The work is also guerrilla warfare, the work is not happy on the change, the feeling is still can do a few more months. I've never considered financial management, and I've spent my paychecks on this, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. Although often very poor, but overall still poor very happy, and happy to come very easily. For example, ate a mouth-watering meal, bought a long time in the heart of the lipstick, watched the new release of the movie ......
Maybe it is from a young age is too capricious, grew up into society is not a few years, life experience is too little, experience is too small, in the previous 23 years, I have never fretted about anything, and even less understanding of depression Anxiety disorder people. But suddenly something came up that made me feel that life had changed and I didn't know how to face it.
I found out I was pregnant about six months ago, and was actually happy, in a joy-filled kind of way. I have been married for a few years, although there has been no plan to have a child, but relatives and friends will ask from time to time, there are also many people around me who got pregnant as soon as they got married, and I seldom use contraception, but how has there been no movement? This is why I have doubts about myself, is there something wrong with me?
In fact, my husband is not in a hurry to have a child, our family is not in a hurry, but for a long time looking at other people one by one, I finally couldn't help but go to the hospital for a checkup, the results of the endometriosis, the doctor said that this disease is more difficult to get pregnant, there is no medicine to treat it, the only treatment for the disease is to get pregnant, if you don't want to have a child for the time being, you can do the operation, but the operation will have to If you don't want to have a child for a while, you can have an operation, but it will take three years after the operation before you can have a child. After discussing with my husband, I decided to have a child, so I tried for half a year without good news, and finally intended to do surgery, my mother stopped me, she did not support me to do surgery, because this disease is not a serious disease, surgery is too hurt the body, the recovery is so long to have a child, she suggested that I try traditional Chinese medicine, can not be done in the surgery.
At the beginning of the year, I went to a traditional Chinese medicine hospital, the doctor's test results have another disease, polycystic ovaries, so the chances of getting pregnant is even lower. I was very anxious, worried about what to do if I never had a child, and the doctor prescribed a bunch of medicines, which I drank without missing a beat. I've never thought about the life after having a child, I only thought about getting well, and I was afraid that I would not be able to have a child.
In this way, I drank a month of bitter Chinese medicine, and finally got the good news as I wished, and I was happy for a long time, and I didn't have a little bit of pregnancy sickness in the early stage, and I had a particularly good appetite, and I could eat and drink, and my mood was doubly good. However, the comfortable days did not last long, as the fetus grows day by day, the joy of the first pregnancy is slowly washed away by the confusion about the future. I began to worry about how to work after giving birth to a child, and if I don't work to bring up the child at home, my husband's salary is not enough to spend how to do. I am worried that I will have a bloated body, stretch marks all over my belly, and I will be a few years older. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
The point is, I haven't learned how to be a mature adult, I don't know how to cook and do housework, how to become a mother, how to be a child's haven, how to take care of him? How am I supposed to nurture him when I don't even have a quest in my own life?
I began to emotional irritability, irritability, anxiety, insomnia ......
I even often ask myself why I want to have a child, often for the pregnancy regrets, even though in my heart I know that this child is not easy to conceive, it is my own begging, I should accept him, should not have this idea. But it was really scary, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to survive on my own, and have another child to carry and suffer with him. Every day after having the fetus really live a very tormented, full of regret, self-blame, guilt, fear ...... all kinds of emotions intertwined together, the pressure of their own breath, have a life, for the first time, so exhausted, so spiritually depressed.
Hubby often guide me, walk with me, try to do something to make me feel good to tease me, but experienced people know, this time how others do is useless, no matter what he does I am very irritable, looking at his efforts to make me happy bear look, I know I can not continue like this, do not want to time the child has not been born, those problems have not yet come to a solution, I myself! I knew I couldn't go on like this, not before the baby was born and those problems were solved, and I was depressed.
After realizing the problem, I tried to change my daily life, started to go shopping, went to meet friends for food and drinks, went to see the big mothers dancing, went to catch up with dramas, let myself be busy first, there is no time to think about those messy things. Although I do not know if this method is right, but after this half a month of hard work, I feel much better, there is something will also face with a positive attitude, this may be the power of emotion, emotionally good brain naturally clear, encountered problems will naturally think of ways to solve them, rather than self-hatred, always "Why? "The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do it.
When I write this, of course, I will also have a headache, especially in the first part of the particularly difficult period of time, my heart will still be a little afraid, if you really do not have any feeling that is impossible, experienced the ordeal of the people, even if the later again to let go of the feelings will also be touched. However, in their own slowly improving this time, I once again reconsidered those problems that make me suffer, with a positive attitude to consider, always a great harvest, and now I put the solution to the problem of the program are written in a small notebook, looking at them in the heart is very solid, very comfortable. Maybe it's not so easy to implement, but at least it makes me not confused anymore.
I hope that the little pregnant women who are in the same situation as me can also adjust themselves, with the best state to meet the baby's arrival, no matter how difficult don't give up, go for it!