People are born with strong self-esteem, eager to be recognized and admired by others, and think that they are the strongest one.
This is the "Monkey King Psychology" in psychology.
If parents' "Monkey King Psychology" is too heavy and competitive, it will directly or indirectly guide or influence children to compare with others everywhere.
However, when comparing, there will be winners and losers, and there will be strong and weak points. If the consequences of the comparison are not satisfactory, the children themselves will be lost, and parents will blame the children.
Parents should discover the advantages and progress of their children with loving eyes.
With a sense of security, children will be braver.
Parents should admit that they are not perfect and learn to improve themselves.
Parents should be responsible for their wrong actions, their feelings and emotions, and constantly learn and improve their educational skills.
First-time parents will inevitably make mistakes, but education is no small matter. Please cultivate children with awe.
Take your mother to a symposium on the influence of parents' love of comparison on their children! Or find a psychologist or educator to pretend to be your friend, and then take your mother to dinner, let them chat and enlighten your mother. Then show my mother more pictures and things about how difficult it is for young people to make money under great pressure. You should let her know that you spoiled her by buying jewelry for money, and make her think that her son is rich and powerful. Although you are very capable, you should show her your hard work. If you don't listen to my advice, then you and your mother can continue the cold war!
Buy a smart phone and take her to live in another city for a while. Because the people and children your mother plays with are so capable, you can't compete with them for the time being. She is too jealous. If you leave that environment, it will not be easy to see you go to work every day. Maybe she will feel pity, and you will be her meat.
Cater to him and make her happy.
The best change is not to try to change anyone. The more you want to change, the more controlled you are. We can make it clear that we and our mother are different individuals, respect each other's boundaries and allow our mother to be herself, but if her comparison affects us, we need to establish clear principles!
He who knows himself knows, and he who knows himself knows! You know that family members have such shortcomings. What you can do is not to force him to change, but to prevent his weakness of comparing with others on the basis of understanding from causing unnecessary trouble. Better plan ahead.
What's wrong with comparison? Better. It's not easy for old people all their lives. Compare what is wrong. If my mother likes to compare with others, I will try my best to make myself stronger and make her proud of me. Find more reasons from yourself and regard comparison as a spur to yourself!
Tell mom I didn't do well enough! Even if my mother is satisfied one day, you should tell her that I haven't done well enough. Finally, I told her: Although I haven't done enough, I will work hard, and our family's life will get better every day. Everyone has the heart to compare with others. The key is that you are with your mother, and you have done your best. My mother also thinks that you have done your best, and she knows that you have done your best and will not compare with others. Mom's attitude actually reflects that you are somewhat dissatisfied with her.
Old people love to compare with others, and they also love to say whose children earn more money than their own. I think it's impossible to change my mother. Most old people are stubborn, and she can only change if she wants to. Maybe we can compete with them when we are old? There is a saying in psychology that the less you want to be, the better you will be. The only way is to change yourself, try to be an excellent self, guide them to change themselves, and use her comparison as a means to motivate themselves when talking to their mother.
One day outside, there are mountains outside, and people are more popular than others. Look at what you said. Your mother has low self-esteem and great pressure. She always likes to fill it with material things and doesn't care much about what you do. She has great expectations for you. Different values, I don't know which one you are.
A kind of consumer psychology. Consumer psychology that rises blindly from one's actual income level. In general, the degree to which consumers meet their consumption needs depends on their economic income level. However, sometimes, due to the continuous improvement of social consumption level in a certain period, the demonstration effect of high consumption by "big money" figures and the influence of consumers' own "face consumption" psychology, consumers' consumption behaviors are activated each other, leading to mutual comparison. This kind of psychology can easily lead to strange phenomena such as chasing consumption hotspots, ahead of consumption and even snapping up, and lead consumption behavior into misunderstanding. It is also conducive to promoting continuous progress and people going higher.
1. Talk to your mother more, tell her what you think is wrong with you, and give her advice. Be patient, as a mother, you can still understand the child's pains and can't help but say it. Otherwise, your own gully will get bigger and bigger.
2. It's a little fun to find something for her to do, but the old people just can't be idle, such as making small videos, dancing square dances and clubs for the elderly. . . Go out and see him more, and you will know that it is not easy for you, and you will feel so considerate.
If it is inconvenient for you, please understand your relatives and friends to enlighten your mother. There is a saying that "you are lost in the game, and the onlookers see clearly". They are objective and have no help.
4. It is recommended that mothers read relevant books and materials.
The main thing is that you and your mother understand each other and change the concept that no one is perfect without money.