Me.
But I'm not sure which kind you want to talk about?
Is it like me who works during the day and comes home at night, or is it the kind that stays behind.
Left-behind children not much to say, certainly not good for the children, but not themselves, that way not to say.
Let's talk about ourselves.
After the maternity leave was completed, the roll of the LiLu went to work, one is a little bit of my mind collapse, work can also rest, in the home duo is too painful; Secondly, the economy is not so loose, in order to the child in the future still have to struggle; Thirdly, my mom very visionary told me that if you do not go to work, she will pull the black I.
I have to go to work, but I do not want to go to work, but I do not want to go to work.
So I rolled to work.
The child's grandmother took the child during the day, and I came back at night and the child slept with me and my husband.
The child's grandmother is very good at bringing up the child and cooking, and I am sure that I would never have such good patience to bring him to the table, and I don't care about the small things with the child, she doesn't care about the big things, and she is a good mother-in-law.
As for the night, the child's grandmother proposed that the child sleep with her, so as not to affect my sleep, I sleep extremely light. I considered, and then refused, one to consider the old man during the day with 娃一天晚上还是挺累，让她休息下；二来还是觉得应该和孩子培养一下感情，顺便让老公自己带带 ，让他知道孩子不是就这样成长的。
Maybe I'm a very lucky person, mother-in-law and husband are not the kind of hands-off cabinet, life than my own still rely on, husband, although with most of the husband's eyes can not see the housework, but with the child is still counting on dedication, did not think of the things I said a word or he basically will do.
Now the child is six years old.
The family has had its share of disputes, which are inevitable, and the child's personality is a bit arrogant, after all, it is the old man who is more spoiled during the day.
But the child at home during the day I am very assured, and then I went to work due to maternity leave, and did not carry the milk (speaking of which, a small amount of the second I was not in the mood, the company is far away from the back of the milk conditions are not very good), so the most difficult year after giving birth to a child I basically so smoothly through the post-partum depression, but it is the psychological, and did not turn out to be a big problem. (My postpartum depression is found after the fact, there is a period of time every day and husband divorce, a little bit of small things are glassy-eyed, fortunately, I am the kind of decision will not be exposed to the personality of the people to see, the adults in the family do not know that there is also this, my husband was a minute when I went crazy ，，，，，， silent moves cold, yes, did not hold me coaxed me, alas, the novels are deceiving, just now often be turned black history).
In the end, whether to stay 娃给老人带，自己上班。 I personally recommend, as long as your old man is not the kind of difficult, like their own experience to raise children do not listen to the advice, that kind of even if, three years of gas will die prematurely, you can bring their own three years, the child will always grow up, you can now stop for him, proving that your previous career is not so important, he went to school and you go to work.
If there are old people to get along with, it is recommended that the mom and dad go to work. You know, economic power is the right to speak, you have money even if a little less you are self-reliant can support their own, you will live with the bottom, live with the bottom can solve a lot of problems.
Don't think you'll miss your child's first time, in fact, you'll come home and see him speak for the first time, that's your first time. If you are determined to stay at home with your child, you need to make sure that you are at peace with yourself, because this kind of total dependence is very variable and not always good for your psyche.
The child needs his mother's company, but what he needs more than anything else is his mother, a healthy and fit mother.
I hope you all understand.
Hello, I am confused Longfengbao mom, my eldest is one and a half years old time to leave the grandmother to bring, I go out of town to open a store, to two and a half years old I took over the child, I regret!!!! Prefer not to earn money, but also to bring up the child properly!
In the baby's one and a half years old time, I went to do business, there is no way to give grandma put at home! How can you not want to take care of your own child? So every day to the child video, every day the child is dirty, it does not matter, it matters, suddenly love to look at the phone and TV, which makes me very annoyed, more than a year old child, the eyes are developing time, how can you always look at it? Grandma said, otherwise he keeps running, not come home, he watches TV and cell phone is very quiet, will not make trouble! My heart was broken, I never let him watch TV on his cell phone and eventually lost to his grandmother! It's now four years old and I've been slowly changing bad habits for him! It's been a lot of work and I might as well have been taking care of him myself! So when I had my second child, I turned the store around and concentrated on my children! After all, the old man and our thinking is not the same, the so-called intergenerational parentage, is to spoil the child, to meet his requirements, whether or not it is unreasonable to meet the requirements! The first thing that you can do is to give your child the right values!
Hello, I'm basically a strong kind of person, so the first five months I went to work, can not stand to stay at home a penny income. The result is very regrettable. Specific reasons are three:
First, the grandparents parenting concepts are not the same as ours, one year old or eat complementary foods, I buy rice flour fruit and so on, grandparents think the child should be the same as the adults to eat, the results of eight months due to premature feeding of the baby caused by enterocolitis, the ten days of tossing down the baby thin, and refused to eat and drink only milk, until about one and a half years old to slow down. The first time I saw this, I was able to see it in the back of my head.
Secondly, the old people think that the child urinate and defecate anywhere, wear open pants, no harm, the baby would have crawled will help to walk to start I bought a small toilet exercise, toilets will be expressed on their own. But one year and two months weaning I chose the mother and baby separation weaning, more than half a month back after the baby urinating and defecating anywhere, again a long time to correct it. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of this one, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to get out of this one.
Third, the old people think that as long as the child does not cry, to the stars to the stars to the moon to the moon, weaning after I often travel, grandparents often let the child watch TV to fall asleep, basically all day long TV, eyes open on the TV, holding the child on the phone, and can not be said, say, a say on the gas.
Learning from the pain, this second child on maternity leave in the middle of my hesitation again and again, after the end of maternity leave decided not to go to work, peace of mind with the child to grow, the baby is still watching TV, but as long as I'm free I'll play with her, read books, games, storytelling, learning English, know the numbers, and now the baby likes to learn, and do not watch TV in the evening, ask for storytelling to do the game, and the other small problems are still being slowly corrected.
I am now a full-time mom, once in the child's first year, I left the child at home to let the mother-in-law take, I went to work, but I went three days, went back, feel the child is not the same, the eyes of the eyes look at me are not the same, and do not live wave of happy, but my husband also said that I am exaggerating, but some of the child's subtle changes in the child I can see at a glance, the mother-in-law to take care of a very good, but I always feel that the baby is not happy, although she is small, she is not happy. I'm not happy, although she is small, but the heart is also clueless to understand, and then I brought her to the side, and now immediately two years old, lively and lovely, what words will speak, but also very obedient, although I do not have the money, but I do not regret it [Smile] [Smile]
My daughter is now seven months, I've always been with their own, was planning to let my mother-in-law after this year to bring, but New Year's Eve at home to see the two old men, and then I gave up, and I'm not sure if I can do anything about the child. I gave up on this idea when I saw what the two old men did to their children at home during the New Year. But her grandfather to eat anything to give the child a taste, buns, noodles, and every time to put her mouth, people reflex to eat, he took away, live to deceive the child, I can not stand, I have always advocated that you can not deceive the child, and not allowed to eat salt before the age of one year, every time my father-in-law to do so, I reminded him that he can not let the child to eat, can not lie to the child, the people with did not hear as well as the next time, and so on.
Second, my husband, his second uncle's son's son children to the elderly with the child all day are dirty, face all day plateau red, chafed, nose under the side of the yellow mucus secretion is always, I saw all the difficult, I said this is how not to give the child a clean, look at the face of the dirty, my mother-in-law said, this is what, after your so, I was like, it's not possible, the child's face and nose like that, she is certainly also uncomfortable. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots.
Third, because my daughter was born with me, my mother-in-law even diapers are very few to the child change, more will not use the diaper, the child is almost half a year old, even wet wipes and paper towels can not distinguish between the face and wash the ass basin do not recognize the towel is more distinguishable from which is which, I wash the child's face every day wash the ass, she is looking at the side every time, I do not know what she really look at, in the old country for more than two months, and can not remember to distinguish between the face, the ass, the face, the ass, the face, the face, the face, the ass, the face, the face, the ass, the ass, the face, the face and the face. I don't even know what she's looking at. She's been at home for more than two months, but she can't remember or differentiate between these things. It's obvious that she doesn't care about taking care of the child. Let people learn to bring a diaper, people reluctant to bring two times, while bringing a side said that in the future they do not use this, to put the urine, the gas I hold my breath can not come out, my husband said directly to her, do not use this with what.
Fourth, New Year's at home, sometimes the temperature is very high, warm, I will give the child to wear thin, his grandfather every time to say the old cold ah old cold ah, the child's hands cold cold cold, I touch, hand warm hoo-hoo, a little bit of cold, I told people not to touch the hand, touch the back of the neck, useless, next time, also like that. Always looking for a hat for the child with a thin hat, I bring a thin hat, directly to the people for a thick hat, the child's hot back of the head sweating, people touch and say it's okay, make me look like a stepmother. The child sweating is wearing just right, wear really good that is not, cold. I'm drunk, your own cold does not mean the child cold well! My mother-in-law said every time cold ah to the child more wear it, I said you want to feel cold you more clothes.
Fifth, the child is half a year old, I bought the child to eat rice flour, people say grandpa do not have to eat, drink rice soup is the best, my husband said that this rice flour are nutritious, added calcium, iron and zinc, people say that again nutritious, but also no rice oil nutritious, every time you eat rice flour, the child ate a little bit of good, as long as you eat less or did not eat the time, people have to drink rice soup, indignation, said, that is not tasty, certainly not love to eat. I'm sure you don't like it, I...
Six, always love to mention the past, can't accept the way young people bring up their children now. The first thing I said was that I used to have a child with how so and so, what even before there was no powdered milk, some even milk is not, born a month or two to start eating is also fine. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on a new product, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get a good deal on a new product, and I'm sure you're going to be able to get a good deal on a new product!
In the old country so long the biggest feeling is the old man with children, eat and drink enough to wear thick point on the line. The other does not matter, my mother-in-law also said that a year after the weaning can give them to put home, I directly said I do not intend to put home, I want to always bring around, I do not want the children in the old home to follow them to eat and wear these most basic, there is not the same to let me rest assured, not to mention the education of the people who will give you the education? It's impossible, so I can only bring them up by myself, so I can rest assured. Even though the economy is in dire straits now, the child's growth is only once, and she is more important than myself.
I did say some very angry things in some of the articles, but they came from my heart, and I'm just trying to talk about things without being biased.
I gave birth to my baby in June 2019 (cesarean section), and no one told me before I gave birth to a child that I would be naked in front of all these people, and after I was carried out of the operating room, my lower body has not been dressed, and the bad dew was constantly discharged, and basically I had to change the disposable mattress pads for an hour or so, and my mother-in-law knew that I was a bit of a germaphobe and had to wash my lower body many times a day for fear of lying down in that way, so that I would be comfortable. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do that. Before this I have been very disgusted with my mother-in-law nosy love cards cooking is not good, pregnancy also deliberately do not eat, in fact, the heart is dissatisfied with her, the husband was anxious not to work has been with me, specializing in making delicious food for me to eat. But from that period of time to the back to help me take care of the baby, I know more and more to sympathize with her ... the baby is full of a hundred I will be at home near a company to work, so early and late until the child is one year old, I discussed with my husband to go out to work, after all, the big city more opportunities, we will come out, at first very homesick, super want to the baby, the National Day 8 days of vacation I went back to my hometown, I Let my mother-in-law to play poker I'm at home every day with the baby, really, baby big really need energy, basically a whole day to follow the back of the watch, do not dare to slow down, one of the day the baby fell and bit his lip and swollen and a lot of blood, really I was scared to cry, luckily my mother-in-law in, she was comforting me all right, all right .......... to the seventh day of the time do not want to bring I really didn't have any freedom, and I felt like I was falling apart... Then I thought about the fact that my mother-in-law had been helping me for so long, and I felt guilty about her. She is also a woman, she does not want to play do not want to take it easy, but in order to help me bring up the child to give up their own freedom, enough to great, I do not understand why there are so many people blame their own mother-in-law to bring up the child is not good how how? All your comfort is someone for you to bear your share of discomfort, understand? The first thing you need to do is to know how to be thankful, no one owes you anything, and no one's payment is taken for granted!
Well, back to business!
My current situation is that every day I miss the baby, it is because I miss that I have more motivation not to spend money, to save money, to work hard, study to make themselves better and more stable, because I want to give my baby a good, hard example. Every day, I would make videos, repeat those words, and worry that some things my in-laws do are not good for the baby (my father-in-law would use his own chopsticks to pick up something for the baby to eat, give tea to the baby to drink, the bottles are not washed and sterilized in a more private place, my mother-in-law takes something to eat without washing her hands for the baby, my father-in-law buys the baby all kinds of snacks, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.) But I only understand one thing: my baby is a good, good example. I can only understand one thing, my baby is their own grandson, they will kill my baby, at most there will be some bad habits, baby no matter who will have all kinds of bad habits, because every baby is not perfect. If you give them a baby, then do what they want, why tell them what to do? Why should we tell them what to do when they've been through it before? It's okay to give proper advice, but it's important to understand the situation.
Finally, I would like to give you a piece of advice:
If you can't let go of your child, you should be with us wholeheartedly; if you can't let go of your career, you should do your best to fight for your child; no matter what kind of choices you make, you will be able to raise a better child than the one who is suffering from a loss of life! The child's growth and companionship is important, but the role model is just as important, may every mother be strong!
I left my baby with the old man on weekdays and went to work myself. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
I think the status quo is okay.
I went to work after 90 days of maternity leave after the birth of my eldest child, the child was handed over to the grandmother during the day, and slept with myself at night; my eldest child went to nursery school at the age of 2, and the old man only had to pick up and drop off the child in the morning and evening, and make dinner.
After my sister was born, my brother was already in daycare. I went to work when my sister was about five months old, and the child was still given to the grandmother. When my sister was still small, the grandmother was not convenient to pick up my brother, so I found a night care class to pick up my brother after school, and I went to pick up my brother when I got off work. Both children are followed by their own sleep every day.
Now my sister is 2.5 years old in daycare and my brother is 5 years old in kindergarten, and my grandmother picks them up separately every day and makes dinner when she has time. I get home from work at 6:00 or so, feed the kids, wash them, read for a while, and accompany them to bed. The child also sleeps late, both are asleep at least 11 o'clock.
I left my kids with the old man, and I went to work, and I didn't have any time for myself.
My two children are now in the middle of kindergarten, and except for one year before I stayed home to take care of them, they have always been taken care of by their grandparents, and we have to go to work.
Physical development, my grandparents in the food is very simple, if not special reminder, the morning on the white porridge, noon basically light noodles or hot a bun, evening vegetarian.
But the children's development is normal, now two are forty pounds out of the head, a 125cm, a 120cm.
This year did not go back to the kindergarten school, usually at home to play, a day is said to be in the neighborhood crazy three times, so the sun is more dark.
Learning, three years old, Grandpa began to take the recognition of words, from the beginning of the black and white cards to the beginning of the present can independently read the second grade of elementary school extracurricular books, Grandpa credit. Of course, I also invested time and energy when I came back at night.
Usually I prepare some exercise books, Chinese characters and English tracing ah arithmetic and so on, let them arrange their own time to complete during the day, and today they have insisted on punching the card for half a year.
My grandfather is very responsible, in addition to the online English and thinking course to use the pad, the other time strictly prohibit the child access to television or cell phone.
Usually, when a child commits a crime, the grandpa will punish him or her, and he or she won't get used to it. This is something that grandma can't do, so the kids aren't afraid of grandma, and only grandpa can hold down the fort.
But the grandmother can not play the phone, do not watch TV, like a camera staring at her grandchildren half a step away, this I admire.
Honestly, I don't think I'd probably be able to bring them up any better than they do if I were home full-time, so I'm thankful to have their help.
Tell me about the experience of leaving my two children with an elderly person.
When I first had my oldest child, it was 2014, and I lived with my mother-in-law, who took care of me from the time I was pregnant until my first birthday, and then, after the first birthday, she was worried that I was inexperienced, and she had her first grandchild, so she couldn't bear to see her take care of her child with me.
My oldest is the grandmother with, because he and the oldest only 14 months apart, my husband is worried about my body did not recover, not enough energy, so let my mother to help me with, but the two children are in my side, at any time you can see.
What's the difference between the two kids?Grandma every day at noon nap time, like to use the back strap on the back of the child to coax him to sleep, the child would have been lying on the bed while drinking milk, can quickly fall asleep, but the old man is to carry, there is no way, there are some things, we can not always go to the old man argued, that time is the child to fall asleep more slowly.
And sometimes children fall asleep, the elderly can not sleep, boredom, from time to time to take a player to play the square dance, the child is easy to be woken up, often do not sleep enough to get up.
The real drawback is that after the age of 3, the child began to rarely be able to nap, each time to trip to bed for an hour or two to fall asleep, often I woke up with a start, and his children's eyes were open.
The child sleep less, the development of the body is also affected, and now the height is obviously shorter than the same age.
When living with my mother-in-law, I sometimes accidentally upset her, and find fault with my anger, once or twice, but she is a very irritable temperament, time, my patience and stamina is not so good, the frequency of quarrels gradually increased, the most intense time, she madly kicked my door, I took the child to the door to lock up, such a scene, not to stimulate the child? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Psychologically speaking, parents and children, if in the child's infancy, the formation of a very healthy attachment relationship, which will nourish the child and the parents, so that the two sides benefit, on the contrary, the child's physiological and psychological development will be hampered, caused by the impact of the different degrees.
When I was living with my mother-in-law, she saw that I was good to my own mother, and she was uncomfortable, so I went back to my hometown to take care of my father, who was very sick, and my father passed away, and she wouldn't let my children pick up the phone, and she wouldn't let my children contact me, and the longest disconnect we've ever had was a full 15 days.
Fifteen days without any contact with mom is a serious separation for a child under 3 years old.
And my little baby, my mom at that time because my father died not long ago, mood is very low, and the child joyful interaction and communication is very little, the reaction to external stimuli is very sensitive, do what is listless, perfunctory state, without any real fun.
The good news is that I started bringing them up full-time about 4 years ago, and then started learning about the psychology of parenting because of them, and now everything is trying to improve.
Of course, this is not to say that the elderly can't take care of their children and have all sorts of problems, because after all, their generation was less educated than ours, and they received fewer new messages. It's really important to have a certain amount of scientific knowledge about parenting to raise a child well.
Similarly, if parents of our generation don't learn about scientific parenting and rely on their own instincts or past experiences to raise a child, they will still have a lot of problems.
Everything, or to rely on learning, learning to solve all the problems.
Fourth of July vacation, back when he was just over five months, good behavior, doze off, their own ow, fell asleep.
I go back every two weeks, he has changed a lot, will get several new skills, slowly, seven months, he has emotions, I go back, he always look at me with wide eyes and smile, but when I reach out to hold him, he cried.
Now at over eight months, he still doesn't want me to hold him.
All choices come with a price.
I know that having made the decision, these are bound to follow.
However, I am also aware that this choice has an expiration date. In a few months and years, the baby remembers and becomes dependent on his mom, and I have to be there for him.
So, this year, I chose to work well to further enhance my professional knowledge, and at the same time, I have to read well to accumulate more extracurricular knowledge, so as to provide the most appropriate answers to the baby's future questions.
So there's no need to envy anyone or judge anyone, there are pros and cons to every choice.
In-laws with children can not fully meet your requirements, you can first communicate, if you really can not stand, then do not complain, only their own full-time to bring up.