Remember Yu Xiuhua?
It is the poet who has published a collection of poems "moonlight falls on the left hand", the classic lines are: "If I send you a book, I will not send you poetry, I want to give you a book about plants, about the crops, to tell you the difference between rice and tares, to tell you a tares to worry about the spring."
Because of the lack of oxygen at birth, resulting in cerebral palsy, mobility, Yu Xiu-hua debut, has been labeled "cerebral palsy poet" "peasant poet" "grassroots poets" and so on.
And her marital experience is even more sympathetic.
Yu Xiu-hua dropped out of high school and was forced by her family to marry a man with no emotional foundation.
Her husband, a homeless man from Sichuan, was 13 years older than her, unemployed and uneducated, with a violent temper that made him slam her head against the wall when he was angry.
He not only didn't love her, he didn't even have basic sympathy.
In her husband's eyes, Yu Xiu-hua was ridiculous for spending her days hammering out words and writing poems.
He made up about his wife outside like a scoundrel, mimicked her incoordination caused by her illness, and even threatened, "You have to spend 500 dollars to climb into Yu Xiu-hua's bed."
Yu Xiu-hua loathed the marriage but had to accept her fate.
Fortunately, she persisted in writing and gradually gained a bit of fame by virtue of her words that struck straight to the heart.
She finally had the courage to ask her husband for a divorce.
When her husband heard the news, he immediately asked for a million dollars in "moral damages".
Yu Xiu-hua, knowing his character, deliberately told him: "If you come back this month, 150,000 yuan. Come back next month, 100,000 yuan. You do whatever you want."
The husband did come back to divorce, and took 150,000 yuan to buy a house.
Originally, Yu Xiu-hua was finally out of her misery and should be blessed.
Unexpectedly, some ill-intentioned people began to use sour words, satirizing Yu Xiu-hua ungrateful, once the popularity of kicked off the same sweet **** bitter husband.
Such arguments gradually spread all over the Internet, and a few random interceptions are:
"Her ex-husband is a completely good person, who is mute and not good at talking."
"That honest man, even with all his faults, has taken care of her for decades, without credit, but also with hard work."
"A husband and wife for a day, Yu Xiu-hua after the fame and fortune, but ruthlessly threw him out of the house."
The ex-husband's workmate, in a documentary, also spoke to the camera: "Ask her: what kind of person you used to be, people are willing to marry you, you are disabled, sympathize with you, and now you're famous, oh, you don't want me in turn?"
Fortunately, Yu Xiu-hua is a poet and knows a few lines of beautiful Chinese.
Later, she finally couldn't help but dislike her on Weibo: "Only you know if the marriage is suitable, your broken mouth was destroyed by fire, right? Since you care about my ex-husband, have the guts to marry him!"
This "marriage proposal" response immediately attracted countless people's praise. --Worthy of being a poet, even dislikes can hit the nail on the head!
As the saying goes, "If you don't know my pain, don't advise me to be generous."
But in real life, there are always people who stand on the moral high ground and ask you to be a saintly mother when there is something wrong.
A netizen said that some time ago, she rushed home at night and met a man who had drunk too much.
The man took advantage of his drunkenness and made a move on her. Luckily, she ran fast and there was a surveillance camera around, which captured the scene, and the man was quickly caught.
Then the man started crying and begging for forgiveness, and came up with a sum of money, wanting to settle.
She refused to take the money and insisted on suing the man.
This was overheard by one of her coworkers. The coworker said, "We have to forgive people and forgive people, not just touched you twice, and there is no loss. They paid you so much money, you still don't know what to do?"
There is also a netizen with a similar experience, who was angry with his mother-in-law when he was young and vowed never to take care of her.
So when her mother-in-law grew old, she was forced to rely on her husband's money and efforts, and she never interfered with her mother-in-law's care.
My mother-in-law is in bed, and my husband is too busy to do anything about it, but she's still out there dancing.
A relative couldn't stand it and said, "How can you be so vindictive? Your mother-in-law is at least an elder, look at her paralyzed in bed, how pitiful."
......
For people like the above, we should really be like Yu Xiuhua and boldly ask a rhetorical question:
"Since you think it's okay, how about giving all the money and letting the alcoholic touch you?"
"Since you care so much about my mother-in-law, why don't you take her home and let her enjoy her life?"
Guo Degang said something like, "The person who doesn't understand any situation and advises you that you must be generous, you have to stay away from him. Because when lightning strikes him it will involve you."
Don't advise people to be generous without understanding their suffering, or you will really be struck by lightning.
A few years ago, Zhou Libo hosted a program, and a girl came to compete, and her sister was there to cheer her on.
The sister, who was abandoned by her parents when she was a child, had just been recognized by her sister.
What she doesn't know is that her sister has secretly colluded with the show's organizers to bring in her biological parents, wanting to put on a big show of recognition.
However, her sister refused to recognize her and questioned her parents, "Why haven't you come to see me in 20 years when you obviously live in the same town?
Then Zhou Libo stepped forward and accused the sister of being narrow-minded, not knowing how to think differently and not sympathizing with her parents' difficulties.
He said, "You should learn to forgive, otherwise you can never be happy."
After the program was aired, it caused widespread controversy, and Zhou Libo's image as a famous talker, also instantly fell off the altar.
This is a typical case of "persuading a man to be generous is struck by lightning".
Don't try to persuade people to be generous.
Not to mention that "do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you", even if it is the same thing that happens to different people, the feeling is not the same.
That's why there is a saying that "you know what you're getting into".
Everyone's feelings are unique to her, so she is the only one who has the right to decide what she wants to do.
Just as the poet Yu Xiuhua said:
"A person, whether a man or a woman, as long as he can live according to his own will, is the victory ."
The only thing we can do is to applaud everyone's victory, not to talk about it.