20 15 a friend of mine, Xiao Zhang, was also diagnosed with mild depression shortly after giving birth to her second child.
These two real cases happened around me, which made me seriously think about how women in marriage should make themselves better off.
My cousin's family conditions are not bad. My cousin is from the countryside. He can earn money and be honest. His two daughters are also very clever. One is studying in a university outside and the other is in a boarding high school.
She suffered from depression for a long time before committing suicide, and rural people may not pay much attention to it. She has been taking medicine, but the effect doesn't seem obvious.
Cousin often goes out to work and the children are not at home. Cousin was afraid that she would think too much at home, so she came to her house for a period of time.
According to my cousin, when she is at home, my cousin always goes to the roof alone. When I was awake, I asked her, and she said that she was always bored and wanted to jump when she saw high places. Cousin's family is also frightened, and someone looks at her every day.
Later, my mother and cousin always wondered why a family with good conditions, food and clothing, and no need for her to do too much housework and bear the pressure of life would make her suffer from depression and choose to commit suicide.
It is said that on the morning of suicide, she was still sweeping the floor at the gate, talking and laughing with her neighbors. Who would have thought that I would never see her again after two hours?
I have always felt that material things are not what everyone pursues. Maybe she is depressed because her heart is not satisfied, or her value is not reflected. Long-term depression and loneliness have made her embark on this road of no return.
There is a proverb in my hometown: "People do nothing." It means that when people are too idle, they are easy to think, walk into a dead end, and then make trouble.
Although the writing is rough, it is not rough. So people should learn to use time.
Whether you are going to work, traveling or studying, or even going to the square dance, you should find out what you can do and what you love to do, and then find a group of like-minded people.
Fill your own time, that is, fill your own life, then what is there to worry about?
Xiao Zhang is a local girl, and her husband is an employee of a tobacco company with a good salary. The family is a relocated household, which can be divided into several suites. The husband has no brothers and sisters to divide the property. The conditions are also good and enviable.
Every family has its own problems. Only she knows whether other people's lives are good or not.
Her eldest daughter is the same age as my daughter, and we chat in the community yard every day. Because she has a good relationship, maybe she wants to talk to someone, and always tells us some precious mothers of her family.
Her father-in-law died young and only her mother-in-law was at home when she got married. My mother-in-law is a retired employee of a tobacco company with a high retirement salary.
I often see her mother-in-law, but she always surprises me. Because an aunt in her fifties wears heavy makeup, black stockings and miniskirts every day, I have no courage to be like her anyway.
According to Xiao Zhang, her mother-in-law never gives subsidies to her family, but only occasionally buys food for her children. I made a boyfriend much younger than myself, and often gave money to the man, spending 200 thousand successively. And she doesn't help her with the children, doesn't do housework, and sometimes goes out to play mahjong with that man. Once she went out, she didn't come back for many days.
After giving birth to the second child, my health is a little poor. I want to discuss with my mother-in-law whether I can bring one for her or send my eldest daughter to kindergarten.
Although the mother-in-law did not explicitly refuse, she often did not go home since then. She wanted to talk to her mother-in-law with her husband, but he was not on her side. Because my husband was brought up by my mother-in-law, that feeling is different. Moreover, her husband has a mild temper, so he said to let her put up with me a little more.
During her confinement, she went to Lacrimosa every day, and then she became depressed.
It's really bad to see her again after confinement. Chatting with us is always full of complaints. We can only comfort and persuade her constantly.
It is said that "being a mother is strong", and Xiao Zhang is an example.
During that time, a treasure mom in our group did a good job in Taobao, and the WeChat business was also good. We all followed her to learn how to do WeChat business, and a treasure mother group gradually became a learning struggle group. Xiao Zhang also began to change under the drive of positive energy.
She began to learn to arrange the time of her two children and her own time reasonably, and then she learned to do what she could without relying on her husband and mother-in-law, and also took time out to do WeChat business.
Now her health micro-shop is doing well and her children are well raised. I seldom hear her complain about her mother-in-law. In her own words, "You can ignore me, and I will ignore you."
All the choices are made by yourself, so the road after the choice must be completed by yourself.
If there is no one to share, then let yourself be independent and dare to take this road.
"Second child" is the word I have heard the most in recent years, and it took me more than a year to calm down.
I only have one daughter, and my mother-in-law always wants me to have a boy. We have discussed this topic many times. It's not a discussion, but they told me to have another boy.
I haven't been in good health, and sitting for a month hasn't made me better. Long-term insomnia and many dreams make me particularly painful.
I raised this child by myself. Every time she pushes the quilt at night, every time she is sick at night, I take care of myself. Up to now, I don't need an alarm clock to get up every day, and I have to see if the children are tucked up when I get up at night. ...
Mother-in-law, they always say they want another one, but my heart is very firm. As long as the children are taught well, one is enough. Besides, my body really can't support me to have another one.
And most importantly, my mother-in-law prefers boys to girls. When I was seven months pregnant, I found my daughter in my hometown. When I got home, my mother-in-law ignored me for a day. I can't guarantee that the second child is a boy. If I were a girl, I would really be unable to lift my head in this family.
Women really need to love themselves more, stick to themselves and do what they want to do right.
My daughter is in primary school now, and I have fixed time to do what I want to do, such as writing. Time is no longer wasted, I am more and more enriched, and my heart is more and more calm.
The most unforgettable thing for every woman is her original appearance, so don't lose her luster because of marriage.
Learn to use time, learn to think independently, learn to love yourself, be brave, not overly dependent, and be a shining woman!
I am a raindrop lotus pond. I love traveling, learning (I have obtained a tour guide certificate by myself), writing and sentimentality.