Mark Twain once said this. Twain once said, "When you can't make up your mind, tell the truth. It will embarrass your opponents and relieve your friends." Therefore, the point of view of psychologists is: don't lie easily, even if it is a well-intentioned lie
The second defense of the opposing side, please note that even if it is a well-intentioned lie, but as a lie itself, it is already an act contrary to integrity, so whether the lie is in a good purpose or not, as a lie itself is bound to impede the integrity. Therefore, here I would like to raise my voice, let us reject the well-intentioned lies, *** together to build a society of integrity.
Please note that your defense has a big omission. We believe that the first thing to distinguish between things should start from the definition of elaboration, comprehensive KangXi dictionary interpretation, good faith lies is not factual, say false, false, exaggerated, cover up, distort the truth. From the well-intentioned lie phrase structure to start the analysis, it is a partial phrase, the center word is lie, so the well-intentioned lie is essentially a lie. Although the motive of the well-intentioned lies for good intentions, but because of the good intentions itself there is a certain degree of uncertainty, and thus repeatedly by some "professional liars" to take advantage of - this is an indisputable fact. The "lie" itself is dark, the good and bad things are not measured by the purpose of things, the good intention of the lie itself is false. Although it faded away the beggar clothes put on the cheongsam, but still can not get rid of the essence of its lies, and lies mean deception, thus impeding the integrity. The starting point of the lie is good, but often this lie once punctured, the other side of the harm will be deeper, as the lie itself, has been contrary to the integrity of the behavior.
In China **** Central announced the "Citizen Moral Construction Implementation Program" in the proposed 20 words of moral norms, "integrity" is a very important norms, integrity is to seek "true", is the pursuit of justice. The ancients said that "truthfulness" is the most sincere of all. The first time I saw this, it was a very important part of my life, and it was a very important part of my life.
As General Secretary Hu Jintao said in his speech: "The harmonious socialist society we are trying to build should be a society characterized by democracy and the rule of law, fairness and justice, honesty and friendship, vitality, stability and order, and harmony between man and nature."
Through the analysis of the above many aspects, we believe that no matter whether a lie is in a good purpose or not, as a lie is bound to hinder integrity.
Please note that the other side of the first defense, both lies? What is good faith? That is, good intentions! Why bother to lie?
Lies, although good intentions, but as a lie itself, is already contrary to the integrity of the behavior, so, whether or not the lie is in a good purpose, as a lie is bound to impede the integrity.
With the spirit of the nation to a twilight look back, it turns out that the integrity of the lights in the end of the place. Across thousands of years, can still clearly hear: integrity is the virtue of the Chinese nation, like the Great Wall is the symbol of the Chinese nation. A person who loses integrity to leave behind is hypocrisy: a business if the loss of integrity will face bankruptcy then machine; and a nation if the loss of integrity will be on the degradation and death!
Keeping faith with the integrity of the integrity of a clean land, keep faith with the integrity of the letter to stay in the letter of success, keep faith with the integrity of the Chinese nation in order to eternal.
Here I would like to ask the other students, when a person in the loss of integrity, his starting point or good intentions?
The so-called well-intentioned lies may also lead to unforeseen consequences. And cite an example: someone is terminally ill, in order to let him live out the rest of his life in peace, family and friends unanimously hid him from the public, which is by no means malicious or self-interested, but often fails to be as good as it should be, and the deception can not be sustained, but instead, the sick person loses the rationality of cooperating with the treatment and the time to deal with their personal affairs. The female philosopher Sisera? Polk warned that such lies can place a person on the verge of a major personality slide. In her book, Lying, Moral Choices in Public **** and Private Life, she writes: " Psychological barriers are removed, the ability to discern truth from falsehood becomes more blurred, and the notion that a lie will not be detected may tend toward paranoia..." Some psychologists who have studied the phenomenon of lying suggest that anyone who wants to tell a " well-intentioned lie" to a friend, relative, or coworker would do well to consider a question that involves the psychological reaction of whether the other person would thank you for your kindness if they knew the truth, or whether they would feel that their long-standing trust in you had been harmed by you.
"A well-intentioned lie is more of an excuse" !
Anyone who uses an excuse wants to use it to protect themselves or others. To help us save face so we can endure frustration.
Gesmer said, "It is quite common to think that you are better than you really are." The excuses people come up with are sometimes unexpected. Why do people delude themselves? The American humorist Laidlaw noted, "Most people live not in reality but in fantasy, especially about themselves." Then again, knowing the truth about yourself and your friends is sometimes so brutal that it's best not to know.
Yet most excuses are destructive. Using excuses unconsciously can fool others, if not yourself. So I ask the other person to realize that more honesty and less excuses! At the same time I would like to ask the other side, if we all have this view, how can we create a society of integrity and how can we make our country grow more in terms of integrity?
I think that even if the lies are well-intentioned, the negative impacts abound. There is no need to give examples. This negative impact on the destruction of integrity is often more insidious, is a kind of chronic poisoning. Ignoring this toxicity is a cover-up. I would like to ask the other side of the debate, you say that the good faith lies and integrity are two categories, please you on the good faith lies to accurately define
A country and a nation can always be a fair heart to treat and evaluate the objective things, then it will certainly create an honest and clean atmosphere, rather than a vicious circle of deceit.
Premier Zhu?Fiji pointed out in the government's work report at the fifth meeting of the Ninth National People's Congress that it is necessary to "effectively strengthen the construction of social credit, and gradually form a good culture of honesty and integrity in the whole society". Sincerity is an important part of China's traditional morality, but also the current and future period to maintain the normal operation of the economy, promote institutional innovation, rectify and standardize the market economic order of the root cause of the action. At present, with the rapid development of economy and society and the transmutation of people's values, the lack of credit in some fields and individuals has increasingly become a social nuisance, which must be taken seriously. As the other side of the first defense said, lies are not good intentions, and lies are impediments to integrity, may I ask the other side of the defense, what is integrity? What is lacking in our society?
We believe that the opposing side in some concepts of understanding and awareness of the existence of fundamental errors, integrity is built on the basis of each other's honesty, any deception even the so-called "good faith" lies can be said to be with the "integrity" of the completely sad road to slack. I don't think we need to argue about the concept of "good faith" lies here, it's been analyzed very clearly.
The lie of kindness itself is a lie, which is unquestionable. Lies, lying is cheating, cheating is immoral, immoral things are not popular, these are playing small teachers and teachers have been taught. But we ask ourselves, and who has not told lies? Whether it is to their loved ones, friends, or do not know each other, there are many kinds of purposes, but when we add a lie to the "good intentions", as if everyone may accept it, which is precisely the weakness of human nature is the focus of the performance.
Mark Twain once said this. Twain once said, "When you can't make up your mind, tell the truth. It will embarrass your opponents and relieve your friends." Therefore, the point of view of psychologists is: do not easily lie, even if it is a well-intentioned lie.
The second defense of the other side please note that even if it is a well-intentioned lie, but as a lie itself, it is already an act against integrity, so whether the lie is in a good purpose or not, as a lie itself is bound to impede integrity. Therefore, here I would like to raise my voice, let us reject the well-intentioned lies, *** with to build a society of integrity.
We believe that the distinction between things should first be elaborated from the definition of the first, the comprehensive KangXi dictionary interpretation, well-intentioned lies is not factual, falsehoods, falsehoods, exaggeration, cover up, distortion of the truth. From the well-intentioned lie phrase structure to start the analysis, it is a partial phrase, the center word is lie, so the well-intentioned lie is essentially a lie. Although the motive of the well-intentioned lies for good intentions, but because of the good intentions itself there is a certain degree of uncertainty, and thus repeatedly by some "professional liars" to take advantage of - this is an indisputable fact. The "lie" itself is dark, the good and bad things are not measured by the purpose of things, the good intention of the lie itself is false. Although it faded away the beggar clothes put on the cheongsam, but still can not get rid of the essence of its lies, and lies mean deception, thus impeding the integrity. The starting point of the lie is good, but often this lie once punctured, the other side of the harm will be deeper, as the lie itself, has been contrary to the integrity of the behavior.
In China **** Central announced the "Citizen Moral Construction Implementation Program" in the proposed 20-word ethical norms, "integrity" is a very important norms, integrity is to seek "true", is the pursuit of justice. The ancients said that "truthfulness" is the most sincere of all. The first time I saw this, it was a very important part of my life, and it was a very important part of my life.
As General Secretary Hu Jintao said in his speech: "The harmonious socialist society we are trying to build should be a society characterized by democracy and the rule of law, fairness and justice, honesty and friendship, vitality, stability and order, and harmony between man and nature."
Through the above multi-faceted analysis, we believe that regardless of whether a lie is in a good purpose or not, as a lie is bound to hinder integrity.
Both lies? What is good intention? That is, good intentions! Why bother to lie?
The lie, though well-intentioned, as a lie itself, is already an act contrary to integrity, so whether or not the lie is in a good purpose, as a lie is bound to impede integrity.
With the spirit of the nation to a twilight look back, it turns out that the integrity of the lights in the end of the place. Across thousands of years, can still clearly hear: integrity is the virtue of the Chinese nation, like the Great Wall is the symbol of the Chinese nation. A person who loses integrity to leave behind is hypocrisy: a business if the loss of integrity will face bankruptcy then machine; and a nation if the loss of integrity will be on the degeneration and death!
Keeping faith with the integrity of the integrity of a clean land, keep faith with the integrity of the letter to stay in the letter of success, keep faith with the integrity of the Chinese nation in order to eternal.
Here I would like to ask the other students, when a person in the loss of integrity, his starting point or good intentions?
The so-called well-intentioned lies may also lead to unforeseen consequences. And cite an example: someone is terminally ill, in order to let him live out the rest of his life in peace, family and friends unanimously hid him from the public, which is by no means malicious or self-interested, but often fails to be as good as it should be, and the deception can not be sustained, but instead, the sick person loses the rationality of cooperating with the treatment and the time to deal with their personal affairs. The female philosopher Sisera? Polk warned that such lies can place a person on the verge of a major personality slide. In her book, Lying, Moral Choices in Public **** and Private Life, she writes: " Psychological barriers are removed, the ability to discern truth from falsehood becomes more blurred, and the notion that a lie will not be detected may tend toward paranoia..." Some psychologists who have studied the phenomenon of lying suggest that anyone who wants to tell a " well-intentioned lie" to a friend, relative, or coworker would do well to consider a question that involves the psychological reaction of whether the other person would thank you for your kindness if they knew the truth, or whether they would feel that their long-standing trust in you had been harmed by you.
"A well-intentioned lie is more of an excuse" !
Anyone who uses an excuse wants to use it to protect themselves or others. To help us save face so we can endure frustration.
Gesmer said, "It is quite common to think that you are better than you really are." The excuses people come up with are sometimes unexpected. Why do people delude themselves? The American humorist Laidlaw noted, "Most people live not in reality but in fantasy, especially about themselves." Then again, knowing the truth about yourself and your friends is sometimes so brutal that it's best not to know.
Yet most excuses are destructive. Using excuses unconsciously can fool others, if not yourself. So I ask the other person to realize that more honesty and less excuses! At the same time, I would like to ask my opponent how to create a society of integrity and how to make our country grow more in terms of integrity if we all have this view?
You have not answered the question of the third defense, I think that even if the lies are well-intentioned, the negative impacts abound. There is no need to give examples. This negative impact on the integrity of the damage is often more insidious, is a kind of chronic poisoning. Ignoring this toxicity is a cover-up. I would like to ask the other side of the debate, you say that good lies and integrity are two categories, please good lies on the precise definition?
When two people are in love, both sides promise never to change their hearts, but later still broke up, this was a well-intentioned lie, and then the victimized party suffered a serious blow. 1+1=2 is not the need for us to continue to argue that this is a very simple question. It is a very simple question. It is like the idea that a good lie is an excuse. Japan's disregard for historical facts and distortion of history is strongly condemned by most Asian people. When the President of Germany piously made a confession to the victims of World War II, he got not only the Nobel Peace Prize, but also the understanding and tolerance of the people of the world.
If a country and a nation can always treat and evaluate objective things with a fair heart, then it will definitely create an honest and clean atmosphere, instead of a vicious circle of deceit.
Premier Zhu?Fiji pointed out in the government's work report at the fifth meeting of the Ninth National People's Congress that it is necessary to "effectively strengthen the construction of social credit, and gradually form a good culture of honesty and integrity in the whole society". Sincerity is an important part of China's traditional morality, but also the current and future period to maintain the normal operation of the economy, promote institutional innovation, rectify and standardize the market economic order of the root cause of the action. At present, with the rapid development of economy and society and the transmutation of people's values, the lack of credit in some fields and individuals has increasingly become a social nuisance, which must be taken seriously. As the other side of the first defense said, lies are not good intentions, and lies are impediments to integrity, may I ask the other side of the defense, what is integrity? What is lacking in our society?
We believe that the so-called good lie is to hinder the integrity, of course, the lie here is not the shocking scam that people usually say, but only the lie that pretends to express affirmation or support (in fact, not in favor of) the practice, opinion or viewpoints of spouses, relatives and friends.
Here's an example of a company manager in Southern California named Tom. Tom goes to his mother-in-law's house every year with his wife and his son for Thanksgiving. He actually dislikes one of his mother-in-law's "specialty" pumpkin pies, but tells her how delicious her pie is so as not to hurt her feelings. "Is that wrong?" Tom asked during his counseling session with his therapist. It's a question that quite a few people ask. This psychologist asked him to look at the lie from his mother-in-law's point of view. Suppose one day Tom's son spilled the beans in front of his grandmother and the mother-in-law found out how Tom really felt, would she tell Tom, "Thank you for your kindness?" Or would she feel emotionally hurt and say, "How could you mislead me like that all these years? What else have you been hiding from me?" And, what kind of questions will Tom's mother-in-law have about herself? Is Tom's son going to imitate his father's lying? What will he think of his father's character? Will he ever believe anything his father says again?
A novelist once wrote, "The first time we try to lie, we are caught in a web of disorder of our own making."
We believe that the opposite side has a fundamental error in the understanding of some concepts, integrity is based on mutual honesty, any deception, even the so-called "good faith" lies can be said to be completely with the "integrity" of the sad road and flaccid. I don't think we need to argue about the concept of "good faith" lies here, it has been analyzed very clearly.
The pursuit of honesty has been honored in ancient times. History back to 359 BC, the Qin dynasty Shang Yang legislation to honesty to enrich the country and strengthen the army. The story of the "South Gate" was played out. Ten years after the implementation of Shang Yang's law, "the people of Qin were very happy, no one would pick up the road, no thieves in the mountains, and the family had enough to feed the people". Now that China has joined the WT0 and the market economy is growing, if we let the counterfeiting and loss of credibility, it will cause great harm to the economic life and bring disastrous consequences to the social life, and the loss of trust will surely erode the trust between people like the plague, and impede the pace of the socialist market economy. Looking back at the pain, effectively advocate honesty, punishment of breach of trust, and improve the credit code of ethics and credit legal system, has been urgent and urgent
Please ask the positive side of the friend, lies, where is the goodwill, both lies will hinder the integrity of the other side of the debaters, honesty, what is it? What does our society need?
We must reject lies and insist on honesty. How can we avoid the embarrassment that the opposing side encounters in their working life? Our side thought:
Rejecting it at the beginning would have prevented the later embarrassing situation. We are now living in times when candor is unpopular.
"Don't you dare say that the lady next door is wearing an ugly hat, you hear me?"
"You're going to tell your new homeroom teacher 'I'm so glad you're our homeroom teacher'!"
We don't say similar things that we think from the bottom of our hearts, but we pick nice things to say to each other that don't make people sad. This is because we believe that you can't live without good lies.
Let's look at this from the opposite perspective, shall we? Someone is wearing a very ugly hat, and we can truthfully tell people that it really isn't very nice. This is because always telling good lies can also get you into trouble. Therefore, it is important to learn when to tell the truth and when to tell a well-intentioned lie, or it will lead to the result of not being able to tell the truth from the lie.
For example, suppose you receive a birthday invitation from a not-so-close friend over the weekend, and you don't want to go, but refuse and fear that the other person will be angry, and promise to be ambiguous. Time passes quickly, and it's almost time for your friend's birthday, you still don't want to go, and now you've found a reason to tell the other person that you can't go. Think about it, how will the other side look at you? The other side can definitely see that you are reluctant to go, and will be very angry.
You didn't say no in the first place, but you made your friend angry. What if you had made it clear when you were invited?
"I'm very happy to be invited, but I can't go because I'm in town that day."
If you had refused at first, there would have been no embarrassment later.
On the other side of the debate, you have not given an essential explanation of the good lie. What you have said is only a superficial understanding!
We know that people in this society are burdened with many obligations, and there is sometimes a contradiction between obligations, and when one obligation overrides the other, the other has to be relieved. Therefore, the essence of a good lie is a more urgent and important obligation to be implemented at the expense of alleviating the obligation of good faith.
The other side of the defense just now argument also gave some examples of some of the utility and benefits of the goodwill lie, we also affirm these utility and benefits, we also affirm the goodwill lie of the example you just gave itself. However, you must not lose sight of the fact that the utility and benefits gained through well-intentioned lies will ultimately come at the expense of honesty.
I'm sure you've heard of opportunity cost! That is, when you do something, you lose the opportunity to do something else at the same time. You have to sacrifice integrity in order to achieve the effect of a good lie; that's the opportunity cost of a good lie!
In addition, modern psychological research points out that there are two kinds of goodwill lies: one is the object goodwill lies, and the other is the subject goodwill lies.
The so-called object goodwill lies, is the starting point of the goodwill lies completely for the benefit of the other party, which more often state the situation of the object of the goodwill lie, for example, praising a mentally retarded child that he is very smart, so that he gets self-confidence. This object of good faith lies to destroy integrity is more insidious, a kind of chronic poisoning.
The so-called subject of the good faith lie, is the starting point of the good faith lies that contain the components of maintaining or making their own interests, it is more of a statement of the subject of the good faith lie of the situation. For example, a small child did not listen carefully in class, his mother asked him to go home, but he did not want his mother to blame him, and did not want his mother to be sad, so he lied that he listened carefully. This subject of good faith lies to destroy integrity is more obvious, is a kind of acute poisoning.
The other side of the debaters to the goodwill lies do not hinder the integrity of this wrong understanding, is only by the object of goodwill lies to destroy the integrity of the hidden, you do not see through the phenomenon to see the essence, do not realize that it is a kind of chronic poisoning.
Why is the object lie a kind of chronic poisoning? The psychological study explains that because the destruction of integrity by objectively well-intentioned lies is not directly perceived by people, but over time it slowly corrodes people's integrity system. The idea of dishonesty is hidden in their subconscious mind, and the phrase "For the good of others!" This phrase will then become his internal excuse for destroying integrity in the future.
For these reasons, we believe that well-intentioned lies hinder integrity!