taking care of her little granddaughter, and although she was really tired of taking care of the child, she was still quite happy. On the one hand, small children are simpler at heart, and my mother-in-law took care of my daughter's diet and gained the sincere love of my little granddaughter. My daughter is happy every time she sees my mother-in-law. On the other hand, small children have simple diets. When my mother-in-law is at work, she boils rice, steams eggs for a drink, or makes other supplements for the child at noon, and she does it very quickly, without feeling too tired. This is what my mother-in-law told me herself.
In contrast, the elderly are much more complicated. Old grandparents switch seamlessly between showing weakness and bravado. When the body is still good, very much like to arrange a large family, especially on weekends and holidays, early arrangements for how to live, we are a little depressed. Usually the two old people are bored, love the family judgment, inevitably heard by us, the heart will produce a mustache.
Recently, my grandmother was hospitalized and my grandfather was at home. The mother-in-law cooks for the grandfather twice a day, and then sends food to the grandmother when she's done. Basically, the family's life has been affected by grandma's illness. Grandma and Grandpa order their meals every day, and the meals have to be plentiful, so Grandma is busy buying and cooking every day. It was really tiring as the days went by. During this time I am at home to rest and take care of the children, can alleviate the burden of my mother-in-law a little.
Second, the interests
Grandparents have three children in their lives, but in those days, work was very busy, so they had to put two daughters and a son in their parents' home, until they went to secondary school to return to their side. My father-in-law was with his parents for a bit longer, but my grandmother was very controlling and had complete control over my father-in-law's life. My eldest aunt did not live with her parents for her entire life, and my youngest aunt was taken care of by her parents for a bit longer, but she still felt that her parents were more biased in favor of her son.
All of these things, all three children have complaints, and the grandparents did not realize the regrets of a lifetime of parenting until they were in their waning years, but it was too late to repent.
In addition, in terms of buying a house and other major family expenses, it is to intensify the contradiction between children and grandchildren.
As the saying goes, "life most sighs old age sad", if the young did not always reflect on the planning of the future, we must know how to let go in later years, playing deaf, or else the days are really very difficult.