Humor Copywriting

Humor text (selected 76 sentences) 1. When I have nothing to do, I like to ask my husband if he knows what's wrong, and every time there are unexpected gains. 2. Just because in the crowd looked at you more than a glance, you chased me to ask: "Where to go, where to go, taxi?" 3. Fat people inherently have a death, or heavier than Mount Tai, or heavier than Mount Hua, or heavier than Mount Huang, or heavier than the Himalayas. 4. I want to borrow money to buy a tank, and I am afraid that in the end I can not afford to pay the money, and then think carefully, I have a tank and still afraid of what ah. 5. I don't want to sleep except when I go to bed. 6. It is said that the child is the pearl left on earth, and the mother is the angel sent by God to protect the child. I, on the other hand, am the gyro that God dropped, and my mom is the devil who likes to smoke the gyro. 7. I've been in a very, very long relationship that was narcissistic and didn't even have a love interest. 8. When cleaning up the house, I found that some of the cold medicine in the house was about to expire, which is paid for ah, the expiration date is a waste, so I took a cold shower, and blowing the air conditioning, the success of the cold, and finally found that the medicine is not enough! 9. Drop your smartphone hard to the ground, and it becomes a retarded phone. 10. The world's best alarm clock is mom, you let her seven o'clock to call you, she came at 6:30, but also told you: hurry up, almost eight o'clock. 11. Sister, how dare you grab a boyfriend with my sister, my sister has eaten more vinegar than you have eaten rice. 12. I am single, yesterday there is a girlfriend. We went shopping, the girlfriend went to the bathroom, I was in the bathroom near the public **** seat to play a game, play I forgot what I came to do, and then went straight home. 13. This month's performance is not good, was ready to eat dirt, but never thought ah, the sudden snow changed my meals. 14. Primary school students in the street to break up. Netizen: Please give more love to the 90s empty-nester elderly. 15. Today's English class practice listening, I frowned and finally finished choosing the answer, glanced at the bully, has not been chosen, I sneer, but so. The school bully seems to notice, thumbs up: "awesome, not yet read the question on the finish ah." 16. What is the most important thing for two people to be together after marriage? God replied: just as this marriage is not yet married. 17. Under the bridge in front of the door, swam a group of ducks - duck said: sister ah, often come to play ~ 18. four great inventions in English how to say? God Reply: star farming. 19. Radio gymnastics is too fake, the girls did more than ten years of chest expansion movement did not have any effect at all. God Reply: Boys dancing Latin dance is not also useless. 20. Today's society, raw rice cooked rice has no use, even if it becomes popcorn, the run will still run. 21. A fat man met another fat man, what is the most sentimental sentence? God Reply: Dude, where did you buy these clothes? How to fit so well? 22. Always say win or lose is not important, how can win or lose not important? If it's not important to win or lose, what's the point of having a competition? 23. Q: Is it too late to learn piano at the age of 26? A: It's hard, mom and dad can't beat you anymore. 24. Today, I passed a store hanging a pugilist, I think it's fun to stare at it, the results of the goods also stared at me, a moment after the goods said: how do you not speak? Well, you win ...... 25. "What does love at first sight feel like?" "Have you ever seen RMB?" 26. Many people ask me and YiYi QianXi what is the relationship, I helplessly said is a friend. YiYiChangXi suddenly hugged my thighs and cried, wife, you don't do this. 27. What is the most regretful thing I have said in this life? God replied: how do you think it looks good how to cut it? 28. Don't chase the bus, chase me, I run slow, but also a little cute. 29. Be a mature adult, tuck your fall coat into your fall pants and your fall pants into your socks. 30. I don't know how people who post a comment once every six months manage to do it, I don't post a comment for a day and I feel like I have nowhere to show my talent! 31. Finally know why people get married to choose a good day, because there may not be a good day after marriage. 32. You will never understand my sadness, just like fat people do not understand why thin people want to lose weight. 33. When I was a child, I thought falling down was a very serious matter, no matter if it hurt or not, I would cry first. 34. My son suddenly asked me: "Mom, I have a great aunt. Auntie. Auntie Four. Auntie five, why I do not have aunt three, is aunt three dead?" 35. Happiness is that, although the class did not listen, but found that the people who listened did not understand. 36. How to judge whether the shoes a person wears are new or old? Then step on him hard, if the other side said "you stepped on my foot!" If he says, "You're stepping on my foot!", then they are old shoes. If he says, "You stepped on my shoe!" then it must be a new shoe! 37. A kid gave me a hundred dollars and asked me to be his parent. When I got to his homeroom teacher, I immediately fell to my knees: "Wife, listen to me explain!" 38. Don't be too envious of the sports charts steps more than your best friend, they may not go far, they just short legs. 39. The most cruel reality is: like the girl like others, and do not like the girl or like others. 40. Some people rely on the strength of the exam, some exams rely on eyesight, and I rely on the exam is a rich imagination. 41. Let the boyfriend to listen to the general good-looking girl to spread a pampered to get it done, and I even have to rely on the threat. 42. The company's finance girl is a beautiful woman, yesterday's payroll more than 5 dollars to me, it seems that the opportunity to come, I decided to return the 5 dollars, both to contact the goddess, but also to show my person. As a result, she worked all night to change the accounts, and ignored me for several days! 43. Some people's diet is: eat cream cake or hot pot with a bottle of sugar-free drinks! 44. Recently, everyone in the community is rumored to have perverts harassment residents, scared me not dare to go out, in case they are recognized on the trouble. 45. quarrel with his girlfriend, his girlfriend yelled: "Even if you buy me the last time I looked at that lipstick and I have long desired that bag, I will not forgive you!" I realized, quickly coaxed her: "Don't worry, I will not buy!" 46. On a blind date with a goddess, I said, "Next time we go out, I'll take you for a ride in my sports car!" The goddess said shyly, "When you talk to me, can't you bring the word "baby"?" "Okay, I'll take you for a ride in my baby sports car!" 47. A boy who cares about you while playing LOL doesn't necessarily care about you, it could also be because he's waiting for a resurrection. 48. Other people's sixteen-year-old girl's heart lives on a teenager, while my sixteen-year-old girl's heart only magic. 49. Korean dramas in the rich son have got a disease, that is, must fall in love with the poor girl's disease. 50. The reason why bullish people bullish, is that he endured others can not endure, do others dare not do. 51. Don't complain to irrelevant people, because 20% of people don't care, and the remaining 80% are happy to hear it. 52. Never compete with the dog, win? You are more dog than dog. Lose? You are even worse than a dog. Tie? You and the dog is no difference. 53. "I'm fat how, is to drink your home water, eat your home rice, wear your home cloth, or how it" "Sorry, you block my wifi" 54. love yourself, no one will love you more than you love yourself. The most important thing to remember is that you can't be a good person and you can't be a good person. 55. small sunflower classroom opened, daughter-in-law angry old bad, mostly idle, buy some delicious digestive digestion will be cured, husband angry old bad, mostly loaded, to the death beat a good. 56. I suddenly have the urge to learn, drink water to pressure the shock. Well now calm, just now is too impulsive, fortunately I have strong self-control. 57. Secretly tell you a secret, in fact, there is no such thing as a first kiss, with the epithelial cells are constantly updated, every day is the first kiss. 58. know why I'm a young man all right to go to see the aunt dancing it, because after mixing well with the aunt, the aunt will ask: young man has no girlfriend ah, no, if the aunty to introduce you to one. 59. If you are really hungry can call me, I casually eat some snacks chew to you listen. 60. Language teacher is just joined the work of graduates, very beautiful, students do something wrong like in the student's ear whispered reprimand, that time did not hold back, kissed her a little bit, and successfully helped her to change this habit. 61. the "Palace" "step by step" and a series of Qing dynasty theater together is a living "those years, Yongzheng chased the girl" 62. just bought a "Sun Tzu's Art of War" in the stalls, opened to see, the title page is clearly written: First of all, you have to have a Grandpa. 63. Life is like a ruthless carving knife, not only did not sculpt you well, but also a little bit of your hair shaved off. 64. The rest of my life, I'm thin, I'm rich, and I have everything that's good or I do. 65. In this world, there are always a lot of things can not be explained. For example, some people eat long IQ, some people eat long fat. 66. There is no love in the world without a reason, there is no hate without a reason, but there is a fat without a reason! Don't expect to lose weight, a fat ruin all, eight quit walking a hundred thousand miles also did not see thin down. Moreover, he is a vegetarian! 67. The same are shelved for a month, oranges only began to wrinkle the skin and apples have rotted, so that thick skin for the significance of life is very significant. 68. Some of the girls who seem to have a good time on the surface actually don't even have extra money behind their backs, and even owe ants to spend money. 69. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic two kinds, static is to sleep, dynamic is to turn over ... 70. children sad verbal coaxing on the happy, we adults can not, have to eat a good or buy some things. 71. Insomnia, can not count sheep, to count the kebabs, a string, two strings, three strings, four strings ...... and then you will not be sleepy, began to starve! 72. If our relationship fades, then add some salt. 73. I love to waste money, but I don't have any, so I have to choose to waste time, because time is money. Wasting time is procrastination. You can see that I am procrastinating on the surface, but I am actually showing off my wealth. 74. Mom and Dad really think I'm lazy and don't like to go out. If I had money, you wouldn't even be able to see me. 75. Whenever I am ready to save money, there is always a voice that says to me: be kind to yourself, that's why you can't save money. 76. From today onwards as long as it is my friend, who has no money on the squeak with me, I can tell you about it, no money days how I spent.