Cao Cao is my friend, if you can say that. Our friendship has always been good.
I say "if" because it's actually a bit bizarre. This means that according to common sense, we should not be friends.
But you have to believe that this is indeed a true story. Guaranteed replacement if fake.
Cao Cao is a flea, the little gray one. They look like other fleas. Of course, it's actually a special flea. It can speak, it can speak human language. This is what I think is the most unusual thing about it, and I think many people think so too - after all, not many people have seen a talking flea. But it doesn't think so. It said that it had many more advantages than this, and that its extraordinary qualities could not be summarized by such a trivial skill as speaking. I said you are really arrogant.
"In fact, for a flea, human language is very easy to learn. As long as it is willing, any flea can learn to speak." It doesn't look like it is deceiving.
"Then why don't they learn to speak?"
"Because they think there is no such need, and they never waste time on unnecessary things. "
"What?" I can't believe it. "They regard communication with humans as unnecessary? So what do they do all their lives?"
"Foraging and resting? Give birth, and then die. ”
“That’s it? ”
“I still don’t understand—what’s the point?”
"What meaning is needed? Then let me ask you, what is the meaning of your human life? If it has no meaning, then you should not live? In fact, living is the greatest meaning."
"..." I fell silent, because I discovered that human beings are actually unable to find any meaning in life.
"You said, if I hadn't appeared, would you have thought of learning the language of fleas or communicating with a flea?"
"I never thought of it. Yes." I answered honestly.
"That's right! You humans think it's unnecessary, so why don't we? We all have our own different lives and are busy with things. Is there anything we can communicate with?"
I default, I actually have nothing to say. What more can be said? Faced with the truth of a flea, I had no choice but to shut up.
More importantly I noticed that the voice had moved away from me and into the coffee cup in front of me.
I should have thought earlier that anyone would become wiser by soaking in a warm hot bath exuding strong coffee and chess.
"Nestle's, it tastes pretty good." Cao Cao's voice was lazy and comfortable.
What else can I do besides smile bitterly?
In fact, not only have I never thought about it, before Cao Cao, I had never even seen what a flea looked like.
This is not a strange thing. For a person living in the city, fleas are a very strange thing. This ancient little bug is now hard to find in the countryside, let alone the city. Their number seems to be inversely proportional to the degree of human civilization and the hygiene of the environment - it is not strange not to see fleas in a clean place like the city, where chickens do not fly, rabbits do not urinate, but it is strange when fleas are infested.
So my understanding of fleas can be said to be very little. What I know is limited to one, that fleas are a kind of insect; two, that fleas can jump; three, that fleas can bite people, and they are bitten by fleas. Those who arrive will be itchy. ——As for what this jumping and biting insect looks like, I have never seen it. In other words, Cao Cao is the first flea I know and have ever seen.
I sometimes think that this may be a kind of fate. Just imagine if I had known that Cao Cao was a flea when it appeared, the kind of insect that bites people and is called a "pest", I would have swatted it to death without hesitation . It didn't even have a chance to speak, and just died inexplicably. How could so many subsequent stories happen?
I met Cao Cao on a midsummer night. At that time, I was sitting at my desk working on my pile of homework, and the stars in the sky were flickering weakly behind the aluminum alloy glass window. The light from the desk lamp shone brightly on the homework book, but the moon was eclipsed and silent.
I translated Su Dongpo's "Shui Tiao Ge Tou: When Will the Bright Moon Come" without emotion, copied the stiff and rigid explanations in the textbook, and mutilated a beautiful article beyond recognition.
Of course I have no complaints about this. If strange things happen everywhere, no one will find them strange. Because everyone is used to it or has become numb to it.
This kind of work is boring and uncreative day after day. But something was a little different that day. I found an extra bug on my homework book. Small and gray. If it were now, of course I would know it was a flea. But at that time, I had never seen a flea. So to me, it was just an ordinary little bug that I couldn’t name.
At that time, it was crawling slowly on the phrase "The moon waxes and wanes" and my first reaction was to get rid of it - note, it is better to get rid of it than to kill it. I have never been in the habit of killing bugs. I thought I was very kind, but in fact I was just scared. It was embarrassing to say this, but I did feel that these little bugs looked hideous and scary when I looked closely, so it was better not to offend them as much as possible.
So I deeply felt that I took a breath and blew towards it. This is my normal way of dealing with bugs. I can drive them away without touching those little things, and they won't be harmed. It's really killing two birds with one stone. Unfortunately, later facts proved that I What a wrong idea.
This breath is like a storm to a flea, and Cao Cao naturally cannot "stay still". After I am convinced that it has been blown away by me After I disappeared, I started to continue my meaningless and boring homework. This was really a too small and trivial thing, insignificant.
Twenty minutes later, I finally completed this boring task. I was doing work, and sleepiness had been creeping on my eyelids for a long time. Coffee could no longer stimulate my nerves. I rubbed my dry and sore eyes and prepared to close my homework book and throw myself on the bed to see my lovely Duke Zhou. .
It is said that rubbing the eyes can make people see more clearly. I think this is an absolute truth. After rubbing the eyes, I found that the flea just appeared on my homework book again. , small, gray, still pacing leisurely over the sentence "The moon waxes and wanes" (later I asked it if it liked that poem, and it said no).
< p>I was thinking at that time, no matter whether it knew what it was doing or not, and no matter what its purpose was, it had to climb onto my notebook. This is really a flea that is tenacious and not afraid of death, and its spirit is commendable. .I also thought that it was a good thing that I didn't close the notebook just now, otherwise tomorrow morning there would be only one flea specimen or flea martyr left in my homework notebook that was tenacious and unafraid of death, and I would be a hero who had been massacred. It is really a sin to be the flea's executioner.I am very glad that I did not accidentally crush this heroic flea. I have always cherished heroes. But now I should take this flea. What should I do with a hero? Although it may really be a hero, it is just a flea after all. I can neither talk to it by candlelight at night, let alone marry it. What's more, I can't wait for it at that time. I went to see Duke Zhou, but I had no interest in the flea hero at all. I sighed, took a deep breath and aimed at it, preparing to repeat the same trick.
Who would have expected that at this moment, it would actually speak? .
Everyone knows that the first words spoken by special characters are usually special. For example, the opening words of the little prince in "The Little Prince" are: "Please draw me a picture." Just a sheep, okay?"
I have always liked this fairy tale called "The Little Prince", and I like the little prince, a lovely child who loves a rose deeply. I stubbornly believe in him It does exist. I dreamed that one day the little prince would come to the earth from the B612 asteroid where he lived and happen to be met by me. I even worked tirelessly for this dream for a long time and learned how to draw sheep. I thought that if the little prince really showed up one day and asked me to draw a sheep for him, I could really draw a cute sheep for him - one with a sheep muzzle, and I wouldn't forget to draw a belt.
Unfortunately, my great efforts failed soon after. No matter how I changed it, the sheep I drew always looked like a dog. In fact, you can’t blame me. There was a time when I fell madly in love with the puppy named SNOOPY. I drew it over and over again during class, and the more I looked at it, the more I couldn't put it down.
Some are standing, some are sitting, some are lying down, some are crying, some are laughing, some are asleep, some are awake, some are lazy and full of energy. As time goes by, my technique of painting SNOOPY has become as perfect as fire and I can draw like a god. Of course, there is a small sequelae: no matter what animals I draw in the future, they will all look like SNOOPY.
So I gave up my plan to draw a sheep for the little prince. I thought that if one day the little prince asked me to draw him a sheep, I would draw him a SNOOPY. Then explain to him that dogs are actually much better than sheep. Especially this SNOOPY, cute and humorous. The most important thing is that it will never eat your roses...
I'm going too far. In fact, what I want to say is that I have a deep understanding of miracles (specifically, it can be understood as the appearance of things that should not appear or the occurrence of miracles). Things that shouldn't speak, such as the little prince or fleas, are very receptive. Not only is it receptive, it is simply hopeful. I am looking forward to the day when some little thing (of course, preferably a little prince) suddenly says to me: "Can you please draw me a sheep?" Then I will definitely say it to it without any surprise or hesitation. : "Let me draw you a dog!"
Now, here it is, not the little prince, but a flea. It spoke at the moment I was about to blow it away.
"What the hell are you doing with a plane? Do you know this will kill someone?"
It actually scolded me? !
I coughed violently. In shock, I sucked back the breath I was about to blow out. Now I am choking on saliva.
What’s more important is that I can’t figure it out. It actually scolds me?
Of course I know that it is a flea and not a little prince, so naturally I won’t ask me to draw a sheep for him, but I don’t think it’s too far off. At most, it would ask me to draw a mosquito, bedbug, or something else. That way I can still say to it: "Let me draw you a dog." And then explain to it that dogs (especially SNOOPY) are much better than mosquitoes, bedbugs, or whatever...
But...but...it...it actually scolded me! I...I was scolded by a flea the first time we met! (Sorry for the lines I prepared for a long time)
I don’t know what to say, although I have always been looking forward to a miracle, and I have made full preparations for it. I firmly believe that if the opening line of the miracle I encounter is classic, my answer will definitely be more classic.
But I didn’t expect it to curse! I always thought that as soon as a miracle appeared, it would say to me: "Please draw me a dog or something, please?" Then I said to it: "Let me draw you a dog!" Such an answer. It's really a classic, but it's a pity it's no longer available.
"Please...Excuse me, are you talking to me?" According to my temper, I should have scolded the flea immediately to relieve my hatred, but the problem is that it is a flea, a human being. Miracle! Surprise made me only dumbly repeat the most instinctive and stupid questions of human beings. I found that my ability to withstand miracles was not as good as I thought.
"Is there anything else here besides the two of us?"
"You, what are you?" If it was the little prince who appeared, of course I would not ask Such a stupid question, the problem was it was a flea, and as I said, I happened to have never seen a flea at the time.
"Idiot, have you never seen a flea?"
"No." Ge Ge replied confidently.
... Speechless, I guess the subtext was defeated by me.
"And...since you are a flea, what kind of 'human life' have you done?" I was so impressed with myself that I could actually talk to a flea calmly in the face of danger.
"You are stupid! Have you never heard of a rhetorical method called personification?"
...
This is how Cao Cao and I got to know each other. process; of course, if you have not been there, you will never imagine how wonderful it is to discuss anthropomorphic rhetoric with a flea.
Afterwards, I told it a story about the little prince, and asked with some regret why it didn’t ask me to draw something as a prelude. After all, that has been my dream for a long time.
"Please," it rolled its eyes at me, "I am a flea, not a little prince, and you are just a student, not a pilot! If every miracle is the same, wouldn't it be too great? No more creativity? How could someone like me... (Anyone who has seen the words and deeds of Sakuragi Hanamichi in "Slam Dunk" can follow this example, so it is omitted.)
So I figured out that there are no two identical leaves in the world, and everyone's destiny is equally unique. Why should I envy others? If I meet the little prince, it will be just a play that I have already read, and it will be boring. Quite. God gave the little prince St. Dexubali, and gave me a flea that could curse. But is it not a lovely miracle? Although Cao Cao is not as romantic as the little prince, he is also very interesting. , this is the real miracle of my life, which is worthy of my cherishment and gratitude.
So, thank you, God!
On the third night of meeting Cao Cao. , I finally thought that I should ask for its name - before that, I had been accustomed to calling it a flea and it called me a human being, just like my kind usually calls its kind. But I think this is the case. The name is dry and cold, so I want to ask its name.
"Do you...have a name?" ”
“Yes. "
"What? "
"Cao Cao (actually, according to its pronunciation at that time, it should be Cao Cao, but in order to avoid confusion or others saying that it was deceiving the world and stealing its name, I later persuaded it to be changed to these two words. The big tree attracts the wind, Too much fame is not a good thing for anyone, including fleas). ”
“Cao Cao? "I'm surprised.
"What's wrong? Are you asking why I have the same name as a great statesman and military strategist in your history books? "
"Why? "
"It's simple, because I was born in Cao Cao. ”
“What, how is that possible?” ”
“What, you don’t believe it?” "
So Cao Cao began to talk about what he saw at that time. He vividly told the stories that happened to Cao Cao. Although most of them were recorded in "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms", I still listened. I have to admit that Cao Cao is really good at telling stories.
“I just can’t figure it out. Isn’t the lifespan of a flea very short? How did you survive until now? ”
“It’s a long story. You know, generally we fleas always choose a mate to mate and reproduce when the time comes, and then die. "
"Originally——"
"Originally, I would not be an exception, but the female flea that was supposed to mate with me suddenly died. "
"Dead? "
"Yes, Cao Cao accidentally pinched it to death when he was scratching it. " Speaking of this, Cao Cao's expression was a little gloomy.
"So——"
"So I am very sad. "
"So——"
"So I became discouraged and decided to give up choosing a mate and giving birth. ”
“Then——”
“Then I have lived until now in a daze. "
I was silent and decided to believe this story.
I have always been a little in awe of it. A flea from the Three Kingdoms era, how incredible! And it is a flea on Cao Cao's body . The reputation is extraordinary. A small person like me can only look up to him.
Later, I became familiar with Cao Cao and stayed with me when no one else was around. Talk. Of course, it promises not to bite me - you know, fleas want to bite people and need to live with it. This is normal, just like people want to eat, they can't live without eating. What's more, if a flea bites someone, it will only leave a lump and itch for two days. People will eat anything, and they will kill them all if they want to eat it. If they eat it, they will spit out a few bones (if they are hungry and consumptive, they will not even have bones. Spit it out). In this comparison, aren't fleas much kinder than humans? Humans still classify fleas as "pests", and they are eager to get rid of them. In fact, the so-called "pests" and "beneficial insects" are just to put it bluntly. Harmful or beneficial to human beings, as the saying goes, those who follow me will prosper and those who go against me will perish.
Human beings feel good about themselves here and parade around. This is harmful and that is beneficial, but they forget that they have ruined the good nature beyond recognition. From this point of view, human beings are the biggest pests.
I am digressing again. Actually, what I want to say is that flea bites are forced and deserve forgiveness. Not scary or hateful. So I befriended a flea and let it live in my hair. But I don’t like being bitten by fleas either, so it promised not to bite me.
It did not bite me, but my classmates were more miserable. During that time, some classmates often bent their fingers like eagle talons and scratched back and forth on certain parts of the body, as if they were practicing. A weird martial art. After a while a strange red bump will appear in that area. Everyone is like this, it's spectacular.
Sometimes I can’t help but want to laugh. Imagine how they would react if they knew the culprit was in my hair? What would my neat mom think if she knew there was a flea in her daughter's hair?
"You should feel lucky to be able to share a flea with Cao Cao. Not everyone is so lucky!" Cao Cao said.
Cao Cao also developed a bad habit of taking a bath in my coffee. My cute SNOOPY coffee cup becomes its natural swimming pool. It said that hot coffee can make it cheerful and energetic, but I could only watch my cup of Nescafe coffee become its bath water, and I wanted to cut it into 17 or 18 pieces with a pencil sharpener.
At that time we were still debating whether it was better to be a human being or a flea. When I say people are smart, they say fleas are at ease. I said that people can crush fleas to death in one go, but they said that fleas can bite people but not fleas. I said fleas don't live long, but they said, look, I live quite a long time. I didn't say anything. After two minutes, I said okay, then I will try to be a flea in my next life. It said that it would become a human in its next life.
The days passed so leisurely, but two months later something happened that I couldn't believe even to death - Cao Cao got married.
Yes, Cao Cao is married. That day it stood on my geometry homework book and told me the news word for word. Next to it was another small gray flea similar in appearance. It is said that that is its bride.
At that time, my expression was like a shelled egg falling from the sky when I raised my head and yawned, and I was stunned.
"I'm surprised! Now we are going on our honeymoon, and I came here to say goodbye to you." Cao Cao jumped into my coffee cup with ease and walked freely.
"Then...will you come back?" I haven't come back to my senses yet, dumbly.
"Of course! I will be able to bring my flea baby to see you soon." Cao Cao was full of happiness.
"Uh...Happy wedding...take care of yourself...have a baby soon..." I don't know what to say.
"By the way, before I leave, I have a secret to tell you." Cao Cao suddenly said seriously.
"What?" I leaned down.
"Actually, I was just born with the name Cao Cao in a book called "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms."
After Cao Cao finished speaking, he ran away with his bride, running away Bian couldn't help but laugh, there really was nothing funnier than this.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I really wanted to buy a piece of tofu and kill him head-on. Not only was I scolded by a flea, I was also fooled by it like a fool!
For several days, I have been planning ways to teach Cao Cao a lesson. I must give it a taste of my power. As soon as it comes back, right away.
In English class that day, I suddenly thought of such a thing. Cao Cao's words -
"...choose a mate, mate, reproduce, and then die..."
I may never be able to "revenge".
…………
For a long time……
I laughed.
"For the sake of great love, I will spare you!"
Outside the window, the clouds were clear and the wind was clear.