On the high speed train, woman A saw woman B with a baby is not easy, and took the initiative to give her seat to woman B, he went out for 2 hours.
When the car is more and more crowded, A woman had to go back to her seat, B woman instead of taking the initiative to say thank you, but feel that this is the right thing to do, A woman suddenly upset.
Later, when A woman went to the bathroom, she lifted the table, and almost caught the finger of the child B woman, leading to conflict, and finally the two sides fought.
Both sides seem to have "should" reason, A woman thinks, I gave up the seat, you should say thank you. B woman thinks, you are not in the seat, the seat should be given to my child to sit.
What exactly is a "should"?
As soon as we are born, the word "should" accompanies us, or is wrapped up in the word.
When I was a kid, my mom told me you "should" wear pants or you'd be cold.
When you went to school, your teacher said you "should" study hard to become a useful person to society.
Your father said that you should find a stable job and live a good life.
A few years later, your mom said, you "should" get married, and if you don't, you won't be able to get married (you won't be able to get a wife).
A few more years later, your father said, you should have a child, your mother and I want to have grandchildren.
At first you resented the word, but when your child was born, the word "should" seemed to become instantly relatable, and you started to use the sentence pattern you hated so much for your child, and you used it quite well.
That reminds me of something my wife told me:
Because my daughter takes a dance class every weekend, one of the kids' moms brings snacks every time she comes.
During recess, she would give her daughter a snack, and at the same time, she would give a little bit to another child.
One time the mom who brought the snacks couldn't make it, so the dad brought the kid, and because the dad didn't know the other kid, he didn't give the snack to the other kid when he gave it to the kid.
Guess what happened? The kid who didn't get a snack came over to his daughter and asked her why she didn't get a snack.
Many times, we feel that many things are right and proper, so we live in the world of "should".
When it comes to giving up one's seat, you can't help but mention the elderly. On the news, many old people swear at young people who don't give up their seats, and even go so far as to start a fight.
The network once reported, a grandmother and grandson together on the car, the car left a position, the grandmother let her 17-year-old grandson to sit, he went to force the next 20-year-old young people to give up their seats, but also sarcastic: "Now the young people books are all in vain, don't know to give up their seats to the elderly." The result was disliked by the young man: "Why don't you let your grandson give up his seat?"
Many such instances, we can not help but feel: in the end is the old people become bad, or bad people are getting old?
Probably not, there is a group of elderly people, they made a diametrically opposed behavior, seems to do some "should not" things:
2013, Zhengzhou City, more than 20 elderly volunteers on the street, the initiative "to the young people to give up their seats!
In 2013, more than 20 elderly volunteers in Zhengzhou City took to the streets to advocate "giving seats to young people.
This group of elderly people inside, there is an 80-year-old man, he believes that many times the elderly take the bus, usually to the park or to buy food, the journey is generally shorter.
And a lot of young people commute to work on the bus time is longer, work a day is also more tired, the elderly should be more sympathetic, but also to the young people to give up their seats.
This is really a stream in the circle of the elderly, in fact, the old man described the scene I believe many people are y touched.
Because of the pressure of life, many young people in order to save rent, have chosen to rent a room in the more remote places, the commuting time to work, basically more than an hour.
When they are busy with the work of the day, dragging the tired body on the bus or subway, it is difficult to find a position to rest, this time, if an old man stood in front of you, you let or do not let it?
The slogan "Give up your seat" essentially advocates giving up your seat to the most needy, rather than seeing the "old, weak, sick, disabled and pregnant" must give up their seats.
Imagine, if a dinner, full of energy ready to go to the square dance of the elderly and a dragged tired body is still hungry young people, which is the most needy people?
Giving up your seat is never just optional, not mandatory.
In the case of "giving up your seat", the woman who gave up her seat returned to her seat, and saw that the other person took it for granted, and didn't say a word of thanks, so she was angry, and felt that she had given up her seat for nothing, and that she had gotten such a response to her good intentions.
So the more you think about it, the more upset you are, the more you lift the table behind you, triggering a further conflict.
Whether or not you want to say thank you for helping someone else seems to have triggered a new round of moral judgment. I think the best answer to this question is what a mom said to her kids online:
Before you help someone, try thinking about these 4 sentences, which may make the help more sincere.
We always put the disguise of "should" on morality to kidnap others, which hurts others and ourselves.
Morality is never used to constrain oneself, but not to require others.
Helping you is my virtue, but using it to kidnap me is your lack of virtue.