1. "Scientific discovery of the nature of sexual attraction" (theoretical conditions of attraction)
1. About PEA (phenylethylamine)
You already know about drug abuse The excitement and obsession you feel when you smoke, smoke, or play games are due to dopamine. Think about the feeling of being confused and obsessed when you fall in love with someone. Is it also the effect of some kind of neurotransmitter?
That’s right, it’s called phenylethylamine (PEA). Scientists speculate that it is what makes you produce the theme of love that has been portrayed by countless poets and movies!
However, the feverish feeling maintained by this chemical does not last forever. Generally, within one to three years after you fall in love with someone, the phenylethylamine secreted in the body will be exhausted, but this It’s enough to make a person fall in love with a bang, or to say “I do” willingly at a wedding and start breeding offspring.
If you are used to seeing indifference in love, or even falling in love with someone else, you would like to give that damn him a syringe of phenylethylamine, but it is probably difficult to control the object of his love. What is catalyzed is the feeling towards others, which is even worse.
So we should learn some techniques to let his brain secrete phenylethylamine towards you, thus creating the feeling of falling in love.
2. Early sexual impression
Phenethylamine, like other chemicals, is a physiological reaction produced after the human body encounters specific stimuli.
So, what makes us fall in love with someone?
Researchers have confirmed that during our childhood, when we are about 5 to 8 years old, what happens in our lives will produce a phenomenon called "subconscious engraving" in the brain. This is "early sexual development". "Impression" is similar to the nestling complex in animal behavior.
Sex scientist John Money coined the concept of "love maps" to describe this kind of inscription. He believed that positive inscriptions and negative inscriptions coexist in love maps.
Positive engravings are like when you were a child, your mother liked the smell of a specific flower, your father looked naughty when he smiled, or your favorite teacher had creases on his nose when he smiled. When you grow up, you will encounter When you see characters in similar situations, you will suddenly be attracted to them.
Negative engravings are like when you were sexually harassed by a man when you were a child. Then when you grow up, you may never fall in love with a man with a sly smile, or maybe your surly and grumpy aunt likes a certain man. Plant a perfume, and when you grow up the smell of this perfume on a certain woman will choke your nose like smelling pesticide.
It is easy to forget your childhood experiences, but they are all hidden in your deep and vast subconscious. Until the right moment, when someone touches you, a large amount of phenyl alcohol will flow out of your veins in an instant. Amines hit your brain, and you fall in love.
2. “Six key elements of you that make people fall in love” (practical skills)
1. Overview
Scholars tend to describe love as When a virus is studied, one or two aspects of it are studied at a time, and they have made significant progress so far.
In their extensive research results, six factors clearly emerged and became the six key reasons why people fall in love. They are:
① First impression
② Similar personality, complementary needs
③ Self-esteem
④ Principle of equivalence
⑤ Heart attack strategies in the early stage of love
⑥ Secret recipe of desire
So, if you want to be a successful hunter of love, you need to master these six bullseyes. Skilled skills, below we will analyze these six factors one by one.
2. First impression
(1) Two preparations for first encounter
Eyesight seems to be the most common reason for young people to reject each other nowadays. This makes countless parents who are left with boys and girls furious. They have such a bad relationship, and the house and salary are the first priority! Sorry, eye rim is really not an excuse. Scientists here endorse it for you. Eye rim is the first impression, and the first impression is very important.
The impression of the first meeting is often deeply ingrained into a person’s brain through his eyes and left in a permanent memory. Therefore, in order to have a perfect first encounter with the person you love, please make two kinds of preparations: physical preparation and psychological preparation.
Appearance is usually the first way we get to know a person, and your crush will make a "go or stay" decision within just a few seconds of seeing you. For men, due to women's primitive instinct, they will automatically choose a reliable partner who has a certain ability to support themselves and their children, so wearing high-quality clothes is more important for men.
For ladies, men mainly focus on your appearance and figure, and are not too demanding on the quality of your clothes, as long as they look good.
Another important preparation is psychological preparation, because you don’t know when and where the person you like will appear. Sometimes, you may be well-groomed, but due to a moment of negligence or confusion, you pass by the most suitable partner in this life. What a pity! Dear Hunters, How important it is to have your radar on when you go out.
(2) Four looks that inspire love
Researchers have confirmed that everyone is obsessed with visual pleasure. Powerful eye contact can quickly create powerful emotions, so here are four communication looks to help you get there.
① A long gaze
Intensive and intense eye contact with your crush is the first step to making them fall in love with you. Because when people like something, they will look at it more.
In the conversations that researchers have seen so far, people’s eye contact only accounts for 30 to 60% of the conversation. If you want him to subconsciously activate "I have fallen in love with you", you must make your conversation Increase eye contact duration to at least 75.
② Electric Eyes
Scientific research shows that people prefer eyes with larger pupils, which are the so-called "electric eyes". If you are not born with electric eyes, then thanks to scientists, they studied "under what circumstances do people's pupils dilate" and the conclusion is: when you see something you like, your eyes will dilate.
So when facing your sweetheart, the secret to showing off your electric eyes is: stare at the part of his or her face that you think is perfect and that you like the most.
③ Nostalgic eyes
A reluctant gaze can arouse the original and slightly uneasy feeling in the other person's heart, and can also induce the kind of "fight" or "escape" secreted The chemicals they release rush into our veins and make us intoxicated.
When you have to look away due to interference from external objects or time is up, etc., please show your reluctance and show your longing eyes like a slow motion.
④ Visual Journey
There is a phenomenon that occurs between men and women who like each other: when the uneasiness of love begins to spread in their bodies, their eyes will be on each other's faces. Lingering, slowly brushing across the cheeks, hair, eyes, neck, shoulders... A dreamlike feeling filled the air between the two of them.
In order to advance your relationship with your crush to this next stage, you can use this visual journey method, but remember, especially for male hunters, to keep your eyes in a safe area, otherwise May encounter capsizing accident.
(3) The Art of Picking Up
For male hunters, the first thing you need to understand is to be decisive, otherwise the moment you hesitate, the person you like may be with you forever. This is all you have.
When striking up a conversation, you can first look at her. If she pretends to avoid your eyes, but then raises her eyes to look at you again within 45 seconds, it means that she welcomes your attention. .
Remember, try to use simple sentence patterns when chatting up, which can be asking for the time, asking for directions, complimenting her watch or clothes, and simple questions related to the situation at that time. The simpler the better the effect. Because she understands that no matter what you say, it is actually an excuse to get close to her. At this time, the simpler the question, the less likely it is to make mistakes.
Huntresses, you might as well strike first.
To embolden you, let me tell you that according to research, about two-thirds of romantic encounters are initiated by women.
If you are still shy, I can also tell you that women often use "non-verbal seduction signals" to give men room to move forward. Those men who later initiate conversations are often responding to women. When someone expresses kindness non-verbally, they always think that they are the first step in a relationship. Here are some commonly used tricks for success, see which one you like:
(4) The Dance of Intimacy
Dr. Timothy Pepper’s experience with singles bar encounters After 2,000 hours of research, he tells us that two men and women who have just met will go through a five-step dance of intimacy to reach the consciousness of further contact. See if you missed anything.
The first step is nonverbal signals. For example, when two people are within a conversational distance, they smile, nod or look at each other to let the other know his presence.
The second step is to talk. Even a simple "hello" marks the beginning of a vocal conversation between two people.
The third step is to turn around. They will first turn their heads to each other, then shoulder to shoulder, belly to belly, knee to knee...
The fourth step is slight physical contact. Be sure to pay attention to the word "slightly," such as when he touches your hand when he hands you a pretzel, or when she brushes your coat when she helps you pick out the threads on your clothes.
The fifth step is synchronization. For example, picking up cups at the same time, looking back at the same time when hearing noise outside, then immediately turning back to look at each other, etc.
(5) Tips for first conversations
① Express "I am impressed by you"
Both men and women will fall in love with those who immediately like them Have a good impression of one's own people. So in the first conversation, we can use some words, such as "great", "perfect", "great", etc. instead of the abrupt "I love you", "I like you" to express our feelings.
Be sure to let your crush know that you like them and that they have left a good impression on you.
② Always pay attention to observation
During the conversation, pay attention to the facial expressions, head movements, body positions, hands movements and his eyes of the person you like. These parts play a large role in , will reveal his/her reaction to your conversation. If you get a bad response, adjust your topic promptly.
③ Find topics that he is interested in
Listen hard to what he has to say. If he mentions a certain word repeatedly during the conversation, this is the focus of the conversation you need to grasp next. For example, when it rains, she talks about "plants", then you can see that she seems to want to talk about "plants", or that "plants" is a part of her life, and she even said that word accidentally. You have to do The key is to seize the opportunity and get to the point.
④ "We" expression
This is an expression used between very close friends or lovers. You can skip the current relationship structure and use "we" first. ” expressions to build an intimate relationship with the person you like, such as “If this good weather continues, we should go out for a trip”
⑤ Share private secrets
Share it with him. Some personal secrets, remember to be minor and innocuous secrets, such as "It took me a lot of effort to get rid of the bad habit of biting my nails" or "My hair is greasy and needs to be washed basically once a day" etc. Don't reveal your criminal record in the initial conversation.
⑥ The best first date is scientifically proven
Scientific experiments have proven that if two people experience something dangerous at the same time, their relationship will deepen. This is not to suggest that you take your new lover to jump off a cliff or walk on a suspension bridge, but you can choose some activities that can easily trigger mood swings, such as horse riding, surfing, watching horror movies, playing in haunted houses, secret room adventures, etc.
In terms of gender differences, women value verbal conversation more, so it is the right choice for male hunters to take your loved one to a place suitable for conversation; men prefer to do things with you, so female hunters, make an appointment It is a good choice for your loved ones to participate in some interesting activities together, including sports and DIY.
Of course, you will inevitably have to go to a restaurant to eat, but do you think choosing a restaurant is so easy? It's an art!
Male hunters, if you are willing to spend a high price to treat her to a gorgeous high-end restaurant, you will get a good return; female hunters, in view of men’s habit of paying, the first meal You might as well let them pay. When you choose a hotel, you can choose small restaurants that are romantic but not so expensive. He will find you interesting and not extravagant.
3. Similar personalities, complementary needs
In love, complementarity and similarity are big topics. People often say that you should find someone who complements you so that you can learn from each other's strengths and weaknesses; but there is another common problem in divorce: personality disharmony! Who do you listen to?
Research shows that this sentence is correct, the similarity lies in personality, and the complementarity lies in needs (ability).
People with different personalities, or even people with huge differences in outlook, are destined to be miserable together! And two people with the same abilities are destined to have many problems in life.
So, how do you make the person you like have a "sense of similarity" to you and find a "sense of complementarity" that says, "Dear, you have everything I need"? This section will provide some small methods. But it’s up to you to decide whether you want to pursue the consistency of each other’s personalities and the complementarity of needs.
(1) Echo method
Try to use the vocabulary in his/her language system. If he is a professional in a certain industry, he must respect his "proprietary vocabulary", and Don't arbitrarily change the vocabulary in his mouth with your own customary pronouns.
For example, if she is a dancer, and she prefers to call her daily practice "rehearsals," you should not ask, "How often do you 'train'?"
(2) Similarity in body language
Because people’s body language varies widely among various types of work and social classes, and to a certain extent, it marks their social group affiliation. . This is a very important sign to distinguish "yours" from "others", so when you find the person you like, please take these into consideration and follow their lead so that they can recognize you at a glance.
(3) Establish similarities in each other’s consciousness
At different stages from the birth to maturity of love, lovers will realize three kinds of similarities between them.
The first type is the same interests and hobbies. This is one of the most straightforward and certain, and it's easy to create, for example, what's your favorite book? Which movie? etc.
The second type is the similarity in basic values, life beliefs, behavioral patterns and world outlook. These things are very profound and very important. Many times, when your Quarry is not very clear about their own values, their body language can speak volumes. Therefore, through the "synchronization" rule that you have learned before, you can pay attention to capturing the body language expressions of your Quarry's reaction to events. Let you grasp his basic values ??and align with them.
The third type is your "views on love and marriage," or the similarities in your inner expectations of what love and marriage should or should not be like.
This is also difficult to understand through straightforward questions. You can learn about it by borrowing other people's stories, asking the other person's views on love, etc., or in the process of getting along, by observing his/her views on some love-themed literature, film and television. Collect information based on the comments, tendencies or opinions of the works, and love them the way they want to be loved.
(4) Look for his or her complementary needs
Your Quarry will always appreciate your qualities that can make up for his or her weaknesses. Through his words and deeds, you can easily find out what he cares about most and what he most wants to make up for. Through his compliments, appreciative eyes, and even when you ask him what his favorite qualities are about his ex. , you can find out the parts that he needs to complement most. Then all you have to do is try your best to make up for his shortcomings.
4. Self-Esteem Massage
Do you know what your crush wants from you?
Houses, cars, tickets, these are important, but not everything, not even that important. It is often said that "a flower is stuck in cow dung", which is very reasonable, because cow dung is a flower. Provides better nourishment. If it is a flower planted on a piece of cold jade, it must be a fake flower!
Nourish her, make her better, and make her feel that you are the discerning person who discovers her beauty and her inner self. You are her savior and her safe haven. He is his true prince, and this is the key to your heart!
A set of high-level self-esteem massage includes four elegant steps:
(1) The first step, silent praise, makes the other person feel that you are attracted by his/her magic
When meeting the person you like, use body language (such as the four types of eyes mentioned earlier, synchronized behaviors, etc.) to tell his/her subconscious that you are irresistibly attracted to him/her.
(2) The second step is to be affectionate and show understanding and recognition during the conversation.
Tell him "I completely understand your feelings", "I can imagine", "I totally agree." When listening to what she says, don't leave out the details, and insert these erotic sentences from time to time, and occasionally insert the name of your crush.
(3) The third step is to embellish recognition into daily life.
Smart hunters will implement this principle in daily life: give the spotlight to the person you like. . They will closely track the smallest details of their Quarry's life and discuss them in conversation, which makes your Quarry feel that no matter how small the things in their life are, they are important events in your eyes.
Private jokes unique to lovers are also a good spice in life. Some of the unique jokes between you will always make you smile. A little trick here is to remember to only choose things that your crush is proud of, rather than turning them into a teaser.
In daily life, add footnotes to your erotic sentences, interspersed with "Good job!", "Not bad!", "Hey, that's so smart!" or even "Dear!" , you are so awesome, you can cut mushrooms so perfectly!" Wait.
(4) The fourth step is to give the killer compliment
Implicit praise: High praise for the person you like can be said in an implicit way to make it appear more natural. For example, "Really smart people like you...".
On-target compliments: This type of compliment mainly conveys the feeling that "the thing you are most proud of is also my favorite." Think about your Quarry's self-image. What parts of your Quarry are most proud of?
What image does he most want to create in the eyes of others? Is it extremely smart, stunningly beautiful, or ethereal and holy? First analyze what you like most about your Quarry, and then praise it.
The killer compliment: Observe your crush and your own feelings carefully, think about it, what do you love most about them? What are the non-obvious things that strongly attract you to him? Make them the last verses in your hymns—the killer praises—and don’t throw them out too early or too often.
Generally speaking, once a month is enough for a killer compliment. It will make your loved one swoon. How would you feel if someone said something like, "You are the most beautiful person I have ever met."
Knee-jerk knee-jerk praise: When he completes a task, please give him a compliment immediately, immediately and seamlessly. A moment's delay may disappoint him.
When you receive praise from him/her: Please give him a positive response to encourage him to praise him again. At the same time, it is also necessary to praise him in return for this behavior, for example, say to him “Oh, I’m so glad you noticed that.”, “That’s very kind of you.”, etc.
5. The Principle of Equivalence
Robert Burns said “Love, oh, poetic love, half angel, half bird, pure wonder and wild desire. "It strikes us as outrageous to hear someone treat human quality like pork belly or soybeans on the free market.
But the fact is that the kind of love that is desperate and risk-taking happens after the love begins, and before the person you love falls in love with you, the principle of equivalent exchange in the commercial market also applies to love, Ta You need to examine whether you are the most cost-effective deal that he can do.
Advocates of the equivalence theory list six factors that people look for when choosing a husband or wife on the "free market":
Appearance, material or property, status or Reputation, knowledge or learning, social graces or character, character.
Researchers tell us that in the happiest intimate relationships, these factors are more or less equal between two people. Even if they are not equal, their various qualities can compensate for each other and achieve a balance as a whole.
You can rate and compare you and your crush on these six factors. Each item is graded from 1 to 10 points. See if your scores in each category are comparable, or if you can make up for each other between elements.
It’s true that you can’t change your looks (without plastic surgery), bank balance, and ancestry to match your crush, but you can change his or her perception of these traits. So, let’s look at it one by one.
(1) Appearance
First of all, it is recommended that you pursue someone who is within 2 points of you in this factor. Secondly, if you can't change your appearance, you can maintain a good body shape and posture through exercise, fitness and diet control, and you can behave in a way that makes people think you are a beauty.
There is a research example where two beautiful girls with the same appearance pretended that their car broke down and stopped on the roadside to ask for help. One of them received enthusiastic help from many people, and the other But no one cares about the position.
The biggest difference between them is just their physical confidence.
The confident girl held her head high and looked happy, smiling and confident. This made her look beautiful and received help from most of the opposite sex passing by. The other one had a sad face, her hands folded on her chest, her expression was unhappy and surly, and she lacked confidence - so she looked ugly, and no one was willing to stop the car to help her. Got it? Confident people are the most beautiful!
(2) Material or property
Let clothing show wealth. If you want to pursue a rich man, make sure that every single item on your body is never less than $100, with the exception of socks and underwear. This is a little trick to keep you from being instantly excluded when you meet her.
(3) Status or fame
Let your conversation show your family background. Instead of collecting and memorizing upper-class vocabulary, just abandon the use of euphemisms and speak in an upper-class voice—making sure every syllable of every word is pronounced full.
When chatting, choose topics that are considered fashionable by their class. For example, art topics are fashionable, item price topics are old-fashioned; talking about current affairs is fashionable, and strong political views are old-fashioned. ; Praise and compliments are fashionable, teasing and teasing are old-fashioned, etc.
At the same time, your language and vocabulary should also use semantically rich and unique words. At this time, you need to prepare a dictionary and find many synonyms of commonly used words, and choose your personal favorites from them. Practice using those that suit your temperament and internalize them into your own idiomatic words.
These are some techniques for you to use the "echo method" to integrate yourself into his/her environment when you are pursuing the person of your choice who is rich and has a good family background.
(4) Knowledge or learning
The pursuit of knowledge is a lifelong career that can bring you lasting and profound joy. Wisdom born of knowledge can also be a powerful asset that makes someone fall in love with you.
In order to increase your market value, never stop learning, so congratulations, joining the reading club is such a valuable thing.
(5) Social grace or personality
This fifth asset can quickly increase your price in the free market, and the techniques throughout this book can help you improve both of these areas. Please pay attention to each score.
(6) Character
Although it is the last item in the asset list, it is by no means the least important one. In fact, it may be the most important thing when people choose a long-term partner. Everything you know and experience, and every excellent quality you develop, are intangible benefits that can make others fall in love with you.
6. Tips to avoid capsizing in the early stages of a relationship
In view of the natural differences between men and women, this paragraph puts forward some mistakes that male and female hunters can avoid in the early stages of a relationship. Let everyone learn a lesson to avoid premature collapse of love due to unnecessary misunderstandings.
(1) Silence ≠ not loving, noisy ≠ disturbing
Women naturally like to chat, while men are more accustomed to silence. Starting only from our own feelings will make us doubt the other person's feelings, but what you should know is that his behavior is often just out of nature. You should cooperate with his rhythm and not do what he thinks "with other men (or women) as stupid (or annoying) guys."
(2) Male topics & female topics
Huntresses, you need to be familiar with various political concepts, objects, large toys, sports and other male topics. Show him how smart you are, but be careful not to be too smart.
Male hunters, make your language more psychological. When talking to your Quarry, talk about people, feelings, philosophies, fundamentals, and intuition. Remember, when expressing opinions, agree more and refute less.
(3) Ask women about their feelings, but leave men alone!
Women like to talk about their feelings, but men are just the opposite. This often creates unnecessary conflicts between lovers.
Male hunters, no matter what your crush is talking about, you just need to simply ask: "How do you feel about that matter?" Go ahead, force yourself to ask, and you will find out how much she loves her. Surprising, because very few men still read this sentence. However, after the surprise, she will give you a warm response.
Huntresses should be careful not to ask the person they love how they feel. Unless your relationship has stabilized or you have discovered that the person you love is a man with a delicate mind, do not persistently ask him how he feels about a certain situation. . Be careful not to let the boat of love fall into the water before it has sailed.
(4) When you are lost, should you ask for directions or not?
When lost, women are often accustomed to asking others for directions, while men always insist on relying on themselves. If the female companion next to them asks others for directions, they will feel like a fool.
So, male hunters, in order not to let your crush think you are a willful fool, when you are lost, reach out your hand and ask others for directions, and solve the problem in an instant. What a good choice!
Huntresses, when you are lost, if that fool is willing to persist in solving the problem on his own, it doesn’t matter if you give him some time. Anyway, he is the one you like, and it would be wonderful to have the opportunity to stay with him for a while. Isn't it?
(5) When he is in a bad mood, should you ask him what happened?
For distressing or troublesome things that happen to them that have nothing to do with their partners, women need their partners to listen and accompany them, but men are different. He prefers to remain silent and solve problems alone.
So, male hunters, ask! You need to let your crush know that you're here for her. Even if she says, "No, I don't want to talk about this," insist, "Come on, I know you'll feel better if you talk to me. "Then what you have to do is listen.
And huntresses, don’t ask! When your crush is in a bad mood for reasons other than you, don't push him out of his cave or make him feel guilty for not confiding in you.
Let him know that you are willing to listen if he is willing to talk, but give him the freedom to hide in his cave until he crawls out willingly.
(6) Direct words vs. implication
This is a cliché. My advice to you is, huntresses, please don’t hint. If you have something to say, say it directly. Tell him directly. : "I want...", "I like..." instead of asking him "Do you want...?" or "Do you think we should...?"
And male hunters , when you are outspoken about everything, when you make direct requests to the person you like, you might as well ask her opinion first. And when she asks you a question, don't just take it literally, read between the lines and understand her hints.
(7) Tips on common vocabulary
Huntresses, when you need help, please use "Would you like to do me a favor?" instead of "Can you Can't...?" will feel like a challenge to their abilities rather than a request for help.
Hunters, if your relationship is in trouble, or you somehow messed up, just say these three words: I'm sorry. When you use these three words, she will treat you like a treasure among men, because in fact, men almost never say these words.
7. The Secret Recipe of Desire
As a love book, it naturally includes the relationship between the sexes.
Remember the point of this book - understand each other's deep sexual needs and fantasies and try to satisfy them.
Due to the different gender differences between men and women, men pay more attention to primitive sex itself, while women pursue the feeling of deep and affectionate love during sex. The author recommends that male hunters and female hunters can watch some movies and read some literature respectively. works to understand each other.
But at the same time, she also pointed out that everyone’s understanding and needs of sex are different, and it is most critical to truly understand the thoughts of your loved one, otherwise it will easily be self-defeating.
Regarding how to explore these thoughts of the person you like, the author suggests that huntresses can arrange an environment conducive to him speaking freely under the appropriate environment and atmosphere, and then ask him, but keep it in a playful and joking manner Go ask him.
Male hunters should take into account that women are shy and allow them to keep these secrets in their hearts. They can observe them in daily life and learn from her favorite movies, books, music, etc. Slowly understand her feelings and needs in the content.
Conclusion
No earlier, no later, at this moment, people who love each other just meet. Such a story is not the normal state of love, but a very lucky one.
When we are young, love is strong, passionate, straightforward, and devoted, but many times those forceful methods are not popular with beauties.
Especially the boys, it seems that the girls their age are almost creatures from another planet. And girls always feel that boys are almost all idiots who don’t understand feelings and cues!