What would be different about treating your mother-in-law like a regular friend?
What would be different about treating your mother-in-law as a regular friend? Interaction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is ultimately the content of this endless course, good interaction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law associated with the key elements of a successful family marriage, then how to solve the interaction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law challenges? The following follow me to see the mother-in-law as a common friend, what will be different?
Take the mother-in-law as a common friend, what will be different?1
01
After marriage, the mother-in-law as a mother-in-law to treat the woman, really can be with the mother-in-law between the mother-in-law as close as mother-daughter mother-daughter relationship?
Christina He has been married to her husband Zhou Hai for 10 years, and from the time she got married, she started living with her mother-in-law and has never been separated.
At first, Christina thought that since she called her mother-in-law "Mom", she should treat her as her own mother.
But gradually she realized that when she treats her mother-in-law the way she treats her own mother, she not only doesn't like it, but is a bit disgusted by it. This is why He Xiang is very hurt.
Sometimes she does not want to cook, want to go out with her husband to eat a good meal, but come back to be a mother-in-law accused, said they are in the blind bad money; sometimes she got together with coworkers to drink a few cups, and then came home to her mother-in-law a downfall, said she was covered in alcohol smell, smelled her nausea unbearable ......
The conflict between them is like the rain in the rainy season, how can it not end. For this reason, He Xiang and her husband put forward the idea of going out to live, but her husband said: "That's my mom, you can't tolerate a little more? Besides, don't you want to spend money to go out and live?"
As they live together for a longer period of time, the conflicts between them accumulate more and more.
02
After all, your mother-in-law is not your mother, she has her own habits, and she won't be able to tolerate all your faults like your own mother.
Until one time, her mother-in-law took the liberty of throwing away the new pajamas she had bought, she finally couldn't help but lash out at her mother-in-law: "Why are you throwing away my things?"
Her mother-in-law, while cleaning, said carelessly, "Your pajamas are so thin, I'm not used to seeing them."
He Xiang was so angry that she was shaking, she ran into the room in a huff and yelled at her husband, "I really can't take it anymore, I'm giving you two choices now, one is that we move out and live together, the other is that we get a divorce!"
This decade, Zhou Hai was also their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict tossed enough, but on the one hand is the wife, on the other hand is his own mother, he is not good to say something.
And this time, in the face of his wife's firm attitude, he finally made up his mind to move out with her.
He said to his mother, "Mom, I also want to live together as a family, but it's clear that this path will not work. As you can see, if this continues, your son and I may really be alone. Therefore, we have decided to move out, so that you can also live a few days of purity.
In the future, we will give you a few thousand dollars a month for living expenses, and we will take the time to come and visit you every week. Do you think it's okay?"
The mother looked at her son, who was frowning, and although she was very reluctant in her heart, she finally accepted the matter for the sake of her son to be well.
03
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can not only be a booster of marriage, but also a moth that corrodes marriage.
After living apart for a while, the mother-in-law slowly began to have her own friends, she would sometimes invite friends to the house to chat and drink tea, and sometimes go downstairs with friends to square dance, the days are getting happier and happier.
Without the interference of her mother-in-law, He Xiang and Zhou Hai finally got their wish to live a happy life as a family of three, and when their children are not at home, they can still enjoy the rare world of two people.
It is said that distance produces beauty, and this saying applies to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as well. Ever since she separated from her mother-in-law, Christina has rarely thought of her, whether she was good or bad.
Except for the time when she visits her mother-in-law with her husband, she occasionally treats her as an "ordinary friend" and goes over to talk to her or buy her some of her favorite things.
When talking to her mother-in-law, Christina has also learned to keep a deliberate distance.
As a result, her mother-in-law's attitude towards her has slowly begun to improve, and sometimes she even praises her son for his filial piety.
Slowly, Christina realized that after treating her mother-in-law as an "ordinary friend", the 10-year marriage between her and her husband slowly began to recover to its former vitality.
04
When it comes to our mothers, we are spontaneous and natural. But we can't be too spontaneous when it comes to our mothers-in-law.
Even between a mother and her children, there are some conflicts and frictions. So it is a very normal thing to have a conflict between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law.
There is no doubt that mothers love their children, but because of habits and other aspects of life, so when the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live under the same roof, it is easy to have conflicts.
And the most effective way to avoid this is to live separately and keep a distance.
Although the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is only a small part of the married life of a man and a woman, but if you can't handle this relationship correctly, it is very likely to be a fuse that leads to the breakup of the couple's marriage.
As a mother-in-law, you have to learn to let go of your hand and face the rest of your life with a relaxed mindset. After a lifetime of working for your family, you need to learn to enjoy life and the good times of the moment.
Living separately not only gives you more time to enjoy life, but also gives young people the opportunity to face life alone, thus allowing them to become more independent.
As a daughter-in-law, you should also learn to treat your mother-in-law with the attitude of a "common friend". After all, the mother-in-law is not a mother, only the heart management, deliberately keep the distance in a not far not close to the degree, in order to harvest unexpected surprises.
Treat your mother-in-law as an ordinary friend, what will be different?2
Interaction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is ultimately the content of this endless course of study, good interaction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law associated with the key elements of a successful family marriage, then how to solve the interaction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problem?
Favorable homely words
To make the interaction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more harmonious a lot, understand the serious operation of the must know, the mother-in-law I think the most favorite is to say that the favor of the homely words, "you're too good to buy," "you wear that dress pants are very suitable! ", "you do this home cooking is too delicious" I think one or two easy words can make the mother-in-law happy, the old man originally must be coaxed, plus usually in the food, clothing, housing and transportation of the key points more praise her, then between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can not be transformed. Because people love to listen to good words, love a piece of interaction, the heart will become more and more comfortable and happy a lot.
The same age to find a breakthrough point
Many parents today are more traditional and persistent, in the mother-in-law clothing, food, housing and transportation, to make the mother-in-law family are happy, I think it can be from the same age side to find a breakthrough point, because they have each other's language, certain lifestyles, but also conducive to a stronger communication exchange. Therefore to take the elderly, if you take this kind of great aunt children, get the elderly is basically easy.
Do not have to yell at your husband
Mother and daughter will have some deep emotions in the middle, if you live in the home of my mother-in-law at that time, you can not be in the face of all the mother-in-law yell at her husband. The housewife will feel that marrying a wife at the door is not for yelling at her husband, the eldest son can't be the master of the house, but was yelled at by a girl, who is not prone to dissatisfaction? If it is to go out of your vision, no matter how you shout, but not with the favorite, if you do not allow her to see on the line.
Let your mother-in-law understand that you love him
There is also a point that is to say, to let your mother-in-law understand, but also to let your mother-in-law understand that you and your boyfriend love your mother-in-law the same way, reflecting your love for your husband in front of your mother-in-law's eyes. If you buy shoes for your husband that time, but also remember to buy this for your mother-in-law, firmly believe that she immediately smiled knot seed, but also in some very traditional festivals, send certain small gifts are to make her very happy, double the effect of half the actual effect, to improve you have been in the eyes of your mother-in-law's influence and favorite, but also can be shocked at home in the family's harmony.