Lesson 1: Brief Introduction to Teaching
Teacher Zheng asked his classmates first: Can you describe it? The students all said yes. So the teacher took out a picture and asked three students to go to the podium to describe the scene in the picture.
The first boy came over seriously and enthusiastically and wrote, "Two ducks are playing together by the green river. They bathed in the early spring sunshine, cried happily, chased each other on the water, flapped their wings and splashed like a string of pearls. It's really a duck prophet in Chunjiang plumbing. "
After reading it, thousands of people in the following class applauded warmly, and the little boy was extremely proud. Why do the teachers applaud warmly? Because everyone thinks that students write well. A researcher later sincerely said to Mr. Zheng: Students write so well, I'm really worried about how you will attend the next class. He writes so vividly. How can we make him write more vividly and concretely?
However, Mr. Zheng asked the students to carefully compare the picture with the classmate's description. Look, students, what's going on? His handwriting is completely inconsistent with the image in the photo.
Then, Mr. Zheng leads the students to analyze the description of the second student to see where the problem lies.
The first sentence: "Mirror Lake"-the metaphor is really smooth.
The second sentence: "A pair of ducks are sweeping the waves. Look at their leisurely appearance, from time to time probe into the water to find fish, and from time to time twist their heads to sort out their feathers. " Look at the picture. Does the duck have a probe? Did you turn your head? None of them. But students write according to their own imagination. Why is this happening?
The third sentence: "They swim carefree and form a beautiful landscape painting with the lake." What kind of landscape painting is beautiful? This is completely subjective evaluation rather than description, that is to say, the description of students lacks concrete display and real display, and it is completely personal feeling.
The description of the third child is similar, but some words such as "simple and natural, no distractions, time suddenly stopped" are used. She is good at using these adjectives, and children in Grade One can also use these words well, but what is "simple and natural"? Is it in the picture? No, this is actually not specific, which means that students can only use some words that they may not be clear about.
Three students writing on the blackboard are good at rhetoric. However, they turn a blind eye to the actual things in the film. After the teacher asked, he found that there were lakes and ducks in the picture, but 27 of the 40 students in the class actually wrote only one object, but did not write that there were ducks in the lake. Therefore, the goal of this lesson is to overcome the problem of taking for granted and students' habit of replacing description with taking for granted; The way to overcome the problem of "taking for granted" is to teach students to write whatever they have. The duck in the photo was originally swimming quietly. You shouldn't write anything about "splashing like a pearl", but you wrote that it doesn't splash, which is out of thin air.
So Mr. Zheng told the students that the so-called description should be to write out what you have and show it truthfully, which is the first essence of description. If you don't have anything, you shouldn't write it out of thin air, otherwise it's not an object feature, it's just an associative hypothesis of yours.
Reflection From this lesson, we can see that Mr. Zheng asked three students to describe the pictures first in order to understand the students' original writing level (that is, to understand the learning situation). After understanding, it is found that students' language expression ability is very strong, and simple language expression writing teaching can no longer be regarded as the teaching goal of writing. But the common fault of many students is that they like to write empty things, and their main shortcoming is that they like to take it for granted, even for the so-called "vivid". Therefore, on the basis of understanding the academic situation, Mr. Zheng marked this course as "write something and tell the truth".
It can be seen that understanding the learning situation is very important for writing teaching. Students cannot be described as "taken for granted", nor can teachers be "taken for granted" to teach. Instead, we should know the basic elements and necessary skills that affect students' writing, and then design specific and operable training steps in turn.
Lesson 2: Detail Description Teaching
A few minutes before class, Mr. Zheng was chatting with the students, talking and laughing, which was very harmonious.
Teacher: Just now, several students told me their impressions of me, and their observations were very careful and accurate. Let me ask you a question. Do you think you can describe it? Raise your hand if you can describe it.
No students raised their hands. )
Teacher: (to the student who just described the teacher's appearance) Why don't you raise your hand?
Health: No.
Teacher: Didn't you just describe the teacher? This means that you can describe, in fact, you can. Let's have a try.
? (Projection: A picture of a duck swimming)
Teacher: Have you seen this picture? I asked three students to write on the blackboard. Other students wrote it on paper. I want to see if you can describe it and see how well you describe it. Write a sentence or two. All right, let's go!
? (Written by students)
Teacher: Let's look at the blackboard. The first student on the left, please read your work for everyone.
Health: There is a lake in the picture. In the water, there are two ducklings swimming around and playing.
Teacher: The second classmate.
Health: In the clear water, there are two lovely ducklings. They are playing with each other.
Teacher: The third classmate.
Health: On the clear water, two light yellow ducklings are swimming freely. They look very laid back.
Teacher: Please sit down. What do you think of the * * * written by these three students?
Health: Duck.
Teacher: * * * It's the same as "duck". Can this be less?
Health: No.
Teacher: Then why not?
Health: Because this is the object of description.
Teacher: Good. Some people are also called ... heroes (blackboard writing: object, hero)
Teacher: So besides ducks, what other objects are described?
Health: Lake water. (Some students also call it "water" and "pond")
Teacher: (writing on the blackboard: water) They all wrote ducks and water. However, this is "in water", that is "in clear water" and that is "on clear water". Which of these three sentences is better described?
(Students disagree)
Teacher: (writing these words on the blackboard) may have their own characteristics, so I want to ask, what is good about him, or what words is better for him?
Health: adjectives.
Teacher: Adjective, that is to say, what was this object before?
Health: refitting.
Teacher: The description objects are ducks and water, and the adjective "Qing" is added in front of them. What does this adjective describe about water?
Health: appearance.
Teacher: Appearance, or characteristics. Characteristics of water. (blackboard writing: features)
Teacher: Which words in the above sentence represent the characteristics of ducks and water?
Health: "clear", "lovely", "light yellow" and "leisurely"
Teacher: There are also "freedom" and "frolicking". How would we feel without these characteristics?
Health: Not specific enough.
Teacher: Yes. Which do you think is better than using adjectives? Why? Each of you also wrote it below. Let's see what you wrote. If it is better than these three students, let's enjoy it. (Silence) This question is very challenging. First, you should judge what you like about the above three statements; Second, you should compare your description with theirs. Who will finish this challenging task? We can solve them one by one. (Stand up and watch your exercises all your life)
Health: There are two ducklings on the calm water. They are covered with fine fluff and gray-white patterns. They chase each other like two carefree children playing.
Teacher: Isn't it wonderful?
Health: Very wonderful.
Teacher: You write it on the blackboard. Good articles should be appreciated. (Students write on the platform) Other students think, what's good about his description? Ok, please tell me about it.
Health: He used metaphors and personification.
Teacher: Why use metaphors and personification?
Health: It's more vivid.
Teacher: Well, metaphor and personification make the article vivid. Please sit down! Ask another student to say it again.
Health: His writing is vivid and vivid, and the duckling is lively.
Teacher: Yes, it is vivid, vivid, lively and lovely in effect. You feel good. Students, we have just found the description objects: ducks and water, and saw their characteristics: ducks are gray ducks with fine down, and they are swimming around and playing; What about water? It is clear water and calm water. Some people still think what it looks like and use metaphors. So, what do you think of this description?
Health: Wonderful.
Teacher: This description is qualified and more wonderful. Ok, now, let's sum up: first, what is the description? I think description means telling what only you see, a person, an object or a scene to some people who haven't seen it. So, if you wanted to tell us what you saw, what would you tell us first? Be sure to tell us, "What's there?" (Blackboard: What's there) What's in this picture? Just now, some students told us-
Health: There are ducks and water.
Teacher: Of course, it is not enough to just tell us what they are. We also want to know their characteristics, movements and details, that is, tell us "how are they?" (Blackboard: How are they?) Just now, some students told us about ducks and water, right? However, sometimes, we feel that it is not enough and need to tell us "what are they like". You see, with these three articles, his description is different, isn't it? "What" makes us understand the object of description, and "How" makes the description concrete? And "what do you like" makes the description vivid. These three principles, understand?
Health: I see.
The above remarks are students' free description, students' original writing level and reflect the starting point of students' writing. The following are the modifications made by students according to the three principles provided by teachers, which reflect the state of students after learning knowledge, and the promotion of teaching begins to appear, which is also a change from "teaching knowledge" to "using knowledge".
One of the difficulties in reflective process teaching design is how to avoid pure knowledge introduction. Whether process guidance is one of the signs of effective learning depends on whether teachers instill ready-made information into students first, or guide students to start from their daily life, from the language phenomena and reading experience used by students in daily life, find out the characteristics and summarize the laws, so that they can become a schema that students can understand and master.
Teacher: OK, now, let's use these three principles to test your description of this picture just now and see what is missing in your description and what can be done better. Of course, you can change it to someone else, and then we can communicate.
? (Students modify communication)
Health: In the mirror-level lake, there are two innocent and lively ducklings, just like two fur balls floating on the big glass.
Health: There is no ripple on the calm water. Two ducklings swim leisurely, like a pair of little sisters walking.
Health: Two ducklings are playing leisurely in the green water, like a pair of little swans in Swan Lake.
Teacher: The artistic conception is beautiful. I think some writers' descriptions are just that.
Health: I think it is wrong for him to say "chasing around" because the water in the painting does not fluctuate.
Teacher: (to all students) Does he make sense?
Health: Yes!
Teacher: Yes, that makes sense. In fact, he talked about a very important question, that is, what we describe, what we look like, what we should have a premise and what we should respect.
Health: The truth.
Teacher: First of all, we should pay attention to the facts that really happened, and we should not speculate subjectively. What it is, what it is, all we have to do is restore it. Ok, can this classmate try to change it?
Health: Are you "walking" or "walking"?
Health: I can't see joy.
Teacher: Yes, these words need to be adjusted. So can "lovely children" make fun of each other?
Health: Yes.
Health: "Green" is bad.
Teacher: Let's write it down. (Blackboard: green) What word can that become?
Health: change it to blue.
Teacher: (blackboard writing: blue) "blue" is often used to describe the color of water, right? Any other words? About the lake, several students used calm and quiet. (blackboard writing: calm and quiet)
Health: soft.
Teacher: Soft is good. Xu Zhimo's Farewell to Cambridge uses He Kang's gentle waves. Then why should I write these words on the blackboard to attract everyone's attention? "Clear", "Green", "Quiet", "Fixed" and "Soft". Why?
Health: Angle.
Teacher: These words form a descriptive angle. ...
Health: It has increased.
Teacher: Originally, we only used "Qing". Here refers to the transparency of water, "green" and "blue" are the colors of water, and "calmness" and "softness" are the forms, textures and feelings of water. So, are we inspired at this point? How can we make the description more specific? Isn't it more specific that we use "Qing", "Green", "Blue", "Quiet" and "Soft"? So, which classmate summed up what I just meant in one sentence? Tell everyone that it would be better to write like this. Ok, this classmate will try it. What can we do when we describe it and talk about its characteristics?
Health: It's different.
Teacher: It is from ...
Health: In many ways.
Teacher: Good. (blackboard writing: various) wouldn't it be more specific if it could be described from many angles and aspects? Is there such an example in the text? Remember the sentence describing grass in Zhu Ziqing's Spring? "Grass secretly emerged from the soil. ...
Health: (Qi Shengbei) tender, green and full of flowers.
Teacher: How many horns are there? One is "latent excavation", which is its modality; "Tender", texture, is the second angle; "Green", color, is the third angle; "Large area", quantity, is the fourth angle. We can also learn from Zhu Ziqing's writing style, can't we?
Health: Yes.
Teacher: Now let's sum up: (Projection)
? "What's there" is a narrative, and its function is to introduce things accurately.
? "How" is a description and description, and its function is "clear and meticulous". It is best to write from many aspects and angles.
? "Like what" is a metaphor, and its function is vivid.
Teacher: These are the secrets of description. Are they simple?
Health: Simple.
Teacher: Did you write it down?
Health: I see!
Reflection is still "what", "how" and "what you like", but its connotation is further enriched. Use the rules obtained from the first description exercise to guide the second description exercise and test and correct the first learning effect. Thirdly, emphasize the principles and methods of description, and strengthen students' awareness of methods and induction. The following is a description of the third exercise. On the basis of using methods, gradually improve the difficulty of training and guidance.
Teacher: Now anyone who wants to tell me that he can't describe it, please raise your hand. Is it gone? Is it really gone? We need to check it again. This time, I will give you something more difficult.
Teacher: (Projection: picture of windmill) Now we take this picture (windmill) as the object of description and use some methods we have just learned. I don't want to learn to write on the blackboard, but I will collect some things written by students and ask them to read to us. Please comment. The time can be three to four minutes. Let's get started.
? (Students write, teachers patrol the classroom)
? How's it going? Please read the written students. Some students are unwilling to put down their pens. Ok, that's all right. There are still one or two sentences you haven't thought about. You can add them when you read them. So who is willing to contribute their achievements to everyone? Several students who raised their hands have answered the questions. Is there anyone else? In fact, I like to let students who don't raise their hands in class answer questions. Ok, students near the corner, please try. Read aloud and everyone should listen carefully.
Health: In the early morning, there are many windmills standing on the quiet and beautiful lake. They are holding huge arms as if welcoming guests from afar.
Teacher: How about it? Do you think it's wonderful?
Health: Wonderful.
Teacher: Please sit down. He wrote about time and a feeling.
Health: On the vast plain, there is a row of giant windmills by the river. The breeze was blowing gently, and the windmill slowly waved his huge arms as if dancing.
Teacher: Please sit down. Is there a windmill description different from that of the two students? Read it to us.
Health: At the end of the endless grassland, there is a calm river and a row of ancient windmills stand beside it. Their arms danced in the wind, as if strong soldiers were defending their hometown, and as if a row of welcome pines were welcoming distinguished guests.
Teacher: Please sit down. He used two metaphors. Everybody write it down. Is there anything better than him?
Health: This is a distant country, a paradise on earth and an endless prairie. Under the gloomy sky, by the silent river? There is an exhaust fan, and they stand there quietly. I don't know how many years have passed, and there is no shadow of a person or the sound of a machine here. The color of the red tile has faded, and the arm that once waved is no longer so powerful. Only the charm of nature still exists, in the sunset morning breeze. The lonely windmill is telling an old legend.
Teacher: Did you just write this?
Health: Yes.
Teacher: Great, you can be a writer. Did everyone pay attention just now? Many students write not only windmills, but also white clouds and dusk. In fact, everyone not only turned their attention to windmills, but also to what?
Health: environment.
It is just right to reflect on the emergence of writing knowledge of "describing complex scenes". This is a temporary writing knowledge created by the teacher according to the actual situation of the students? Or is it the teacher's preset knowledge before class? Or is this the perfect combination of teacher's presupposition and student's generation?
Teacher: The environment, a whole scene. So, what should you pay attention to when writing a complicated picture?
(Projection: Describe a complex scene)
It seems that when describing, you should not only write the protagonist, but also write the whole scene or background. What do you think should be paid attention to?
Health: key points.
Teacher: OK, we should pay attention to the key points. (blackboard writing: key points) observe and describe the key objects more and write them in detail. There are many objects to describe, and we should also pay attention to levels. In addition, I think it is best to write personality according to the unique experience of each of us. The description is very simple, you see, we all know it, but I want to remind you that the description is very complicated and changes a lot, which requires long-term practice. Ok, I have another picture here. (Changing the projection screen) What is this scene?
Health: Grassland.
Teacher: What's the point?
Health: sheep.
Teacher: Yes, sheep are the protagonists of the grassland. What else is there?
Health: mountains, clouds and sky.
Teacher: Interested students can describe this picture or a scene in your hometown when they go back. Today we focus on concrete and vivid descriptions. More training should be done at home. Class is over!
This is a descriptive training course taught by Professor Zheng Guihua in a certain place. The following are the words of Teacher Zheng Guihua.
This lesson focuses on description ability, and designs four training links for students to train repeatedly to master the general requirements of description. Mr. Qian Menglong has a very good saying, "The key knowledge must be solid, so as not to forget." . Of course, repetition is not a simple repetition, but a change and progress around a center. In composition teaching, the process guidance and training of composition teaching depends on two conditions: one is to determine what knowledge has important training value for students' composition, which we can call "public knowledge"; Second, around these "common sense" points, design several operational and relatively stylized training steps. With such a training program, students' writing learning can be effectively guided, and the influence of teachers' personal qualities and other factors on composition teaching can also be controlled within a certain range.
This teaching practice is trying to make description training procedural, concrete, operable and reusable, so that students can practice it thoroughly in description. And guide students to summarize and master the methods, draw inferences from others, and take a big step in describing ability.
Description is a basic skill of middle school students' writing, and it is also a kind of expression quality that needs to be improved all their lives. Because the description objects are different, the styles are different, the writing intentions are different, and the writers' aesthetic pursuits are different, the criteria for evaluating the pros and cons of description will be different, and the requirements for description will be different, such as some are plain and beautiful, some are beautiful, and so on. However, many basic requirements for description are quite * * *, such as accuracy, clarity, concreteness and vividness. The training described in this section is the basic requirement of the description. In addition, a description involves a wide range, such as choosing the object of description, describing the details, the consistency between description and theme, changing the perspective, describing the side, borrowing scenery and melting scenery, and so on. It is impossible for a composition class to get effective training on all these public knowledge points. Besides, middle school students don't have to cover all these contents. Therefore, this training class only opened a small window on the big wall of the composition, so that students could have a glimpse of the mystery of the description. If, over time, a set of mature teaching processes can be formed in many points of composition, and such traceability training can be carried out, I believe it will have a quite obvious guiding role in improving students' composition.