Answer: In life, if only in a romantic relationship does not occur intimacy strong>, this is or for their own a kind of love and care, but if there is no intimacy of husband and wife, can only be counted as "roommates".
Ge You in "Do Not Disturb" , said a paragraph: "There is no sex love, not called love, at best called fellowship."
If we pay attention to think about it, we will find a few couples around similar to this situation.
I tried to summarize a few key features of "love becomes friendship" between couples:
The two spend their energy on work and children, lack of concern for each other, and sometimes even quarrel. Couples do not interfere with each other's behavior, and do not want to know what the other is busy. Will not tell the secret to outsiders, also will not speak with the other half, so that they are not clear about each other's deepest needs and desires. No sex for a long time, even in separate beds or rooms.
Nowadays, many couples confuse the relationship, and will see love as the end and sex as the means, while ignoring the spiritual level of communication and exchange, thus turning the lover into a roommate.
"Talk Show Conference" Siwen once said:
"Who says there is no pure friendship between men and women, you get married and try, too pure! Even if you wear transparent, he can treat you as transparent."
Then added: "Couples for a long time, it is entirely possible to sell the double bed, changed into a bunk bed, you are sleeping in my brother on the top bunk."
But they forget that the husband-wife relationship is not, after all, a roommate relationship, not a brother relationship, but an intimate relationship. The essence of an intimate relationship is intimacy, and the way intimacy survives is by having an emotional and physical relationship.
If there is no emotional dependence, no physical contact, no intimacy, and living in the same room, such a relationship is more like a roommate than a couple.
Marriage without intimacy is called "co-habitation."
Liu Zhenyun once said:
"A person's loneliness is not loneliness, a person looking for another person, a sentence looking for another sentence, is the real loneliness."
The deterioration of a marriage often begins with nothing to say, in fact, we are not afraid of quarrels, not afraid of disagreement, we are not afraid of the emotional instability caused by the storms of life.
Fear is "lazy heart", lazy heart, do not want to beat for each other, then marriage, sooner or later there will be no temperature.
Like Zhong Xiaoqin in "Just Thirty", before the divorce, she and her husband, Chen Yu, were living in a shared marriage.
While living under the same roof, Zhong Xiaochen only focused on catching up on TV dramas and raising cats every day, while Chen Yu, who spent his days focusing on his fish, preferred to spend four hours with his fish rather than say a word to Zhong Xiaochen.
While the two sleep and eat together, their hearts are far apart.
While they are each satisfied with their own lives, they have no more demands or expectations for each other.
There are too many "shared marriages" in life, where there is no intimacy between husband and wife, neither conversation nor sex. The two people **** with the family affairs, look like a model couple, in fact, has long been no love exchange.
The most feared in the relationship is indifference, no sex on the bed, no words under the bed, to put it nicely, is respectful of each other, to put it bluntly, is numb to each other, do not want to care about each other's thoughts and feelings.
At first glance, this state seems to be good, each independent, do not interfere with each other, but indifference is always the beginning of detachment, it is easy to consume consume, the love of each other exhausted.
Zhang Xiaoxian once said: "Love is a double dance, I don't mind two people are not good. But I do mind if I'm the only one dancing and the other one is just standing around watching."
Thought y, behind every happy marriage, can not be separated from the two people to each other's tolerance and passion, but also can not be separated from the two people *** with the efforts and growth, want to maintain must be two people's efforts to operate, in order to change the status quo.
Establish intimate relationship, you need the ability to loveThe movie "The Most Perfect Divorce" said:
"The worst end is not divorce, but become a masked couple, no love for each other, and no expectations, but live together, this is the biggest misfortune."
There are some intimate relationships that fade because of estrangement due to time and space, and because of differences due to three views, which we may not be able to do anything about but wish each other well when we part.
But there are some relationships that fade because of our inaction and indifference.
The two most important things to maintain a close relationship are long-term dialog and increased intersections. If two people are too independent and always go their own way, then married life can only be a repetition of numbness and despair day after day.
On the contrary, if each other is willing to spend time and effort, willing to try to integrate into each other's lives, then the two people are likely to resist the dullness of life, and remain happy in the long years.
So, when we enter the marriage, firewood and oil instead of passionate romance, do not forget, the world does not go through the blandness and wear and tear, will be able to white head to old age of couples, any relationship, need to use love and companionship to maintain.