You still love your distant square dance.

Text/Qu Shanggu Liang

0 1.

This is the fourth time I have written and played it.

I thought I would never write about you again. I thought I could stop thinking about you. I thought it was all me.

Last night, I opened Netease Cloud, which recommended a song: Don't think about me.

The first time I heard this song was a long time ago in a tea shop.

The shopkeeper is a young girl. When this song was played, she stared at her mobile phone tightly and cried when she looked at it. I subconsciously looked at her mobile phone, and the screensaver was her and another boy.

It's actually comforting to see her cry, because I haven't cried like her for a long time.

Since I left you, my concept of crying seems to be getting more and more vague.

After the separation, I actually had a good life, but I didn't love again. To me, love seems to be a more mysterious thing.

I'm afraid of contact. I'm afraid to talk about it.

Sometime after half a year, I dreamed of you for a week, and every day was different.

At that time, I told my friends around me that none of them believed me. They say it is impossible to dream about the same person for a week in a row, but it is true.

In fact, I didn't think much about you, but I don't know why I can dream about you every day and be with you.

Maybe your subconscious is thinking about you.

Those days, I was particularly sleepy, because the little man in my heart told me that I could dream of you in my dream and talk and laugh with you.

I gradually let myself live in a dream and keep deceiving myself. Every time I wake up, I deliberately don't open my eyes. I think I can still be with you, even if it's only for one second, one minute.

But when I woke up from my dream, I woke up after all.

Pretending to sleep, I can't go back.

02

Roma asked me before, have you ever really liked someone?

I thought about it for a long time. Yes, I like him.

Luo Mu said that liking someone will make you feel inferior, but you are still willing to love.

This feeling is really like us at that time.

I always feel that we met at the right time.

You will spoil me, take care of me and treat me like a daughter, just like other girls' boyfriends.

Every time we choose to skip class, study math there at night, and then play on campus. It's normal for math teachers.

Once I met a math teacher who asked me why you weren't there when I came to study at night.

I pretended to be pathetic and said to the teacher, teacher, maybe it's because you are too handsome. I'm afraid of disturbing your class order in class.

The teacher looked at me helplessly. You are the cleverest. You still have to take classes. Don't always want to play.

Ok, teacher, come again next time.

Then, the next night, we studied by ourselves, but we really didn't leave.

On the night of staying, the math teacher gave me a thumbs-up sign, but I was listless on the table and wrote your name in the notebook.

I have been doing voice control since junior high school, and I like good voices very much. It happened that I met you at this time.

I want to hear you sing and talk to me.

When you are in love, you sing me a song every night. I remember the first song was when you were here by JJ Lin. In order not to disturb your roommate, you will go to the toilet while recording songs, record them several times in it, and then send me the most satisfactory one.

It is said that 2 1 day forms a habit.

After 2 1 day, I will do it every day.

The first twenty-one days we were together were probably because you used to sing to me before going to bed, and I used to listen to you before going to bed.

I like your voice. I like to cut your voice together as an alarm clock and a ringtone.

We promised each other to take wedding photos one year later and ten years later.

My fantasy future is very beautiful. But the reality makes us sad.

03

A few months before the new year, we broke up.

One night when I was studying by myself, I played with your mobile phone and saw you saying to a girl: I'll break up with her later.

I didn't ask you right away, but I thought about two classes before I decided to tell you about it after school.

But who knows, after school, I took my cell phone and asked you why you said that.

But you said that even if you don't break up now, you will still break up after the exam.

You walked ahead as you talked, without looking back at me. I know it must have been hard for you.

After all, we still love each other.

In this way, we walked slowly all the way, as if there were only two of us in the dark campus.

I walked for a long time without quarreling or laughing. The light of the street lamp reflects on you, which makes you particularly dazzling, but I am extremely small.

I look at your back, farther and farther away from me, and the tears in my eyes keep spinning.

Finally, I squatted on the ground and let it out. You may have noticed that my steps stopped.

Turned to look back at me and found me squatting on the ground crying. You came up to me and said, why bother? Long pain is better than short pain. We will break up sooner or later.

I don't understand why.

You take a deep breath and say, I'm not in school in senior three, and you're alone in school. I'm afraid you can't stand it. That feeling is really hard. I don't want you to go through it.

I said, it's okay. I'm not afraid. I can get through this. I don't have much time.

You shake your head and hurry back to the dormitory. It's quite cold outside at night. Don't catch cold, your stomach is not good.

I didn't notice you. I squatted on the ground, hugged me and cried. You look at me like this. I smelled it and stood beside me without saying anything.

After a while, a schoolmate passed by us and kept looking back at us with strange eyes.

You said, be good, get up quickly, I can't delay your happiness. Maybe separation is the best choice for you and me.

In the first year of high school, a senior sister stood downstairs in the boys' dormitory, shouting and crying at it.

At this time, I am like a senior at that time.

I hear your firmness from your attitude. So I didn't look at you again, got up slowly and walked back to the dormitory in a trance.

When you come back, lie in bed and cry.

I'm afraid of losing you, I'm afraid of facing the day after leaving you, and I'm afraid of being alone.

Before going to bed, pick up the phone and send you a message.

Ask you, what is our relationship now. Say, what do you want?

I said, I miss you and don't want to lose you.

You sent a smiling reply, so you should get through this year. Can you stand it?

I quickly said yes, yes.

In this way, we came together again.

However, this incident has affected our future.

I'll be careful what I say, lest I make a mistake. We may have to say goodbye.

Unfortunately, however, we have not escaped this robbery.

You said, I don't want to be apart if I can. As long as we don't part, neither you nor I will be happy.

Not all deep love can grow old, and not all deep love can grow old.

We parted at one o'clock at night and woke up in the morning to see you leave me a message. You said: Look at you and forget you slowly.

I asked you if you must forget. You just said the lyrics. Don't take it too seriously.

But when we like someone, we will take all the actions of the other person seriously.

04

You said, remember to eat on time in the future, and don't skip meals to lose weight. You are not fat, your baby fat is cute.

Also, don't be so kind to others and don't believe anything a man says. Finally, if you hate me, don't love me and live a good life.

When I see you on the bus, the whole person seems to have lost a balance point and wobbled.

Tears welled up in my eyes. It rained heavily outside that day. I looked at the people coming and going outside the window in the car and felt that the city was particularly lonely.

We have changed from two people who love each other very much to two strangers.

After that, I lived more and more depraved, and suffered the pain of loss like a wandering soul all day.

I'm telling you, we can still be friends. You said we could be friends if you wanted.

That's true, but if you do make friends, it will still be embarrassing.

This is how we live. In September, you went to other places and had a relationship. I know that girl too. She is a good girl.

People around you don't think much of you, but I don't know why, I always think you can go on.

When you really love someone, you can't meet him unhappy. You can't wait for him to take a picture of his smiling face in the circle of friends every day, even if it is a picture full of love.

Now, I don't know how you are living alone in the field, whether you eat well or sleep well, whether you are hard or not.

She may not love you as much as I love you, but her love is also precious. You should cherish it and don't miss it again.

I often think, as long as you dare not be timid, why should we miss it? When you clearly love me, there is no reason not to love this result.

Miss you, it seems that we haven't spoken for a long time.

I dreamed about you in my dream the other day. You came to my school gate with a big bag of my favorite potato chips. When you saw me, you hugged me excitedly and said to me, baby, I'm back.

But just as I was enjoying the reunion after a long separation, I woke up from my dream, turned on my cell phone and cried at your photo.

A long time ago, I wrote in my novel that when we meet again, I must give you a tight hug and say to you: Jiang Mumu, I miss you so much.

However, such a dialogue actually appeared in a dream.

Between you and me, it is really like a dream, but this dream is so real.

It suddenly occurred to me that some time ago, I met your girlfriend and she came to my part-time restaurant for dinner. The girl is very beautiful, and there is a kind of beauty between her words and manners.

After she recognized me, she smiled at me and asked me why I came here, whether to experience life or not to go to school.

I smiled and said, I am earning tuition.

She nodded. You are awesome.

Like you, she smiles beautifully, but she doesn't like coriander, garlic and carbonated soft drinks.

Two similar people should be happy together.

Right, you are the kind of male chauvinist boy. And she happens to be a very young girl who needs your protection.

I think this kind of love is probably what you want.

05

After you left, the opposite sex around me also confessed to me, but it was hard for me to be tempted again.

Even if I move my heart, I don't want to make any progress.

One of the boys who chased me for more than a year said, I can see that there is someone in your heart, and he is still a very important person. I also know that I can never replace him.

In that case, I don't have to be with you, I just hope you can be happy.

Yes, I have a person in my heart that no one can replace.

He is the only one for me, he is the love of my life, and this person is you.

I seem to be afraid to love more and more, more and more afraid to love. I'm afraid that after giving everything, the ending will be like you and me.

Now I just want to work hard, learn more knowledge and read more books. Enrich yourself, do what you like and put yourself in the deepest place.

I won't wait for you, I just still love you.

But my love has a time limit. As for how long this period is, I don't know. It may be a year, two years, ten or twenty years, or even a lifetime.

One day, I will meet him.

At that time, I will cherish it and love him as much as I love you.

In the distance, you should take good care of yourself and love her.

Finally, we should all be happy.

end