Characters: Liu Lanzhi, Jiao Zhongqing, Jiao's mother, Liu's mother, Liu's brother, the three gentlemen, the matchmaker, the narrator, the background
Props: handkerchiefs, cell phones (2), Jusheng fan, kitchen knives, flowers and leaves (can be torn), tables, chairs, handkerchiefs, broomsticks,
Narrator: book-speaking and singing to persuade people to side, the three avenues to go to the center, the good will be repaid at the end of the good and bad, the righteous way of the world is the vicissitudes of life. The right way is the right way on earth! Today, I'll tell you a love story, one of them, in parentheses.
Said, once upon a time there was a mountain, there is a temple on the mountain, there are two monks in the temple, the big monk said to the little monk, once upon a time there was a mountain, there was a ..... Eh? Not a temple, but a "Liu family house". This is where our story begins.
On a dark and windy day, when you can't see the five fingers of the night, ah... no! Can not see five fingers of the dark night, only to see a shadow to the lightning, cover the ears less than lightning, such as a tiger downhill, autumn wind sweeping down the leaves of the momentum of "shoo -" ran past. (Lanzhi on, trotting - super slow motion) She ran, ran, ran, ran. She ran, ran, ran, ran, ran, ran.
Lanzhi: finished running? (impatiently)
Lanzhi (as a light appearance): "Hello comrades! I am the legendary beauty and wisdom, gentle and considerate incarnation of Liu Lanzhi ....... I was thirteen when I was able to weave, fourteen when I learned to tailor, fifteen when I played konghou, and sixteen when I recited poems and books...At the age of seventeen--"
(Jiao Zhongqing appeared)
(Chorus:Could it be that the glance in the past life was only for the purpose of seeing one another in this life, ah~
Jiao: "Mother~"
Lanzhi: "My dear husband...I haven't seen you for a few days, but you've lost weight again!" (They look at each other)
Jiao: "Your mother is even more emaciated... Mother made you weave again, right? Niangzi has worked hard."
(Lan looks down, silent)
Lanzhi (looks up):"...I'm only afraid mother won't keep me."
Jiao: "Mother don't worry, I won't let you leave me, wait for me to plead with mother again" (Jiao leaves)
---- -Scene 2 <Dispatch Even More Stay>------- ----------
(Jiao's mother was sitting in front of her, Jiao went up and bowed)
Jiao : "Mother, look, Lanzhi, she is gentle and considerate, she is respectful and filial to you, why are you always dissatisfied with him?!"
Jiao mother : "good son obedient, that kind of women do not want to, mother and then find you a good daughter-in-law, look, the East has a Furong sister fingers an ugly man, mother see her is a person to see people love, flowers to see flowers, car to see the car storm tires! That and you are really a dragon with a dragon, phoenix with a phoenix, mouse with a bedbug ~ ~ "
Jiao: "Ah?!" (swoon)
Jiao's mother: "Frogs with dinosaurs~~"
Jiao: "Huh?!" (down)
Jiao's mother: "Oh~? No, it's a beautiful woman with a hero~~"
Jiao: "No, my son has made a mountainous oath with Lanzhi to be with him for the rest of his life! I am the wind and she is the sand, I am the leaf and she is the flower, I am the crab and she is the shrimp, I am the cabbage and she is the groundnut ~ ~"
Jiao mother: "Enough! That daughter-in-law of yours is so melodramatic that she can't even weave a piece of cloth well! Get rid of her quickly!"
---- Scene 3 <Parting in the morning>---- ---------- -----
Jiao (Jiao comes over depressed from his mother):"(Deeply) Mother... "
Lanzhi: "My dear husband, there is no need to say much - (background: another two people singing: good flowers do not always bloom, good scenery is not always there, the pile of sadness to solve the smile of the eyebrow, tears spilled with lovesickness, this night after the parting, when will the gentleman come back again ...)-)
Lanzhi: "You are like a rock, my concubine is like a reed, the reed is threaded like silk, the rock does not shift...".
(The two sadly left separately)
---- Scene 4 <A mother's great sadness>----- ---------- --------
Mother Liu (dressed as a boy). "Lanzhi, why are you back?"
Once she saw Liu's mother she went pear-shaped and cried into tears. (Lanzhi took out a handkerchief from her pocket and twisted it while wiping her tears)
Mother Liu: Aiya! What's wrong with you? Are you crying? Why are you crying? Even if you are crying, you have to say a reason first, without a reason how can you cry, you also have to have a reason to cry ah, what kind of reason makes you cry like this ......
Lanzhi: Mother, do you know...(gentle, sad and want to say and stop)
Mother Liu: Of course I don't know, you have to tell me so that I can tell. know, you have to tell me before I can know ah, how can I know if you do not tell me? Only if I ask you to tell me can I know ah, you do not say how can I know it? You do not tell me, I do not know, then I ...... (as a monk nagging shape)
(narrator): stop! Are you finished?
(Liu mother silenced to Lanzhi)
Liu mother: Xiaolan, you in-laws aggrieved?
Lanzhi: Yes. (wiping tears, as if aggrieved)
Mother Liu: Tell me what happened. (extremely distressed)
Lanzhi (Peking Opera "The Tale of the Red Lanterns" opening, singing): Mother, you listen to me ~ ~ ~ (look attitude big turn as a shrew-like) you say I, ah! When I was thirteen, I could mend clothes. Which of our broken coats and quilts didn't I sew together? At fourteen, I could make clothes, and that Wu Lao Er next door pointed out that the ugly man (Liu's mother interjected: Which one?) was a man with a long arm and a short arm. The one with the long arms and the short ones! If it weren't for my skillful hands, he'd be able to fit into those clothes. There's more! When I was fifteen, I learned to play cotton wool with the lady in the front yard, pointing at the audience. When I was sixteen, I knew how to memorize the light of the moon in front of the bed, and two pairs of shoes on the ground...You said that a good daughter-in-law like me could not be found by him in broad daylight with a searchlight!
Mother Liu: That's it. I'm not going to be able to do that.
Lanzhi: I just went to his home just a few days ah, I'm not even sitting on the bed hot it, his mother let me serve tea and water pinch feet and back, should I?
Liu's mother: (shaking her head in a sincere manner) should not.
Lanzhi: only two days after the wedding, my husband to get away, saying that what the official business is busy, let me alone in the room, should it?
Liu mother: should not.
Lanzhi: She asked me to make all the clothes for the next 20 years, 20 years which! (Stretching out three fingers to gesture) Should I?
Mother Liu: I shouldn't.
Lanzhi: (weeping) My life is so bitter~ I should just die!
Liu mother: should not. (still shaking her head woodenly)
Lanzhi: I said I should simply die! (Deliberately amplifying her voice to act as a hero, and stretching out an arm, waiting for her mother to stop her)
Liu's mother: Oh~~oh! My child ah ~ you can not ah ~ ~ ~ (Stephen Chow's voice) Oh ~ Lan ~ ~ Lan, you can not die ah ~ ~ you can not let me send the black hair people ~ ~ (two people remain stationary, time frozen, to achieve the stage effect)
Matchmaker (we pull a boy to play the role of the) (on the stage): "Finally, it's my turn! Ladies and gentlemen, I am the former and the latter, the famous Chinese and foreign cross-century gold medal matchmaker, iron teeth copper teeth small sweet, entrepreneurial decades, with my sinking fish fall into the wild goose, the closed moon and shy flower appearance, can be brought back to life three inches of tongue, contributed to the number of beautiful marriage, even the old man of the moon the day before yesterday said that he would like to worship me as a teacher, hahahahaha, aigoo, to the ..." (walked to the door, and the door to the door to the door). "(walk to the door, knock on the door, ding dong...)
Mother Liu: "Who ah, come, come..."
Mother Liu (open the door): "Who are you looking for, granny? "
Matchmaker: "Ah, why do you say that? I'm a young woman (doing a shy act)
Mother Liu: "OH, sorry, sorry, may I ask what's the matter with you, ma'am?"
Matchmaker: "It's like this D, Ye County County magistrate adults of the third son of Miss Liu is love at first sight, the deeper the fall, and now it is the tea and rice, water and rice ah, the magistrate adults specially asked me to come for the third son of the Miss Liu proposed marriage. (Singing: Liu family slippery girl, talent slippery good yo, Ye family slippery male, look on slippery her yo ~ the moon bends, look on slippery her yo!")"
Liu mother: "(surprised, shy) ah ah ah, and peach blossom luck! On the current form to see I do look charming ah, think of the years I am also beautiful than Zhaojun, which time out is not a million people empty alleys. Unfortunately, I'm married to someone else. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this, but I'm sure you'll be able to get a good deal on it.
Matchmaker: "(Sweating) Auntie Liu ~~, I'm here to propose marriage to Miss Lanzhi!"
Lanzhi: "Thank you for your kindness, I have made a promise with Zhongqing that unless the sea water turns into gold and pies fall from the sky, we will never give up on each other, you'd better go."
Matchmaker: "Please Liu girl think twice ah, the third son of how he is also a young man, the spirit of the wind, lupine fan, pointing to the river and mountains, exciting words, suave, ten thousand people admire ah, know Zhou Jielun not? His that styling or and our three dukes learn it ......"
Liu mother (pick up the broom, drive away the matchmaker): "I rely on, how dare to insult my idol Jay Chou ~ you old woman, still dare to say, still dare to say!" .
Matchmaker (grabbing the door): "No taste, no appreciation, OH, Jay, no matter what others do, I have the most fistful of infatuation for you ~ ~ ~"
----- -Scene 5 <shall not then be promised>------- ---------- ----
Narrator (took out a handkerchief from his pocket and pretended to wipe his tears): Alas, to see this scene, we have to send out a sigh of emotion: man, is a man born of his mother, tree, is a tree born of his mother, Liu Lanzhi is Liu Lanzhi her mother born, child is the mother's heart meat. The poor world parents heart ah!
As the saying goes: Fortune does not come in twos, misfortune does not come alone. Just when Lanzhi was depressed about being repatriated, his vicious, despicable and dirty, set the dregs of heaven and earth, sucking the sun and moon of the bad luck of the elder brother made a bright appearance. (Brother on)
Matchmaker (from the sleeve out of the cell phone, dialing, sweetly said): "hello wow, three male son ah ~?
The Third Prince... (answering his cell phone with a frown): "Hey! Did you get it done wow~~?"
Matchmaker: "...the little woman can't help you ah, I put the son of your flamboyance and dashing all said all, even my favorite Jielen are mentioned, but that little lady even is the king of the eight ate weight iron heart ah, she wants to be with that what Jiao's never give up ah ~ ~ ~ "
The three duchesses : "I swoon! How dare you call yourself a man of iron teeth? Bucket, a bunch of buckets! It's better to wait for this eunuch to come out personally!"
The Third Prince (out the door, shaking a Confucian fan, modeling steps):" The cool wind has a letter, the autumn moon has no boundaries. I'm not a big man, but I'm a big man! Although I am not, tall and powerful, suave, but I have a broad mind, strengthen the strong arm ...... "(walked to Lanzhi home, saw Lanzhi is walking out)
The three dukes: "wow! Beauty!!! (Excitedly goes up for a hug, Lanzhi dodges. The Third Prince hugs Brother Liu and wants to kiss him. After looking back, the two of them made a vomit)
Brother Liu: "Ahhhhhhhh, isn't this the Third Prince, Lanzhi, don't you come to pay your respects to the Third Prince!"
(Lanzhi walks forward uneasily and makes a bow)
The Third Prince (advancing): "Lanzhi beauty ~~ one day does not see, like three autumns, you make me wait so hard ah ~ ~~"
Lanzhi (backing up): "Prince, please be careful, I already have a lover in my heart. Zhongqing and I have long made a sea vow to be together for the rest of our lives. I'm the wind and he's the sand, I'm the toothpaste and he's the brush, I'm the turtle and he's the frog~~"
San Gongzi: "You're the swan and he's the toad! That Jiao what Qing's, ah, is he as handsome as me? Is he as rich as I am? I have such good taste? He's got a father who's a county magistrate?"
Brother Liu (followed by the third son fawningly said): "That is, that is, think of our third son of high talent (sneeze), rich in learning, tall and powerful (at this time suddenly squatting), handsome and dashing, known as a green pine pressed begonias ... ... is our family Lanzhi a moment of confusion, this marriage we are doing it! " (Ignoring Lanzhi's resistance)
Lanzhi: "Brother, how can you do this! I won't marry even if I die!"
Brother Liu (suddenly took out a kitchen knife from his waist and pointed it at Lanzhi):Are you going to marry or not!
Lanzhi: I won't marry even if you kill me!
Brother Liu (annoyed knife pointed at Lanzhi, Lanzhi made a fearless): good! You do not marry right? Good! Good~ I won't kill you! I... I... I'll kill myself!
Brother Liu (immediately crying and begging, and put the knife on his neck): Lan'er ah ~~ you just listen to my brother once. It's not easy for her to feed us, is it?
Lanzhi: This.
Brother Liu: Ah. And your nephew, who is not yet a month old, is still in the hospital waiting for an operation. The operation fee is still not settled.
Lanzhi: This...
Brother Liu: Our family is poor can not open the pot, our kitchen those "small strong" malnutrition are almost thin ants, you can not bear to see them die, so that we have to send the black hair person?
Lanzhi: but.
Brother Liu: Lan'er Ah ~ Lan ~ ~ ah, my bitter child ah ~ my bitter little strong ah ~~~~
Lanzhi: Well. Brother. You don't have to say anything. I promise. I promise. (with tears)
Liu brother: the third son, this marriage is so decided
The third son: "so good, mother, I'm waiting for a date to marry you, hahaha" (sing: if you marry do not marry someone else, you must marry me, with your dowry, leading your sister, followed by that carriage ... ... ...hahahaha)
---- Scene 6 <Self-hanging Southeast Branch>- ---------- ---------
Narrator:Zhongqing Hearing the news of Lanzhi's remarriage, he rushed here.
Jiao: "Miss Liu (heartbreakingly), should be called Mrs. Ye, congratulations congratulations ah, (bitterly) huh."
Lan: "Zhongqing, I am not going to break our promise for that fat cat, to break how to find a like Liu Huan ah, how do you not believe me?"
Jiao: "The rock square and after, can be the main millennium, bushes and reeds for a moment sewing, will be done between now and then. You're going to be the Ye family's youngest grandmother, and still talking about promises ah! How about this, in line with the principle of fairness, justice, avant-garde, why don't I also go to find what Sister Furong, so that everyone is fair, what do you think, ma'am?"
Lan (helplessly): "Hurriedly dreaming of a beautiful day, love to the depths of no complaints, thousands of mountains are separated by ten thousand miles, the next life to renew this life's destiny ~ (singing: thousands of mountains are separated by ten thousand miles, the next life to renew this life's destiny, ah ~ ~ ~, prefer to stick together in the earth, do not want to fly into the sky as a fairy)
Jiao: "Ranzhi! ..." (Lan threw away her sleeves and left)
Narrator: A few days later, Zhongqing heard the news of Lanzhi's death and was overwhelmed with grief.
(Zhongqing knelt down in the direction of his mother's room)
Jiao(kept his head down): "The soul is dreaming and there is a will that can't be fulfilled, and I won't stop seeing it in heaven and in the world...Mother, please forgive me for being an unfilial child!!!! "
Narrator: A few days later, Zhongqing hung himself on the southeast branch and followed Lanzhi. (Play "You are the wind and I am the sand")
Zhongqing: love his wife.
Lanzhi: husband.
Zhongqing: Remember our vows? You are the wind and I am the sand.
Lanzhi: En! You are crazy and I am stupid.
Zhongqing: Is this the end of our love?
Lanzhi: No, since we can't live together, but we have to die together to witness our fidelity to love!
Zhongqing: En! Then let's leave everything to God!
(At the end of the words, the two of them tore the flower leaves at the same time.)
The two of them: go to death together, don't go to death. Go to hell, don't go to hell. Go to hell. ....
Narrator: Alas, asking what is love in the world, straight to teach people to live and die together! When Zhongqing and Lanzhi were wandering between going to die or not to die, our story came to an end. To know how the two are dead or alive (knocking on the table), and listen to the next decomposition!