Resolution:
Opening Line:
Shizu's Secret Diary
I've always thought I wouldn't live past eighteen ............. Becoming an adult isn't good at all, anyway. You can no longer stay in bed, play with your beloved toys with honor, or shirk off responsibilities you don't like. Most importantly, you can no longer have an innocent smile; because adults, really dirty .....
Youth, in the end, what is it? It is the years of free will and wantonly waving self? Or enjoy the innocent amusement park ....? In any case, if I can, I hope to continue like this forever, never grow up, always and forever stay in my seventeen years .......
When did I start liking him? I can't remember. I only know that every time I see him, my heart always speeds up inexplicably, as if there is a boiling blood running inside my body ....
I like this feeling, I like the uncertainty of being so close and as if so far away.... Because I know, no matter how lonely I am, how sad, in this world, there is still an object that can be attached to, my mind, is followed by him tightly tied ......
Jing's secret diary
How many secrets can be hidden in a person's heart? How many years can a secret be hidden?
My secrets, all locked in a box,
Some are painful, some are happy, some are sad, some are sorrowful,
and some...even I want to forget ...............
A person's heart can have many, many secrets ....................
Jing's Secret Diary
Recently, a bewildered and fragile voice asked itself coldly:
What are you afraid of losing? Losing your favorite doll;
Losing a first love you can't have;
Losing an innocent smile you've already lost ......
In the midst of the loss of little by little,
what you thought you had,
is just a disfigured corpse of Chun Chun...
The first time I saw you, I was afraid of losing your favorite doll. ...
Jing's Secret Diary
If someone promises you something, it's only out of a momentary mood, or a moment of pity, no matter how much they say it, it's not a promise .....
The real commitment, the need for responsibility, but also need to come from the bottom of the heart of trust; when the other side nodded that moment, you look at each other's eyes, know that they put themselves into his hands, there will be no danger, and there is a kind of peace of mind, a very comfortable feeling ....... The most sincere promise, is to death will not regret the agreement; when you know someone is willing to give you such a guarantee, you will really be so happy, so happy, as if the whole world's wind chimes, at the same time rang ..........
Should we believe in promises? Or should we not make any promises at all ...... Because of every possible reason, sooner or later we will betray our promises, and then fulfill our betrayal with more lies ......................
Jing's Secret Diary＜The Fifth Word＞ Love Betrayal
To be loved is blissful; to be betrayed is painful. Some people say that a person who loves you may not not betray you; if he betrays you, it does not mean that he does not love you ....... However, feelings if the building in so ambiguous and unclear relationship, that is not to say: the more betrayal, on behalf of the more love? So we can only swing between love and betrayal forever, no end?
The secret diary of Jing, the sixth word, lies
Which one do you want to hear, the cruel truth or the beautiful lies? There was a time when I told ninety-nine truths that no one would believe, and the only lie that everyone took seriously. From that time on, I realized that all people would rather live among lies, because lying, not to deceive others, but to deceive themselves .....
Now I can't tell what's a lie and what's real; when can I be honest with myself?... Perhaps, it will have to wait until the day when I can no longer speak...
What happened to the sheep herder in the fairy tale? In the face of the wolf bites dead sheep carcasses all over the hillside, what is in his heart? I believe that what he hated at that time was not his lying self, nor those ferocious wolves, but those villagers who thought they were peaceful, but allowed him to helplessly witness the brutal killings. .....
Jing's Secret Diary
Envy and jealousy are just a hair's breadth apart.
People always think that envy is a bit kinder than jealousy, but for me, envy is just a stupid, negative behavior. I enjoy being envious, and I enjoy making people envious, because it provides me with a motivation to face the imperfections of myself and the world; and then, in response to the object, to choose to destroy or transcend ..... Yes, I enjoy envy, even if it is an evil force that can consume the heart and even burn it to the ground. .....
Jing's Secret Diary <8>Fear
Why do people fear? Why are we so afraid when faced with darkness, loneliness, loss, hurt, or death .....?
But several experiences of fear have finally taught me that the reason people are so vulnerable in that moment is because we don't know how to grasp the inexplicable unknowns in front of us ....
So, if we don't care about those unknowns, and even try to make friends with fear, then fear can be transformed from pain to joy and *** right?
It's just that these joys and *** can sometimes lead to even greater fears, and then we have to put more effort into transforming that fear into a more fascinating and intense ecstasy. ..........
Jing's Secret Diary
In my heart, there is a door. There, locked away, is a beast, a beast called desire. I often cruelly lock it behind the door, and listen to it scratch the door with its sharp claws, making a kind of titillating shrill sound; until it makes a mournful cry, or even a roar of anger, then I let it out, and take it with me, looking for prey everywhere. ......
In fact, those preys are usually not difficult to find, because they, too, happen to be locked up in the hearts of one man or another. So, my ferocious pet, will first lure them out with a tame gesture, and then, a mouthful of them will be devoured ......
Of course, since in the kingdom of desire, there exists the cruelty of the weak and the strong, I naturally have long been ready in my heart to wait for the day when I am devoured with my beast of prey, together with the another, like an abyss of blood and water. The first thing I did was to get the money to pay for a new car, and then I had to pay for a new car, and then I had to pay for a new car, and then I had to pay for a new car, and then I had to pay for a new car, and then I had to pay for a new car, and then I had to pay for a new car. In fact, I listened to it all and kept it in mind until now; because, I have always been well disguised, just like my mom. I'll always remember the look on my mom's face that day, even after hearing Uncle Lin talk about something so serious, there wasn't a trace of anger or sadness on her face ...... No, I should say, there was no expression whatsoever ......
Yes, camouflage, that's what I got from my dad, my mom, Aunt Miichan, and other people. Mom, Aunt Miichan, and all the other adults, the first lesson I learned to protect myself.
Because I don't want to be like Uncle Lin, even if I try to dig my heart out to people, in the end, I still end up with that kind of lonely and helpless ......
Jing's Secret Diary <11th sentence> Game
I could tell from the first glance that she would be a good experiment for me in this game. She was plain, weak and lacking in self-confidence; like paper clay, she could be easily molded into whatever I wanted. I believe that the next two years will be very fun ......
In fact, I don't like Ai at all, and even, a little disgusted. However, since the game was going on quite interestingly, there was certainly no need to stop. ...... Because, I really want to see, like her such a pure and simple girl, in the end can follow me to sink to what kind of point ......
In order to carry out the game, I usually need some pieces, and at the same time, I don't mind to become someone else's game in the I don't mind being a pawn in someone else's game. But not every game is fun. The cruelest game in the world must be love.
Jing's Secret Diary <12th word>Sacrifice
True love is without sin, and sinful love is not true love, because it hides in it someone else's pain, fulfillment, and sacrifice, and it will always be condemned by the conscience. If love has to be based on endless pain and fulfillment, then that also means it is not worth it, and sacrifice does not change the selfish nature of love.
I wondered how far those who believe in love can sacrifice for it. Later I realized that originally I could give everything without return, only now I no longer believe in love.
Jing's secret diary
Human beings, in fact, are a very fragile animal, you only need to set a trap, waiting for the prey to take the bait, that the object destined to be destroyed, will be like a powerless to ask for help like a doll, easily twisted in the palm of your hand, can no longer be moved... Only, when I gradually indulged in manipulating others ***, I forgot that I could also become someone else's prey; until my throat was tightly clasped, no longer able to make any sound, only to realize that the pair of eyes behind me that had long been trying to destroy me, was actually ..... myself. As was the snake that devoured itself.
Jing's Secret Diary <14th word>Freedom
What is freedom? Is it freedom when no one really knows you, even in the midst of a restless and noisy crowd? Even if you're no longer innocent, you don't have to pretend to smile, you don't have to suppress your emotions, and you don't have to be afraid of making mistakes, is that freedom? And how much do you really want to be free, and what price are you willing to pay for it? I once thought I had freedom, but I spread out my hands and realized that there was nothing in them. The original freedom is like the wind, from disdain affiliated with any shell, only when I detached from this false shell, I can get the real freedom .....
Jing's Secret Diary
Everyone has the heart of an angel, while at the same time the demon is sealed in the depths of the soul. The angel is not happy, she is just an orphan abandoned by God. Before returning to God's embrace, hypocrisy, trickery, and lies were enough to make her lose her white wings, her angelic smile, and finally become a demon. Angel? Or demon? The answer doesn't matter because, well, it's not really my choice.
Jing's secret diary:
Youth, what is it? It's the years when you're able to enjoy yourself at your own pace, or when you're able to enjoy an innocent ride. Or enjoy the innocent amusement park ....? In any case, if I can, I hope to continue like this forever, never grow up, always and forever stay in my seventeen years .......
Becoming an adult is not good at all. The most important thing is that you can never have an innocent smile again; because grown-ups, they are really dirty .......
How many secrets can be hidden in a person's heart? My secrets, all locked in a box. Some are painful, some are happy, some are sad, some are sad, and some, even I want to forget .......
I love this feeling, I love the uncertainty of being so close and seemingly so far away.... Because I know that no matter how lonely I am, how sad I am, in this world, there is still an object that I can hold on to, and my mind is tied to him .......
That kiss this afternoon finally opened the floodgates for the beast that has long lurked in my heart. Only, I'm afraid that once it's released, will it, never come back?
Jiawei and I used to take advantage of weekends when Auntie Meiqin wasn't home, and spent many happy hours in his tiny bedroom, until one day .......
I like to stay with Jiawei in his tiny bedroom on weekend afternoons when Auntie Meiqin is not at home and share our thoughts and bodies with each other. Until today, when I saw the DV, I finally realized that we have been sharing the same secret for a long time .......
Seeing Uncle Lin, the painful confession, I suddenly strongly sympathized with him, and Jiawei. After all, for so many years, it is this small volume of DV, accompanied him through every day of missing his father.
The hypocrisy and lies of the adults have built up the tragedy and hatred between the two families, but ironically, they have also brought Jiawei and me closer together, and given us a close relationship where we rely on each other and keep each other warm.
There was a time when Jiawei had really become a part of my life, so that I could no longer leave him ........ Yes, I love him, I really love him so much that I swear I would do anything and everything for him as long as it makes him happy .......
I enjoy being jealous, and I enjoy making people jealous, because it provides me with a motivation to face the imperfections in myself and in the world; and then, in response to the object, to choose to destroy or transcend .......
Today Jiawei mentioned an idea to me, which I thought was very funny; we decided to set up a secret website to absorb students who are dissatisfied with the school and teachers, and secretly wreak havoc in the school, so that we can carry out our revenge plans .......
In the heart of darkness, I am Rock Barbie, Jiawei is SADE, that is the name of a western *** to be writer; in addition, we also have a *** same account, Diablo.
God's arrangement, always unexpected; sometimes, I am still full of thank God, let me have asthma. Because of this disease, so that I can suspend school, can be with Jiawei; can be on Yizhen to start revenge; can live their own, never thought of, as you want to life .......
Everything is going well, the Heart of Darkness is getting more and more members, and Jiawei is starting to socialize with Yizhen. And I, too, began to look for, the new prey .......
Just, I didn't expect to meet him on the third day of going back to school....... I'm not just a dad, but a man, all the same. Like to play this kind of betrayal *** game, and even, also happy, really let a person look down.
However, I can not underestimate Yang Renyou. Once by his kind of people stuck, certainly endless trouble, throw off also can not get rid of. Fortunately, today, I finally waited for the opportunity, but also can be a whole by the way, the rotation to clean the laboratory ....... Yizhen.
I originally thought that this incident can be in the Yi Zhen like sunshine in life, buried in the shadow of the never-ending, just like I was a child; however, I did not expect that, she got more attention from mom and dad.
It's not fair! I have tried so hard to prove to my parents that I am not inferior to Yizhen at all! But they are really unfair. Who needs them, I have my own way of survival .......
Originally, I could have ignored my parents and Yizhen and lived the life I wanted. But today, when I witnessed that scene in the library, I had a feeling of uneasiness; the only thing I had, was going to be snatched away by Yizhen again.
I arranged this game of love and asked Jiawei to seduce Yizhen, but now I suspect that Jiawei didn't treat it as a game, but rather as a feeling.
Do I love Jiawei? I am not sure. But what I am sure of is that there is something more important than love in my heart - pride. Since I can't admit to him to his face, my jealousy and vulnerability, the only way, of course, is to destroy the man who often takes away my things .......
I admit, at one point, I was like Yang Renyou, I wanted to stop there, especially after being warned by Jiawei. Until, when I saw him and Yizhen's intimate look by the window, I told myself that I must not go soft.
The person who hates Yizhen the most in the world, besides me, should be Yang Renyou! From the look on his indignant face, I knew that he would be the most suitable person to assist. Now, all I need is time, and the proper *** and guidance. I admit, I was tempted to stop there for a while ---- especially after being Ka? After the warning, until when I was at the window, looking at his intimate look with Yizhen, I told myself that I can never be soft... ...
? I started noticing Kejie Strike the first day he transferred here. Simple, kind and funny, much more interesting than that idiot Ai, yes, he's exactly the kind of person I want the most, someone who can completely turn into a pet at my mercy, with only me as his master in his eyes, and with a little ****, he'll be reporting to the Heart of Darkness in no time!
I feel that the former simple, clean Xu Yijing seems to be back again ---- is he, gave me the reason to live and hope!
Today, I take the identity of the rock Barbie about Kejie together with the suicide, in fact, the mood is complex. Originally, I just wanted to be a game to create the opportunity for the two to come into contact, but on the other hand, I really want to die... ... Because, I hated myself and these shots so much, I felt as if the old simple, clean Xu Yijing had come back ---- It was him that gave me the reason and hope to live! I wanted to be friends with him; but the beast in my heart always reminded me that I could only use him as a pet for fun. Until I saw the look in his eyes when he said that to me, I decided that I would tell him all my secrets.
Jie, will you still be willing to help me and continue to be my friend?
Jie, if now you have unlocked the password of the big head post, and see that evil and dirty diary, will you still be willing to help me and continue to be my friend?