A collection of humorous small jokes SMS for men and women
In study, work and even life, everyone has tried to edit the text message, right, SMS enhances the user interaction and entertainment. What do you know of SMS is all like? The following is a collection of small humorous jokes SMS for men and women that I have carefully compiled.
men and women humor small joke SMS 1
1, Xiao Qiang opened the radio. A gentle voice came out: "If the skin color is pink and the fluff on the face is soft, then it means that it is very healthy..." Hearing this, I could not help but touch my own face, looking into the mirror, and then smile, at this time, and then listen to the announcer said: "This time, our "Cattle Raising Knowledge Lecture" will end here."
2, the defendant promised: If you can make me only six months in jail, will get 5000 yuan. Later, the defendant got what he wanted, and the lawyer said while collecting the money: This is a tricky matter, and originally the judge wanted to acquit.
3, think you are pumpkin, love you like cucumber, smell you gold melon, kiss you cantaloupe. Hate you is Hu melon, eat you is watermelon, scold you is winter melon, beat you this fool.
4, disillusioned, have you beside me, I'm not worried; lonely, have you beside me, I'm not lonely; you are my biggest dependence, I wish you a happy May Day!
5, son: "Mom, what is called honeymoon ah?" Mom: "is a man and a woman to do the newlywed trip." Son: "Mom, you and Dad went on a newlywed trip?" Mom: "Of course we did, we had a great time!" Son: "Did you take me there?" Mom: "Yes, I did. You were with dad when we went, and you were with mom when we came."
men and women humor small joke text message 21, in recent days, the boyfriend rarely send greetings concerned about the text message, said to live a low-carbon life to save electricity and save money, the girlfriend is very unhappy. One day boyfriend to kiss, girlfriend a push away and said: in order to less carbon dioxide emissions, this is still exempt!
2, male: my heart is so tired, ask your legs tired? Woman: What's the matter with you? Male: recently I feel that you always walk around in my heart. Woman: your heart has not felt the pain, I go back to wear high heels.
3, before marriage, he said to me softly: marry me, you are a very important part of my life. After marriage, I asked him: I am in the end that part of his life, he looked at me and pointed to his six fingers.
4, "What do you think of me as a person?" A man confidently asked his girlfriend, whom he had just met. "I think you're just like the cigarettes you smoke." "Oh? Are you trying to say as dashing as a cigarette?" The man asked happily. "No, it's gulping like a cigarette."
5, love three words, love is no more than three words. "How are you" is the overture, "I love you" is the beginning, "love me" is the process, "I hate you" is the I hate you" is the process, "I hate you" is the variation, "get married" is the escalation, "forget it" is the end.
6, considerate boyfriend: Boys take his girlfriend for a walk, passing by the restaurant. The girlfriend exclaimed, "What a fragrance!" The shy boy was a gentleman and said, "If you like, we can walk again from the restaurant door Oh."
7, Q: young man, do you love the bride? A: love! Q: How do you see it? A: I bought her a new house, Q: girl, you love the groom? A: Yes. Q: How do you prove it? A: He bought a new house, and spacious and bright, we will be very happy after marriage, Q: Then you will always love him like this? A: If the future price appreciation, I will love him more!
8, one day with his girlfriend to go to the mall, his girlfriend fancy a lipstick, but I think too expensive, said "you do not wear lipstick better look, it is called natural beauty." Girlfriend greatly dissatisfied, said: "Fortunately, I did not ask you to buy clothes, or you will say I do not wear clothes better look, it is called beauty."
9, Mike: "Mary did not want to marry me, and then I told her that I have a rich uncle." Jason: "Then she must have said yes to your proposal!" Mike: "No, she's my aunt now. Auntie."
10, I sing a song, the song is lonely, lonely about you, the heart knows the plot, romantic Valentine's Day, warm and sweet honey, can you hold the hand, accompanied by the white head.
men and women humor small joke text message 31, in view of China's rising divorce rate in recent years, the Ministry of Civil Affairs recently introduced a new rule: as a special job, marriage should also come to a pre-service training. Anyone who wants to get married must first go to the marriage training center for training, including testing to see if they are ready to learn how to get along with couples and so on. After the test before the license to get married, otherwise they will not be processed.
2, lazy sheep shopping in the street, found that the gray wolf chased him, so run. Exhausted after stopping helplessly said: "Mr. Wolffy you eat me, I will never run again, because I'm going to die of exhaustion." Only to hear the gray wolf said: "build a harmonious society, the wolf and sheep from now on not against, not to chase you but to participate in the World Expo."
3, rich, the house has a home is gone; rich, marriage has a love is gone; rich, Rolex has a time is gone; rich, everything has, the trouble also came. So, give me your money and let me help you share it!
4, a beauty to apply for a job, the company opened an annual salary of 100,000, the beauty is very hesitant, the general manager added: 100,000 yuan refers to after-tax. Mei instantly agreed, said: sign immediately, 100,000 yuan plus sleep after, how can the welfare so good?
5, give me the sun I will be brilliant, give me the moon I will be romantic, give me the land I will plant some cabbage for everyone to steal!
6, happy with your blessings, disillusioned with your appeasement, meet you is my happiness, life with you I have been content, in the new year, let us *** with to bless each other, Happy New Year! Happy forever! A new start new hope, a new day new sunshine.
7, the old couple watching TV, suddenly broadcast a beauty contest. The old man looked, blushed, turned into the house. The old lady laughed: the old man is quite feudal. A while back, the old man sat upright, face more than a pair of presbyopia glasses
8, the woman traveled abroad, a few days after returning home, asked the man: I'm not there, do you want me? The man said: I want to, every time to dinner, especially want you. The woman a burst of joy. Man then said: But now I do not want, I have called a takeaway!
9, the ancient shearer bandit, hand-held axe, shouting: this mountain is my open, this tree is my plant, to play this road, leaving the sale of road wealth. This is illegal. Modern road construction people build toll booths, collect tolls, but is legal. This is the progress of civilization.
10, male: I am your husband's best comrade in arms, I want a piece of his relics as a souvenir, can you? Female: Yes! I am his relics!
men and women humor joke text message 41, today my wife asked me how I still remember her in the past so many years, I silently lit up a cigarette, told her to go to kindergarten when the teacher said that bedwetting a penalty of 5 yuan, two penalties of 6 yuan, three times the penalty of 7 yuan at this time, you suddenly stood up and asked the teacher how much the month of the packet. Afterwards you left an indelible impression in my mind.
2, Auntie Lee said: in the square dance, although sometimes just a scene, although there are many just misty water love, but it does not matter, where so many lifetimes.
3, you are: wear a hat without a brim, pretending that it is also a cook; stand on the room to take a piss, pretending that it is also on sentry duty; ride a car and fart, pretending that it is also slow to spread the gas!
4, the water of the Dongting Lake is green and oily, the feelings of the two of us only the beginning you are my heart you are my liver, you are three quarters of my life. Your eyes are like two stars in the sky: a big one and a small one; like the moon of sixteen: more white and less black.
5, go to the store to buy things a counting account 1001 dollars, I said to the boss: "a dollar forget." The boss said good. So I put down a dollar and left, the boss died chasing me five streets and asked me to pay 1000, alas, now this society ah, between people and a little commitment is gone, really cold ah.
6, in Shanghai if we love each other, the lights go out of the Bund, take her to the Bund, look at the river on the beautiful cruise ships swimming around, embracing you in the sound of the siren. Standing for 3 minutes, someone will be operating in the Northeast Henan Anhui dialect, said the brother to let me take a picture of it here?
7, in Shanghai, I will double my efforts to give a home you want, warm, push open the door to see the sea. Happiness for a lifetime. Well, Shanghai can see the sea of the house is Jinshan, where prices are the cheapest, come on ah!
8, my friend said that I am with you is a flower in the cow dung, I said to my friend that you and your girlfriend is actually the same, the difference is that you are a bubble of cow dung fell on the flowers.
9, online a center, two basic points: to bubble MM as the center, basic shameless, basically untrue personal situation. The policy is most fully implemented in men.
10, the party, the young man stared at the girl on the neck of the airplane chain pendant look endless. The girl was embarrassed, asked: my airplane look good? A: that airfield is more beautiful!
11, "Why do they run?" "Those who run in front will be rewarded." "Oh, so that's how it is. Then why are those who fall behind still running?" ... race.
12, Snow asked his dad: "Dad, is there a more KB book ㄚ?"" Yes ㄚ, of course." Dad said: "There is a book your dad I read more than 20 years still feel KB." "Ah? No way! Which book will read more than 20 years and still feel KB?" "Marriage certificate."
13, Auntie Wang said, have you seen the red fan in my hand, when the fan shook well enough, you can hear the sound of time, like the sound of the wind, very nice, I can not imagine that the first time I heard the sound of the wind, passed away is my youth. Auntie Wu said: Do you know the difference between square dance and tai chi? Square dance, the more you dance, the warmer you get, the more you play Tai Chi will get colder.
14, read with me, if not at all read the wrong will have the Grand Prize: Wang Wang Wan forget, delusion finished late delusion, Wang Wang Wan hope. Wow, you screamed really good, reward you a piece of bone!
15, in Shanghai, if we are in love, two o'clock in the morning to go to Taopu Road to eat late-night snacks, drink a cup of blood glutinous rice milk tea in spite of the mouth of the fishy taste of the swordfish forget to kiss. Well, after kissing may also lick out two last night did not sell out of the leek teeth!
16, spring sleep, everywhere mosquito bites, hit the dichlorvos, I do not know how many deaths. You really hang yourself with your bare ass...dead shameless!
17, the next day beautiful on the street. Yes, the third day you can see the exact same clothes in Chapu Road, 100 yuan 3 pieces.
18, I want to chase you to the end of the world, no matter where you go, I am at your side to accompany you until you die, just one thing, I am afraid of death!
19, online ugly women as much as clouds, the remnants of the flowers and willow row into a group. The first time I saw a couple of wild ducks, it was a pheasant with a colorful wolf! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this, but I'm sure you'll be able to get a good deal on this.
20, 20 years ago, Dad held you waiting for the car, people are laughing at the child looks ugly, Dad cried. A banana sales boss pat dad said: "Big brother do not cry, take a banana to the monkey to eat it! It's so poor, it's so hungry it's got no hair."
21, the night of the spiritual hall, the deceased's last photo suddenly moved. The child said to the adult in fear: "Look...that photo...seems to be moving." Adults said: "fuss, that's gif."
22, there is an old farmer in the field hoeing, a crow flew over, pulled a bubble of feces fell on the old farmer's face, the old farmer looked up and cursed: "rely on your mother! Do not know to wear a pair of pants!" The crow said, "Shit! You shit wearing pants ah!"
23, without your day, not brilliant! Without your place, it's not fun! Without your table, not sweet! Love a person easy to raise a person difficult ah.
24, a woman strange ugly, can not marry, hope to be trafficked. Finally the dream came true, but half a month to sell. The kidnappers will be sent back, she was determined not to get off, the kidnappers gritted their teeth and stomped their feet: go, the car does not want.
25, walking on the road, encountered a beautiful woman came face to face, suddenly her feet slipped, looked to fall on me, thanks to the old man clever, a gorgeous turn, the beauty of the fall full of mud, think of all the fear, to smash me on the ground smashed how to find an object ah ......
26, in Shanghai if we are fell in love, the lazy afternoon of the weekend with nothing to do together to the Peninsula Hotel to drink afternoon tea, looking out the window of the people coming and going, handsome foreign waiter to praise you beautiful, you shyly lower your head, look at me, I also look at you, as if the time carved a pantomime like a month's salary enough to buy a cup of Earl Grey tea than urine is still hard to drink.
27, girlfriend: "Alas, take you men really can not help, to tell you something, one ear in, hit the other ear out." Boyfriend: "Take you women more no way, give you say something, from both ears into, hit the mouth out."
28, now the pursuit of party cadres: there is a cooking at home, there is a good-looking office, there is a bitch around, there is a faraway miss.
29, the same point of the wife and the computer: in addition to the supplier, no one understands their laws of operation. The language of communication between computers we can not understand at all.
30, there is a lady, driving halfway through the red light. A side of the traffic to see her look at the red light to green light, green light to red light ... or stopped in the middle of the road, not moving. So the traffic police went over and asked the lady, "Miss, there is no color you like?"
31, the Buddha said: the previous life of the five hundred times to look back, in exchange for this life's rub shoulders. If it really is, I would like to use 10,000 times to exchange the encounter with you, can tell you: I want to love you well.
32, "I'm very careful about the education of children, whenever I argue with my wife, I always let the children go for a walk." "No wonder you fold your children all have a very cupped body."
33, to take you to the Riverside Avenue, see Lujiazui high-rise, the people on the street are very busy, only me and you. I pulled your hand in the endless flow of people, like a balloon that never flies away.
34, in the middle of the night heard the sound of squeaking, open the lights to see, squatting in the corner of a mouse sneaking in to eat, I was furious, picked up the broom began to play: "Let you eat alone in the middle of the night, let you eat alone."
35, a thief to a home after nothing, was about to leave, the owner said: "Please close the door." The thief said disdainfully, "You don't have to close the door at all."
36, in Shanghai if we love each other, the National Day holiday drive you to Shengsi to eat seafood, eat seafood we hold hands walking on the beach, as if isolated from the world, this moment belongs only to you and me. The first day of the long vacation 0:00 love cheap Shanghai people on the highway toll gate blocked the water and not enough to wait for you to Shengsi almost the next year in the spring.
37, dress to wear cloth, eat to eat vegetarian, looking for a wife to find a positive a pair of positive at home to do housework, vice versa with you to stroll down the road!
38, breaking the wife life system, the implementation of sister-in-law shareholding system. Introducing the Miss Competition System and promoting the Lover Contract System. Love is the source of joy, but also the pain maker, and the pain of the after-effects of the force is often longer than the former.
39, 10 p.m. to take you on the elevated, north and south elevated on both sides of the white strip of lights will reflect your face is particularly good, I quietly hold your hand, the car in the front, the time in the back, and how much I hope this moment to stay. 10 pm North-South elevated traffic jam like constipated colon you take it easy.
40, I miss my wife, you can find her? I like to be silently watched by you silently watched by you, I long for y loved by you y loved by you.
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