One, when you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's robe.
Second, I am a human being, you are a dog, how can you walk with me.
Third, how to say the dialog, the expression is not sad. How to write the story, the ending will not be lonely. What do we have to do so that love will be happy.
Fourth, some people have passed, you can not forget her does not mean that you still love her, just cherish or miss the beauty of the time.
Fifth, people with love, every day is the festival. A sentence of warmth and cold, a line of noise; a word of advice, a note to each other; a love, a heart to look forward to; a love, a lifetime of love.
Seven, the most sad is not tears out, but tears in the eye socket circle.
VIII. Every person needs someone to talk to him openly and honestly. Though a man can be very valiant, he can also be very lonely.
Nine, it is best not to miss two things, the last bus home and a person who loves you y.
X. Challenging life is my choice without regret, and winning the college entrance examination is my unremitting pursuit.
XI, efforts, live some wonderful, more wonderful! Try to be a person who makes people not want you. Without you, ta sky has lost the most dazzling stars, and even the sun. Of course, you do not live for others, come to this world, you have the responsibility to do the most beautiful, the best self.
XII, lonely, because, you in order to wait for a person, and forget all the people waiting for you ...
XIII, a sentence of sorry to have the story without you.
Fourteen, parting and reunion, is the life of non-stop play, accustomed to, and no longer pathos.
XV, tired, squatting down to hug themselves, still stubborn, said, but also so.
XVI, that can make me weep, let me use my life to exchange the smile.
XVII, some people can not say where good, but is who can not be replaced!
xviii Atrulyhappypersonisonewhocanenjoythescenerywhileonadetour.----- A truly happy person is the kind of person who doesn't forget to enjoy the scenery while taking a detour.
nineteen, spread out the palm of the sky, the palm of the sun, that is I want you to smile; palm of the raindrops, that is I miss your occasional drops of tears ......
twentieth, familiar songs long not sing forgotten, familiar people do not contact also become strangers.
Twenty-one, some people meet too early, some people meet too late. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night.
Twenty-two, you when I am a kite, or not to let me loose, or collect good to take home, do not use an invisible love tethered to me, so that I heartbreak.
Twenty-three, please care with love, comfort yourself; with happy and comfortable, amuse yourself; with careful and warm, love yourself, as long as you love and care for yourself in order to better love your family, I wish you health, peace and happiness!
Twenty-four, the most important thing is the peace of mind and calm, why bother with yourself. What we can do is to face, accept, deal with, put down, adjust their hearts, with kindness, love infected life, infected life. The most difficult time, that is, we are not far from the success of the time.
Twenty-five, three years of hard work, happy life.
Twenty-six, thinking of a person's flavor is like drinking a large glass of ice water, and then with a long, long time flow into hot tears.
Twenty-seven, don't be lazier than me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.
Twenty-eight, you like me when I do not like you, you fell in love with me when I began to like you, you left me when I fell in love with you.
Twenty-nine, forced to be in the crowd, is often the most important time to keep themselves alone.
Thirty, a person can fall in love with a lot of people in his life, and so you get really belong to your happiness, you will understand together with the pain is actually a kind of wealth, it allows you to learn to better grasp and cherish the people you love.
30 strange funny quotes _ laugh sprayed1 , I bitter courier, today there is a pen courier name: grandfather.
This is not to LZ a call over to ask ask you are: grandfather. Obviously take advantage of LZ. I'm not stupid.
The caller asked what is the name of your courier?
He said: "Grandpa". By the way... There is your delivery.
2, goddess: call me a queen. The loser: the female bastard.
Goddess: pig ah you? Just two words. Dick: Bastard!
3, I male, blind date, invited the girl to eat KFC, *** 45 yuan, I took out a 100 yuan to the cashier,
The girl said I have change today my treat!
The cashier took the 50 she handed over, but she took my 100 dollars back and stuffed it into her bag.
The cashier and I were both shocked at the same time and didn't know what to do.
4, afternoon my father scolded me.... Later, agitated also slapped me in the face, then wanted to ease the atmosphere,
I wanted to say dad you hungry, I'll get you something to eat it,
A moment of mouth quickly said that you did not eat it
Then I was again a solid slap
5 , the father took his son to buy cold medicines, because it is an acquaintance, the boss of the drugstore asked how will the cold!
5 、 Father took his son to buy cold medicine, because he is an acquaintance, the pharmacy owner asked, how can cold?
The father said: This is the boy, kicking the quilt at night.
I didn't expect the son to retort that it was not me. It is you who make the quilt arch and arch to make me cold.
6, just at the intersection to see a man to his girlfriend taxi, before leaving the man said rest assured that the license plate I wrote down!
The driver was furious: grass, you TM in insulting my taste?
7 , and his girlfriend to eat hot pot, I pointed to the pot and said: look, this hot pot is better than the two of us!
She nodded: Well, I'm as hot as a spicy pot, you're as bland as a clear soup pot!
I shook my head: no, I am this spicy, you are that spicy next door.
This is a break-up dinner!
8, the office of a sister paper just after the phone and male breakup,
then shouted: I want to be the Queen, I want to three palaces, six houses, seventy-two male consorts.
The corner of a colleague quietly floated to a sentence: that's not the Queen, that's the female superiority!
The whole office burst into laughter.
9, the weather is cold, go to the bathhouse bath, found more than ten years have not met the junior high school teacher, he also down checkout,
I want to give him checkout he died did not agree to, and casually threw the 100 dollars over the past said checkout,
beautiful saleswoman said: Mr., money is not enough, your spending is 15, his consumption is 313,
I was drunk, and the teacher is also missing, but I did not see him. I also drunk, turned my head and found that the teacher is also gone
10 , today mom took me to phase two girls, a first-class body, unfortunately, looks too much effort, there are buck teeth,
A smile I can not stand it; another face is absolutely first-class, goddess level, but unfortunately a fat girl,
After coming back to the I've been thinking in the end to choose which one, which is the big thing of ah life.
Absolutely can not make a decision, in order to this I tangled a night without sleep,
The next morning mom came back to buy food and I said, the two did not look at you
11 , with the second goods friends to eat together, he has just been a father, and I have to hide:
My son, ah, looks exactly the same as mine.
[laughable jokes I was about to reply, ordering aunt with sympathetic eyes looked at him:
children, ugly, it does not matter, healthy and lively on the good.
12, there is a favorite girl to her confession to be dry, directly pushed to the wall bully said: I will raise you later.
After saying that you have to kiss, do not give her the opportunity to refuse and think.
I just rely on this trick, has been into the police station several times.
13, junior high school, to help his buddies to the next class of girls to send a letter, the girl received, do not even look at it thrown into the garbage.
I quickly explained that I did not write, the girl picked up the letter.
14, today, after the exam, students A out of the classroom, B students asked her: test how?
A students said: so easy. B students listened and said, really fake.
A student burst a foul language: hemp, where not where the test.
15 , the company's anniversary, enrollment of all kinds of said will roast whole sheep, will be wrapped dumplings, a brother weakly said,
I will only be cooked rice, instant group quiet.
16 , a buddy to go to work in the morning, did not have time to eat breakfast, bought a roasted melon.
No seat on the car, the hand put the melon into the fart pocket.
When I caught the empty seat, I quickly stepped forward and sat on the seat.
At that moment, there was a soft muffled sound, and a large spread of brownish yellow groundnut flesh squeezed out from under his buttocks,
but also a slight heat
17 、Cao Cao brought his son Cao Chong to visit Liu Bei.
Cao Cao went to the door and shouted, "Cao Cao is here with his young son!
Liu Bei: Aiya. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it. Still bring what fruit well
18 , noon to eat in the newly opened cafeteria, the usual pre-dinner hand washing, unscrewing the tap results in no water.
Cafeteria mom said: we here the sound of the faucet! I: high-tech ah!
Then I clap, still no water, ah! Ah! Called twice, still no water.
Only to see the big mom turned her head to the inside operating room shouted to open the water valve!
19, dare to ask what kind of woman is a real woman. God reply: not inflatable.
20, the recruits out of training, a recruit saw the roadside a uniformed shoulder six stars,
The heart of a shock six stars ah snap a standing military salute, in order to show respect.
The platoon leader ran over is a big slap in the face, to the fart salute that is the property security
21 , yesterday and friends chat, she said she went to the cinema to see the youth.
See Ruan Guan ran to see Zhao Shiyong and then was hit by a car, the movie theater inside the moment is very quiet,
Only to hear the front of a couple, the man said to the woman: see?
This is to find the end of the ex-boyfriend!
22 , when I was a child, I once went to the field to pick up rice, saw the neighbors a kid in the field to bury things,
I'll hide, wait for him to go and run over to see what he buried,
Nima, digging a handful of sh*t, your grandpa's, pulling a sh*t you bury your grandpa ah!
23, smart mom will first teach the child first learn to call his father, this time you will feel very happy ruthless love,
But the winter experience is more profound, the child woke up in the middle of the night straight call dad,
Then his mother kicked you said, the child called you ni
24, always thought I was still good-looking, and not ugly to where,
Until today on the bus, I thought it was a good thing to see the child's father, and then I thought it was a good idea to see his father. p> Until today on the bus next to me an empty seat,
Past more than ten girls are not willing to sit next to me, I heart a snow bright.
25 , when the university. I was shopping with my girlfriend when she wanted to buy a huge stuffed bear!
I smacked no practical value is also expensive! I did not buy.
As a result, the next day a thin man with a plush bear in front of the school waiting for her!
She happily showed me that: you do not give me to buy someone to buy.
She said, "If you don't buy it for me, someone else will!
From then on, I tried to buy whatever she wanted!
But if you don't buy the next day, the man must be holding something in front of the school!
Until today I went to my girlfriend's house and realized!
This is the first time I've ever seen a man with the same name!
26, the so-called finger for marriage is
pointing to the girlfriend's stomach to Mom and Dad said: Dad, Mom, we're going to get married
27, ran into a friend on the street today, saw a blood mark on his neck,
surprised to ask: what's the matter, let who hit?
The friend said with tears and laughter: or you say right, fake gold necklace can not buy ah!
The quality of the girl is too good, I rode on the street, let the thief robbed, tmd,
Tug half a day did not drag away, almost did not strangle me to death.
28 , the original I do not have money, every time I go to eat hot pot, ordering food in the heart of how much money has been spent,
Now I finally have money, and then go to eat hot pot,
will not have to be so troublesome: I directly use the calculator on the phone.
29, a friend looking for me to borrow money, I said that this good to say, ten dollars I do,
ten dollars or more have to find my wife to discuss.
He said you do not have a wife? I said so there is no discussion. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
30 , I have a small hair, 149cm, today in the space published dynamic, said: cell phone fell, fortunately not broken.
The following a buddy commented: your height saved it
Classic funny quotes 30 _ laugh sprayed1, the package adults and show Zhao went to Africa to play, encountered a group of black-faced cannibals, cannibals not only do not eat two people, but also with the package adults while shaking hands, and bring the human flesh to the package adults to eat. Pao adults do not understand, Zhan Zhao said: adults, cannibals take you as their distant relatives.
2, my friend said to drive me home, get on the car habitually lit a cigarette, my friend pinched off my cigarette, came to say: don't smoke in the car, there will be smoke. I fucking slap him down, the battery car has your sister's smoke flavor.
3, brother sitting on the subway, sitting next to a strange mom. Cell phone rings, the mom answered the phone, very brightly to the phone said: ah, I'm not free tonight, the car is broken in the subway, looking for a duck is very handsome, ready to go to the open room! The crowded car instantly quiet. I glanced at the big mom next to me, and when I turned my face back, I found that the whole car was staring at myself.
4, four years of roommates, only ate her to the five of us divided into a petal of orange, did not see the error, really is a petal of orange. Snacks are never to get their own bed to eat, eat and then get out of bed. Each person in the dormitory charges two dollars for electricity, the roommate said we used her electricity, should not let her pay and to give her money! More importantly... I saw on her camera one time that her family had five Audis! Five cars! Home with cameras!
5, I eat heavy taste, like more salt. One day, my roommate asked me: what does Pin mean? I'm too lazy to pay attention to him (he likes to ask some strange questions), said casually: is the meaning of eating. My roommate nodded his head as he thought about it, and he looked as if it was so. A few days later, my girlfriend came to the dormitory to talk to me, and my roommate was lying on the bed reading a book. When I talked to my girlfriend about taste, she asked me: How is your taste? Girlfriend words just finished, the roommate will throw down the book, sat up and grabbed the answer: he has always been heavy taste. I immediately face green.
6, coach: relax, no need to be nervous. Well, I'm not nervous, my friend said the test when the coach next to the dog on the line.
7, the doctor: how can not find my pen? I want to give you a prescription. The patient reminded in a whisper: doctor, you did not put it in my armpit!
8, graduated for many years, today's Teacher's Day, the teacher I miss you, you worked hard. You teach me the knowledge I have returned to you, you see when the tuition back to me, I'm good to buy an iphone6s!
9, the two mouths go to buy clothes, the wife hesitated between a thick and a thin clothes, do not know which one is good, and asked her husband: you said to buy which one is good? Husband said: if you will wash the clothes, buy the thick one. Wife laughed and told the boss: wrap this thin one for me.
10, the night and friends after drinking, I own taxi home, just on the cab, the driver asked me: young man, are you drinking? I was a little surprised: Yo! Master you this nose enough spirit, have smelled the smell of alcohol on my body? The driver said: smell your sister ah! You come down from the top of my car first!
11, wife: you just focus on watching TV, and even the faucet is broken do not care, the water is fast to the home drowned, you quickly look at it. Husband: see what ah? In which channel?
12, out to meet the beggar looking for me to ask for money, said a few days without food, I just put the change to buy buns, see his poor points 2 to him, Nima, he even said that I sent to the beggar ah is he not a beggar?
13, today a buddy cut a ball head, and he joked: brother just out of prison it! He looked at me and said: you want to force me to go to jail again? Then I was silent.
14, a female sister has to have one hundred and forty pounds, every night with the ladies dancing square dance action all kinds of retarded yesterday pulled me to watch, and then asked me to dance looks how? I said: I think you dance looks like a little swan she said: really well! It seems that I have lost weight ah I then said: is a small swan brand drum washing machine
15, I simply can not think of what to send a gift to his wife to congratulate her on her birthday, this gift can not be too expensive, but also to make her happy. Write her an anonymous love letter.
16, I was lying in the hospital bed, asked the nurse: love is no more, no more affection, no more friendship, no more health, no more money, I am not nothing? The nurse quickly and gently said: how can you say so yourself? You are not still sick.
17, operating a fashion store Mrs. Shana recently very troubled, because the left side of the florist began to turn to the business of fashion, not only store than their own large, and the competitors also played an angry sign here the most cost-effective trade! . A wave is not calm, a wave again, Mrs. Shana's heart of a mouth has not been eliminated clean, fashion store on the right side of the florist also began to do business in fashion, and also played a in Mrs. Shana seems to be a very eye-catching slogan here the cheapest price! Thinking hard for several days, eat bad sleep, Mrs. Shana finally came up with a countermeasure in their own fashion store directly above the door hung a large sign entrance.
18, remember once with a female colleague drinking party, drink female colleague also drunk said I want to let me sleep with her at night, I listened to a slap in the past, to leave her alone, I think she must want to take advantage of the time I fell asleep to steal two hundred dollars in my pocket, I really did not think she is this kind of person, I yuck!
19, some time ago, the unit physical examination, a colleague long fat blood vessels are not obvious, the doctor tied a number of needles did not draw blood, helplessly said comrades, you really ~ ~ en, you really strong, colleagues are very real, doctor, I'm not strong, I'm fat
20, one day I saw a buddy and said to him: Buddy, your jeans are broken out still wear out? Buddy said: now popular this, you know a line ball. I looked at his exposed chrysanthemums, thought city people really play
21, one day, the old lady and his partner to watch TV. After a commercial was broadcasting a beauty contest. The old man took a look and blushed, got up and went inside. The old lady laughed: this old man is quite feudal. A moment, the old man came back, sitting upright in front of the TV, just, set a pair of glasses wife's nagging wife: your ear Mo Yan is when good? Husband: on the day your throat began to inflame
22, yesterday morning at three o'clock, LZ home from work, the road met a wonderful woman lying on the ground, and also wear a special exposed, a look know is a nightclub work, and also drunk, I think I have the opportunity to go up to help a hand, leaning on the beautiful woman turned his head and spit me all over. I've been thinking, is she drunk or look at my looks spit.
23, wife: just now in the old Zhang's house, you even drank five cups of tea, you did not say that a drink of tea at night can not sleep? Husband: But, in the face of can drink white fragrant tea not drink, go home I can not sleep more.
24, I came out of the hospital, downcast. Suddenly, a fortune-teller stopped me: Mr., do you want to tell your fortune? I'm in a bad mood, roared: you count a bird ah, this master with you count! The fortune teller only smiled faintly and pinched his fingers, saying: yes, I count your bird, hey, something is wrong with your bird, right? I instantly worshipped: Master, how do you know? Master laughed: the so-called outside strong, outside strong, inside naturally weak. I asked: Master, what should I do to get rid of my troubles? Master said: You need to be softer on the outside, like a pseudo-maiden! I also asked: like a pseudo-maiden I can get hard? Master said: of course not ah! But when the pseudo-maiden into a little sufferer, hard can not get up can also live a happy ah, then will not worry about it! I:
25, A: my boyfriend has everything, have a car, have a room, have savings. B: sighed: my boyfriend also have everything, have a bike, have a rental, have a loan. C: a long sigh: my boyfriend is really everything, even his wife has.
26, men and women like to go to the park together on weekends. One day, and friends blind turn hoo, tired of sitting on a bench and chatting. Suddenly, my friend pointed in a direction and said: Look, what is going on over there? Everyone looked in that direction, and it turned out to be a couple hugging and kissing. So, one of the friends got upset, in broad daylight and in public, they were making out like that, it's so uncharacteristic! I'm going to go over and say something to him. So suddenly everyone starts talking about what they can say in the past to separate them very gracefully. #$^#%#@ (A burst of lip service!) At this point, I popped up and said: go over there and tell them: add a mouth, okay? There was a lot of wild laughter.
27, two friends recently bought a new fish tank, and then a variety of friends circle show him to buy fish. A few days ago, suddenly no movement, call him and ask him, he told me that: the day is cold, for fear that the fish will freeze to death, bought a hot, want to add heat to the water, the results fell asleep, woke up and found that the fish are cooked.
28, a buddy is a car rental company, one day at noon to his company idle turn, I asked him: every day to rent a car to others, have encountered strange guests? The goods looked at the yard, said: that person early in the morning to rent a car, and now not pour out.
29, yesterday, I drank a female colleague with some wine, female colleagues and I said drink very happy, would like to lean on my shoulder to sleep, said while leaning over the old man on the spot on the spot, a slap fan over said: Damn, said the big drink three boxes, if who first fell who pay the bill, which reversed want to eat ah, to the old man to get out of calf
30, this morning, my girlfriend pampered me: Dear, people's Apple 6 accidentally fell to the ground bad, you see don't worry I pulled out a Nokia from my pocket and said, has been ready for you, this is not afraid of falling.
Unparalleled beautiful sentences1, love fire, or should not be rekindled. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money from the government. If we did not reunite, perhaps I will live with his deep thoughts until the physical decay; however, this moment, I hate him. All the good days are far gone.
2, just love, more like an encounter with a scene, the beautiful pale gesture.
3, love, need tolerance, but not indulgence. So, once you find a man change of heart to let go, if there is that temperament can also be broom sweeping, sweeping their own door, sincerely please him, forever - no longer visit.
4. However, the thoughts are as cold as snow. If the sun shines in the morning, you and I still have nothing in hand, please do not despair, for me to cherish. Even if, when you say goodbye to love, I hope you are all right; I no longer love you when, perhaps not I do not love you, just, I can no longer love you.
5, that grows in the river color pale green reeds, into this time under the eyes of the green grass; that crystal bleak white frost, for me to look at you when the eyes of the flow of goblet; that depression in the cold autumn wind, blowing wrinkled is no longer the Autumn River, but now the smoke and flowers in March of the blue wave flow.
6, love a person, if there is no courage to seek, like no wings can not fly across the sea. Unless you are willing to let you go, it's better to go to Marty.
7, a split second of the light, in exchange for half a lifetime of bleak loneliness; life can not fill the hole, just a wrong hand. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a long journey, and it was a long time ago that I was in the middle of a long journey, and I was in the middle of a long journey. Love itself is not divided into right and wrong, so it can also be wrong.
8, the sun is broken like the petals of my hand, the petals are silent.
9, if I had known, when we first met, I would have said - easy to find priceless treasures, it is difficult to get a man with a heart. I don't know if I can avoid the arrangement of fate.
10, red dust, many people encountered, scattered, misunderstood, missed, so, to the old is still bare hearted nostalgia, not everyone can have.
11, when we can not turn back, we can only continue to go forward.
12, finally can be temporarily stationed, we are the survivors of that group of dead people. Should feel grateful, but I'm left with only thoughts and sorrow for you. They are as vast as the river, and I am powerless to sink into it.
13, the last star finally disappeared in the sky. When I look up at the sky, I think of you for the last time tonight. Daybreak, and will start, I do not know, tomorrow night at this moment, I still have no life to sit here thinking about you far away.
14, you ten thousand years, exaggerated; love you five thousand years, hopeless; love you a thousand years, ridiculous; love you a hundred years, too long; successive love you fifty years, as long as I am healthy, this is my strong point!
15, love is the heart's yearning, is the feeling of ****ing, is the collision of inspiration, is the flash of electricity, is the sweet agar, is the intoxicating pure wine.
16, before meeting you, the world is a wilderness, after meeting you, the world is a paradise, the past many years, like a wisp of light smoke to me, the future of the infinite career, because you are happy and boundless.
17, forgive me for telling your cell phone number to a stranger, his name is Cupid, he wants to help me tell you: my heart like you, my heart cares about you, my heart waiting for you.
18, love from the beginning of hope, but also by the end of despair. I'm not sure if you've ever had a problem, but I'm not sure if you've ever had a problem, and I'm not sure if you've ever had a problem.
19, fell in love with you, I realize the taste of longing, separation of sorrow and jealousy of suffering, and that endless possessiveness. Why does your every move make my heart flutter? Why am I always afraid that time flies and I can't be with you for the rest of my life?
20, no matter how bitter the road with you, dry your eyes and tell yourself that you are not allowed to cry, I call your name over and over again, in the sleep, in the drunken time.
21, don't think of you, don't love you, let time fly quietly, erase the memories of the two of us, for your name, from now on no longer remember.
22, if every thought I have about you is turned into a flower, then my surroundings will always be a garden full of flowers.
23, there is no lover in my Valentine's Day, only my wife, she is my favorite, today is, tomorrow is, until I die my heart is only her! Really love you!
24, my love for you as the river flows unceasingly, such as the Yellow River flooding a hair unmanageable, and then as the sunset splendor. I think you love you, I can't live without you, I must get you!
25, I can not guarantee, can not promise you anything, but I will do: if one day you have the feeling of hunger, then you will see, I have smiled and starved to death in your arms.
26, I envy the sun, he can see your bright smile, I envy the moon, she can watch you sleep peacefully, I envy myself, at least can always miss you.
27, like to see you asleep, because then you will not have trouble. I like the way you smile at me, because then you are the happiest. I just want you to be happy.
28, I want to send you roses, but the price is too expensive, I want to give you comfort, but I have not learned, I want to give you kneeling, but the ring is still in the safe, I can only send a text message to chase you, I hope we never blow.
29, sentient beings, every day is the festival. A sentence of warmth and cold, a line of noise; a word of advice, a note to each other; a love, a heart to look forward to; a love, a lifetime of love.
30, there is a tacit understanding called unspoken; there is a feeling called unspeakable; there is a kind of happiness is called with you; there is a kind of thinking is called looking forward to. I wish every shooting star in the sky would shine in the sky for you.
31, the sound of the cello is like a river, the left bank is I can not forget the memories, the right bank is I deserve to hold on to the bright years, the middle of the flow, is my years and years of faint sentimental!
32, feelings have been in arrears, love has been suspended, promises are empty, trust has been shut down, care can not be connected, good not in the service area, all suspended, life is completely dead!
33, the end is not the answer we want, love you well is my biggest wish, you are my only!
34, away from the end of the departure, even if it is very close to very close; dependent on each other will always be dependent on each other, even if the heart of the road for miles and miles.
35. Most of the time in life, commitment is synonymous with bondage, but we aspire to bondage.
36, if we are destined to pass by in this life, then I y bless you forever happy. Then put away all the points of affection, looking forward to meeting you in the next life.