To this day, I can't remember how many times I've watched it, and each time I do, I feel differently. Maybe it's because I've been focusing on life and death issues lately, and the feelings I got from watching it this time were more about thinking about death.
The drama begins with the death of the female lead, Rui Xiaodan. After a shocking explosion, accompanied by the theme music "Daughter of Heaven", Rui Xiaodan says: "That summer when I was 27, I died. But I was so open and contented in my heart, walking towards heaven with an eternal love. Four days later, Lin Yufeng, a leading figure in China's audio industry, drove off a cliff. Liu Bing, a small man selling records in the ancient city, both like a victor and like an aggrieved child, jumped from the top of a 20-story building. Both the eternity suffered and the deaths of two people in a row within two months are due to a bone-deep love and a gift." These three people all died by suicide, but the cause of death and dying mind, but there is a world of difference, we will have what to think from it?
01, a great disaster
Rui Xiaodan's occupation is a police officer, in an operation, a gun muzzle to her head. She was suddenly startled and thought: it's over. However, to her surprise, the gun didn't go off. She immediately realized that it was a stink bomb, so she seized this thousandth of a second to subdue the criminal, and then took out the handcuffs from her waist. Only then did Rui Xiaodan see clearly that this person was none other than Wang Mingyang, the number two person in the crime syndicate.
Just as Rui Xiaodan was about to handcuff Wang Mingyang, she suddenly saw a criminal raising his gun and was about to shoot at his colleague Zhao Guoqiang. Rui Xiaodan's hand shot the criminal's head, and the criminal fell to the ground, splattering blood.
When Rui Xiaodan completely calm down, this is the moment she really rationally appreciate, death once again passed her by. There was only one thought in her head: if it wasn't a stink bomb just now, then she would never see Ding Yuanying again. The thought that she might never see Ding Yuanying again, her heart surged with a deathly pain, and tears silently trickled down her face.
She subconsciously took out her cell phone and dialed Ding Yuanying's number. Just a moment after Ding Yuanying's voice came into her ears, she cried out like an aggrieved child seeing his father and said, "I was almost killed just now, the muzzle of the gun was on my head, it was a stink bomb, I'm afraid that after I die, I'll never see you again...... "There was silence on the phone. Ding Yuanying was silent for a moment, made a decision and said, "This life to get your confidant, enough."
Rui Xiaodan turned off the phone, suddenly had a feeling of emptiness. In a short period of time, experienced their own from death to life, and then personally ended the life of a person, and then got the love of the painstaking pursuit of love, from great sadness to great joy. This journey of the heart, so that she has a deep experience and thinking about death.
02. Discussing Death
As a police officer, facing death head-on is inevitable. Once out on a trip, Ding Yuanying solemnly told her, "You should resign. Please note that it is you who should, not me who wants to. As long as you are a police officer for one minute, you have to fulfill your vocation as a police officer this minute, and you have no right to avoid danger. But the state machinery is not short of a woman criminal police officer who will sooner or later be eliminated, and society deserves one more person of extraordinary talent, which is not a value that can be understood by commonplace heroism and commonplace sense of equality."
After a discussion with Buddhist overtones, Rui Xiaodan pondered in her head for a long time before saying, "I'm a criminal police officer, and I can't resign because I'm afraid of death. You shouldn't have said it, you should know how hard it should be to reject you. I believe in your discernment, and that you are judging my future on such terms as you can grasp, but that is yours, not mine."
This discussion also foreshadows the end of Rui Xiaodan and opens up a discussion between the two about death. When they get home, Rui Xiaodan closes all the curtains, then turns on the stereo and plays that Daughter of Heaven record. Rui Xiaodan closed her eyes in intoxication and murmured, "I really want to die just like this, in your arms, and then you scatter me into the sea, and I'll be the happiest woman." Ding Yuanying said, "How can you die to make an arc in the night sky, what is this?"
Rui Xiaodan said softly, "Look, the night is so beautiful. When the time comes, I will lie in your arms and listen to music, listen to you tell me about heaven and hell, and I will die quietly in your arms, and my grave will be full of fine forget-me-nots, and in the drizzly morning, you will come through the winding path, and you will stand silently in front of my grave with a flower in your hand, and ah ...... I will live in your heart forever. "
Ding Yuanying said, "You just said to go to the sea, how to turn your eyes and drill underground?" Rui Xiaodan laughed, thought for a moment and said, "No, you still have to sprinkle the sea for me, then you stand on the beach, you look at the infinite sea, fell two tears of the wolf dog, and then wandered off, and was taken in by a beautiful woman."
From this discussion, we can understand why Rui Xiaodan finally chose to die gracefully. In her heart, after having the love of Ding Yuanying, she no longer has any fear of death. This is what Yuan Hao Wen's "Touching the Fish" says: "To ask what love is in the world is to teach one to live and die". Love to the depths, death is no longer terrible, which is why the martyrdom of the people do not fear death.
03, face death
Rui Xiaodan at the end of an outgoing mission to send the family of the head of the criminal police team to go home, on the way back to the county, and the criminal accidentally encountered. Her first instinctive reaction was to call Ding Yuanying, she opened her cell phone while driving and immediately connected: "Yuanying? ...... Listen, don't interrupt me. I am in the north Shaanxi wind beach area of a return to the county town of the dirt road, no matter how coincidental, in short, ran into the wanted criminal Huang Fuhai, he is the first criminal of the three armed bank robbery cases in Gucheng, there are still three did not see clearly, they are on the side of the road to the jeep to change the tires. This is only 15 kilometers from Qin Gu County, it's a 20-minute drive." Ding Yuanying was silent on the phone, not saying a single word for a few seconds.
Rui Xiaodan then dialed the group leader Zeng Hua's cell phone to inform the situation and request reinforcements. After making the call immediately turned off the phone, which allowed her to be undisturbed, able to calm down and focus on the immediate contingency. After a period of maneuvering, she ended up being caught in a suicide blast, losing her legs and disfiguring her appearance. Perhaps due to her training, even after the explosion, Rui Xiaodan still held a gun in each of her two hands. She persisted in confronting the chief criminal, Huang Fuhai, until the arrival of reinforcements.
The Way of Heaven didn't film Rui Xiaodan committing suicide, but the original The Distant Savior did describe it. When she watched the convoy drove over, many police and armed police rushed down before the car stopped, she saw Zeng Hua, Huang Wenxian, Captain Wang ...... her mind, but the scene of Ding Yuanying carrying a box of instant noodles before the Spring Festival that year, the heart of the grim self-speak: "Good girl, I can no longer love you later, go to find their own food I can't love you anymore, go and find food by yourself." She struggled to hold up a little body, put the gun into the chest against the heart keyed the trigger, with a bang of the gun, she committed suicide. All those present were stunned by the scene!
Rui Xiaodan committed suicide, almost no one can understand her suicide, and even more no one can understand the silence of Ding Yuanying on the phone. Before the end of the whole book, Xiao Yawen asked Ding Yuanying these two questions.
Xiao Yawen asked, "Why did Xiaodan kill herself?"
Ding Yuanying replies, "Because she thought she was useless."
Xiao Yawen said: "Useless to commit suicide, will generally be considered to trample on the dignity of life."
Ding Yuanying said, "Words say dignity, there is dignity? Dignity that can be trampled on is not dignity, it is politeness. Dignity that can be spoken is relatively dignified, after all, no dignity."
Xiao Yawen asked, "Xiaodan called you, why don't you stop her?"
Ding Yuanying said, "Xiaodan's phone has only one meaning, to say goodbye. In the face of such a goodbye what can I say? What can I say? I know I can not stop her, Xiaodan also know that I will not stop her. Xiaodan won't have a choice because she has me to stop her, and I didn't fail to stop her because I couldn't."
Xiao Yawen asks heavily, "Why?"
Ding Yuanying calmly said, "Because, she is a police officer."
This conversation is a good explanation of the reason why Xiao Dan committed suicide. Although the heart understands all this, but in the face of Xiaodan's death, Ding Yuanying no matter how to confront, soothe, cover up, can not help the pain in the heart, that is a heart like a knife, unbearable, unquenchable - pain.
He thought he was the man of understanding, he thought he could be calm and outlook, but when he quietly brewed a cup of tea quietly drink to his mouth, the cup of tea was blocked by a lump in his throat, that is, in the moment he tried to swallow the cup of tea, a physiological can not control the thing suddenly sprayed from the chest, he instinctively closed his mouth tightly, quickly walked to the bathroom sink, and spit out a mouthful of Bright red bright red blood. In the past, he had always thought that vomiting blood from a broken heart was an exaggerated depiction of literature, and this moment made him realize that it wasn't an exaggerated depiction of literature, it was a failure to get to that place of sadness. Also at this moment, his rationality, his strong ...... collapse!
He was suddenly weak, his eyes danced with gold stars, as if there were millions of needles piercing his heart. That kind of strangling pain that erupts like magma tears the heart and lungs, and the chest chokes up so much that people want to cry but can not cry. Then he was told by phone that Rui Xiaodan's father would not allow him to attend the funeral. That meant he couldn't even know where her grave was. She'd left him with an eternal soul and eternal beauty, and she was happy and without regrets in heaven.
The question of life and death is one that we all have to face. The general people are happy to live and hate to die, but Rui Xiaodan after the experience of great difficulties, death is very light, and even see death as the love of eternity. In the face of Rui Xiaodan's death, Ding Yuanying murmured in his heart: "When life is life, when death is death, come and go as you please. Girl, it's not simple!" This sentence is the best portrayal of Rui Xiaodan's view of life and death.
2017/07/09 ?22:22 at Zi Yunju