-01-
Reader Peach confided in me that she and her husband have been married for three years, but because both of them are career-minded people, because they are afraid of affecting their own promotion in the workplace, so they have never had children.
Peach, who is 35 years old, said she was anxious to have a child because she was past her optimal childbearing age. Last month, she discussed with her husband about having a child, and her husband was very agreeable. So the two of them talked about it with their mother-in-law who is far away from home. But I did not expect the mother-in-law said to be able to, but the child was born, she will not give them to bring, because of their own hard to retire, want to spend a few years of leisure days, go out to travel, square dancing, and take good care of the body. She and her partner will go to the nursing home when they are old, and do not expect them to old age.
Listening to her mother-in-law's words, Peach is naturally sad and disappointed, but her mother-in-law said this, she and her husband can not help. What Peaches is struggling with now is the fear that after having a child, without the help of her mother-in-law to bring up the child, I do not know what kind of hardship will be faced in the work and care of the child?
So, how would baby moms live in a family without a mother-in-law to bring up their children? We might as well take a look at the experience of those who have been there:
-02-
Mrs. Liu, 37 years old, shopping mall shopper
I married my husband in a bare-bones marriage, thinking that my mother-in-law would be able to miss me not wanting to do the bride price of a good job of it, and gave birth to a child, her mother-in-law did not help with that, I was alone to bring it up, and her sister-in-law, who was the only one to bring it up. The two families are civil servants, mother-in-law to help her family with the baby does not help my family, my husband's work is also particularly busy. Later, my husband asked her to come to see the child, she found fault with us everywhere, and after a fight, she left. She said that since she said she had a pension, she didn't expect anyone in the future! She's a real bully. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this on my own, because I'm not going to be able to do it on my own.
Ms. Hu, 33, Taobao store owner
I am a mother of two, and my mother-in-law has not done a single meal, and has not held a child for a day. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of this, but I'm sure I'll be able to get out of it. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to afford to pay for this, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to afford to pay for this, and I'm sure I'm going to be able to afford to pay for this.
Mrs. Lee, 29 years old, full-time mother
I was pregnant with my mother-in-law said that she would not help to bring up the child, from the birth of the child what has not been in charge, has been to her daughter's home to see the baby, a let us come to see the baby on a variety of uncomfortable body. All kinds of reasons do not want to see. Later quarrel, she also said that old age does not need me to manage. Now the child is 7 years old, we only went back once, love how to do, feel great ah, just their own hard work.
-03-
Today's society, it's not easy to earn money, and young people's survival pressure is particularly high. If, mother-in-law is helping to bring, the young couple's usual pressure will be reduced a lot, naturally, will not be raising children and make a fuss, hurt feelings. You know, the couple relationship is not good, wait until the mother-in-law is old, the mother-in-law's old age will not be too good! It's really not a calculation but a reality.
In fact, the in-laws let the son of the old age is no problem, but the problem is that many sons even their own small family are not good, if you do not let the daughter-in-law to go out to earn money together to support the family, that to the old age, the son would like to old age is also the heart is not able to ah. Nowadays, the pressure of work is so high, the competition is so fierce, in this case, there is no old man to help bring up the children, and have the old man to help, really will be a lot of difference.
Those families who are full-time working mothers are dealing with their own mortgages, car loans, children's education, a family of basic life will feel the pressure, how can the son take out the extra time and money to give you old age? To make an analogy, you need someone to take care of, the son may not have the money to give you a nanny caregiver, if in the daughter-in-law she needs your help, you chose to stand by and do nothing, late in life, and how many can do willingly to take care of you?
I think as an old man, when there is still physical strength, more to help the daughter-in-law to take care of the children, but also for the harmony of the family is good, nowadays the woman than the older generation is not easy, after a day of work to come home and take care of the children as well as a variety of household chores, in a word, it is not easy!
As an old man, don't just think about whether you can comfortably retire, the human touch is to help each other. Ten years to see the mother-in-law, ten years to see the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law if you do not sympathize with the daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law will not be grateful to the mother-in-law, the pain is still in the middle of that son and husband.