Although the world often makes women feel wronged.
However, in the world of love.
Straight men are actually more retarded, oh no, weak.
They may be able to solve the Gaussian function equation easily.
But I can't figure out why my girlfriend is angry.
The following is the story of Song Yiping, a straight man, and his girlfriend.
It is also a history of blood and tears of straight men.
Straight men, I wish you happiness.
Repeated battles and repeated defeats, oh no, repeated defeats and repeated battles
Girls and friends, you can sit still accordingly.
If you are lucky enough to meet Song Yiping.
Don't corner him with 100000 propositions.
Be nice to him.
▼
Song Yiping and his girlfriend have a cat.
Girlfriend asked him:
"If we break up, who will take care of the cat? 」
He immediately stopped his game.
Sincerely looking at his girlfriend:
"Listen to you, if you want to keep it, just put it in your place. 」
He really thinks so.
Girlfriend collapsed face:
"You mean we will really break up? 」
Song Yiping understood:
There is a trap in a woman's words.
It seems that I am asking you a question, but I am actually asking you a question.
Song Yiping likes playing games.
Girlfriend asked him:
"If we break up, will you give me the game machine? 」
He learned his lesson this time.
Shake your head like a rattle:
"This problem is not established, we won't break up. 」
Girlfriend rage:
"We have been together for so long, you don't even buy me a game console? 」
Song Yiping wrote in the mobile phone memo that night:
When your girlfriend broke up with you.
Actually, I hope you can buy her a game machine.
This is just the beginning of the straight man love class in Song Yiping.
▼
Song Yiping's girlfriend paid attention to a lot of emotional V on Weibo.
One day, his girlfriend asked him:
"If your ex-girlfriend and I fall into the cesspit at the same time,
What would you do if you needed artificial respiration when you fished it out? 」
Song Yiping chose the dog leg this time:
"Of course, give you artificial respiration. 」
Girlfriend immediately with a straight face:
"Didn't you say I was your first love? Who is your ex-girlfriend? 」
Song Yiping suddenly feel very failure:
I can't fight anything
Besides, love is nothing.
It's just that my ex-girlfriend is in a cesspit, and now her girlfriend is crazy.
The opportunity to make a comeback will come soon.
One day, her girlfriend asked her:
"Today when I was taking medicine, your mother gave me a call.
Said something happened to your ex-girlfriend
In your hospital. "
Song Yiping replied, "I don't have an ex-girlfriend. 」
The girlfriend is angry: "You don't even ask me why I take medicine?" ? 」
Song Yiping felt that he was too careless.
So I also quietly paid attention to those emotional big V.
Top Weibo is a problem:
A man went to a female friend's house as a guest.
Belong to ordinary friends
What can I do to avoid upsetting my girlfriend?
The best answer is: no.
Song Yiping thinks.
This world is not suitable for straight men.
▼
One day, Song Yiping's girlfriend had a whim and wanted to get a haircut.
Ask him for advice:
"What do you think of my long hair or short hair? 」
Song Yiping said, "Long hair looks good and makes you look like a lady. 」
My girlfriend asked, "You mean my short hair doesn't look good? 」
Song Yiping cold sweat down:
"Good-looking, short hair nifty. 」
Song Yiping thinks:
You don't want a haircut, you want to fight.
But he is familiar with emotional v.
Decided not to talk, bowed his head and pretended to play with his mobile phone.
A few days later
Song Yiping's girlfriend cut the air bangs of the heroine in Korean drama.
As soon as we met.
Girlfriend grabbed him and asked:
"What do you think I look good with bangs? 」
Song Yiping carefully according to the standard answer questioned the response:
"As good-looking, what do you think is good-looking. 」
Girlfriend was furious:
"How can it be the same?
Have you lost your freshness to me? 」
Song Yiping concluded.
It's not good to cut hair.
It is not conducive to the harmony of socialist families.
▼
When Song Yiping was shopping with his girlfriend.
Walk past a group of beautiful women
Girlfriend asked him:
"What do you think of my leg?
Or do their legs look good? 」
Song Yiping said without hesitation, "yours. 」
Girlfriend quickly came over and took his hand:
"Speak, whose leg did you see just now! 」
Song Yiping hurriedly explained:
"My dear, don't be angry.
I didn't even look at the seven women who just passed. 」
But strangely, my girlfriend is even more angry.
It used to be popular to put coins on the collarbone.
Song Yiping's girlfriend did it once.
Then send a photo and ask him:
"What do you think of my collarbone?
Or someone else's collarbone looks good? 」
Song Yiping heart under a surprised.
Adrenaline once wiped the scalp:
"I don't know, I haven't seen anyone else's collarbone. 」
Girlfriend:
"Why, I only saw my collarbone. Do you feel wronged? 」
Song Yiping didn't know how to answer.
I wanted to open a Weibo with a big emotional V.
Finally, I opened the takeaway software and ordered a duck clavicle.
▼
Song Yiping concluded.
About whether a girlfriend looks good or not.
No answer is right.
For example, one day
He is watching the Dragon Slayer by the Eternal Hand with his girlfriend.
His girlfriend asked him, "Who do you think is better, Alyssa Chia or Gao Yuanyuan? 」
Song Yiping: "Gao Yuanyuan, gentle and lovely. 」
Girlfriend: "Ah? 」
Song Yiping: "Then Alyssa Chia, a freak. 」
Girlfriend: "In your heart, am I not the most beautiful?" 」
Song Yiping felt unfair.
When doing multiple-choice questions
Who would have thought there was another answer? I won't choose any of them.
According to the Internet, when your girlfriend takes you to meet your best friend.
Be careful.
So Song Yiping was very cautious this day.
On the way back, my girlfriend casually asked him:
"What do you think of me and my good-looking girlfriend? 」
Song Yiping is happy, this is not the way to send sub-topics:
"Of course you look good, you are the best. 」
Girlfriend: "Did I say which girlfriend?"
Are you anxious to answer guilty? 」
Song Yiping thought, I'm innocent now.
I had a heart attack.
▼
Song Yiping's girlfriend is losing weight recently.
Stay at home on weekends.
She said, "Lao Song, I want to have a barbecue. 」
Song Yiping: "Yes, eat. 」
The day after eating.
Girlfriend sends WeChat to ask him:
"I said I want to lose weight, why don't you stop me?
Finally lost two pounds and rebounded! 」
Song Yiping, please remember, when we meet next week-
Girlfriend: "Lao Song, I want to eat barbecue. 」
Song Yiping: "No.
You are losing weight, so let's not eat so greasy. 」
Girlfriend: "Don't you love me?"
Don't even let me eat barbecue? 」
Song Yiping: "You didn't say you wanted to lose weight. Let me supervise ... "
Girlfriend: "So now you think I'm fat? 」
Song Yiping got it.
Girls say they want to lose weight.
Actually, I'm testing whether you think she is fat or not.
The next day, Song Yiping and his girlfriend went to eat clay pot rice.
The girl at the next table said:
"I want to eat sparerib pot. 」
The girl's boyfriend replied:
"Didn't you say you wanted to lose weight?
What do you want to eat? Let's eat vegetarian dishes. 」
A mysterious smile appeared on Song Yiping's face.
At that time, his girlfriend said:
"I want to eat sparerib pot. 」
Song Yiping gloated:
"Well, you can eat whatever you want.
I don't think you are fat at all. You don't need to lose weight. 」
The girl at the next table can't sit still
Kick his boyfriend with his feet.
As a result, his boyfriend had a brainwave and said a sentence:
"You see, no wonder she is so fat. 」
Song Yiping was defeated.
Girlfriend said he lied.
▼
Song Yiping firmly believes that this is a test given to him by God.
Just get through it
It will usher in socialist gender harmony and his happiness.
Therefore, he still insists on daily chores.
Evolution and repeated learning
Girlfriend: "What are you doing? 」
Song Yiping: "Nothing, just stay. 」
Girlfriend: "You'd rather stay than find me?
Do you still have me in your heart
Girlfriend: "What are you doing? 」
Song Yiping: "The company is working overtime.
The plan arranged by the boss is almost finished. 」
Girlfriend:
"Are you so busy that you don't even have time to send me a ten-second WeChat?
Do you still have me in your heart
Girlfriend: "What are you doing? 」
Song Yiping: "I miss you. 」
Girlfriend: "You don't think I'm looking for me?
Do you still have me in your heart
Song Yiping decided to fight back.
Song Yiping: "I miss you. What are you doing? 」
Girlfriend: "Nothing, just stay. 」
Song Yiping: You'd rather stay than find me?
Do you still have me in your heart
Girlfriend: "If I can't find you,
Aren't you going to come to me?
What's your attitude? 」
Action failure
Song Yiping, pawn
This is the story of Song Yiping, a straight man, and his girlfriend.