"Today is hosted by the Office of the President of Kassel College, Kassel College special program of 'Do not disturb'! I am the host, Fingal von Forsling! As for this hostess beside me, given that she has already hung up in the normal dimension of the program, you can all see her as a tombstone. Tombstones don't really need an introduction right? Tombstones already have words on them. Let's start by cutting to the commercial ......"
(Commercial screen: background music "I had a little donkey I never rode ...... " blares - "Catch the fair!" Sir Henkel, wearing a cowboy hat and riding a donkey, appears, "Looking for houses, antiques, alchemy equipment, parchment scrolls, and mummies to buy and sell! You will be on the Sotheby's Auction House Directional Auction! I've got everything in that pimple!")
"Your sister!" Hostess Natsuya flew up and kicked Fingal in the face, "Don't take it upon yourself to change your lines! Have you fed your worldview of honor and shame and integrity to the dogs! Where is the professional ethics of a host?"
"And where are your ethics as Dragon King?" Fingal twisted his mouth, "In the duel in the subway, if not for the ambiguous relationship between you and Chu Zihang can not be clear, the victory is still to tell each other with him, you would have killed him with a knife! Half of the world's mixed race elites have to be folded in Beijing, our book has long been over, the insoles do not need to rush the manuscript, Jiangnan does not need to stay up all night to catch up with the manuscript! The whole world has been destroyed! Everyone goes back to the Stone Age happily leaning on cows!"
"Bullshit! If the dragon tribe revives you still have cows to roast! You'll be a cow and a horse for me, and you're still hosting the show with me? Only worthy of kneeling down and licking my toes!" Natsuya got angry and put on a serious face, "Fine! Then let me say seriously that I'm a very ethical Dragon King! Is it easy for me? For the sake of restoring the Dragon Clan, I've used all my color seduction lol! I went to school with Chu Zihang for so many years, such a handsome guy, but I can only look at him but not eat him, for what? Wasn't it for the sake of the clan? I'm a beautiful boy I sacrifice how much ah me!"
Fingal (covering his face): "But is not arrogant, revealing the naked nymphomaniac nature ......"
(The audience flew to the sea tide of tomatoes, these ripe tomatoes are so dense that they hit each other in the air, turning into fresh tomato sauce.)
Fingal (facing a sea of tomatoes in the audience): "I told you to say something relevant to the topic! Are you done now?" (surveying Natsuya's entire body) "I, as a brown German, certainly don't mind being covered in tomato sauce, but you, as a little female dragon, wouldn't it be a shame to be painted tomato red?" (gloating face) "Tsk!"
Natsuya: "Speech Spirit - Wind King's Pupil!"
A minute later, the male host, who had been strangled by the tomato tornado, stood next to the female host, whose white T-shirt and long dress seemed to be covered in sunlight, and smiled, "Am I afraid of a mere tomato sauce? Have I ever told you the story of how I just year's collected enough chocolate sauce to smear a year's worth of breakfast bread?"
Xia Ya nodded: "Said, just did not think of how it was received ...... To return to the topic, today's theme is not senior brother your Romance memorial service! Rather, it is our non-sincere matchmaking conference ah! Then next please all the beautiful and touching female guests and handsome and dashing male guests--"
Background music played, the flamboyant female guests have appeared, some of them wearing Castle College uniform sets of skirts, there are very few in hot tights, there is also a Cheng * * sex in a silk robe, and another with an unfinished half-sweater in her hand ...... sweater?
There was no time to take a closer look at the women, but the audience's eyes were drawn back to the men who descended from the middle of the stage in an elevator. The first one to make an appearance was Cassel Academy's only S-rank, the legendary ultimate ace, Mr. Luminee!
Lumingfei (bowing): "Hello senior brother, hello tombstone sister, I'm Lumingfei, and I'm very happy to be here tonight with all of you ......"
Natsuya impatiently interrupts:" STOPSTOP! Elder brother your introductions are too cliché! Let's cut straight to the chase! (Turning over the line book) May I ask what is your specialty, Senior Lumingfei?"
Lu Mingfei (shyly shaking his head): "Specialty? There's nothing, every time the dragon slaying is by cheating, the life is only one-half; play handsome how over 100 million dollars to shoot the Swiss Army Knife Oh no seven deadly sins; but these money is not mine; Kassel Institute of the black card is very impressive, but the summer back to the country to brush it to eat a meal, it is necessary to freeze it on the spot in front of high school friends, which caused me to lose face, and finally to rely on good friends. I was humiliated in front of my high school classmates, and in the end, I relied on my good friend Chu to save face. ...... Oh yeah, I also invented the popular phrase 'Icossellyou'. ...... Other than that, I'm pretty good at playing Starcraft. Better at playing Starcraft!!!"
The lights went out for all the female guests.
Fingal (embarrassed laugh): "Don't be like that, brother, he's just a bit more youthful and frank, and playing Starcraft is not a bad hobby, right? That is e-sports! It's an international tournament! Beijing Internet cafe and many people call him Mr. Lu it ...... cough, we still first invited the next male guest, the second male guest is a tall, reliable, mature and elegant and both naive and childish success of the man oh! Sentient - Professor Guderian!!!"
Professor Guderian black suit pants white coat, glasses polished snow, quite scholarly style, completely out of the usual middle-aged two hundred and fifty, which makes sitting in the audience Manstein was very pleased.
However, Xia - tombstone - 弥 students' questions are still pungent and incomparable: "Hello, Professor, please introduce your age and relationship status first!"
Guderian: "Oops my age can't be seen by looking at my face, anyway, in the academy I'm also considered to be young, compared to those tenured professors ~ relationship experience is that I'm single so far, but in fact, I'm ......"
Xia-Yi Sharp interrupted, "Your title is?"
Guderian: "Associate ...... Associate ...... Professor."
The lights went out on all the female guests.
Fingal is baffled: "Why? Professor he is a good man na!"
Natsumi: "This, I have to use my lurking years to learn human common sense thinking to explain: 'this age is still associate professor, absolutely no future'! As the saying goes, 'It's better to cry in a professor's arms than to sit next to him and laugh'!"
Fingal forehead: "Where did you hear this strange common sense Oh ...... never mind, into the next guest!!!"
The third guest didn't have much to say. He was Cesar Gattuso. He wore a tailor-made full set of Versace, the first time he came out to conquer all the audience with the mighty and valiant king of the air, but he came up and started to confess to Nonno, a long and exhausting unrecognizable streak, all the juniors of the Kassel Student Council also on the side of the may throw rose petals and play piano quartet background music, the two hosts did not interject for ten full minutes... ...
In the end, Nono couldn't take it anymore and threw him out himself. Fingal rushed to applaud: "Here we still cut back to the main topic! Please welcome male guest #4 to the stage!"
The elevator slowly descended, first revealing the male guest's black pants and leather shoes.)
"What a low key outfit!" Fingal turned to the cameraman, "Male guest #4 came out in a very plain attire, nothing like #3 from earlier!"
"Yes, male guest #3 impressed the audience with his full Versace set, and I especially liked his black leather pants and treasure blue shirt." Principal Unger in the commentary box nodded slightly.
"Only a flamboyant playboy like you would be interested in leather pants and a treasure blue shirt! The focus is on his platinum Patek Philippe watch!" The vice-principal interrupted the principal rudely.
"But understatement is a sign of strength!" Fingal tried to buoy the audience's enthusiasm, "Maybe the next one will be a customized blouse of royal standards! Didn't Prince William wear these bland suit pants when he got married? But the top is the gorgeous red uniform of the Royal Irish Guards infantry regiment! That's awesome! That's awesome! It's awesome!"
"Then the next one should be a sheikh's head." Natsuya said happily. (Author's note: A generation of handsome Prince William had the misfortune of having his head shaved early, but it seems to have been inherited from his father.)
"Get lost! Don't tell me it's Professor Manstein who's here today! It'll hurt the ratings! At the point where we're hitting a million sales nationwide with a first printing of 650,000 copies, God forbid give me a hot guy to dangle some popularity!" Fingal raged.
Prof. Manstein in the audience coldly raised his hand, "I'm here."
"Just kidding about your name, don't take it seriously! Hahahahaha! You will not be so petty to block my way to graduation, right? Ha ha ha ha ha, you are so generous will not. I didn't know you were in the audience." Fingal did not recognize the winks and said, "You are the center of attention everywhere you go as bright as the lights. ......"
Manstein: "Forget about graduation!"
Fingal (turning his head): "Damn! It's taken this long for the male guest to show his face?"
Backstage Supervisor Chiran: "Because you've been talking about his pants, it's inconvenient to let his whole body out and leave the elevator stuck halfway."
Fingal: "Live and let live, it sure looks like it's wonderful at work, not a Caesar kind of good guy who's wonderful from the bottom half of his body
......"
Natsuya: "No. Why does it feel like the theme is a little juvenile up ......"
Fingal: "Juvenile things! Backstage! Put the male guest down! Let's see him in full! It's a mule or a horse out for a walk!"
"Sure enough, it's an Irish Guards Regiment red uniform!" Look at that golden ribbon and the reincarnation badge!"
"Hey! You've got it wrong, don't you? Shouldn't I be the one screaming in happiness and you're the one talking smack?" Natsuya quirked her mouth, "You're like Little Miss Royal meeting Wang Leehom!"
"Ohhhh, mistake, I'm still reeling from the mental suggestion that you're a tombstone, thinking I should shoulder both the male and female hosting duties ......" Fingal scratched his head in embarrassment, "So come on you! scream at me to come and say sarcasm ......"
"Holy shit!" Natsuya scowled, "You scream so perfectly I can't think of how to top it ...... How about I come and say sass, I mean this dress code taste huh? Are you Prince William? It looks like the material and workmanship are so cottage-like! Nowadays, men only know to pull the wind, do not know that the girl hates the most pretentious man, aiya aiya aiya ...... actually also a little bit of the signs of the dome alas! It's not really a prince, is it? Speaking of which, the proportion of mixed blood in the royal family is quite high ...... wow, he also tattooed on the top of his head, really sexy!" (in excitement)
"You've got the wrong contact lens prescription, he's just got a KFC family bucket over his head!"
Natsuya (in shock), "Holy shit! What's with the backstage supervision? The midnight snack I asked for should have been delivered to the dressing room! Why did they send the takeout boy up as a guest?
Fingal (lowering his voice): "That's right, your Chicken Leg Burger has been delivered to the dressing room, and this isn't a delivery boy, this is a mysterious person who has been very active lately! Mr. KFC! Let's see what the 12 women in the room have to say about Mr. KFC ...... Oh ...... all out ...... Can I ask the girls why they collectively extinguished their lights on Mr. KFC? "
No.1 female guest No.1: "Haven't you heard the old saying? If you don't lose weight in May, you'll be sad in June, sad in July, sad in August, and sad in September! Please don't put out this kind of male guest with extremely high fat content in this sad season, okay?"
Fingal: "Doesn't October hurt?"
Natsuya: "No knowledge! When you get there, you won't be able to wear a halter dress, and you won't be able to see the flesh!"
Fingal: "Oh oh, may be the male guest of honor's appearance clothing choice is a bit of a mistake, we are giving the male guest of honor a chance, may I ask the male guest of honor dinner is KFC?"
Mr. KFC said something, but no one heard him because the family bucket was in the way. Fingal leaned in close to him and listened carefully, passing the word on for him, "Oh, he said he had frogfish fillets in orange sauce and chardonnay white wine with garlic seafood soup."
Fingal: "The lights are on full blast, giving the female guests a chance to make a new choice! Oooh! It's so surprising that there are actually 10 female guests who rushed to Mr. KFC for our fancy dinner! They are No.1 Nono, No.2 Zero, No.3 Suzy, No.4 Chen Wenwen, No.3 Liu Miaomiao, No.4 Su Xiaotan, No.7 Sakode Mai ...... I thi and No.8 Sakode Aki! Is this a love drama between two sisters fighting over a man? No.9, please stop eating chips, what kind of occasion do you think this is? It's a blind date! And #10, what do you mean you're wearing a bucket on your head? Makeup artist! What the hell kind of makeup artist is this? You're going out on a blind date with this look? There is nothing new, even if you want to go to the food department can wear a Pizza Hut plate!"
Natsuya: "It's a girl who hasn't shown her face yet."
Fingal: "...... Well well well, it looks like our Mr. KFC is expected to be the dark horse of the show!10 for female guests willing to get to know him better. May I ask Mr. KFC how you are feeling right now?"
Mr. KFC's voice was still unheard, and Fingal once again chimed in on his behalf, "...... He said that he just wanted to know who and what the two female guests were who extinguished his lights, and that the experience was simply a major blot on his life... ..."
One of the female guests steamed bun plastic perm curls, holding half of the unfinished sweater, frankly stood up: "It's me! What do you want!"
Fingal (vigorously applauded): "Worthy of being Lu Mingfei's aunt Lord really domineering! But Tombstone students, non-sincere do not disturb why would enter a big mom guest ah?"
Xia Mi smiled: "According to the director, because we are 'Castle College Class Council - Do Not Disturb', so it is normal to enter some of the parents who surround the exchange ...... "
Aunt to the Kowloon Walled City, chartered lady like the lofty momentum of a wave of sweater needles: "class committee on the class committee, but also pull what do not disturb ah! Bring bad children! If it is not the director invited me so many times I do not come! Your independent college small broken three, our family Mingze not see it ......"
Fingal interrupted: "Auntie, the main topic of the main topic, why did you put out his light?"
Aunt Fingal interrupted, "Why did you put out his lights? He can only eat a few pieces of fish, a bowl of soup and half a glass of wine at a meal. Look at our family Mingze, at least three whole family bucket, yes that is what he put on his head."
Natsuya (in a low voice): "Anyway, we did not invite that height 160 weight 160 to be the guest of honor ...... Well then please another female guest of honor, you extinguished the lights of the reason again?"
"Because this pairing doesn't sound very reasonable, Mr. Francis, who taught me French cuisine, said that the orange frog fish filet should still be paired with ......" The female guest who spoke was a pretty aunt in a silk robe, talking elegantly and gently, the only problem was that she didn't look quite as tall as she was supposed to be. The only problem is that she looks like she hasn't woken up yet ......
Lu Mingfei, who was kicked off the stage, held his forehead: "My aunt is even if I'm used to losing people at parent-teacher conferences, how did they get Chu Zihang's mom here too ... ... "Totally unnoticed Su Xi snickering on the side, she recently engaged in a roundabout battle, and "(target) future mother-in-law" relationship is better than girlfriends.
Fingal interrupts Auntie's dreamy French cuisine speech, "Well, let's just move on to the next part of the conversation, may I ask Mr. Kendrick if you have any hobbies?"
Mr. Kendrick continued to whisper, Fingal once again on behalf of the message, "Oh he said he usually like to play a cello, play a game of basketball, but also like to study a variety of academic works to understand the psychology of women and fashion trends ...... academic works?"
Natsuya: "These interests sound familiar ugh, but who exactly is it, how can't I remember ...... How about asking for more personal information so we can all guess who he really is?"
Fingal: "We are not a dating program well how to become "I guess I guess I guess guess guess" oh! Not to mention as a sounding board I actually already know the truth! But look at the field everyone seems to be full of interest in him ...... "He swept a glance at the excited female guests, really girls like to have a sense of mystery of the man ah ...... "then continue to Hobbies and Interests! Oh he said his idol is, recently like the cartoon is "rebel Lulu Xiu", because very want to learn Lulu Xiu 'one hand instantly with two contact lenses' technology, in addition he is also very good at cooking, often take a more than a meter long knife and fast and hard cut salmon fillets, of course, in addition to the salmon he is also very good at cutting other things! ......"
Natsuya (cold sweat): "Sounds a lot like ...... that cargo ...... "
But she had not finished speaking, that wearing a silk robe de auntie has already swooped over, a reveal Mr. KFC's family bucket: "Zihang! Zihang, why do you have to come on this kind of program too! How come my Zihang can't find a date! Is it because mom's cooking is not good? Mom every time so hard that hard to cook, but also specially go to study so expensive French cuisine college, will not all for you ......"
"really is that ruthless kill embryo, ten thousand years can not marry out of the poor monks noble gentleman ......" summer - tombstone - Mi far eye, "see him feel my back hurts ah ......"
Chu Zihang Ren mom hugged his He said, "This is a task assigned by the Ministry of Execution, saying that pretending to be the mysterious 'Mr. KFC' to participate in an entertainment program may attract his attention in order to collect more information about him..."
Chu Zihang let his mother hold him and cried out. ..."
"What the hell, so it's the Executive Department again! Wasn't it enough to have Zihang disguised as a pregnant woman last time, what do you guys want!" Susie gritted her teeth, and Professor Guderian was even more revealing.
"Schneider! You're a guy who can't even leave the sacred dating program alone! It's just that you're so proud of how handsome you were drawn in the comic version of Dragons! My life's happiness is not over with you!"
"I told you there is nothing for me to do. ...... Go home and play intergalactic." Luming Fei shrugged his shoulders and wanted to leave, but was caught by his aunt, grabbed by the ears and grabbed back to fix the toilet, the other guests also made birds and beasts dispersed, Xia Ya froze for a moment, do not know what to say, or the long-tested ten years of tenth-grade senior brother experienced and hurried to close the scene:
"So, there are dragons characteristics of this Castle class committee successfully concluded! You feel the free-spirited yet serious and lively school spirit of this school? What, blind dates? Holding paws? There is that thing, everyone is still a college student to study first ...... Professor Guderian's twilight love can go to the nearby senior activity center to develop it hahahahaha ...... Then everyone goodbye!"