But the ancients often said that each other is born of heart. The "phase" shown by a person is actually from the heart, and everything shown externally is only controlled by the core of the soul.
At first glance, are these two statements not contradictory?
However, this is not the case.
You can't judge a person by the grade of clothes and daily necessities, you can't judge a person by dignitaries and friends, and you can't distinguish between people.
Its corresponding proverb is "dogs look down on people".
However, whether you admit it or not, reality is cruel. In today's utilitarian social system, it is impossible for everyone to be equal. Most people will measure a person's material level and social status by his clothes. So some people will be snobbish and understandable. The economic base determines the superstructure. Today's society has not yet developed to the level of a harmonious society where everyone loves and helps each other. Without the distinction between rich and poor, there will inevitably be spiritual deficiencies.
But the more so, the more attention should be paid to dressing up. What you dress up as is your first impression on others. In other words, what kind of taste do you want to show others? Dressing is the most direct display.
A person's clothes can be cheap, but at least decent; Clothing can be simple, but at least clean and tidy; The appearance can be casual and comfortable, but it must not be sloppy. After all, there is only one difference between natural relaxation and laziness. As for whether you want to win the respect of others' first impression, it depends on your own inner will.
Let's talk about the relationship between the mind and the heart. A person's inner nature, from upbringing, aura, nature to mood and personality, will be expressed through behavior.
We often have good moods and bad moods, because they are all written so bluntly on our faces.
People who are gloomy for a long time will frown, and those who live happily will smile. Cheerful people are lively and love to laugh, while introverted people are quiet. People who are kind in nature look honest and honest, while those who are greedy for petty advantages look sharp-tongued and cheeky. Self-confident people have a strong popularity field, while inferiority has a weak popularity field. ...
From the eyes, after a woman marries a man, she always gives people the feeling of being a little woman, and the more she lives, the younger she is; However, hard work always gives people a feeling of extreme fatigue, and a tired face makes them old for several years.
All these appearances tell us that people can judge people by their appearances, and whether you are happy or not is actually written directly on your face.
If others are not good at judging, any external actions are telling the inner education of this person.
Excellent people pay more attention to etiquette and caution.
In our daily life, we always see some people shouting in public places, making loud phone calls on buses, yelling at waiters in restaurants, walking around in high heels in the library ... These behaviors all show that this person is not well educated and has nothing to do with the rich and the poor.
I'm so bohemian in public, I don't know what a Taoist looks like in private!
You know, a person's education level is not only reflected in someone's presence, but also in whether he can be basically cautious and independent when no one is paying attention.
For example, in a street, there is no one around, only yourself. You want to vomit, but the trash can is far away from you. Will you throw up on the ground or walk over?
The more excellent people are, the more strict they can be with themselves, because they also cultivate their own minds.
Many children's behavior will directly reflect their parents' upbringing. In kindergarten, some children often take other people's toys for themselves without others' consent, or even take care of their own toys. These selfish behaviors all show that parents have made mistakes in educating their children, or that parents are such greedy people.
Excellent people will not consume the pain of others, let alone speak ill of others. Seeing others' embarrassment, some people will laugh at them and say some ugly words to make them more embarrassed, while others will give them a hand or remind them to show their education.
I have also seen such a news that when a middle-aged man changed trains in the waiting room, he probably fell asleep because he was too tired. He occupied three seats by himself and even took off his shoes. This is a blatant attempt to make the waiting room his home! He turned a deaf ear to people coming and going, didn't care whether his posture was elegant or not, and also released gas bombs to pollute the environment.
I remember at the end of the story, a young man who couldn't look past put middle-aged shoes on his face.
Although the behavior of young men is inappropriate, middle-aged men deserve it. After all, people who don't care about the wishes of others don't deserve respect.
And truly excellent people, no matter where they sit, will sit gracefully and dignified. Have you ever seen any social elite shake their legs in public? To put it another way, just from his sitting posture and walking posture, you can see what kind of person he is.
Of course, excellent people don't just give in to others, they all know how to raise objections at the right time.
What does a person's education have to do with? Money? Social status? Work? Or?
In fact, it must be admitted that it has something to do with all this, and its essence is actually the education received from childhood. Whether it is family education, school education or social education, or even the people you have been in contact with since childhood, it has a decisive influence on a person's education.
Similarly, starting from the contact environment, through communicating with people, reading and thinking, we can shape our inner cultivation and external image.
If you really don't know how to do it, you might as well find a social elite who is similar to yourself as an example.
Teaching is a long road, but example is a shortcut. We need at least one excellent person as an example, because an example can bring us endless positive energy. Being with excellent people will get better and better, but being with people who don't make progress will only stop.
Try to follow the footsteps of the example and firmly believe in the power of the example, at least on the way forward in life.
But at any time, don't give up the ability to reflect. Take others as a mirror and you can know the gains and losses. People with high emotional intelligence can judge whether their virtue is appropriate from each other's words and deeds. When they get along with excellent people, they can give people a comfortable feeling.
In physiognomy, a person's face will change with experience. Perhaps before entering the society, we still need to be attached to the family and school, lacking the ability to think and execute independently. After entering the society, our life really begins, because we can become whoever we want to be with our own will and efforts the day after tomorrow.
Whether it is reading, thinking, practicing, or balancing appearance and heart, it depends on ourselves.