1 , the evening after ordering dinner in the dormitory anxiously waiting, after a while someone to knock on the dormitory door,
then hungry a little brain dead, I shouted a meal, is it you?
Only to hear the outside came a leisurely voice En, it is me
Dear deliveryman, do you want to be so cute!
2, it seems that I'm too young aca, see people practicing to coach handing a cigarette, have a laugh,
I pulled out my pocket only a pack of Kleenex, take out a hand to the coach: you smoke after wiping your mouth.
Everyone looks at me differently.
3 , in the morning, mom went into the house to wake up his son: son up, it's time to go to school
Why? Mom! I don't want to go
Tell me two reasons why you don't want to go
Well, the kids don't like me, and the teachers don't like me
So... Anyway, there's no reason not to go to school
Mom! Then give me two reasons why I have to go to school
Okay! First, you're 52 years old! Secondly, you are the principal
4, heart, my aunt and my sister have begun to ask me from time to time why I have not brought a girlfriend back, ask me when in the end I intend to get married?
I was forced to do nothing, still young, still want to play, work too busy, Beijing house has not bought, too poor and other reasons are said all over,
They are not let go, I said I am gay!
They answered in unison: No way! I'm not saying that all gay people are handsome?
5 , a female colleague, one hundred and forty pounds. Every night with the ladies dancing square dance action all kinds of retardation.
Yesterday pulled me to view, finished, asked me how the jump looks.
I said: I think you dance looks like a Swan brand drum washing machine.
6 , just now, I suddenly realized that my dog Xiaohei is a dog talent, I was about to sit down to eat McDonald's to buy back the burger,
Xiaohei suddenly yelled out the window, as if strangers into the yard,
I went out to look around, did not see anyone, and then came back,
found that Xiaohei and the burger are gone! .....
7 , reunion in order to highlight the identity, I wore a piece of Rolex, was worried about how to show the time, a classmate suddenly asked what time.
I was overjoyed, calmly took out his cell phone and dialed the phone:
Wang Manager? I am a customer who bought a Rolex from you,
Yes, yes, yes, the gold watch, I want to ask, what time is it?
8 , today my friend drove me home, get on the car habitually lit a cigarette,
friends a hand to my cigarette pinch off, came to the sentence: don't smoke in the car, there will be smoke.
I fucking slap him down, the battery car has your sister's smoke!
9, will soon be examined Section II, worried about not passing, so prepared a little something to find the coach: coach, this point of things to take to drink tea.
Roll! You take me as what people!
The coach righteously rejected me,
By the way, the iced tea bottle cap printed with the words "one more bottle" was thrown into the trash.
10, today's daughter-in-law rest did not work, go back at noon to see her in a particularly good mood, but also particularly thoughtful,
According to her set of rules must have something to ask for, but since a word did not mention,
is feeling strange, out of the balcony to see my big winter jacket coat gorgeous cool there,
mood fell to the low point,
brothers, I've hidden 3k inside the winter coat, and then I've got a big winter coat.
11, and back to the familiar classroom, caressing the once desk, see familiar teachers, do a familiar paper
I know that I stayed again.
12 、Mom and I talked about Grandma when she was young, said Grandma was recognized as the city's first beauty.
So I asked with emotion and skepticism: bragging Grandma was really so beautiful?
My mom said proudly: "Of course!
My mother said, "I'm not sure if I've ever seen a woman like that before!
13, there is a girlfriend leakage more bitter things?
Yes, that is, the boyfriend leakage, that is really bitter force.
14, yesterday late at night to go to the neighborhood supermarket to buy things, probably because late at night, rows in front of a few people are holding Durex,
I was a person with a tube of rolling paper,
TMD checkout cashier even sighed at me!
Sigh you MB ah!
15, today my friend drove me home, get in the car habitually lit a cigarette, my friend a hand to my cigarette pinch off,
came to the sentence: do not smoke in the car, there will be smoke flavor.
I fucking slap him down, the battery car has your sister's smoke flavor!
16, a boy and a girl in the cafe blind date, the boy asked for salt in a panic,
The girl asked him why, the boy said I'm afraid you'll ask me later to have a car have a car I have no salt to the right.
17 , the evening with the new boyfriend walk, suddenly saw two dogs in the shoo,
He looked at a moment, blushed and asked me: you are now not also have such an idea?
I quickly explained: no no no, I will not be interested in a male dog!
18 , one night and his girlfriend went out to eat a late-night snack, home encountered four hooligans to rob,
I did not say back 10 meters, girlfriend did not move,
Hooligans said to me: Yo drink, meet a timid.
I said: beat you need me? (My girlfriend has a black belt!)
This is the first time I've ever seen a guy with a black belt!
This is the reason why I am so obedient to my girlfriend!
19 , will soon be examined subject two, worried about not pass, so prepared a little something to find the coach: coach, this thing to take to drink tea.
Roll! You take me as what people!
The coach righteously rejected me,
By the way, the iced tea bottle cap printed with the words "one more bottle" was thrown into the trash.
20 , once waiting for the traffic light, a lot of people on both sides, see there are thirty seconds.
And think of the online LOL that sentence, brain pumping to a sentence: the enemy still has thirty seconds to reach the battlefield!
Crush them!
The next person to look at my expression are drunk, no place to hide, I am a sister ah!
21 、Buddy, your jeans are broken and still wear out?
This is now popular, you know a hair!
I looked at his leaking chrysanthemums, fell into a deep thought.
22, the mind is very important. Negative people, only to screw things up.
And once he has a positive mindset, he can happily screw things up.
laugh through the belly super funny1, vulgarity is a breakthrough, especially when the elegant and noble do not matter
2, live in a snail's pace, live in a wimpy, born in a wimpy
3, don't always shout at me beasts, a little more to know about me, you'll know that I'm worse than beasts.
4, cross-eyed cold to the adulterer's shame, loose soil Gan for the bottom of the skirt cattle.
5, the recent pressure, gnawing Want Want snow cake than others gnawing smoke is also powerful
6, cow dung is cow dung, even if you are more meat and potatoes, flowers generally still will not be inserted in you, because that degrades the sense of beauty
7, the cow is a mundane B, the cow organ is the literati.
8, why we all give the darkness to the devil, because they are brave, are not afraid of the dark
9, lying is a man's privilege, to be lied to is a woman's patent
10, I'm not like her, I am like my script, just my script is that I am y in love with her
11, when you chase your heart that Prince Charming, waiting for your frog is actually a prince, will be fishing away
12, something or nothing, do not feel free to let their feelings seeding, or else rooted ah, you want to pull it also have to toss toss toss, root deep, you want to pull it can not be pulled out
13, the feelings of the two people
14, drunken Fang Zhi Zhi stupid, love to understand the fool
15, the reason why you can not tolerate the sand, is that you use the selection of the flour of the sieve, too subtle The reason why I can put up with you, is that I used to catch the net of the fish, so that the small fish are slipped through
15, the reason why you can not tolerate sand, is that you used to select flour of the sieve, too subtle I can put up with you, is that I used to capture the net, let the The reason why I can put up with you is that I use a net to catch big fish, so that small fish have slipped through
16, the loss of happiness, that is, the chrysanthemums on your asshole, often only when you have diarrhea, you feel that it opens up a particularly brilliant
17, ugly is not your fault, stupid is not your fault, but the ugly and stupid to play the best, but also can not serve as the labeling your greatness ah, to be modest
18, you're a person of special kindness, especially when you are sorry
19, feelings like buying stocks, selected on the garbage stocks, losses, it does not matter, the key is to learn to stop loss, but the most afraid is that you do not recognize the failure of their own eyesight, blindly hold, look forward to the rebound, as a result, and so on, and so on, wait for the flowers to be thankful for several times
20, playing a talented facade, revealing the nature of the B pretend.
21, the woman is still wearing a mask of makeup, the man is loaded with a moral mask
22, those who are conceited, always can not help but chicken in the flock of cranes
23, irony is what? Irony is that even if you are willing to be someone else's toilet paper, people still think you soft paper, dirty fingers, hard paper, wiped buttocks
24, don't always say that the mud can't be turned over to the wall, because even if you're a concrete, no one with you, you still have to be on the ground, someone turned over, no matter how bad the mud is, or will be sticking to the wall to look like a little
25, your boss as a baby, and then put yourself on the ground, and then you'll have a good time. The boss as a baby, and then take yourself as a tit, more pressure on themselves, squeeze out some milk, because the baby is still do not know how to appreciate will not produce milk tits
26, people rely on clothing, Buddha rely on gold. But the essence is still the essence, like you, whether it is Li-Ning or Adidas, Impossible or
27, people's lives at least once love at first sight, that seems to have made a lot of people in vain
28, said the beauty of the beast with the beast, when I also beast a moment.
29, want to bubble people bubble can not, that at most a plan to soak; want to bubble people were soaked, that is soaked on the formalin, called leaching
30, as the saying goes, brothers such as feet and hands, women such as clothes, this is now still quite a reference value, just the reality to give it a little bit of added elements of the times, and now it is a brother such as a prosthetic limb, women such as underwear.
31, the movie does not have a director, you can become a story; the story does not have a screenwriter, but nothing is. So life should at least become a screenwriter, to be wonderful, try to develop the director.
32, I see you on a professional net weaving, and specializing in penguins.
33, you are the frog at the bottom of the well, or even the bottom of the well did not run all the
34, life always like to throw me between the angels and devils as a tug-of-war rope, in order to retaliate against them, I decided to do the rope of grass, broken, and then they all rolled to one side
35, the average person will not say that I am long handsome. They usually only say that I was born with dominance
36, to be able to put so many human vices MIX so perfect, I believe that you rain on the street, the God of Thunder can not touch you feel sorry
37, once there is a woman who wanted to remodel me, but the results of her in the end only to dismantle the parts of me, but never again with me to install
38, romance will always be with me, and I will always be with you, I will always be with you.
40, people do not YY in vain! Not catfight uncomfortable!
41, alive, is to leap in the gibberish.
42, even if I'm small, but when I try to live for myself, I'm still great, I just don't know the size of the great
43, not my happiness have to be built on top of your pain, just you have to let your pain to me to amuse
laugh at the funny paragraphsExcerpts from Funny Paragraphs for Laughing Out Loud
1. If I were a teardrop in your eyes, I would fall down your cheeks and disappear between your lips, and if you were a teardrop in my eyes, I wouldn't cry because I'm afraid of losing you!
2. Four sweet petals lips, two pure souls, an immortal love idea this is the beautiful elements of a kiss.
3. The wall blooms outside the wall red, to pick flowers road is not accessible. If you want to access the road to flowers to thank, a joy a empty.
4. The most beautiful thing in life is the process, the most difficult is to know each other, the most eager is the result! The most bitter is waiting! The most happy is true love, the most afraid of ruthlessness, the most regret is to miss, the most want to be with you.
5. You are the wind and I am the sand, you are the shoes and I am the brush, you ignore me I kill myself!
6. Love expert sincerely for your service, please enjoy the free professional services I provide! Passionate kiss type, warm embrace type, gently touch type, or amorous holding hands type, sweet words type. Please feel free to choose.
7. I love you! If you love me, then take these three words, if you do not love me, please return these three words to me!
8. Adhere to the absolute leadership of the wife. Home wife is always the first, the child second, the dog third, I fourth.
9. My family has a sow and a group of piglets, if you are willing to come to my house to live, I will sell the sow, and I will live with you.
10. Every time I think of you, the picture is a mosaic.
11. I like to see the inspirational story of the socialist girl, from the middle school and high school, to the grown-up waiter and dishwasher who sent out flyers.
12. It's a beautiful day, I've been in my room for a long time and I'm ready to go to the living room for a break.
13. Math is the most romantic, it is more perfect than anything else in the world, it never lies, it never betrays, and it never passes.
14. If you treat your wife badly, don't blame me for treating your wife too well.
15. Other people stay in bed because they have money and want to sleep as late as possible. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on your own, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get a good deal on your own.
16. What is loneliness, 50 dollars in phone bills for six months did not use up, hard to let the monthly rent deducted
17. You in the north frozen into ghosts, I am in the south of the dew thighs.
18. People have two eyes, all parallel, so should be equal to see people; people's two ears are divided on both sides, so do not listen to one side of the word; although only one heart, but there are left and right two chambers of the heart, so not only do things for their own thoughts, but also for others.
19. The curtain of the stage of life may be opened at any time, the key is that you are willing to perform, or choose to avoid.
20. Let's replace the worry beforehand with thinking and planning beforehand!
21. In the face of the goal, confidence, life can have a few fights? In the face of achievements, open-minded, all continents lead to Rome.
22. In the face of opportunity, do not hesitate; in the face of choice, do not hesitate; in the face of the battle, do not fear!
23. Without saliva and sweat, there is no success in tears.
24. I only believe in two people in this world, one is me, the other is not you.
25. Some people are so unintelligent, you do not x his mom, he does not know you are his father.
Laughing through the belly of the funny paragraph share
1. go downstairs kiosk to buy things, checkout asked the boss there is no Alipay, the boss said no, there is a Gadobao.
2. Give the future mother-in-law a bad review, the delivery is too slow.
3. Holding a hot, charging cell phone and putting life and death at risk was one of the few heroic moments of my life.
4. Did the leaf leave because the wind pursued it or because the tree didn't want it to?
5. Brothers like hands and feet, women like clothes, who moves my hands and feet, I pick his clothes!
6. I've already thought about it, I'll raise my son as a robber, and my daughter as a princess.
7. I'm an actor, and when I see a beautiful mm, my eyes are round
8. I'm not familiar with Wu Bai, but his brother is very familiar with me.
9. My father is from Jiangsu and my mother is from Hunan.
10. I don't know whose daughter-in-law is in my bed, and my daughter-in-law doesn't know whose bed she's in!
11. The network is like a prison, originally stole a wallet to come in, and when you go out you learn everything.
12. Who controls history, who controls the future; who controls the present, who controls history.
13. Life is fucking fun, because life is always fucking playing me.
14. I have to rely on threats to get things done that a good-looking girl can't get done by pampering herself.
15. On the bus I looked at you often, you looked at me often, I fell in love with you at first sight, and you were holding on to your wallet.
16. Math is actually very simple, it's just the other 90 points that are hard.
17. There are so many classes like prostitutes, I just go to them every day and don't even know the names.
18. When you can't find a good angle for your selfie, you have to recognize that you look better in person than in pictures.
19. I picked up a lamp and wished for a date before I died, and I got eternal life.
20. I'm a hard-hearted person, and I cried when I added my fingers.
21. You said that onions are amazing, the only fruits and vegetables that can call for tears, I do not want to deny you, but the last time I was smashed by the durian to the foot I also cried for a day.
22. Whoever dares to disturb my study in the new semester, I will play with him.
23. generally like to tell yellow paragraph girls are very beautiful why? Why? Because they have to cover up their own beautiful appearance to cover up their own obscene heart.
24. The happiness of the sky is to wear a blue; the happiness of the forest is to wear a green; the happiness of the sun, such as diamonds dazzling; and my happiness, because I know you.
25. If you are a fish, then I am the hook, I want to fish you; if you are a small mountain, then I am the mountain side of the river, I want to go around you; if you are a bun, then I am a bowl of mutton soup, I want to soak you.
Laughing through the belly of the funny paragraph collection
1. Tired of the sea oath of the misty, sweet words of the hollow, do not need to swear Dan Dan promise, this life I only want and you, calm, slowly old age. Waiting for the old where can not go, you are still in my heart treasure!
2. One year old mouth waterfall, two years old wear clothes not pants, three-year-old snot flow into the mouth, four-year-old night long dream ghost, this person is young and no success, grow up after the IQ low, know that is you, but also adhere to see the end, admire, admire ah!
3. I want you to think about you want you so much, find a painter to paint you, stick you in a cup, drink water every day to kiss you, little like it? I'd like to see you in a cup of boiling water.
4. Actively respond to the call of the six eggs. Can only look at the wife's face, before going out to kiss the face, sleep to stick to the face. Old, never shout her change eggs, wife scolded asshole, I am soft eggs.
5. I was once confused, it is you holding hands to get me out of the woods, let me know love a person originally is how beautiful things ah, let me use this life as a return, accompanied by you, has been holding hands to old age.
6. Thinking about if it is a disease, that I have been very sick; miss if it is a kind of love, that I have been in love with the sea; love if it is because of hate, that I have been hated to the bone; you if it is a poison, I would like to exhaust life for you.
7. Marriage is a consolidated statement, love is accounts payable, children are other accounts payable, life is a going concern, quarrels are bad debt provision, fights are operating losses, tears are offsetting owner's equity.
8. can make money better, better than I earn more, by the way, do not need me to support, it is easy.
9. If heaven lets me make three wishes, the first one is to be with you in this life, the second one is to be with you again and again, and the third one is to be with you forever and ever.
10. want you, feel like: fried vegetables did not put salt; apple is not too sweet; drink less smoke; shopping forget to bring money; free time I will think of you, no time I will take the time to think of you, really can not take the time to think of you, I do not do anything, light think of you!
One, as long as the hoe dance is good, which has a corner digging is not down?
Second, the Monkey King three beat the white bone spirit story tells us that women are too fickle will be killed by a stick of men .
Third, you wear a very dangerous, but long very safe.
Four. The life of a foodie is like a train, which is summarized as, shop - eat, shop - eat, shop - eat.
V. Sister is not afraid to kick you, sister is just afraid of dirty sister feet on the Nike.
Six, brother smoking, because it hurts lungs, not sad.
Seven, my advantage is: I am very handsome; but my shortcomings are: I handsome not obvious.
eight, you can not make everyone happy, because not all people are people!
nine. Do not want to pick up my phone straight, do not always let people move to help you say sorry to me ~
ten, people are iron, rice is steel, no soup inside the bones.
XI, women mixed well, is sister-in-law, mixed bad, is a bitch.
Twelve, everyone says I'm an actor, because I see a beautiful MM eye round
Thirteen, in the street to see the beauty, a little higher is to appreciate a little lower is a hooligan.
Fourteen, also because of the loneliness, have talked about a few times in love. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good look at this, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get a good look at this!
xv>Goose goose goose goose, curved neck with a knife cut, plucked hair plus scoop of water, light the fire cover the pot!
XVI, throw a coin: heads to the Internet on the flip side to go to sleep, stand up to go write homework.
XVII, the so-called simple, long wings is an angel, did not have wings is an idiot.
18, the world's most distant distance is not between life and death, but the immediate examination, others in the review, they are in the prep. What is more tragic is that people have passed the prep, you have reviewed but did not pass.
XIX, when you do right, no one will remember; when you do wrong, even breathing is wrong!
XX, if more fish can make up the brain so that people become smarter, then I have to eat at least a pair of whales
XXI, . The first guy to know that milk is drinkable, what the hell did you do to the cow?
Twenty-two. Good friends do not need too much, two will be enough, a willing to lend you money, when he asked you for debt, another willing to kill him ~
Twenty-three, pumping, is a kind of art of life; looking for pumping, is a kind of attitude towards life.
Twenty-four, the world is so big to know you, I feel so unfortunate.
Twenty-five, the end of the world where there is no cow dung, why single love a piece of shit.
Twenty-six, the cucumber must shoot, life must be high.
Twenty-seven, the people of the beginning, nature is good, you pay, I eat.
Twenty-eight, is not the implementation of gender equality? The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money to pay for it.
Twenty-nine, the distance is not the beauty, but the third party.
Thirty. You are like a bitter melon, wearing so cool, looking so defeat.
Thirty-one, the older the more matters of the heart, G's heart loaded with G's worries.
Thirty-two, I like people, are in the hard disk.
Thirty-three, all say sister beautiful, in fact, are out of makeup.
Thirty-four, in order to cooperate with the successful completion of the work of family planning in China this year, I decided not to contact with friends of the opposite sex for the time being, thank you for your cooperation.
Thirty-five, there is a kind of collapse is called a password input error, there is a kind of panic is called the account off-site login, there is a kind of feelings is called invisible to its visible, there is a kind of misunderstanding is called the man-machine offline, and there is a kind of loss is called you don't have access to rights!